Introduction Thread

[WashedClean]

Hi SarahCarlene,

An official welcome to the Unequally Yoked forum here at CF!

Since Free4All is so good at asking the tough, but necessary, questions I will just add a few things...

I was also raised Methodist. When my husband and I married in the Methodist church, neither of us were Christians, but didn't really know it. Ten years later I was finally saved, and he's still unsaved. The reason I mention my upbringing in the Methodist church is because I want to give you hope. I had a good foundation of the Christian faith growing up there, and it opened my mind to Jesus. Unfortunately, my heart took a while to catch up . I cannot say that your fiance will be saved, but it's a good sign that he's open to the gospel and asking questions. My advice would be to proceed very cautiously. Your witness to him right now is very important (sorry to put added pressure on you). For instance, when you start changing your behavior/lifestyle as you mentioned, he will notice that more than anything you say. Be strong and lean on the Lord.

I also encourage you to read through old threads here. There is a lot of wisdom from those of us who have walked this road. I'm blessed that I have a good solid marriage, even though my husband is not saved. That doesn't mean I don't still grieve for his soul and experience intense loneliness in my walk with God. In fact, I'm probably the exception here. I don't have children, so that takes some of the issues away. Please consider marriage to your fiance very carefully. You must be prepared for the worst in case he takes a totally different attitude after marriage.

Please let us know how you're doing and we will pray for you.

In Christ,

Jill/WashedClean

 

[rainbowpromises]

I'm engaged to a wonderful man who I assumed was saved, as he'd spent his childhood attending a Methodist church and he talked about being baptised and stuff.
He admitted to me recently when I told him I was saved and going to try to change my lifestyle a bit and get closer to God that he'd never been saved.
He says he was alot of questions. That he believes there's possibly a higher power, but he doesn't want to just jump into something blindly. He's a very factual, logical man, not big on faith.
I can see an interest however, and he very much enjoys going to church.
I'm just praying. Alot. And could use more prayer and support.

Welcome Sarah!

I guess I could say my husband is one step up from that. When we met we had the religious discussions. We were both willing to go to church, but didn't. We were both willing to read the Bible and had Bible knowledge, but didn't. We had both memorized all the salvation verses in childhood. He had been baptized but I hadn't. We were a perfect match.

When our children were born, he agreed to taking them to church. His personal take on church was that he had "Gone there enough as a kid to last his lifetime." I still didn't see a problem.

When God made me stop and pay attention to His call, that is when things changed. He is still willing to accept how I live, but there is division in our home.

 

[cristianna]

...

 

[SarahCarlene]

Sarah,
Welcome! Everyone has offered you excellent advice and topics/scenarios to think about.

As you have probably read many of us share some type of similar circumstances even though some are greatly different. My husband is phenomenal man-- excellent character, wisdom, morals and values; fantastic and hardworking husband; great father, etc. Yet he's lacking on the religious side and just recently told me he feels his excellent character is enough to make it through life.

Honestly, if it were me, I'd run your fiancee to the nearest church to: have questions answered, join a men's group and begin a couples bible study together. If he's expressing desire I think now is the time-- skip the garden hose... get out the fire hose and start quenching his thirst!

Absolutely. I want to get his questions answered ASAP. He is a 'clam up' person though, so I'm trying to do what I can to get things through to him without him clamming up or pushing me away. I'm the one person in his life he doesn't do that to.
He really does like the pastor at the church we've started visiting at. And I'm going to suggest that maybe they could meet and talk about his questions.
Thanks!

 

[cory533]

I guess it's about time I checked in.
Cory is not my real name but it's short for my baptismal name Cornelius some of my friends know me by this name. I do not use my true name as I do not want to cause any problem for my wife if someone she knows recognizes us. I am pushing 45 I married my wife almost 25 years ago. I was raised Catholic and always have known God on an intimate level. However when I met my wife at work I was in rebellion. I was partying full time working full time and going to school full time something had to give so I dropped out of collage. not my best decision ever. When I met my DW I had been praying the Queen song "Find me somebody to love" and she turned up. If only I had prayed for someone to love me loll. I decided she was the answer to my prayer gave up hard drugs as a sacrifice of praise. (I was only into recreational use) I still smoked pot until my sons came along and gave me a new perspective. So as I was be cleaning up my act my DW was looking for a bad boy to help her break free from her repressive goody two shoes upbringing. we passed going in opposite directions.
I did not hold our relationship to a Godly standard and in so doing I belive missed out on a very special blessing. Now I reap what I sowed and am still married to a non believer. after one and a half years married things were falling apart I was in a charismatic prayer meeting The priest suggested visualizing the sacrificial lamb laying our sins on it and watching it burn up on the alter in our mind I did and out of those flames Jesus came forward and said "PEACE" one word but in that one word I knew He had taken care of everything my life my sin my marriage. One minute I was in tears because my life and I were so miserable the next I was crying because He is so good and my life is washed.
Fast forward 23 years here I am serving God in a nondenominational pentecostal church my two sons are 18 and19. My marriage has survived a separation,miscarriage, various fights, multiple infidelities mostly hers but I'm not blameless there either.
I still love her and pray for the day Jesus finishes what he has begun.I covet all your prayers. And now when I sign off wishing you the Peace of Christ you may know what I mean and if you have never felt that peace I once again pray it for you.
Peace in Christ,
Cory

 

[pete56]

Wow Cory, that is quite a journey brother!

Thanks for sharing!

Pete

 

[free4all]

Cory,

Thanks for sharing.

Peace, Brother.

 

[Pepperoni]

I guess it's about time I checked in.
Cory is not my real name but it's short for my baptismal name Cornelius some of my friends know me by this name. I do not use my true name as I do not want to cause any problem for my wife if someone she knows recognizes us. I am pushing 45 I married my wife almost 25 years ago. I was raised Catholic and always have known God on an intimate level. However when I met my wife at work I was in rebellion. I was partying full time working full time and going to school full time something had to give so I dropped out of collage. not my best decision ever. When I met my DW I had been praying the Queen song "Find me somebody to love" and she turned up. If only I had prayed for someone to love me loll. I decided she was the answer to my prayer gave up hard drugs as a sacrifice of praise. (I was only into recreational use) I still smoked pot until my sons came along and gave me a new perspective. So as I was be cleaning up my act my DW was looking for a bad boy to help her break free from her repressive goody two shoes upbringing. we passed going in opposite directions.
I did not hold our relationship to a Godly standard and in so doing I belive missed out on a very special blessing. Now I reap what I sowed and am still married to a non believer. after one and a half years married things were falling apart I was in a charismatic prayer meeting The priest suggested visualizing the sacrificial lamb laying our sins on it and watching it burn up on the alter in our mind I did and out of those flames Jesus came forward and said "PEACE" one word but in that one word I knew He had taken care of everything my life my sin my marriage. One minute I was in tears because my life and I were so miserable the next I was crying because He is so good and my life is washed.
Fast forward 23 years here I am serving God in a nondenominational pentecostal church my two sons are 18 and19. My marriage has survived a separation,miscarriage, various fights, multiple infidelities mostly hers but I'm not blameless there either.
I still love her and pray for the day Jesus finishes what he has begun.I covet all your prayers. And now when I sign off wishing you the Peace of Christ you may know what I mean and if you have never felt that peace I once again pray it for you.
Peace in Christ,
Cory

I'm always amazed at how similar some of the stories are that I read here. Thanks for sharing your testimony and experiences!

P.S. I DO love your elephant icon . . .

 

[cory533]

P.S. I DO love your elephant icon . . .

Yes I'm one of 'those'

 

[annaapple]

Everyone! I think I only half belong here but as I sometimes share your frustrations I thought I would introduce myself. My DH was raised Catholic and has always gone to church, even when his parents didn't make him anymore! I was raised agnostic / humanist ie with nothing and became a believer 10 years ago, before I met my DH. I'm not really unequally yoked, as we go to church as a family and he does take his faith and God seriously. But for him it is a private affair, which he internalizes and which doesn't seem to affect the way he lives much. I feel as though I am more passionate about Christ and want Him in our lives more. It's like he'll take God only as much as it doesn't impinge on what he wants. But I have to be fair to him, I talk a good fight, but I don't do enough for God either. For example, I'm here now instead of either cleaning the kitchen or doing a Bible study. I know I'm responsible for me and the buck stops there, but I can't help but feel it would be easier if we were fully in it together e.g. doing Bible studies together. That way we could support each other and stop each other falling into the temptations of television and CF!

I want to be whole hearted about Christ, but I'm finding it hard to be whole-hearted alone.

 

[cory533]

Everyone! I think I only half belong here but as I sometimes share your frustrations I thought I would introduce myself. My DH was raised Catholic and has always gone to church, even when his parents didn't make him anymore! I was raised agnostic / humanist ie with nothing and became a believer 10 years ago, before I met my DH. I'm not really unequally yoked, as we go to church as a family and he does take his faith and God seriously. But for him it is

I can only speak for myself but my perception of being Unequally yoked is that two need to be paired unequally. I believe this includes your situation where you are pulling at different speeds but in the same general direction. pairing an ox and a donkey is very difficult as they are different in nearly every way as a believer and an unbeliever can be But even yoking two horses together of different size or temperament can be a problem,as with two believers of differing levels of faith,or differing views on key issues.
anyway, welcome
Cory
</IMG>

 

[cristianna]

...

 

[SarahCarlene]

Well... I just want to thank everyone for advice and welcoming me. However, (thankfully), my time in this grouping has been brief. Not that ya'll aren't a lovely bunch of folks, but I have some great news!
My fiance accepted Christ yesterday.

 

[pete56]

Well... I just want to thank everyone for advice and welcoming me. However, (thankfully), my time in this grouping has been brief. Not that ya'll aren't a lovely bunch of folks, but I have some great news!
My fiance accepted Christ yesterday.

PTL \0/

 

[free4all]

Well... I just want to thank everyone for advice and welcoming me. However, (thankfully), my time in this grouping has been brief. Not that ya'll aren't a lovely bunch of folks, but I have some great news!
My fiance accepted Christ yesterday.

That's wonderful news, Sarah! Make the most of this opportunity; continue to pray for him just as much as you did before he accepted Christ. I hope you two will attend church, read the Bible together, and pray together. I hope you will search out some Bible study or some mature Christians to disciple you and dh. Don't neglect the importance of Christian friends and regular church attendance.

 

[RedheadedPrincess]

My dh and I have been married about a year and a half. Before marriage and the first 6 months of marriage we went to church every week together. We had very similar beliefs and were growing at a steady pace in our relationships with God. We both felt that the one of the major purposes of marriage was to serve God together and couldn't wait to get started. We prayed and read the Bible together, etc.

Well about a year ago, my dh stopped going to church and questioning his beliefs. This has led him to belief that all religions are the same and that as long as you believe in some kind of God and live a good life that you will go to heaven. He doesn't want to discuss religion at all with me, and has changed drastically. It trully breaks my heart to see him change like this.

 

[RedheadedPrincess]

Sarah I am so happy that your fiance accepted Christ as his Savior!

 

[free4all]

My dh and I have been married about a year and a half. Before marriage and the first 6 months of marriage we went to church every week together. We had very similar beliefs and were growing at a steady pace in our relationships with God. We both felt that the one of the major purposes of marriage was to serve God together and couldn't wait to get started. We prayed and read the Bible together, etc.

Well about a year ago, my dh stopped going to church and questioning his beliefs. This has led him to belief that all religions are the same and that as long as you believe in some kind of God and live a good life that you will go to heaven. He doesn't want to discuss religion at all with me, and has changed drastically. It trully breaks my heart to see him change like this.

Hi ILMH,

Welcome to UY!

That must have been (be) heartwrenching to see the change in your husband. But keep praying: down deep he knows the truth. God's word can still work on him even though he's trying to reject it.

Here's a link to the check-in thread if you'd like to converse about anything: http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?p=35485828#post35485828


Wayne

 

[Redheadedstepchild]

Hi-

I was pointed in this direction.

My DH and I have been married almost 14 yrs (anniv. is the 26th). When we got married we were in similar places spiritually. We both considered ourselves to be Christians but had little use for the institution of church. Both of us had been fairly involved in church growing up, me in a UMC and he in a SBC, and both of us were disallusioned by our experiences. I actually think that my DHs convictions were stronger than mine at this time. Anyhow, 10 years ago my father-in-law passed away. My DH was/is very angry with God as a result and at times I think he doubts His very existence. I think he wants to believe but just can't convince himself.
I have gone through periods of time myself where I've been fairly agnostic, but recently I've felt God moving in my life to bring me back to my faith. My DH is bewildered by all this and not ready for change. He thinks I'm trying to force him into belief, though I'm not at all. I think he will come to it when he is ready just as I have. However, I am asking him to have input on our choice of church because I want him to be comfortable once he is ready. This is causing us some conflict.

So that's the situation in a nutshell.

Incidentally, ilovemyhubby, I love your outfit!!

 

[RedheadedPrincess]

Redheadedstepchild I also love your outfit. I am assuming from your name that you are a redhead. I am also a redhead...I guess redheads think alike on outfits.