@MARY/katerinah1947
Thank you, I feel like someone is listening to me and my pain.
I wish that I didn't have doubts. I wish I had faith and trust strong enough to move mountains. But I don't. It is not that I don't want to. I don't know how. No one has ever shown me HOW to have that kind of faith. How do you build faith and trust in God, when all you have seen is heartbreak and turmoil. It sounds blasphemous, but don't you have to earn trust/faith? Why doesn't God have to earn it with me? I know, I know, how dare I say that! But that is how I feel. I don't know where to start in building a relationship, when I am so mad/disappointed in Him. My past is full of darkness and my future is looking none too bright. As I said before, I'm tired. I know I need help but I really can't afford it, plus I can't get away from feeling that more medical help is not trusting in God. I'm tired. I'm so tired. Someone please help me. Tell me how to get on your level. I don't know how. I don't know what to do. I'm tired. Please, please somebody, please...
It appears that you have depression along with PTSD. I suggest counseling and medical intervention so you can delight again in your relationship with the Lord.
You have no idea how much relief this brings. Your post is exactly what I'm dealing with almost two years later.I need some sincere help and direction. I went through a really traumatic experience for 2 years. I have PTSD from it. Going through this turmoil, I had so much faith! I prayed and talked to Him daily. I always kept telling myself that He would help me through. Nothing could shake my faith then.
This is strange that I had so much faith through the event, was removed from it and am now very apathetic.
Late last year, I was removed from this situation. Then afterwards, the doubts about God’s love for me started to creep in. I had some setbacks in life and I became literally furious with God/Jesus. I was so mad at Him, that it scared me. I have never been that mad with anyone before. I was thinking to myself, I have been through all of this in my life (the 2 year traumatic event), I prayed through it, and now You are just going to leave and forget about me? Really, God? I felt like as much as I held on through that, He could help me more. My reasoning was, You are doing this to me again after our relationship.
This year has been no different. I am not an atheist, I know God exists. However, I am apathetic toward Him now. Before my decline in faith, I repeatedly prayed and prayed and prayed for change. It seemed like it fell on death ears. There was no response. There is still no response. It has been almost a year since this traumatic experience ended and I am still in a troubling predicament. Granted my situation now is nowhere near the PTSD inducing trauma I went through, but still, I feel left out to dry.
My current thought process is: perhaps I was created by Him just to be hated. Much like, Judas, the Pharaoh in Egypt, Jezebel, and Goliath to name a few. I feel like He couldn’t possibly care less about me anymore, He hasn’t answered any prayers. I just cannot bring myself to talk to Him anymore. About what? He has made it loud and clear where He stands in my life. Nowhere. Yet, how could He create me and knowing that He would not love me? I don’t know or understand.
I spoke to other people of faith and they tell me to pray. Well, Biblically I cannot pray to Him if I have not faith in Him! That surely won’t work. And I surely have no faith or trust left.
What do I do?
*I promise I am not being snarky; however, Bible quotes aren’t helping. I know the Bible very well from my faith days. I was heavy into Biblical history, apologetics, archeology, devotions, discussion, etc.*
This is the worst thing to anyone," what does god owe you?" uh how about his promises? And this woman begged for help...so please stop.Perhaps the problem is not Gods failure to listen to you, but your failure to listen to Him. What does God owe you? What do you owe to God?
How can God, who is Love hate you?
Go to girls ask guys. you find the answers and can ask questions. hope to see you there soon.I need some sincere help and direction. I went through a really traumatic experience for 2 years. I have PTSD from it. Going through this turmoil, I had so much faith! I prayed and talked to Him daily. I always kept telling myself that He would help me through. Nothing could shake my faith then.
This is strange that I had so much faith through the event, was removed from it and am now very apathetic.
Late last year, I was removed from this situation. Then afterwards, the doubts about God’s love for me started to creep in. I had some setbacks in life and I became literally furious with God/Jesus. I was so mad at Him, that it scared me. I have never been that mad with anyone before. I was thinking to myself, I have been through all of this in my life (the 2 year traumatic event), I prayed through it, and now You are just going to leave and forget about me? Really, God? I felt like as much as I held on through that, He could help me more. My reasoning was, You are doing this to me again after our relationship.
This year has been no different. I am not an atheist, I know God exists. However, I am apathetic toward Him now. Before my decline in faith, I repeatedly prayed and prayed and prayed for change. It seemed like it fell on death ears. There was no response. There is still no response. It has been almost a year since this traumatic experience ended and I am still in a troubling predicament. Granted my situation now is nowhere near the PTSD inducing trauma I went through, but still, I feel left out to dry.
My current thought process is: perhaps I was created by Him just to be hated. Much like, Judas, the Pharaoh in Egypt, Jezebel, and Goliath to name a few. I feel like He couldn’t possibly care less about me anymore, He hasn’t answered any prayers. I just cannot bring myself to talk to Him anymore. About what? He has made it loud and clear where He stands in my life. Nowhere. Yet, how could He create me and knowing that He would not love me? I don’t know or understand.
I spoke to other people of faith and they tell me to pray. Well, Biblically I cannot pray to Him if I have not faith in Him! That surely won’t work. And I surely have no faith or trust left.
What do I do?
*I promise I am not being snarky; however, Bible quotes aren’t helping. I know the Bible very well from my faith days. I was heavy into Biblical history, apologetics, archeology, devotions, discussion, etc.*
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