I am kinda' scared

[superdave]

I know God has someone for me... I know it... But I just can't seem to find anyone. And when a girl does like me or whatever, I just HAVE no intrest whatsoever in them.... I don't know what's wrong with that. I mean they aren't ugly girls, a lot of them ARE PRETTY. But I just don't seem to go for them. But I DO want to be with someone... I don't know what's wrong with me in this area. Is this God- or is this something I need to be concerned about?

 

[ArmyForOne]

Man! I know exactly what you mean. I've decided not to worry about it. I'm 19 and have never had a serious relationship with a girl and now there is this girl that has a "thing" for me. She's physically attractive but her spiritual life has left much to be desired. It is possible that God has put this girl in my life for a reason...not for a relationship with me, but with Him.

 

[ms_lizzie]

You guys both realize that you are young? Most do not marry until their latter 20's, especially men. The challenge is do live well between now and then. Besides, most of the people I know who got married at 18-20 are divorced, depressed, or seriously socially maladjusted.

 

[ArmyForOne]

Good call. I don't want to get married now anyways. I have too much to do, to little time, and too little money for marriage. And many people married in mid to latter 20's met around 19 or 20, so I dont see much of an arguement for most people not to have a dating relationship at my age. Like I said, I'm not worrying about it. God does have a plan.

 

[superdave]

I don't necessarly want to marry now. But I have NEVER had a serious relationship with anyone. And... It looks pretty hopeless that I will. It's ok though- God knows what he is doing, If it's will that he doesn't want it in my life-right now- it's ok.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Dave,

A friend of mine tried setting me up with her cousin. Her cousin was very good looking, but I had zero interest in her. We made absolutely no connection. I could have forced it and gone on a date with her, but that would have been stupid and pointless. I had a relationship in high school that was not honoring to God. After that I was single for four or five years before dating again. Towards the end of my single years, I asked out probably four girls on a date. All four turned me down. Now, these were all nice girls who were friends of mine, who told me I was a great guy, etc. Yet, none of them would give me the time of day. After being patient through that, I finally got together with someone who could not be more perfect for me. So stop worrying about it, your day will come. In the mean time, seek first the kingdom, and all that other stuff will be added to you.

 

[desi]

Dave, you have to decide what kind of women you like and go where they go to find them. You won't find filet mignon at burger king.

 

[Cherberrie]

Dave, you have to decide what kind of women you like and go where they go to find them. You won't find filet mignon at burger king.

So what should you do if steaks are hard to come by, yet there's a BK on every corner? I'm sick of flat burgers.

 

[desi]

So what should you do if steaks are hard to come by, yet there's a BK on every corner? I'm sick of flat burgers.

Go to the ritzy part of town.

 

[superdave]

You know I am like that now on EVERYTHING- I am like I AM SICK OF THE SAME OLD, SAME OLD. I want something new, something I haven't experienced over and over and over. It's not just girls- IT'S EVERYTHING- I mean EVERYTHING. It's just a stage I am going through... I guess.

 

[Wypadek]

my suggestion: pray

 

[OrderMySteps]

About that serious relationship I didn't have my first until I was 19 years old. We're still together now, and all I can tell you is to just give it some time God has a plan.

 

[Risen Tree]

superdave, are there any prospects in your youth group at all?

 

[cutekid 4 Jesus]

Good call. I don't want to get married now anyways. I have too much to do, to little time, and too little money for marriage. And many people married in mid to latter 20's met around 19 or 20, so I dont see much of an arguement for most people not to have a dating relationship at my age. Like I said, I'm not worrying about it. God does have a plan.

I can see why you might MEET someone at 20 and marry 5-10 years later but i dont think its necessary to date from 20 then marry as much as 10 years later,i think dating.courting shouldnt be such a long period,nor engagement. I think if you intend to marry that age you probably shouldnt get romantically engaged so early...but you may as well keep your eyes open who knows when God wants to put your future spouse into your life.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Hang in there dude. It'll happen.

 

[superdave]

I don't really know if there is any prospects b/c I haven't looked. There is one girl I'd like to hang out w/... and try something- But I really don't know how to approach it- I mean... I have said a few words to her- we had a small conversation. My pastor, thinks that me and her should hit something off- but I can't just go up to her and say, "Hey wanna' go out on a date with me?" or is that the wise thing to do?

And there is another girl I like- but nothing will happen. Because my friend likes her too... I'd date her in a heartbeat... But that's about it...

I just don't want to get down in this new area- and just be a hermit and be alone- I WANT SOME SOCIALIZATION... but I don't know how to approach it.

 

[Stanfi]

Dave,

Don't panick God knows the desires of you heart. Put him first in your life, and he will fill the desires of your heart. Just talk to him..... he understands everthing.

As far as being 19, and not in a serious relationship. Don't worry about that either.. I've never been in 'serious' one myself. Every gal that I've met who I've liked, never reciprocated the same feelings. Usually leaving me with a very "smashed" feeling. I've already decided, God has plan for me, I've decide to start going with His plan, because mine sure hasn't been working out to well. Anyway, trust me you are young, and in 10 years 29 or 30 won't seem that old to you anyway.

 

[superdave]

I am not really panicing... I am just looking at a lot of things- I mean, I Don't want to go into my calling alone. I want a girl, that has the same heart and calling as I do. And I am hoping to find it. But I just haven't seen anything. I know I am young. But you know as well as I do, life is short- things pass. And I don't want this to pass from me. That's all... that I am worried about.

 

[desi]

I am not really panicing... I am just looking at a lot of things- I mean, I Don't want to go into my calling alone. I want a girl, that has the same heart and calling as I do. And I am hoping to find it. But I just haven't seen anything. I know I am young. But you know as well as I do, life is short- things pass. And I don't want this to pass from me. That's all... that I am worried about.

Dave you have to open your mouth and start talking to women. If you wait for God to throw a suitable one on your lap you'll be waiting a looong time. Go talk to the girls you like, and some who like you that you don't care much for to build confidence and make connections. And if your friend likes a girl; so what, who says she is for him? She may be for you. Throw caution to the wind and start talking. If other areas of your life are getting old look for opportunities to change things. Sometimes God will give you opportunities which are not obivous, a flyer you read, a friend asking you out when you're bored, seeing a "help wanted" sign somewhere you might enjoy working. The key to all of these is getting off your butt and checking them out to see what's up. God will meet you more than half way if you are observant and active.

 

[OnceDust]

You know Dave, one thing I want very much in life is to have kids. I have to be mairried to do that. I can tell you that this desire is very strong in me, so I chose to work with kids for a living. God took a desire and blessed it because it is my calling.

In retrospect, I have a lot of freedom being single. I dont think I could go on the trips I take every summer or hang out and be there for a lot of the kids I mentor, or even have much time with my friends if I did date seriously.

Also, if we are to believe that Christ lived life to the fullest a human could, we have to understand that mairrage is not required to make that happen. For all that Christ did on this Earth, 2 things he did not was get mairried and have sex. WE are his bride. In so symbolizing that, I wear a ring that says I'm already taken. One day, perhaps, God will provide me an earthly wife and he may provide you one.

But being single has its perks too, because we have the freedom to be totally commited to Him! Easier said that done, but dude, I'm 27, and I find more joy in keeping in His service that mairrage becomes a second priority. I have a relative who didnt get mairried until she was nearly 40. yeah yeah, I know. She and her husband adopted a few kids, and it was like they'd been a family for 15 years.

You're not missing anything by waiting. You are missing out if you keep God waiting though. Let that be your priority, and through relationships you make, the one that was intended will come along. Good luck and God bless.