You have the Bible right in front of you giving you the exact message that God wants you to have
But the Bible wasn't written in English.
And if we read it literally when the author did not intend it to be understood literally, we make it say something different.
I'm thinking of the Bible as a whole, not just Genesis 1.
Ever heard the phrase: God said it, I believe it, and that settles it for me.
First though, we have to find out what God said.
Some of the Bible includes pastoral letters written to churches that had asked specific questions, or had particular problems. Does that mean that Paul's words, to that church in that place, were God's command to all churches for all time? Which verses say that we are bound by the same advice that was given to a church in a different culture?
Some of the Bible is poetry; did the author expect us to take his poetic phrases, metaphors etc. literally?
Do you think we are the first people to read the Bible? Jesus read the Bible and His words about it take the scriptures for what they say.
We read the Bible in English; it was written in Hebrew/Greek; Jesus spoke Aramaic.
All of that was translated into Latin and then English. How do you know that the English words always accurately translate/express what the Hebrew/Greek said? How do you know that, if Paul is now, somehow, reading our English translations, he is not saying, "no, no, no; that is NOT what I meant"?
Not the silliness you invoke.
So you don't understand exegesis then?
You believe that when Paul said that widows under the age of 60 are gossiping busybodies and need no financial assistance from the church - that God has spoken and that settles the matter? (1 Timothy 5:9-14.) Or that Paul contradicted himself - women must be silent in church, but they may prophecy? Or that anyone who teaches circumcision and the law is preaching another Gospel and should emasculate themselves, but that the words of Scripture, which include the Jewish law, should be obeyed?