A young woman in her twenties goes to online christian forums to get help. She has only been married a few years and her husband doesn't want sex anymore. This is very common.
I am afraid the issue is deeper than it seems. There are many studies coming out the inappropriate contentography leads to sexless marriages, and is the leading cause of erectile dysfunction in young men. Masturbation is not bad in marriage per say, but the problem with it is that it's a different type of stimulation. If a man gets used to masturbation lets say, he loses in time the ability to perform with real women. The key to great sex in marriage is to reduce all stimulation for say at least six months to a year. No masturbation, no inappropriate content no external stimulation at all. If he is fantasizing with infinite amounts of online women then it's hard to find real situations that would turn him on. inappropriate contentography has a diminishing return, what used to turn someone on initially does not get the same high, so more of it is needed, and more extreme inappropriate content is needed. inappropriate contentography can get really really gross, I have heard of men going to really weird types of inappropriate content to get the same high. Some are same sex inappropriate content, incest inappropriate content, pedophilia, even animistic inappropriate content. So again the key is gaining victory over the inappropriate contentography issue. Christ's gospel is so powerful. I was addicted to inappropriate content about 5 years ago, I was addicted to it for 30 years of my life. I was addicted to self gratification for 35 years. I am 5 years clean of inappropriate content and about 8 months free of self gratification. I messed up 8 months ago, and before that was 6 months of victory, so I have messed up maybe once in 13 months. But I noticed that reducing all that stimulation, turned me on to my wife more. My dysfunction I noticed corrected in a matter of months. But know this, you are not alone in this, in fact sexless marriage is very common. Since I was addicted to inappropriate content and self gratification, we would go years with out real sex. I was getting all I needed from the internet. But if you want intimacy you need to tackle the root issue. The root issue is fantasy will infinite amounts of online women. So I would ask him to see his phone, and look at his browser history, look at his text messages look at the people he follows on instagram, and facebook and ticktock and all of them. If there are lots of pretty women, then that is an issue. I would ask why, I would also ask if he ever struggles with inappropriate content use on his phone, and be sure not to do so in a condemning fashion. I know how hurtful it is to have infidelity in a marriage. So you have two options if there is a inappropriate content addiction, if there is shame of it, and genuine sorrow. then there is hope, however if there is no shame, an no semblance of repentance about it.....he likes it and doesn't plan to change. Then that constitutes infidelity. That is having sex with another woman. I know of people who have divorced over those issues. And biblically it's not wrong, because there is infidelity. IF he is willing to get help then there is a book that really helped me, it's called "pure desire" by ted roberts. But there are lots of aids online now, I will post some here. But this can take entire threads to talk about. But here are some helps....
OneTab shared tabs