I’m frustrated ok. There. I said it.

[Beautyinsteadofashes]

Maybe I let myself become stressed too easily. But I just feel like I need to get something off my chest before I burst.
I feel like I have a third child. Now...I have two kids. But there is a person who comes by Every day. They knock on my door and I answer. (Because I can’t just pretend I’m not home). Then they stay All day long. I don’t get time to myself.
Sometimes they don’t come till later in the day then ask “what are we having for dinner?” (Basically they invite themselves) this happens a lot.
It’s like I have a family of four. And it’s taking a toll.
I need time alone. Well, at least alone in the sense of not having company over Each and Every day and ALL day! It’s too much!
It’s just too much!
What do I say? Do I even say anything? Because I feel quilty for being so annoyed and frustrated but....Ahhhhh!
I don’t mind having this friend. I just need some space. (Ok. A lot.) I just really don’t want to hurt feelings. I don’t want to be mean. But this has to change.

 

[RaymondG]

Dont have to tell me twice. I wont be stopping by anymore.

 

[Dave G.]

So tell her, if she is really a friend she will understand and give you some space. Have you considered that she might be there so as you can witness the truth of Jesus Christ to her ? The Lord has arranged more than one divine appointment before after all ! He could very well have placed it on her heart to come by and see you till you do that, if you haven't already.

 

[Bluerose31]

Maybe I let myself become stressed too easily. But I just feel like I need to get something off my chest before I burst.
I feel like I have a third child. Now...I have two kids. But there is a person who comes by Every day. They knock on my door and I answer. (Because I can’t just pretend I’m not home). Then they stay All day long. I don’t get time to myself.
Sometimes they don’t come till later in the day then ask “what are we having for dinner?” (Basically they invite themselves) this happens a lot.
It’s like I have a family of four. And it’s taking a toll.
I need time alone. Well, at least alone in the sense of not having company over Each and Every day and ALL day! It’s too much!
It’s just too much!
What do I say? Do I even say anything? Because I feel quilty for being so annoyed and frustrated but....Ahhhhh!
I don’t mind having this friend. I just need some space. (Ok. A lot.) I just really don’t want to hurt feelings. I don’t want to be mean. But this has to change.

I am sorry that you are going through this. I will pray that Jesus helps you solve this problem.

 

[Kenny'sID]

Dont have to tell me twice. I wont be stopping by anymore.

LOL, the OP's worse nightmare of expectations, already played out. One heck of a beginning to the thread.

I get it, what to tell them, that's a good question, something I'll need a bit of time with. For now just wanted to help out with the first reply a bit.

 

[RaymondG]

LOL, the OP's worse nightmare of expectations, already played out. One heck of a beginning to the thread.

I get it, what to tell them, that's a good question, something I'll need a bit of time with. For now just wanted to help out with the first reply a bit.

Was just showing how easy it is to get rid of someone.....say these words and they are gone.

The words hit so deep....I almost thought I was the person.....

 

[Kenny'sID]

Was just showing how easy it is to get rid of someone.....say these words and they are gone.

The words hit so deep....I almost thought I was the person.....

OK, I had not really drawn conclusion on that, but now I know.

 

[Hieronymus]

@OP
You have to tell the person how you feel about it and that you don't want it to continue. (obvious)
The person has no choice but to respect your feelings and decision about this.
Don't fight and argue about what you think is wrong with the person, just explain how YOU feel.
That should work.

 

[HereIStand]

That reminds me,

Seriously, you may have to tell this person in a polite but firm way to give you some space.

 

[Beautyinsteadofashes]

I’m just Such a coward. I don’t like confrontation.

But I really do need some space.

Perhaps God is using this as a test to refine my character? Because I have asked Him to help my temperament.

Someone just tell me I’m not a mean awful person for wanting time to myself.

 

[Hieronymus]

That reminds me,

Seriously, you may have to tell this person in a polite but firm way to give you some space.

To avoid a scene i think it's better to explain you don want this, rather than to 'accuse' the person of not giving space.
The person is probably not aware of the problem OP has with the situation.
(but i don't know the people involved)

 

[Beautyinsteadofashes]

So tell her, if she is really a friend she will understand and give you some space. Have you considered that she might be there so as you can witness the truth of Jesus Christ to her ? The Lord has arranged more than one divine appointment before after all ! He could very well have placed it on her heart to come by and see you till you do that, if you haven't already.

I have talked to them about scripture before and we have attended church together.
It’s not that I don’t want this friendship at all. I just need them to not be over so much. It’s like they live here.

 

[HereIStand]

To avoid a scene i think it's better to explain you don want this, rather than to 'accuse' the person of not giving space.
The person is probably not aware of the problem OP has with the situation.
(but i don't know the people involved)

I don't know the culture in the Netherlands. In most places in the States, unless a person is family or a very close friend, then stopping by each day as described in the OP would be considered an imposition.

 

[Dave G.]

I have talked to them about scripture before and we have attended church together.
It’s not that I don’t want this friendship at all. I just need them to not be over so much. It’s like they live here.

Yah, I get it. Now for them to get it !

 

[Hieronymus]

I don't know the culture in the Netherlands. In most places in the States, unless a person is family or a very close friend, then stopping by each day as described in the OP would be considered an imposition.

That's not the point i.m.o.
But i'm assuming this person is a friend who is not aware that OP doesn't want this to go on.
So, are you gonna tell that friend he / she is stupid for not reading OP's mind?
Or are you gonna tell that friend that YOU don't want this to go on like this?
In the first case the friend will be insulted, no doubt.
In the second case, chances are the friend will apologise for inviting him- / herself over and over again, maybe say "Why didn't you tell me before?".
Sure, in both cases the friend may feel insulted, but it is better to avoid that by being honest about how you feel about it, rather than implying the friend is stupid.
In all, OP is also 'stupid' for letting this go on for too long. (no offence, i know about people who unintentionally overstay their welcome...)

 

[Darkhorse]

I’m just Such a coward. I don’t like confrontation.

But I really do need some space.

Perhaps God is using this as a test to refine my character? Because I have asked Him to help my temperament.

Someone just tell me I’m not a mean awful person for wanting time to myself.

"You're not a mean, awful person for wanting time for yourself"

Seriously though, you need to gently tell them that you need time alone to recharge and collect your thoughts, especially with kids and the attention they need.

This is the classic definition of an introvert; they recharge by being alone. Extroverts recharge by being with other people (maybe your friend is one). Just say it in the nicest way possible, but don't yield on what you need.

You might suggest a visit of an hour a week...IF that's something you want and can handle.

 

[Humble me Lord]

Wanting or needing personal space does not make you a bad person at all.
I think any normal person would be ok with you just explaining the situation to them from your point of view, Start out with, I don't want to hurt your feelings or lose you as a friend, but....,

Or the other thought I had was, "well, as long as you are here for dinner every night, I think it's only fair if you chip in some money for groceries."

 

[HereIStand]

That's not the point i.m.o.
But i'm assuming this person is a friend who is not aware that OP doesn't want this to go on.
So, are you gonna tell that friend he / she is stupid for not reading OP's mind?
Or are you gonna tell that friend that YOU don't want this to go on like this?
In the first case the friend will be insulted, no doubt.
In the second case, chances are the friend will apologise for inviting him- / herself over and over again, maybe say "Why didn't you tell me before?".
Sure, in both cases the friend may feel insulted, but it is better to avoid that by being honest about how you feel about it, rather than implying the friend is stupid.
In all, OP is also 'stupid' for letting this go on for too long. (no offence, i know about people who unintentionally overstay their welcome...)

Hopefully, the situation can be resolved without her friend being hurt. We wouldn't want that.

 

[Beautyinsteadofashes]

Wanting or needing personal space does not make you a bad person at all.
I think any normal person would be ok with you just explaining the situation to them from your point of view, Start out with, I don't want to hurt your feelings or lose you as a friend, but....,

Or the other thought I had was, "well, as long as you are here for dinner every night, I think it's only fair if you chip in some money for groceries."

To be honest I do feel taken advantage of.
But I also know they cannot afford much.
This is where I feel like care for three and not just two.

 

[Humble me Lord]

Well, at this point, I think your feelings are more important than possibly losing a friend.
If she is a true friend, then she will understand, if she goes the other way, and takes offense then what kind of friend is that anyway?