I'm a devout christian but I dont know how god expects me to handle urges plz help!

[parsley]

What you describe is how our species procreates. Feeling a natural instinct is not something you can prevent; what you do with the urge sets you apart as an intelligent and spiritual being.

We are spirit, soul, and body (Matt. 22:37). Since we're believers, we don't want our souls (our thoughts and emotions) to overrule our spirits. In our spirits, we want self control and to follow every Biblical guideline. But we have to deal with our bodies and souls.

God created us to want to have sex... Having those urges is good and you're not misbehaving in God's eyes by being who God created. God is happy with His work in you; you glorify Him just by existing.

Sometimes a person has to ignore those sexual urges. You can't just act out everytime we get horny or the world would be full of lusting people and babies.

It's important to plan your life well, and not fall victim to wanting and coveting. Make a map for your future, and stick to it. Decide when you want to eventually have kids, and hold yourself to doing what it takes to get there. If you make a mistake along the way, or it doesn't work out as planned, then adapt.

It's important to see that urges are not just about crushes and satisfaction, but about generating new humans. There is a very direct cause and effect, even if it only happens a percentage of the time.

Having a boyfriend is not a sin, longing for someone is not a sin, wanting friendly physical contact is not a sin. Find out where the borderline is, and determine ahead of time what your time limit will be. Your parents are just trying to protect you from a very common consequence.

The devil will try to convince you that you are "missing out"

In a couple years you will have a big collection of stories on how your friends got burned with romance and experimentation.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I'm just a guy so this is a shot in the dark but can these sexual urges of a woman be more about wanting to get pregnant rather then just sex itself? I know a womans clock ticks and makes her think of alot of things.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

I'm just a guy so this is a shot in the dark but can these sexual urges of a woman be more about wanting to get pregnant rather then just sex itself? I know a womans clock ticks and makes her think of alot of things.

Not always, I know a lot girls who have sex just to have sex.

 

[gideon123]

Before giving a serious answer to the original post, I really have to pick up on an early comment.

-----------------------

"Its okay to eat chocolate once in awhile but its not healthy to eat it all the time. "

I gotta' say that feedback is a huge setback for me personally.
I LOVE chocolate.
HAHAHAHAHA !!!!
-------------------------

Alright, alright. Back to the OP.
Lots of people have urges and sexual desires. That is normal. It is how God made you. If you are having them - be glad. It just means that your body and mind are functioning normally. You would be having a bigger problem if you were NOT having them.

You cannot suppress these desires by simply pretending that they don't exist. They will not go away. They are part of the physical makeup of your body. Nor should you suddenly start beating yourself up because you will "burn in hell" because of lust. That's also ridiculous and way out of balance.

The basic answer is that you need to have some personal discipline. The issue is not that you have desires. The real key is what you do with them. You need to find balance between desires and discipline. So much of the time - having a healthy life as a Christian involves finding that balance. Hopefully, you will find a mate, get married, and have a loving relationship. At that point you have an outlet for sexual desires that is healthy. Until you get there, it will be a struggle ... yes. But if you didn't have those desires, you would be missing a key ingredient in life that propels you forwards in relationships. You need some incentive to go out and find a mate. Without desire, there wouldn't be much incentive to go through all the hassles of dating, relationships, etc. So God's basic plan is intact ... there's a purpose for everything.

Finally, please keep it in the bigger perspective. Almost EVERYBODY on the whole planet has to handle this issue. It's not like Christians are the only ones who struggle. Many people, many cultures, many religions all have to work their way through the issue of how to have healthy, balanced relationships. Personal discipline, and keeping things in perspective, is an important part of the process.

Gideon123

 

[Boidae]

Every virgin Ive met so far has been attractive, smart, believing, and a virgin, like me. See virgins are dedicated to marriage. The best person to marry is a virgin because they have controlled themselves sexually their entire life, and wish to be a Holy Creature in Heaven (because remember, two fleshes make one in heaven).

While it's good that you are abstaining from sex before marriage, I have to disagree with this statement.

Neither my wife or I were virgins when we got married. I was 35 years old when we married and she was 28.

My wife is the most beautiful woman on the planet in my eyes. She is fully dedicated to marriage, a believer in Christ, smart and full of wisdom. She completely disclosed to me on the night that we met what her past was like and I had no issues with it.

You can not count out those that have had sex before marriage as damaged goods.

 

[Cupis]

You can not count out those that have had sex before marriage as damaged goods.

I definitely agree, just because we may have stumbled or were lulled into a false sense of Love previously does not mean we will not be committed and loving to the enth degree.

On that note, it is the Lords wish that we remain pure for our future spouse. As everyone has pointed out, just takes some self discipline and all that are giving that advice know exactly how you feel, so it is certainly not empty advice

 

[gideon123]

"You can not count out those that have had sex before marriage as damaged goods. "

+1.

We're all damaged goods ... in one way or another.
Amazingly enough - God knows how to pick up the pieces.

Gideon123

 

[TruthSeeker2012]

Discipleship Is Costly! Only few find the gates to heaven and want to know why? Because only a FEW are willing to completely DENY THEMSELVES and their own desires, and instead live for Christ.

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.

Jesus said if you love Him you will obey Him, John 14:15.

Be honest with yourself, do you truly love Jesus and do you truly want to DENY YOURSELF and follow Him?

Maybe heaven is not for you? Maybe you are not truly wanting to deny what you want and follow Christ completely.

Be honest with yourself, don't lie to yourself.

God bless.

 

[Boidae]

Just remember, that if you do mess up, that you will be forgiven if you ask for forgiveness and turn away from the sin.

I'm not giving you free reign to sin, but you need to know that you will be forgiven as well. That if you mess up, that you are not excluded from the Kingdom of Heaven just because you mess up.

 

[TruthSeeker2012]

Just remember, that if you do mess up, that you will be forgiven if you ask for forgiveness and turn away from the sin.

I'm not giving you free reign to sin, but you need to know that you will be forgiven as well. That if you mess up, that you are not excluded from the Kingdom of Heaven just because you mess up.

Amen As long as they truly love Jesus and trust in Jesus, they are saved. But once saved, a truly born again Christian will desire to DENY THEMSELVES and their own desires and follow Christ, Mat 16:24.

If someone continues to live for their own pleasures and not care about denying themselves for Jesus, then I would need to question if they have truly been born again in the first place.

God bless.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I think a good amount of christians mess up and have sex before marriage. Sure its a sin, but people shouldn't worry about others knowing. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone I say. Although admiteddly I will not have sex before marraige again and I even make sure who ever I am with knows that. Which is good because my fiance had sex once before marraige to. Neither of us wants to make that mistake again.

Its actually very romantic to wait until marriage. Its like having a gift under the tree that your not allowed opening until christmas. You know its there and you try not to think about it. But come christmas day you run for that package as soon as you get up and open it and enjoy it so much. Hmm, probably not the best analogy lol.

 

[soldierundercommand]

Hi Kat,

My goodness, relax my friend. Having sexual urges is not a sin....it's how we were wired. You don't need to repent of a physiological issue.

What you need to do is not act on the urge to have sex outside of marriage because it;s an urge. This is a very personal issue for each individual because it eventually goes into personal means of taking care of the urge.

Here is a good rule of thumb....don't feed the physical urge. The urge is only dangerous if you give it mindfulness. Live your life, stay out of situations that may tempt you to accelerate that urge. IDLE TIME IS A DANGEROUS THING! STAY BUSY! What you give yourself to will control you, okay Kat? Don't give yourself over to even worrying about the issue or it will become like a 20 ton gorilla on your back.

But please don't let anyone, including your parents make you feel guilty about something that God perfected in you, okay?

 

[NewUser777]

Just remember, that if you do mess up, that you will be forgiven if you ask for forgiveness and turn away from the sin.

I'm not giving you free reign to sin, but you need to know that you will be forgiven as well. That if you mess up, that you are not excluded from the Kingdom of Heaven just because you mess up.

It's the Superbowl and before the big game, the coach is giving his team a pep talk ...

Today's the big day, men. Remember everything I taught you. Your training has left nothing to be desired. If you do what you're supposed to do, when you're supposed to do it, there's no reason why we can't leave this stadium victorious.

Take a look around the room. Everyone here has battled through adversity to reach this point. You can have faith in the guys beside you. Every one of them is going to try as hard as they can to play to the best of their ability.

I have the utmost confidence in you!

Oh, um, just in case you lose, it's ok. You will all be alive tomorrow, with plenty of money in your bank accounts.

Now, get out there and fight!!!

....................................

Somewhat underwhelming.

 

[iambren]

Masturbation is a good way to alleviate your sexual urges. Also be careful to not let yourself be alone with a guy where you could makeout leading to sex. This IS hard, especially in the teen years. We usually hear it from the guys; thank you for acknowledging that girls struggle too.

 

[BornAgainGrace414]

Masturbation is a good way to alleviate your sexual urges. Also be careful to not let yourself be alone with a guy where you could makeout leading to sex. This IS hard, especially in the teen years. We usually hear it from the guys; thank you for acknowledging that girls struggle too.

I've been under the impression that masturbation is not acceptable in God's eyes.
I'm a college student, young male who was used to having sex but now have taken up my cross.
Although difficult, I have been able to defeat the temptation to touch (so far) by asking Jesus for strength when I am feeling urges.
I just don't see Him doing it, or calling it 'clean' or 'pure'.

 

[Cupis]

Masturbation is a good way to alleviate your sexual urges

BornAgain, I think what he was saying is that Masturbation will make your Sexual urges worse.... not that it is good

 

[iambren]

No, I meant what I said. As long as it doesn't become an addictive thing mb is a legitimate release from sexual tension.

I'll leave it at that to not hijack this thread over the merits/demerits of mb.

 

[hedrick]

I've been under the impression that masturbation is not acceptable in God's eyes.
I'm a college student, young male who was used to having sex but now have taken up my cross.
Although difficult, I have been able to defeat the temptation to touch (so far) by asking Jesus for strength when I am feeling urges.
I just don't see Him doing it, or calling it 'clean' or 'pure'.

There are many threads in this group and others about this. Opinion here seems to be about 50/50. The Bible doesn't treat it directly. The main question for me is whether it is "lust". A lot of people say it's just physical release for them, no lustful thoughts are involved. Others say that's impossible, it's lust inherently.

There's enough threads on this anyway. I suggest looking at one of the existing ones.

 

[redeemedbychrist]

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8 KJV

When these thoughts come to mind ask your self is it truthful? Is it honest? Is it righteous? Is it pure?
Remind yourself of verses in scripture like
We are told "be ye holy for I am holy"
And anyother verse that you love think about it. And the thoughts will go away

 

[Jonathan95]

No, I meant what I said. As long as it doesn't become an addictive thing mb is a legitimate release from sexual tension.

I'll leave it at that to not hijack this thread over the merits/demerits of mb.

Masturbation is sin. I got convicted by doing it, and I'd get convicted if I'd do it. I got sad like a whole day when I did it, maybe even depressed.

It opens doors to sexual thoughts/sexual temptations.

Watch this:

[youtube]583aZdjisS8[/youtube]