Human Trafficking; Be part of the solution, not part of the problem

[createdtoworship]

"Day after day... the husband makes zero attempts to initiate sex and even calls it a 'chore' now, saying inappropriate content is 'relaxing,' 'less work,' and that he gets to 'enjoy himself instead of having to focus on satisfying someone else.'" Does this break anyone else's heart?

 

[createdtoworship]

According to a study that analyzed the content of popular inappropriate content scenes, 88.2% contain physical violence while 48.7% contain verbal aggression. What does that teach young people who are turning to inappropriate content to learn about sex?

 

[createdtoworship]

A young woman in her twenties goes to online christian forums to get help. She has only been married a few years and her husband doesn't want sex anymore. This is very common.

I am afraid the issue is deeper than it seems. There are many studies coming out the inappropriate contentography leads to sexless marriages, and is the leading cause of erectile dysfunction in young men. Masturbation is not bad in marriage per say, but the problem with it is that it's a different type of stimulation. If a man gets used to masturbation lets say, he loses in time the ability to perform with real women. The key to great sex in marriage is to reduce all stimulation for say at least six months to a year. No masturbation, no inappropriate content no external stimulation at all. If he is fantasizing with infinite amounts of online women then it's hard to find real situations that would turn him on. inappropriate contentography has a diminishing return, what used to turn someone on initially does not get the same high, so more of it is needed, and more extreme inappropriate content is needed. inappropriate contentography can get really really gross, I have heard of men going to really weird types of inappropriate content to get the same high. Some are same sex inappropriate content, incest inappropriate content, pedophilia, even animistic inappropriate content. So again the key is gaining victory over the inappropriate contentography issue. Christ's gospel is so powerful. I was addicted to inappropriate content about 5 years ago, I was addicted to it for 30 years of my life. I was addicted to self gratification for 35 years. I am 5 years clean of inappropriate content and about 8 months free of self gratification. I messed up 8 months ago, and before that was 6 months of victory, so I have messed up maybe once in 13 months. But I noticed that reducing all that stimulation, turned me on to my wife more. My dysfunction I noticed corrected in a matter of months. But know this, you are not alone in this, in fact sexless marriage is very common. Since I was addicted to inappropriate content and self gratification, we would go years with out real sex. I was getting all I needed from the internet. But if you want intimacy you need to tackle the root issue. The root issue is fantasy will infinite amounts of online women. So I would ask him to see his phone, and look at his browser history, look at his text messages look at the people he follows on instagram, and facebook and ticktock and all of them. If there are lots of pretty women, then that is an issue. I would ask why, I would also ask if he ever struggles with inappropriate content use on his phone, and be sure not to do so in a condemning fashion. I know how hurtful it is to have infidelity in a marriage. So you have two options if there is a inappropriate content addiction, if there is shame of it, and genuine sorrow. then there is hope, however if there is no shame, an no semblance of repentance about it.....he likes it and doesn't plan to change. Then that constitutes infidelity. That is having sex with another woman. I know of people who have divorced over those issues. And biblically it's not wrong, because there is infidelity. IF he is willing to get help then there is a book that really helped me, it's called "pure desire" by ted roberts. But there are lots of aids online now, I will post some here. But this can take entire threads to talk about. But here are some helps....

OneTab shared tabs

 

[Of the Kingdom]

if there is shame of it, and genuine sorrow. then there is hope, however if there is no shame, an no semblance of repentance about it.....he likes it and doesn't plan to change. Then that constitutes infidelity.

Thanks for hammering on this terrible issue, that is attacking many Christian marriages. I wasn't sure which upvote button to use. Where is the OUCH button when we need it?

The casual attitude of many Christian young men to p*rn is sad and dangerous. They do not realize that sexuality can be as addicting as narcotics and that it works in a similar way physically. More open discussion, and openness about God-honoring spirituality, might be the key to preventing a huge amount of marital conflict.

 

[createdtoworship]

Thanks for hammering on this terrible issue, that is attacking many Christian marriages. I wasn't sure which upvote button to use. Where is the OUCH button when we need it?

The casual attitude of many Christian young men to p*rn is sad and dangerous. They do not realize that sexuality can be as addicting as narcotics and that it works in a similar way physically. More open discussion, and openness about God-honoring spirituality, might be the key to preventing a huge amount of marital conflict.

Yes. When I first admitted to my wife I struggled about ten years ago. I could see her countenance just fall. I realized I NEVER wanted to hurt her in that way again. So I kept it secret. But she knew the issue was there. Then when I finally brought it up again, I was delivered. I didn't really know it was that hurtful. but it really is. And that is why we should have read that book pure desire together as a couple. That is how I recommend people to deal with it. When you confess this addiction, already have the book bought, and started to read, and allow here to read the first few chapters too. There is actually a chapter for the wives at the end. But studies show 80 percent of males view inappropriate content 1 time a month, and 30 percent of females. And fifty percent I believe watch it once a week (males), and 3 percent of females watch it once a week. So it's not just males anymore, it used to be only males, but now it's women too....
Warning - inappropriate content and Masturbation Are Not Safe Sex | Cru

 

[createdtoworship]

read images on this tweet....
on Twitter

 

[createdtoworship]

I just started it yesterday, I will be about half way done or mostly done tonight. I devour material like this being a male in a sex dominated world. You can't go wrong hedging up yourself as far as purity is concerned. Here is the link:
https://www.amazon.com/Going-Deeper-Understanding-Addiction-Childhood/dp/1684334357

Here is a review:
"This book gave me a greater understanding as to why my wonderful and loving husband ably kept the secret of his sexual addiction for decades before revealing it and seeking help. I knew he had an emotionally painful and especially neglected childhood. Until reading this book, I had no idea how this pain had impacted him all those years. It had driven him to seek comfort in the wrong ways. I recognized several inner children in him as I read the book. I had seen them emerge at various times
throughout our marriage, in particular Anger. Now if I see these pained children, we can talk about what’s really going on and how we can soothe that child. As a wife of a recovering addiction, I was surprised to recognize some inner child reactions in me. It has helped me to see something has triggered some pain I went through when his inner child is reacting to triggers. I am then able to adjust my responses not child to child but truth to truth. Thank you for writing a book easily read and understood which helps us go deeper in moving further away from pain and addiction!"

If someone is financially struggling, I am in contact with the author and I am sure we can get a free copy of the book for you.

 

[lismore]

I know that men who have addiction don't want to hear this, but inappropriate content facilitates underage girls being trafficked, hiring prostitutes facilitates underage girls being trafficked, hiring strippers, same thing....exploitation.

Hello. One thing we learned from the Rotherham sex abuse scandal:
Rotherham child sexual exploitation scandal - Wikipedia

Is that very often Police, Social Services and Government collude or turn a blind eye to human trafficking.

There were also religious dimensions to the trafficking there. What do we do with Pakistanis who believe trafficking teenage girls is acceptable under their religion?

IMO the church should speak out more against Spiritual wickedness in government, which facilitates much of the evil in society.

God Bless

 

[bèlla]

As a single woman who desires to marry, I feel its important to ask hard questions when relating. Sex is often put aside until feelings arise and separating is harder at that point.

I’m comfortable having forthright discussions on sexuality, experiences and taboos. inappropriate content compromises our moral compass. It desensitizes the viewer and extends his boundaries until he reaches a point where he finds pleasure in acts he would have refuted in the past.

As a woman of God, its my responsibility to uphold my dignity and seek alliances that honor my temple. Confronting the subject head on is the best way to avoid errant pairings. If a problem exists you’ll be able to gauge their commitment to its removal sooner than later.

~Bella

 

[Junia]

As a single woman who desires to marry, I feel its important to ask hard questions when relating. Sex is often put aside until feelings arise and separating is harder at that point.

I’m comfortable having forthright discussions on sexuality, experiences and taboos. inappropriate content compromises our moral compass. It desensitizes the viewer and extends his boundaries until he reaches a point where he finds pleasure in acts he would have refuted in the past.

As a woman of God, its my responsibility to uphold my dignity and seek alliances that honor my temple. Confronting the subject head on is the best way to avoid errant pairings. If a problem exists you’ll be able to gauge their commitment to its removal sooner than later.

~Bella

amen. i agree with this.