I don't trust people

[LoricaLady]

Is it wrong to not trust people any more? I have closed my heart to human beings because I no longer trust them. I don't trust the motivation of other believers. When a Christian is telling, for example, that I am wrong, even if they maybe right, I don't trust that they have my best interest. They are only interested in making themselves look more righteous and holy. That is how I feel sometimes.

I am hardly around other Christians, for I don't fellowship with a congregation. And most of my friends are not even Christians. Mind you, I have very very little friends. And I just choose to stream my sermons. But the Christians I have known in the past have told that I was wrong and I shouldn't doing this or that, or I should be doing this or that. I got really angry because I did not ask them and because I don't want mere human beings correct me. I prefer that just the Bible correcting me.

But I still come on here and ask questions because I do want to know. I have in the past got offensive because some of the answers are things I did not want to hear. But I am learning to adapt to that.

So the question is, is it wrong that I have chosen not to trust people, even those who are believers? I can handle asking questions online, but I can't handle talking to people one-on-one offline. The Bible tells us to confess our sins one to another, but I do not trust that other believers will not condemn me.

Maybe it is not just an issue of trust, but of unforgiveness. From things you have said in past posts, you have been very hurt by family and those in the Church, probably others. You have some disabilities and the very sad truth is that those with disabilities are more likely to suffer abuse than those without them. So they get a double dose of suffering.

I would start to practice turning your mind away from thoughts about those who have hurt you, about any negative feelings at all, and drench your mind in the Word and ongoing informal conversation with the Lord, as well as "formal" praise and prayer. This will help you get into His Presence and that is where healing is. I pray for that to happen for you. It takes practice over time!

Here are some resources I have personally found useful to speak or sing along with.

In Psalm 1, and other places in the Bible, we are told that those who meditate on the Word day and night will be blessed in all they do. Forget about those who have hurt you. You can do nothing to change them. Anger is bad for our health. But the Bible is "life to those who find it and health to all their flesh."

Psalms sung by Sons of Korah. Soothing.
sons of korah - YouTube

Integrity Music's Scripture-only songs on a great many verses. The verses are usually about 3 to a song with repetition to get them down into your mind and heart.
integrity music scripture songs - YouTube

Jump Start 3 - peppy and youthful Bible verse songs.
jump start 3 music - YouTube

Bible promises and wisdom verses. You can say them as you go about your daily activities, not feeling that you have to repeat every word on them, just saying them as it is practical to do so while they play in the background. These are called verses to play with sleep but are good for any time.
Peaceful Scriptures

There are many resources like those shown above, this is just a sampling.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Is it wrong to not trust people any more? I have closed my heart to human beings because I no longer trust them. I don't trust the motivation of other believers. When a Christian is telling, for example, that I am wrong, even if they maybe right, I don't trust that they have my best interest. They are only interested in making themselves look more righteous and holy. That is how I feel sometimes.

I am hardly around other Christians, for I don't fellowship with a congregation. And most of my friends are not even Christians. Mind you, I have very very little friends. And I just choose to stream my sermons. But the Christians I have known in the past have told that I was wrong and I shouldn't doing this or that, or I should be doing this or that. I got really angry because I did not ask them and because I don't want mere human beings correct me. I prefer that just the Bible correcting me.

But I still come on here and ask questions because I do want to know. I have in the past got offensive because some of the answers are things I did not want to hear. But I am learning to adapt to that.

So the question is, is it wrong that I have chosen not to trust people, even those who are believers? I can handle asking questions online, but I can't handle talking to people one-on-one offline. The Bible tells us to confess our sins one to another, but I do not trust that other believers will not condemn me.

Hey Jesse,

When I was in 4th grade I learned pretty quickly that people can be evil for no good reason at all, even if I did everything I could to avoid it. To this day I don't trust people overall, it is super hard to care about the people around me even though I am suppose to "love my neighbor". Then things change, I received my salvation and just like you I feel more comfortable sharing my journey with my fight with sin online than in person. I been fortunate to met true believers that actually cared about my walk and I met people frustrated me that they were even in the church.

Realistically the church is full of sinners, and we are sinners at the root of our soul till the day we leave this earth. Some have been softened in their hearts because of the pain and trials they been thru. Many including myself fall into the trap of trying to remove the speck in their brother's eye, but totally ignorateof the tree in their own.

It was a brother in Christ that I first hated in our church group for getting in my face about things, to challenge my beliefs. I wanted to leave the church group so many times. Finally the Lord humbled me, to help me see what a religious monster I become. I am so thankful for my brother for what he did for me, and the gifting that God gave him in the body of Christ. I became his encourager after that, doing my part to remind him it was OK to be the person who goes against the grain of things.

This comes to the main thing I want to share with you. My wife and I lost our church, and just like you we stream valuable teachings, lectures, and sermons from our beloved teaching ministry. They gave a series on the Church, and thru it we were convicted to go back to the church on some level. God never designed his church, the set apart ones, to be isolated and separated. Each one of us are a part of a greator whole, and we are meant to serve, learn, and worship together. Please don't give up on the church, take your time and let the Lord reveal the next place of learning he wants to put you.

 

[ChicanaRose]

And most of my friends are not even Christians.

I would not become too dependent on non-Christians regardless of my experience with other Christians ("Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" 2 Cor. 6:14).

I know you are on a hiatus for now, and that's okay. Just take it slow in moving towards resuming fellowship with other believers.

 

[Dropout_Theologian]

I don't trust people. I know myself; the destruction of sin, demon worship, lusts that could fill a textbook. I'm just beginning to be a profitable member of society. This doesn't mean I can't love people, just that I have to keep in mind what people are like. Jesus knew what people were like; he didn't need anyone to testify what was in man for he knew man. People will rebuke and, the rebuke may be immature, or self-seeking, but you and me both should find the good in the rebuke, and even be glad and thankful, like a wise man would. It's something I need to work on personally.

 

[aiki]

Is it wrong to not trust people any more? I have closed my heart to human beings because I no longer trust them.

If you're a child of God, if you're a disciple of Christ, a Christian, how is this okay? What if God made the decision you have toward you? He certainly has had good cause to do so. He has good reason to shut all of us out. Godly love, though, keeps the heart open - even when it hurts to do so.

1 John 4:7-11
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.
10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

When a Christian is telling, for example, that I am wrong, even if they maybe right, I don't trust that they have my best interest.

Maybe they don't. But how does this make the right things they are saying to you wrong? If Hitler said to you, "2+2=4," would he be wrong because he's a genocidal maniac who'd like to stuff you in an oven and burn you to ash? No. The truth is the truth no matter who says it.

They are only interested in making themselves look more righteous and holy. That is how I feel sometimes.

I think we all have at times.

I am hardly around other Christians, for I don't fellowship with a congregation. And most of my friends are not even Christians.

This is a recipe for spiritual and moral disaster. And it makes you very easy prey for the devil.

But the Christians I have known in the past have told that I was wrong and I shouldn't doing this or that, or I should be doing this or that. I got really angry because I did not ask them and because I don't want mere human beings correct me. I prefer that just the Bible correcting me.

Well, who enjoys being told they are wrong and need to change? No one I know of. But we all need to hear this when we are, in fact, going off the rails. It's when we close off all avenues through which others might point out our blind spots and challenge our sin that we get into really serious trouble. This is why a man who has made himself an island quickly becomes a very dark and strange person. God intends His children to be "members one of another" and to act in community with one another in part to prevent this from happening.

But I still come on here and ask questions because I do want to know. I have in the past got offensive because some of the answers are things I did not want to hear. But I am learning to adapt to that.

You show wisdom in doing so, I think.

So the question is, is it wrong that I have chosen not to trust people, even those who are believers? I can handle asking questions online, but I can't handle talking to people one-on-one offline. The Bible tells us to confess our sins one to another, but I do not trust that other believers will not condemn me.

Loving people doesn't require that you trust them. But it does require that you engage with them, despite their selfishness and faults. We've all got our nasty spots, you see.

 

[Kaon]

Is it wrong to not trust people any more? I have closed my heart to human beings because I no longer trust them. I don't trust the motivation of other believers. When a Christian is telling, for example, that I am wrong, even if they maybe right, I don't trust that they have my best interest. They are only interested in making themselves look more righteous and holy. That is how I feel sometimes.

I am hardly around other Christians, for I don't fellowship with a congregation. And most of my friends are not even Christians. Mind you, I have very very little friends. And I just choose to stream my sermons. But the Christians I have known in the past have told that I was wrong and I shouldn't doing this or that, or I should be doing this or that. I got really angry because I did not ask them and because I don't want mere human beings correct me. I prefer that just the Bible correcting me.

But I still come on here and ask questions because I do want to know. I have in the past got offensive because some of the answers are things I did not want to hear. But I am learning to adapt to that.

So the question is, is it wrong that I have chosen not to trust people, even those who are believers? I can handle asking questions online, but I can't handle talking to people one-on-one offline. The Bible tells us to confess our sins one to another, but I do not trust that other believers will not condemn me.

Simply, no - it isn't wrong. The Most High God told us to be as wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. He also demands you put your entire trust in Him - not humans who lie, kill, steal, covet or have letters in front of or behind their names (academics). You do that at the risk of your own sovereign thought and freedom as an individual.

Put all trust in the Most High God, not a man.

 

[A Realist]

So the question is, is it wrong that I have chosen not to trust people, even those who are believers?

Nope, it ain't wrong. If you get burned enough times, you tend to stay away from the fire. I generally don't trust people until I know how they operate. Christian, non-Christian...it don't matter. For some reason, some folks think non-Christians don't have any scruples, and I've met far too many Christians that seem not to have any, either.

 

[Introverted1293]

The heart of sin is pricked by truth.
If someone judges you righteously, it's good to learn and reprove yourself. It's a struggle for those with a prideful mind.
Jesus says, "I rebuke and chasten those who I love".
Definitely some people judge in a game of spiritual one-upmanship. I will admit, it takes a hold of me sometimes as well, and I need to reprove myself.
I would say it is wrong to not trust a Christian. Because if a spiritual man full of the Holy Spirit judges you for reproof, and you don't trust his judgement, then you will stay in your sin.
How will you ever become perfect in God, if you can't accept all criticism. If someone judges you, and their judgement is true, then you should accept it.
If you trust in God's judgment, but not if that judgement comes from man, then that is the work of pride. God resists the proud.
I may be wrong, keep that in mind. But it's for Christians to keep each other upright, but for yourself to be righteous.

I understand what you saying. My heart gets harden sometimes. Thank you

 

[Introverted1293]

We are to allow the Holy Spirit to be our teacher and our guide. I believe the atonement is two fold. Jesus died to reconcile us with the father and he also died to reconcile us with each other. I raised my son to develop good communication skills with people. So he gets along well with others. That does not mean he trusts them. Working on and developing good people skills I think is important in life for our own feeling of self worth. Although some people are happy and content to spend time alone. We are living stones in the temple of God. Still we are told that the stones were hammered and shaped in the quarry. So when they built the temple everything was ready to assemble. So God does work on us as an individual, even though we are a part of the Church.

Thank you very much.

 

[Introverted1293]

The Holy Spirit will show who is legit and who isn't.


.

I probably need to pray more.

 

[Introverted1293]

Its understandable
God bless you and guide you.

Thank you for understanding.

 

[Introverted1293]

"And let us

• consider one another in order to
• stir up love and good works,
• not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but
• exhorting one another,

and so much the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25 NKJV

(You can't do that as a "lone wolf.")

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Proverbs 27:6 NKJV

Thank you very much

 

[Introverted1293]

recently I trusted a person because of them being an expert in their field & because they're Christian

turns out they gave bad advice

learned that just because someone is Christian, doesn't mean they'll give one good advice especially if their goal is to make money/they're a sales type person

even though this happened, would say that in the future I'll still give people a chance but will be more cautious and not assume because they're Christian they know best

Thank you very much.

 

[Introverted1293]

OP, also a real friend and a real Christian won't sugar coat the truth when you need to hear it, but hopefully they won't be a jerk about it either though. lol


Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
• Proverbs 27:6



.

I can't argue with that.

 

[Introverted1293]

Yeah, u r right. U can't trust everybody. So how can u find out whom u can trust? When u r in distress u can see who will rush 2 ur aid. Recently my family went through a horrible time & my own blood brother had no compassion at all & didn't do a thing. It was others, friends & a relative who rushed to our aid & bcoz of them we r okay now.

Hey, my family is in the same situation. My dad just died, and my mom's kids acted selfishly towards her. And because I stood up for my mom, I lost relationships with them.

 

[Introverted1293]

Hello Introverted, It can be hard to trust people, I dont blame you and to be honest I don't think there is any person I would trust 100% including myself because all are sinners and even with the best intentions we can let someone down.

My trust is really in God alone because I know He is truly the One who will never let us down.
So don't be too hard on yourself, you do have friends here, brothers and sisters in Christ and most importantly you love God, you want to know Him more and He will NEVER let you down.

I even have a hard time trusting in God. Scripture tells us that not everyone who calls him Lord, Lord shall be saved. It is the reason why I will always fear his wrath and punishment no matter how much I call upon his name.

 

[Introverted1293]

Psalms 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Thank you

This is still hard to do

 

[Introverted1293]

People are no longer trust worthy. Sadly that includes a lot of Christians.

Thank you for understanding.

 

[Introverted1293]

I would recommend you plug yourself into a house church or home bible study and be consistent with attending. Community is the glue of the church and we should not isolate ourselves, doing so will inevitably shift your Theological thinking into whatever flavour feels right because it will be unchallenged and this is dangerous.

We need people and our faith needs community. I recommend a house church or home bible study because they are small and intimate. You can't hide in them but you also are not left out and develop real relationships with a small group who will knows your name, your joys, your struggles and how to pray and encourage you.

Lone remote islands develop unique echo systems that can't be supported anywhere else, don't go so far from the mainland that you are no longer compatible with it. Losing trust with the world, everyone is wrong but you... these are signs you're going too far, try and come back.

I hope I am not developing the attitude that everyone is wrong but me. I don't think I have that attitude. But I can understand why it appears that way.

 

[Introverted1293]

I struggle with this, too. I think we can Trust God though and it's great you are still staying connected to God even though you are not fellowshipping anyway. Be assured that God can be trusted. Non-christians, and even Christians will fail us.

I am sure you are right.