I'm a devout christian but I dont know how god expects me to handle urges plz help!

[KatILoveJesus]

I was told in health class that females normally experience urges but I spoke with my parents and they said such urges are sinful. In health class they told us all that its perfectly normal but the bible tells people things like this arent right. so what should I be doing?

I really love jesus and want to be true to god but if god made me how can I be true and deny who I am normally

plz help i just want to be a good person but im really confused as to what I need 2 be doing

 

[Autumnleaf]

Its okay to eat chocolate once in awhile but its not healthy to eat it all the time.

 

[KatILoveJesus]

Its okay to eat chocolate once in awhile but its not healthy to eat it all the time.

Im confused
what ru saying? to have urges is ok or to act on them is ok?

I want to be moral and follow god and do the rite thing but I need to know what I should be doing. Your answer isnt easy to follow

 

[child0fg0d88]

I'm assuming you mean sexual urges Autumn.

Hormones are more prevalent in adolescents and young adults and you may not always be able to control how you feel. But you can control on how you act on them. You know the right thing to do, and the right thing to do is what God wants, just don't give in. Be strong.

 

[Diatogen]

I think he's lightheartedly pointing out the vagueness of your op.

Jesus says if you lust you are guilty of adultery. But I don't think he said this to convince people to stop lusting. He said this to stop people from thinking they didn't need a saviour to cover their sins. (as they were self-righteously justifing themselves)

"Jesus did not come to earth to make bad people good, but to make dead people live." Ravi Zacharias

Our desire to be better comes from our love for Him which comes from His love for us. But don't be discouraged that you haven't achieved sinlessness! It's not possible! ...YET!

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Hormones are a normal thing, to have 'urges', as you put it, is normal but to act upon the 'urges' is sinful.

 

[KatILoveJesus]

So what am I supposed to do? Ignore "sexual urges"? Or acknowledge them. PLZ be direct idk what to do here.

I know sex is wrong and should only happen in marriage but what should I do NOW? Should i try to fight these sinful urges or what?

Plz I'm very confused as to how to behave right.

 

[child0fg0d88]

Kat,

I suggest you pray more. We all go through struggles like this. But I can tell you that if you give in to your urges, you will feel far worse than you do now. Having the urge isn't necessarily you can help, but you need to control it so that you don't make any poor choices. Pray, pray, and then pray some more as a start. God bless.

 

[znr]

So what am I supposed to do? Ignore "sexual urges"? Or acknowledge them. PLZ be direct idk what to do here.

I know sex is wrong and should only happen in marriage but what should I do NOW? Should i try to fight these sinful urges or what?

Plz I'm very confused as to how to behave right.

It's not sinful to want to have sex. God created us to want to have sex. Some of the churches teach that having urges is sinful, and they make young people, and older people for that matter, feel badly for having sexual urges; sometimes directly stating that and other times implying this.

You asked for a direct answer. Okay, don't act on these urges. You're not ready and you're so young, I can see that. And you're confused, I can see that. Let yourself grow up and not have your life be complicated with sex until the time is right. It's not a popular thing to say, but wait until you're married. God would forgive you if you had sex, but you might hurt your life and complicate it very much.

I hope someone else can give better advice than I have given, but I hope that you'll listen to a big sister's opinion on the matter and don't have sex.

 

[KatILoveJesus]

It's not sinful to want to have sex. God created us to want to have sex. Some of the churches teach that having urges is sinful, and they make young people, and older people for that matter, feel badly for having sexual urges; sometimes directly stating that and other times implying this.

You asked for a direct answer. Okay, don't act on these urges. You're not ready and you're so young, I can see that. And you're confused, I can see that. Let yourself grow up and not have your life be complicated with sex until the time is right. It's not a popular thing to say, but wait until you're married. God would forgive you if you had sex, but you might hurt your life and complicate it very much.

I hope someone else can give better advice than I have given, but I hope that you'll listen to a big sister's opinion on the matter and don't have sex.

But do I need to apologize or repent for these urges? i did not ask for them but honestly they are here. so what should i do? what can i do? i want to behave right in gods eyes and in society and the governments eyes but im not sure how! im embarassed to talk to my parents about it but still i know there is stuff i need to figure out sex is not right until lawful and caring marriage yet i am in all ways... "virgin"... and I still have urges to act in an immoral way. what can i do and what should i do. plz help!

 

[znr]

But do I need to apologize or repent for these urges? i did not ask for them but honestly they are here. so what should i do? what can i do? i want to behave right in gods eyes and in society and the governments eyes but im not sure how! im embarassed to talk to my parents about it but still i know there is stuff i need to figure out sex is not right until lawful and caring marriage yet i am in all ways... "virgin"... and I still have urges to act in an immoral way. what can i do and what should i do. plz help!

God made your body. It's perfect and working the way it's supposed to work, with all those crazy sexual urges. That's a good thing. How wonderful to be young. Having those urges is good and you're not misbehaving in God's eyes by being who God created. God is happy with His work in you; you glorify Him just by existing. He knows every hair on your head and every trial you're going through. Come here and talk, we won't judge you and you can bend my ear all you need. I'm here for you if you want to PM me.

You might consider staying away from guys who tempt you, keep your distance, and have you a church you can attend? maybe find some young people you can relate with. Put up strict boundaries, really; no heavy petting, some kissing, no oral and no sex. Holding hands is nice, so are light kisses, those things are romantic. Having a sexual relationship is not what is best for you not just yet, not because it's sinful. If God has a special guy for you, let God bring you together, otherwise just say no to sex. But remember, the urges are good, they're from God, but we have to tame them or they will run all over our lives. Timing is everything.

Its late, I'm tired, but PM me if you want to talk more, I will have time for you if you want a big sister to talk to. Please do ask if you want to talk, Kat.

 

[Echetus]

Well Kat, the Lord wishes to reveal something to you. Being abstinant before marriage is what you need to do, and controlling yourself is apart of discipline. A Christian discipline. You need to refrain, because remember, the devil can appear as an Angel of Light. If you dont learn how to control yourself sexually, youll never learn how to control yourself spiritually. I myself am a virgin, and man am I glad I did it. Every virgin Ive met so far has been attractive, smart, believing, and a virgin, like me. See virgins are dedicated to marriage. The best person to marry is a virgin because they have controlled themselves sexually their entire life, and wish to be a Holy Creature in Heaven (because remember, two fleshes make one in heaven).

 

[JohnMarsten]

Well Kat, the Lord wishes to reveal something to you. Being abstinant before marriage is what you need to do, and controlling yourself is apart of discipline. A Christian discipline. You need to refrain, because remember, the devil can appear as an Angel of Light. If you dont learn how to control yourself sexually, youll never learn how to control yourself spiritually. I myself am a virgin, and man am I glad I did it. Every virgin Ive met so far has been attractive, smart, believing, and a virgin, like me. See virgins are dedicated to marriage. The best person to marry is a virgin because they have controlled themselves sexually their entire life, and wish to be a Holy Creature in Heaven (because remember, two fleshes make one in heaven).

I tend to agree with you, nevertheless it can go the other way round as well, after years people change...

 

[tturt]

Following Biblical principals in all areas of our lives is always the best thing for us to do.

We are spirit, soul, and body (Matt. 22:37). Since we're believers, we don't want our souls (our thoughts and emotions) to overrule our spirits. In our spirits, we want self control and to follow every Biblical guideline. But we have to deal with our bodies and souls. This is shown throughout Scripture such as when King David wanted Bathsheba (II Sam 11). Since our behavior is based on our thought life, we're told to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:4-5 ). So we renew our minds by reading His Word and relying on Yahweh. The more we rely on Him, we give Him more and more areas of our lives to Him. We can do all things through Yeshua who strengthens us (Phil 4:13).

 

[Cupis]

These are my thoughts,

I don't believe that Sexual urges are wrong or sinful, I mean every man and woman will have them. It is simply part of our being and this has been given to us by God. Can you possibly imagine getting married some day and not having those desires? It is healthy to have those feelings.

Now, here comes my thin line that I believe must not be crossed. These desires can easily allow you to start fantasising, this is were the problem comes in. I interpret the passage of Mathew 5:28

28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

If you start fantasising about those people, now you allowing yourself to drift into sin. Now let us just be clear that a thought that tempts you is not a sin, that is simply temptation, but Choosing to meditate on it now becomes a sin.

Now, I perfectly understand your temptation, I often find myself struggling with it myself. It sometimes feels uncontrollable and hard to escape, but there are things you can do. I have read a few books, which teach that if you can minimise your sexual appetite it will be a lot easier to control. This can be achieve by ignoring those 'sexy' pictures that put on magazines, closing your eyes in saucy scenes in movies, avoid sexual conversations with friends etc. If you stop feeding your sexual appetite it grows small and controllable. In essence you are taking your focus off sex (which you can now focus on more Godly things)

To finish off I really have to urge you to avoid sex before marraige at all costs. I am an unfortunate one to have failed this (Before I was saved), and although I know I am I am forgiven and I take Joy in this, I sometimes think back and wish I had not as I ruined myself for my partner someday and I ruined that person for their partner some day.

Regards,
Cupis

 

[Cupis]

and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ

Absolutely brilliant verse for this discussion

Like I said, you have two options on a tempting thought.

You can say YES and continue fantasising weakening your control, or you can say NO and keep it away until it is just and right, strengthening your control

 

[hedrick]

I'm not sure whether any of the answers so far have helped or not. The closest Jesus came to addressing this issue is, as far as I know, Mat 5:28. But that's not about "urges" exactly. Rather, it's about how we think of people of the opposite sex (assuming you're heterosexual). The two are closely connected. After all, sexual desire often shows up as sexual thoughts about specific people. But there are also urges that are more biological, not associated with any specific person.

First, the desire alone isn't sinful. You don't need to confess it. You may need to ask for help in dealing with it, but that's a different thing.

Second, on thoughts. I don't think it's a good idea to make people afraid of their own thoughts. Teens are going to wonder what it would be like to have sex with somebody. I don't think a certain amount of imagination is a problem. The term "lust" in Mat 5:28 implies wanting to possess someone. It's the same word translated "covet" when it's not about people. So I see this as someone who sees members of the opposite sex more as potential sexual conquests than as people, i.e. someone who is trying about how to get them into her bed. This depends upon your age and situation. For someone who is married, sexual fantasy about someone you're not married to is likely a problem. But for someone you're age I think it's a part of growing up, and you should only consider it a problem if you start thinking of boys in the wrong way or it gets excessive.

Finally, if the urges you're talking about are more biological, and don't involve thoughts about anyone in particular, I don't have much to add to what others have said. The urges are normal. You don't need to consider them sinful or confess them. But you're responsible for what you do about them. If you browse this section and the young adult and teen sections, you'll find endless discussion about whether masturbation is OK. A lot of Christians think so. A lot don't. But in the end, Christians do have to develop self-control. You might ask other kids in one of the young adult or teen groups what works for them.

 

[c1ners]

So what am I supposed to do? Ignore "sexual urges"? Or acknowledge them. PLZ be direct idk what to do here.

I know sex is wrong and should only happen in marriage but what should I do NOW? Should i try to fight these sinful urges or what?

Plz I'm very confused as to how to behave right.

Sometimes a person has to ignore those sexual urges. You can't just act out everytime we get horny or the world would be full of lusting people and babies.

Seriously, what you do is learn how to control your urges. Women do have sexual feelings and we are not sinful creatures for it. However we can't just grab the first available guy we see when one of these urges come on. We learn how to control it. Just like a man does.

Sex is not dirty or sinful unless you make it dirty and sinful. But it sounds to me that you are a normal red blooded, healthy woman.

 

[NewUser777]

Fighting sinful urges takes backbone and strength. You get that by reading the Word and prayer. For the most part, resisting sin is not fun. No one ever said it would be. But it must be done, otherwise you will end up like a lot of people on this board. They gave in to sexual desires and now they are in torment because of what they or someone else did to get momentary pleasure.

Fighting is easier with someone else helping you. Try to find a mature Christian woman in your church to confide in. You can pray with her about this and tell her how things are going with you on a weekly basis. You would be surprised how much this helps.

Lastly, God will help you. The Bible says resist the devil and he will flee from you. So, resist him.

Be careful who you hang out with. If you hang out with girls who are promiscuous, you should distance yourself from them. Try to put yourself in a safe place at all times and avoid compromising situations.

God bless you.

 

[Pal Handy]

I was told in health class that females normally experience urges but I spoke with my parents and they said such urges are sinful. In health class they told us all that its perfectly normal but the bible tells people things like this arent right. so what should I be doing?

I really love jesus and want to be true to god but if god made me how can I be true and deny who I am normally

plz help i just want to be a good person but im really confused as to what I need 2 be doing

Thoughts are not sin unless we focus on them and become obsessed with them.

We are bombarded on every side by sex in movies, advertisements,
music and every other way imaginable so if you allow yourself to
be swept away with pop culture and the worlds way of thinking,
you will become obsessed with sex.

As a person who follows Christ you are to think on pure thoughts and
give yourself to serving God and others and you are to develop your
relationship with God through Christ.

My daughter kept herself before God and God has sent her a wonderful man to be her husband.

It is possible to live a Godly life and keep yourself for the right person
that God will send to you as you pray and seek God's will in your
life above the garbage of the world that wants to pervert you and
cause you to miss out on God's blessings in your life.

If you allow your mind to dwell on sex, you will not be able to resist but
if you make Christ your goal and His will for your life a number one priority,
you will be blessed and the thoughts of sex will take their proper place
in your life and God will lead you to the blessings He has for you.

Short term pleasure will always satisfy for a moment but will leave you empty, crushed
and unfulfilled but if you will wait on the Lord and His timing for your life, you will
never be disappointed with the good that God will bring into your life.

The devil will try to convince you that you are "missing out" but
if you go God's way, you will see in time that the blessing of the Lord
cause an increase of all that is good in your life but add no sorrow
with those blessings.

Sin brings pain, sorrow, suffering and even spiritual death and for some physical death.

Put your heart and mind on the things of God and ask Him to fill the
desire for sex with a desire to know Him and to find His purpose
for your life and God will take care of the rest.