Thanks all for your opinion :-D, but i for one am still stuck in the middle. At the age of 15/16, it's hard for me because i don't have anyone in my age group that i can freely talk to or care to share their similar thought with me on anything. Even the Christians at my church who are my age group are not really Christians they all just come to Church because they have to (mind you I go to 3 church). Everyone i referred to as friends are over 30 and close to my mothers age lol (i'm looked at as somewhat mature for my age). And to me they are all one sided and it is just tough for me, because i truly feel alone. Girls and Boys my age are out having crazy fun, "living life", and growing up their own way and when they reach their 30s or 40s that's when they will "find" God and get saved, and i can't escape my feeling and God and I'm scared. I cry almost everyday now because I'm alone and scared and i feel horrible about myself because i really do not like myself and believe I'm a sinner though in the bottom of my heart i have yet done anything sinful, (i hardly lie, and try to always tell the truth) and i don't drink, smoke, party, nothing.... but i still feel like I'm a horrible person and i don't understand why? plus I'm not even baptized.
i feel like I'm being watched and i seem to not really know who i am, i am at lost, not even those who i am well acquainted with for many years can truly figure out who i am, i'm said to be "Sissille you just Sissille"
plus i'm just lost someone 3 months ago really close to me, my best friend who i was close to like a sister, and i'm not grieving because everything happen for a reason right? and i should be happy, but i'm sure that her spirit might not be in happy place and that makes me sad, and now i feel scared and am crying at the moment and am very sorry i spam i didn't know i was spamming, i didn't read, i'm sorry.
i just wanted answer from all the groups that i saw about when i signed up. and I guess the reason my interest rose about all the other stuff is because i want to find an answer from God directly, i believe only my spirit can truly talk to God since my heart hasn't find the right answer. I just want a feeling of relief or "it's okay", or just go back to a day that i felt happy with that one friend of mine.
I mean i'm this young, if i'm not happy now i don't think i would want over the years to have this same feeling, I don't like that i have no way to escape this world. (don't worry i would never do anything against God), but i had truly believe that maybe meditation or some sort of other method that may not be against God can just give me a sweet relief. and well i'm sorry again i'm i guess i'm not going to be coming here anymore sorry again for the "spam" i didn't know
God Bless, and sorry if this don't make sense, i just wroted as i was feeling it, i don't want to read it back because i'll just deleted and i have to apologize. :-D sry
i feel like I'm being watched and i seem to not really know who i am, i am at lost, not even those who i am well acquainted with for many years can truly figure out who i am, i'm said to be "Sissille you just Sissille"
plus i'm just lost someone 3 months ago really close to me, my best friend who i was close to like a sister, and i'm not grieving because everything happen for a reason right? and i should be happy, but i'm sure that her spirit might not be in happy place and that makes me sad, and now i feel scared and am crying at the moment and am very sorry i spam i didn't know i was spamming, i didn't read, i'm sorry.
i just wanted answer from all the groups that i saw about when i signed up. and I guess the reason my interest rose about all the other stuff is because i want to find an answer from God directly, i believe only my spirit can truly talk to God since my heart hasn't find the right answer. I just want a feeling of relief or "it's okay", or just go back to a day that i felt happy with that one friend of mine.
I mean i'm this young, if i'm not happy now i don't think i would want over the years to have this same feeling, I don't like that i have no way to escape this world. (don't worry i would never do anything against God), but i had truly believe that maybe meditation or some sort of other method that may not be against God can just give me a sweet relief. and well i'm sorry again i'm i guess i'm not going to be coming here anymore sorry again for the "spam" i didn't know
God Bless, and sorry if this don't make sense, i just wroted as i was feeling it, i don't want to read it back because i'll just deleted and i have to apologize. :-D sry