Does God really want me to stay with toxic people that disrespect me on the daily bases? Why doesnt God want me to leave? Why doesnt he help me ( I do all i can to help myself such as working ect.. Then my parents sabatoge my job or something crazy like my car getting wrecked in an accident happens. I have no friends to room with..)
It just makes it hard to trust God when it seems like he wants me to suffer and not be happy at all. Ive never got the desires of my heart even when serving God. I never got friends that stick closer than a brother. Someone that isnt messed up or as toxic as my parents to love and be loved by. Im not asking for a million dollars just simple things and now I just want to get away from my parents.
Im working and trying to save but it seems fruitless.
I prayerfully hope this helps:
Many people in the bible have struggled with the very same questions you're struggling with right now. Perhaps the most obvious is Job, or maybe Joseph - but another is Habakkuk, who genuinely struggled with God's decision to punish Israel's persistent rebellion with a thoroughly evil nation. He didn't understand how God could allow such pain and misery to His people. But Habakkuk had something going for him that, despite all the pain and suffering Israel was about to have to endure, enabled him nevertheless to rejoice - Habakkuk knew who God was; he knew His sovereignty, His utter goodness, His love, and above all - His faithfulness to His people. GOD NEVER LETS HIS PEOPLE DOWN.
Hab 3:16ff -
I heard and my inward parts trembled,
At the sound my lips quivered.
Decay enters my bones,
And in my place I tremble.
Because I must wait quietly for the day of distress,
For the people to arise who will invade us.
Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.
Job 1:9ff -
“Does Job fear God for nothing? Have You not made a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has; he will surely curse You to Your face.”
What is satan's lie to us?
That God is not worthy of our fealty unless He makes our lives perfectly secure and safe and blessed with every good thing. That's satan's lie - and what a whopper it is!
Consider Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego as they were about to die for not bowing down to the king's idol:
“O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Dan 3:16ff) Whether God rescued them from the furnace or not, these three young men knew God was worthy of their loyalty, even unto death.
Jesus struggled mightily in the garden on the eve of the most heinous, the most unfair, the most appalling injustice any individual would ever have to endure! But what was His response? "Thy will be done!" Jesus knew His Father was worthy of His absolute obedience and trust.
But we struggle (I know I do) with difficulties here on earth - and admittedly, some of them seemingly impossible to handle, either in magnitude or painful longevity; sometimes both. We must ask ourselves if our struggles here, whatever they may be, are proof that God is somehow not worthy of our trust and loyalty. It boils down to who we believe God is, and I suspect that's by [His] design.
The three sins of Adam and Eve (Gen 3:6) were biological lust, emotional lust, and intellectual lust. John said as much:
"For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh (the tree was good for food) and the lust of the eyes (the fruit was a delight to the eyes) and the boastful pride of life (and it was desirable to make one wise), is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." (I Jn 2:16f). Adam and Eve were totally provided for. God had seen to their every need. But they wanted something more; they wanted to be like Him, in charge themselves, self-sufficient. They wanted their security to come from within, not without, from themselves, not God.
"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation." (I Peter 4:12f)
God is worthy of our loyalty and trust - because God is who He is. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to
His purpose.
Hang in there. Trust in Him - for who and what He is.