I can’t let go – need help

[HMSSydney]

I am a 22 y.o. and today I got to the point where I cannot take this anymore. I have now been struggling for more than a year with this issue, I have never had a serious relationship in my life and up until last year I was not worried at all because I knew that the Lord would give me a wife “when the time is right” Up to that point in my life I had realized that I self-sufficient, just me and the Lord - I never-ever felt lonely. I should also mention that I had actually prayed for my spouse in detail as I was told to do, things about her character, religious aspects and even physical aspects.

Things have now changed, I met someone about a year ago. At the time I was SO sure that she was an answered prayer and I was so happy, everything was going so well, things had meaning, the Lord up to that point was my best friend but he had now become my hero, the mighty God of Jacob, Abraham and David has answered my 6 if not more year old prayer in detail, character-wise, physical aspects and even that lovely english-accent. Things went ok for a while, we become friends but then the unthinkable happened, things turned ugly, things were said, she did not want a relationship (or maybe did not want me) our characters were tested and things went nowhere. She went back to her home-country and I was left just hanging there like a dirty old mop.

Things have changed, I never fully recovered from that experience, and i simply cannot let go of her, it hurts too much, at times I simply cannot believe what God has promised me, he is not my best friend anymore, he’s just God, my relationship with him weakened, I should also mention that I’m in part of active church ministry and things are not going so well there either. I now hate to see couples or married people because everything reminds me of her (lets call her ‘S’), I get jealous of everyone in an active relationship and I wonder why hasn’t God done anything yet.
I used to be a happy guy, worry-free individual and a seeker of God’s face. Everything reminds me of her, even the most stupid thing like streets, sounds, words, feelings, some foods. I got to the point where I don’t even want to go to church because most of my good friends are married and I get jealous. I have prayed to hear from God, if I could just hear “Your wife is in my hand” would be enough but I hear nothing. God seems so distant, I doubt if he listens to my prayer, I am so angry and disappointed in him.

‘S’ turned my life upside down and at times I wish I had never met her, maybe we’ll end up together one day, maybe not but I cannot keep living like this anymore, I am so depressed, I am even crying now (I am a guy – I shouldn’t ) I cant see the bright side of life, I simply cannot make God fill my deepest needs. It was hard to write this but I guess I poured out my heart, no-one know about this and everyone thinks I am the same good-old-guy. Please help me – I cant take it anymore.

 

[Gentileone]

Well first it is ok to cry,

I would like to know who told you to pray for a wife in detail, character,shape etc.
That to me sounds far from biblical as a duck swimming in the sand.

Also here the catch the devil can see your weekness and also hear your prayers when you speak out loud, to me you you have been setup for a great fall.
And you have.
No where in the bible that i can remember anyone asking for a wife in detail like you have, Infact God knows you better and can give you a perfect match, which could be the oppisite to what you think it is.
So who ever told you to pray for a wife like that is not being scriptual at all!

So i hate to be blunt but straight away you have been led of the rails.
Once you can see what really happened then you can start back on the that narrow road, remember the devils plan is to get you far away from God as he can.
Looks like his plan is working so far!

But you can change all this.
Sure you can pray for a wife, car etc but in detail is a snare.
God knows exactly what is the best for you.
Let me tell you that you do not have to take this any more.
You can beat this by turning back to God and asking for forgiveness and more wisdom not to be fooled again by the devil, forgive the woman and also the person who told you to do it.
Then just keep being God centered, focus on God all the time,
This is not what God desires for you, this what the devil desires for you .
But by God's help he can change all this around but first you must be able to see the sin that has accured, repent , forgive and open yourself back up to God and let God's will be done and not your's.
Unfortuantly you have been decieved and so are many others but the important thing to remember it is a learning exeperience for you that mayby will help one or many not to fall into the same trap.

I do hope i have encourage you to keep marching on and not to give up the good fight, the devil might have look like he has won a battle but he will not ever win the war, amen

Feel free to contact me or pm anytime

God Bless

 

[mark2]

HMSSydney I'd just like to say that I agree with Gentileone.
But also, you are only 22; give yourself a chance!
Also I've heard that teaching about praying in detail for what you want. I read it years ago in a book by, if I remember rightly, Pastor Yonggi Cho of South Korea. God has undoubtedly greatly blessed the church in S Korea, but that bit of teaching is wrong. God is not our servant, we are His servants. That means we seek to do His will - seek first His kingdon (His rule in our lives and on earth) and all else shall be added (Matthew chapter 6, verse 33). You do God's business and He'll look after you.
Right now you probably feel like a punch bag with the stuffing knocked out! Be patient with yourself (easy to say, I know), and with God. He does care and knows best. He sees the end from the beginning, and the end will make it worthwhile; for now stay faithful and persevere to that end.

 

[stuss73]

Bro i know what u what u r sayying ...it hurts ....im finding it hard right now myself.. let me tell u about myself ... im 32... and ive been sinlge 4 ummmm some time now . Ive pray about it soo much over the years ... It hurts me sooo much when i also see others around me .. with some1 as well ... Reading your thread as ...well open my eyes knowing im not alone ...with this thing..... thanks 4 being open ..hang in there ..mate ...cause im im just as much frighting this thing as u r...

 

[HMSSydney]

Hi brothers and sisters in Christ, I suppose one of the most important things in life is knowing that my family is not limited to a blood-link but being a son of the Almighty I have all of you to lean on when I am weak, I realize that I have somewhat being set up by the devil as I was told, I have realized that one of my biggest fears is to be alone in life and not find that special someone that everyone seems to find. I pray and pray day and night and ask the Lord to give me someone to love and care for and also to hold, respect and understand. I know for a fact that I am going to find someone, I might find her tomorrow or in 5 years, she might live around the corner or she might come from the other side of the world. All I know is that with the tiny bit of faith that I have left in me I know in my spirit that God is faithful, and he will never let me down. Lately, I have not only failed myself but I have failed God, may He have mercy on me and forgive me for being so ungrateful, all the things that I have, health, strength, life, I can walk, I can see, I can hear, I have all the material things I could ever ask for, I have a family who loves me, Christian and non-christian friends who care for me, a country that supports me and I belong to the family of the one and only mighty God. I don’t really deserve anything that I have because I am nothing but the Lord has had mercy on me.

I pray and I will keep praying for that special someone, I know she is out there someone cos I can feel it, God is so awesome and I don’t even know what I am writing this but I just want to tell the world that I love Jesus and I have put my trust is in him, circumstances change but the Lord never changes, this has been a wake up call for me and I believe the Lord is calling me to greater things, I don’t know what yet but I have passed through the valley and now I can see hope over the mountain.

It’s also a huge relief to know that I am not alone in this thing, many other guys and maybe girls are going through the same trial, it makes me feel really good because it means that I am not some weird, dumb, freak of nature as I though I was.

It is thanks to Him and other people including all of you I am now on my way up, thank you all for your support, I wish I could give you all a hug and a kiss and send you all an email and say how grateful I am.



God Bless, HMSSydney

 

[trust_faith]

actually I am also facing the same problem as you. I am looking out for the one that God has given me... wonder when is it going to come...