I am an Agnostic/Buddhist who attends a Methodist church. If they found out, what would they think?

[mrscott1026]

So. I've been Agnostic my entire adult life. In 2009 I started following the path of Buddhism, which does not believe or disbelieve in any God. Since 2010, I have been attending churches with my family (My fiancee and now 3 children). We used to go to one church, we will call it SC, from around 2010-2014. Now since 2014 we have been going to another church, let's call it HC. The churches are both Methodist and are considered "sister churches", and lots of the members from each church know members at the other church.

Around 2012, at SC, my Sunday school class did a study on Christianity and World religions. I decided to teach the lesson on Buddhism. In the process I also "came out of the closet" to my Sunday school class. I was scared, and wasn't sure what they would think... But you know what, they were really nice and supportive. I was surprised, and it was cool. However, this was just a small group of about 8 people. I'm not really sure if word spread to the rest of the church. (Small church where around 60 people show up every week). We never really talked about it much after that. What do you think, did word spread?

Anyway, at the new church, HC, I am getting more active and actually play percussion every week during service. This church is slightly larger with about 80 people who show up every week.

I have never officially come out of the closet at HC, and I am scared to do so. What will they think? Will they not like me any more? Will they want me to stop playing the percussion?

My other question is: Since many of the people at both churches know each other, what is the percent chance that most everybody at HC already knows about me anyway?

And do I need to come out of the closet at HC? If so, when, where and how? Would it be appropriate for me to do a "testimonial" of sorts?

Thanks for your advice and wisdom.

Peace
Scott

 

[Gordon Wright]

Uh... why were you going to these churches anyway?

You can't untangle a dilemma without being clear what it is you want to accomplish.

 

[grandvizier1006]

So. I've been Agnostic my entire adult life. In 2009 I started following the path of Buddhism, which does not believe or disbelieve in any God. Since 2010, I have been attending churches with my family (My fiancee and now 3 children). We used to go to one church, we will call it SC, from around 2010-2014. Now since 2014 we have been going to another church, let's call it HC. The churches are both Methodist and are considered "sister churches", and lots of the members from each church know members at the other church.

Around 2012, at SC, my Sunday school class did a study on Christianity and World religions. I decided to teach the lesson on Buddhism. In the process I also "came out of the closet" to my Sunday school class. I was scared, and wasn't sure what they would think... But you know what, they were really nice and supportive. I was surprised, and it was cool. However, this was just a small group of about 8 people. I'm not really sure if word spread to the rest of the church. (Small church where around 60 people show up every week). We never really talked about it much after that. What do you think, did word spread?

Anyway, at the new church, HC, I am getting more active and actually play percussion every week during service. This church is slightly larger with about 80 people who show up every week.

I have never officially come out of the closet at HC, and I am scared to do so. What will they think? Will they not like me any more? Will they want me to stop playing the percussion?

My other question is: Since many of the people at both churches know each other, what is the percent chance that most everybody at HC already knows about me anyway?

And do I need to come out of the closet at HC? If so, when, where and how? Would it be appropriate for me to do a "testimonial" of sorts?

Thanks for your advice and wisdom.

Peace
Scott

Why have you been going to churches if you aren't a Christian, or never even were? There really isn't a need for you to be there, let alone "come out of the closet" (you don't need to use phrases like that to invoke sympathy). If you want to consider becoming a Christian, then you can certainly stay, but if you genuinely don't want to be a Christian and you are just going to make friends with people, then I don't see the point.

I don't say this to try and make you feel unwelcome. What I'm saying is that it doesn't make logical sense to want to be part of a explicitly religious group, and then be of a different religion as that group. The church is meant to be a gathering of Christian believers. I'm quite certain there are Budhist houses of worship to go to where you would be accepted even more socially, regardless of whether people are nice to you are not.

And frankly, I don't understand how a church would just be perfectly happy with a Budhist in their church, especially one teaching a Sunday School class. Was it just that one lesson, or have you set yourself up as a Sunday school teacher? If it's the latter than you seriously need to leave. Not because you're mean or everyone hates you, but just that it logically doesn't make sense for a person who identifies as a Budhist to be in a Christian church. forget "coming out of the closet".

Furthermore, have you said anything to your family? Do you go to church for them? You're going to need to have a serious discussion with your fiancée about this, especially if she is a Christian.

 

[talitha]

I am sad to say that this sort of thing is typical of Methodist churches, and as the daughter of a retired UMC pastor, I apologize. John Wesley would be rolling over in his grave. As Christians we are not supposed to be supportive of other religions, nor of an agnostic stance, but rather to reach out to you with love and with the gospel of Jesus Christ and pray for you to be saved. I am so sorry that your church has not done that!

 

[drstevej]

Why not talk with your current pastor and explain the situation. This way you are above board. Many churches would welcome you to attend but not to promote a faith contrary to the church's position. You would be welcome at our church upon that understanding.

 

[ViaCrucis]

So. I've been Agnostic my entire adult life. In 2009 I started following the path of Buddhism, which does not believe or disbelieve in any God. Since 2010, I have been attending churches with my family (My fiancee and now 3 children). We used to go to one church, we will call it SC, from around 2010-2014. Now since 2014 we have been going to another church, let's call it HC. The churches are both Methodist and are considered "sister churches", and lots of the members from each church know members at the other church.

Around 2012, at SC, my Sunday school class did a study on Christianity and World religions. I decided to teach the lesson on Buddhism. In the process I also "came out of the closet" to my Sunday school class. I was scared, and wasn't sure what they would think... But you know what, they were really nice and supportive. I was surprised, and it was cool. However, this was just a small group of about 8 people. I'm not really sure if word spread to the rest of the church. (Small church where around 60 people show up every week). We never really talked about it much after that. What do you think, did word spread?

Anyway, at the new church, HC, I am getting more active and actually play percussion every week during service. This church is slightly larger with about 80 people who show up every week.

I have never officially come out of the closet at HC, and I am scared to do so. What will they think? Will they not like me any more? Will they want me to stop playing the percussion?

My other question is: Since many of the people at both churches know each other, what is the percent chance that most everybody at HC already knows about me anyway?

And do I need to come out of the closet at HC? If so, when, where and how? Would it be appropriate for me to do a "testimonial" of sorts?

Thanks for your advice and wisdom.

Peace
Scott

A good and healthy church is more than willing to have non-believers visit, spend time, and even participate (at least in part) with worship. I say in part because it depends on what the church's policy is in regard to Communion, whether it is Closed or Open. For example, at my ELCA church we have a policy of Open Communion, every Sunday service when we celebrate the Lord's Supper the pastor makes an open invitation to come and partake because it is first and foremost Christ's Table, not our table. It's really then a matter of how comfortable one is communing, especially if they understand what we believe about the Sacrament (that is, we believe it to be the very real and actual flesh and blood of Jesus, we're not receiving mere bread and wine, but the Lord Jesus Himself); if one prefers they can when they go up to the altar rail ask instead to receive a blessing--nobody's gonna judge you either way.

But other Lutheran churches, such as the LCMS, have Closed Communion, technically not even I--though a Lutheran--would be allowed to commune without first having a one-on-one discussion with the pastor about it. The same, I imagine, would be true of other churches of other traditions.

But even if you can't share in the Supper at the church, most churches would be happy to have anyone really come and experience the service.

Some churches may become aggressive in their proselytizing efforts, but not all. Not all Christians have the same understanding of what evangelism is supposed to be, many understand evangelism isn't about trying to aggressively make others convert, but is instead about being open about their faith with the implicit trust that it's God who converts the heart, not people.

As far as the Methodist church you attend goes, it would seem from what you said that people there probably would be quite accepting of you. It's certainly what I believe a good church should do because I believe that represents the ministry of Christ to the world. Not aggressively proselytizing, but being emissaries of the Gospel.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[mrscott1026]

@Gordon Wright: The reason I go to church is because my fiancee is Christian. We are raising our kids Christian. It gives my family structure on Sundays. Also I respect the teachings of Christianity and believe there is a lot of wisdom in them, even though I don't believe the main part.

@grandvizier1006: I'm not against becoming a Christian. If something moves me and finally makes me believe, fine. I am not closed to it.

Re: Buddhist gathering places. There are only a few close by me, and they are all at least a 30 minute drive. One of them is in another language, Vietnamese I think. As much as I would love to go, for reasons too lengthy and complex to explain here, I simply can't.

Re: Sunday School. No no, I just taught the one lesson on Buddhism since it was something I already knew about. I am not a regular teacher.

Re: Family. My Fiancee and I have known each other for 14 years, and she has known since week one that I am agnostic. She thinks me finding Buddhism was a good thing.

@drstevej: I talked once with the pastor about 5 years ago (he is the pastor for both churches), before one of my children was baptised, and let him know I was agnostic. It ended up that during the baptismal ceremony, I let my fiancee do all the talking so that I would not be lying when I said "Yes", etc. Not much else came from that talk, the pastor has not really ever approached me about it since then.

------

So far I have to be honest: Many of the replies here are not what I expected, especially after the welcoming/accepting response after I "came out of the closet" to my Sunday School class, which comprised mostly of people in their 70's. Though not explicitly stated, the message I'm feeling from most of you (correct me if I'm wrong) is "what the heck are you even doing there?". Nice. It definitely makes me question whether I should go in the first place.

It seems to me that I should be welcome, based on the premise that part of the purpose of the church is to Evangelize to non believers. What an opportunity, right, instead of having to go out to Africa to convert somebody, they've got somebody who willingly walked through the front door that they could be ministering to.

Whatever. Interested to hear more of your thoughts.

 

[ViaCrucis]

It seems to me that I should be welcome, based on the premise that part of the purpose of the church is to Evangelize to non believers. What an opportunity, right, instead of having to go out to Africa to convert somebody, they've got somebody who willingly walked through the front door that they could be ministering to.

For what it's worth I believe you should be welcome because it's the Church's job to be an open-armed people. Because doing the work Jesus commanded isn't about "winning souls" but about proclaiming and announcing the good news of God's kingdom, and to be the people of that kingdom in this world. And that means being a people of sanctuary for whosoever may come, to be a place and a people who keep our doors open, and make room--especially for the outcast, the marginalized, the unwanted, and for anyone who happens to cross our paths.

If the Church is really preaching the Gospel then the strength and integrity of the Gospel is efficacious enough on its own to bring people to faith by the power of the Holy Spirit; not through hammering the Bible on people's heads, but simply by letting the Gospel be the Gospel. Because the Gospel is not "Hey, you, let me try and win an argument to show how your beliefs are wrong and so you can join my church." It's what we see when we read the stories in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; of the God who condescends to meet the world in and through Jesus, who eats and drinks with tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, outcasts, and sinners. Who speaks of a kingdom that isn't anything like empires and governments we see in this world, but is instead the kingly reign of God wherein the last shall be first, the grieving shall be comforted, the hungry shall be fed, sins shall be forgiven, and the greatest among us is our servant. It's the kind of kingdom that doesn't look like Caesar in Rome, or the militant uprisings of the Zealots, but of the crucified carpenter from Galilee, dying, and then three days later rising as One victorious over sin, death, and the world. The crucifixion and resurrection of Christ is the public declaration of God's victory over the system of power and violence in this present world, in the hope of that future world when God sets all things right.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[Gordon Wright]

@Gordon Wright: The reason I go to church is because my fiancee is Christian. We are raising our kids Christian. It gives my family structure on Sundays. Also I respect the teachings of Christianity and believe there is a lot of wisdom in them, even though I don't believe the main part.

@grandvizier1006: I'm not against becoming a Christian. If something moves me and finally makes me believe, fine. I am not closed to it.

If you're open, that's fine. Church should be a place for seekers as well as the faithful. But be upfront about it. Accept your status as a frequent visitor and don't pretend to be anything else. If they have a problem with that then you're attending the wrong church. But regardless - no deception. Come clean, see how they react and then take it from there. It will do your soul no good at all to attempt to defraud God.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Most churches will welcome you as a seeker or looking at the Christian faith.

I do disagree with you teaching a Sunday School class though. Why would you take a leadership role in a church where you do not believe as they do?

I do not think that that was a good move on your part.

EDIT: I'm also adding serving on the worship team as that is also a leadership role.

 

[talitha]

I don't disagree with you teaching a Sunday school lesson on Buddhism as much as i disagree with your playing on the worship team. Worship team. Worshiping God. Wow.

 

[singpeace]

So. I've been Agnostic my entire adult life. In 2009 I started following the path of Buddhism, which does not believe or disbelieve in any God. Since 2010, I have been attending churches with my family (My fiancee and now 3 children). We used to go to one church, we will call it SC, from around 2010-2014. Now since 2014 we have been going to another church, let's call it HC. The churches are both Methodist and are considered "sister churches", and lots of the members from each church know members at the other church.

Around 2012, at SC, my Sunday school class did a study on Christianity and World religions. I decided to teach the lesson on Buddhism. In the process I also "came out of the closet" to my Sunday school class. I was scared, and wasn't sure what they would think... But you know what, they were really nice and supportive. I was surprised, and it was cool. However, this was just a small group of about 8 people. I'm not really sure if word spread to the rest of the church. (Small church where around 60 people show up every week). We never really talked about it much after that. What do you think, did word spread?

Anyway, at the new church, HC, I am getting more active and actually play percussion every week during service. This church is slightly larger with about 80 people who show up every week.

I have never officially come out of the closet at HC, and I am scared to do so. What will they think? Will they not like me any more? Will they want me to stop playing the percussion?

My other question is: Since many of the people at both churches know each other, what is the percent chance that most everybody at HC already knows about me anyway?

And do I need to come out of the closet at HC? If so, when, where and how? Would it be appropriate for me to do a "testimonial" of sorts?

Thanks for your advice and wisdom.

Peace
Scott

MrScott, Christians are not perfect, as you know. Some will be supportive. Some will not.
Be yourself. Be who you are and try not to worry about what others think. I am glad that you are involved in church and that you have chosen Christian friends. I think you will find out who is a true friend and who isn't; just the same as if you were going through a challenge of any kind. God bless you and keep you.

My prayer is that you will experience the Lord and his presence in a profound way; that you discover for yourself how true and real Jesus is and that you live out the rest of your life utterly convinced of his Diety, love, grace, and salvation.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I don't disagree with you teaching a Sunday school lesson on Buddhism as much as i disagree with your playing on the worship team. Worship team. Worshiping God. Wow.

That's a good point.

Yup. The worship team is another.

 

[GracetotheHumble]

So. I've been Agnostic my entire adult life. In 2009 I started following the path of Buddhism, which does not believe or disbelieve in any God. Since 2010, I have been attending churches with my family (My fiancee and now 3 children). We used to go to one church, we will call it SC, from around 2010-2014. Now since 2014 we have been going to another church, let's call it HC. The churches are both Methodist and are considered "sister churches", and lots of the members from each church know members at the other church.

Around 2012, at SC, my Sunday school class did a study on Christianity and World religions. I decided to teach the lesson on Buddhism. In the process I also "came out of the closet" to my Sunday school class. I was scared, and wasn't sure what they would think... But you know what, they were really nice and supportive. I was surprised, and it was cool. However, this was just a small group of about 8 people. I'm not really sure if word spread to the rest of the church. (Small church where around 60 people show up every week). We never really talked about it much after that. What do you think, did word spread?

Anyway, at the new church, HC, I am getting more active and actually play percussion every week during service. This church is slightly larger with about 80 people who show up every week.

I have never officially come out of the closet at HC, and I am scared to do so. What will they think? Will they not like me any more? Will they want me to stop playing the percussion?

My other question is: Since many of the people at both churches know each other, what is the percent chance that most everybody at HC already knows about me anyway?

And do I need to come out of the closet at HC? If so, when, where and how? Would it be appropriate for me to do a "testimonial" of sorts?

Thanks for your advice and wisdom.

Peace
Scott

I was also wondering why you are attending these churches?

Honesty is the best policy, I would be open about my beliefs.

A Christian church may not be the right place for you, have you considered a Buddhist gathering?

 

[aiki]

The Church is the Body of Christ, which is constituted of born-again disciples of Jesus. In the record of the New Testament, when the Church met together it was primarily to hear God's truth preached and for believers to fellowship with one another as fellow citizens of God's kingdom. The local worship service of the Church was not for the unbeliever (though they could certainly attend). They are strangers to, even enemies of, God and do not, consequently, belong in the fellowship of His children as they worship God and are taught His truth. Because many churches have turned from this biblical purpose for the meeting together of believers and have made "church" primarily about the seeker, the unsaved person, "church" has become the sort of place you describe your current church to be. No one bats an eye at your fidelity to Buddhism even though in doing so, in the view of Scripture, you are living in rebellion to God and stand, therefore, under His eternal judgment at every moment.

Your choice to attend a Methodist church while declaring yourself a Buddhist is a prime example of the nonsensical direction a postmodern approach to spirituality and religion will take a person. Buddhism and Christianity contradict one another on some very fundamental points. Buddhism is, essentially, a sort of religious atheism. How, then, does participating in a religion which is so fundamentally in contradiction to your own make any sense? It may seem open-minded and accepting to act as you are, but in reality it is enormously inconsistent - if not irrational.

Selah.

 

[grandvizier1006]

For what it's worth I believe you should be welcome because it's the Church's job to be an open-armed people. Because doing the work Jesus commanded isn't about "winning souls" but about proclaiming and announcing the good news of God's kingdom, and to be the people of that kingdom in this world. And that means being a people of sanctuary for whosoever may come, to be a place and a people who keep our doors open, and make room--especially for the outcast, the marginalized, the unwanted, and for anyone who happens to cross our paths.

If the Church is really preaching the Gospel then the strength and integrity of the Gospel is efficacious enough on its own to bring people to faith by the power of the Holy Spirit; not through hammering the Bible on people's heads, but simply by letting the Gospel be the Gospel. Because the Gospel is not "Hey, you, let me try and win an argument to show how your beliefs are wrong and so you can join my church." It's what we see when we read the stories in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; of the God who condescends to meet the world in and through Jesus, who eats and drinks with tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, outcasts, and sinners. Who speaks of a kingdom that isn't anything like empires and governments we see in this world, but is instead the kingly reign of God wherein the last shall be first, the grieving shall be comforted, the hungry shall be fed, sins shall be forgiven, and the greatest among us is our servant. It's the kind of kingdom that doesn't look like Caesar in Rome, or the militant uprisings of the Zealots, but of the crucified carpenter from Galilee, dying, and then three days later rising as One victorious over sin, death, and the world. The crucifixion and resurrection of Christ is the public declaration of God's victory over the system of power and violence in this present world, in the hope of that future world when God sets all things right.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[PloverWing]

mrscott1026: You would be welcome at my church, openly agnostic and Buddhist. It sounds like you are respectful towards the Christian faith and those who practice it, and that (how wonderful!) you are supportive of your fiancee and children in their Christian faith journey. You would be free to join in with us when you are comfortable doing so (can you help cook dinner for our homeless families? great!) and to quietly abstain from anything you're uncomfortable with. Of course you and I would disagree about some things, including important Christian beliefs. You're welcome anyway. "The Episcopal Church welcomes you", and all that.

As you can see from the replies in this forum, churches vary in how welcoming they are toward people of other faiths. Without knowing your specific congregations, it's hard to know how welcoming they will be when you "come out". It's a good sign that your Sunday School class was supportive, and it's also a good sign that the pastor you spoke to was welcoming. If you feel confident enough of the support of your Sunday School class, you might ask them how supportive the larger church will be of you -- they probably have a feel for the larger group.

I wish you and your family many blessings and happiness in your journey together.

 

[GracetotheHumble]

Some churches are more like social gatherings and do not focus on the word and sacraments.

 

[grandvizier1006]

mrscott1026: You would be welcome at my church, openly agnostic and Buddhist. It sounds like you are respectful towards the Christian faith and those who practice it, and that (how wonderful!) you are supportive of your fiancee and children in their Christian faith journey. You would be free to join in with us when you are comfortable doing so (can you help cook dinner for our homeless families? great!) and to quietly abstain from anything you're uncomfortable with. Of course you and I would disagree about some things, including important Christian beliefs. You're welcome anyway. "The Episcopal Church welcomes you", and all that.

As you can see from the replies in this forum, churches vary in how welcoming they are toward people of other faiths. Without knowing your specific congregations, it's hard to know how welcoming they will be when you "come out". It's a good sign that your Sunday School class was supportive, and it's also a good sign that the pastor you spoke to was welcoming. If you feel confident enough of the support of your Sunday School class, you might ask them how supportive the larger church will be of you -- they probably have a feel for the larger group.

I wish you and your family many blessings and happiness in your journey together.

This is ridiculous. Why do liberal Christians feel this need to just let everyone into their churches, including people that aren't Christians? It is one thing to allow someone who identifies as a visitor and is considering joining. But the OP is a Budhist and for some reason feels like everyone needs to know it. Are you all sympathiZing with him because he used the term "come out of the closet?" Don't you get that that's just a logical fallacy designed to appeal to your emotions? You feel like sympathizing with him because it immediately reminds you of a gay person. And you all seem to think that gay people are invariably mistreated and abused at every church that doesn't affirm homosexuality--which, I might want to point out, was likely your own church not long ago. So you're led to sympathize with him all because of his choice of words. Why do people fall for this kind of rhetoric? I don't think the OP was deliberately trying to manipulate your emotions, but it's still so pathetic to me, honestly, that you feel the need to literally say "how wonderful!" At the prospect of a Budhist going to a church that is reserved for Christians.

A church is meant to be a gathering place for believers, or at the very least those being introduced to the Christian faith. The OP seems comfortable being a Budhist and wants to still be one in a Christian environment, for reasons I do 't understand. If it has something to do with diversity, then don't try and explain it to me.

There is nothing "intolerant" about telling a Budhist in a Christian church about Jesus and offering him the chance to learn about Christianity. What is UN-Christian is to just let him sit there and expect him to somehow accept Jesus on his own. Clearly he doesn't want to do it unless he has to because he has a very different idea of religious faith then myself, and possibly you as well, but the way you liberal Christians are I have no idea. Doing what St. Francis of Assissi said is just garbage. You cannot expect someone to just understand Christ unless they are told. And I know that you liberal Christians are afraid of that because you're afraid of being ostracized in society. But God never said that life would be easy, or that we'd come to agree with the world on things. We Christians are naturally at odds with the world, and trying to pretend like we're not just leads to a watered-down, dead faith that only exists to keep you in this delusional state of happiness.

 

[grandvizier1006]

For what it's worth I believe you should be welcome because it's the Church's job to be an open-armed people. Because doing the work Jesus commanded isn't about "winning souls" but about proclaiming and announcing the good news of God's kingdom, and to be the people of that kingdom in this world. And that means being a people of sanctuary for whosoever may come, to be a place and a people who keep our doors open, and make room--especially for the outcast, the marginalized, the unwanted, and for anyone who happens to cross our paths.

If the Church is really preaching the Gospel then the strength and integrity of the Gospel is efficacious enough on its own to bring people to faith by the power of the Holy Spirit; not through hammering the Bible on people's heads, but simply by letting the Gospel be the Gospel. Because the Gospel is not "Hey, you, let me try and win an argument to show how your beliefs are wrong and so you can join my church." It's what we see when we read the stories in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; of the God who condescends to meet the world in and through Jesus, who eats and drinks with tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, outcasts, and sinners. Who speaks of a kingdom that isn't anything like empires and governments we see in this world, but is instead the kingly reign of God wherein the last shall be first, the grieving shall be comforted, the hungry shall be fed, sins shall be forgiven, and the greatest among us is our servant. It's the kind of kingdom that doesn't look like Caesar in Rome, or the militant uprisings of the Zealots, but of the crucified carpenter from Galilee, dying, and then three days later rising as One victorious over sin, death, and the world. The crucifixion and resurrection of Christ is the public declaration of God's victory over the system of power and violence in this present world, in the hope of that future world when God sets all things right.

-CryptoLutheran