My home situation isnt good at all. I try my hardest in my own strength to do what i can to move. I work, i search out the apt, set money aside, but Im.now realizing i habe really toxic parents.
Im always obligated to help financially and dont have much to save and rarely get paid back. Im not respected at home. Not as mother or in general ( see threads-- brother threw toy at my baby and my mom let my daughter sit in poop bc she was mad at me) if i try to stand up for myself and children Im threatened with being put out. Food I buy gets eaten, everyone drives my car, i put gas in but it comes back empty my dad argued with me last week abt why he doesnt need to put gas in.
Yet when I find a guy who I think would be a good partner and try to move in with him to leave my parents. God gives me warnings ...so thats not his will either.
Does God really want me to stay with toxic people that disrespect me on the daily bases? Why doesnt God want me to leave? Why doesnt he help me ( I do all i can to help myself such as working ect.. Then my parents sabatoge my job or something crazy like my car getting wrecked in an accident happens. I have no friends to room with..)
It just makes it hard to trust God when it seems like he wants me to suffer and not be happy at all. Ive never got the desires of my heart even when serving God. I never got friends that stick closer than a brother. Someone that isnt messed up or as toxic as my parents to love and be loved by. Im not asking for a million dollars just simple things and now I just want to get away from my parents.
Im working and trying to save but it seems fruitless.
Im always obligated to help financially and dont have much to save and rarely get paid back. Im not respected at home. Not as mother or in general ( see threads-- brother threw toy at my baby and my mom let my daughter sit in poop bc she was mad at me) if i try to stand up for myself and children Im threatened with being put out. Food I buy gets eaten, everyone drives my car, i put gas in but it comes back empty my dad argued with me last week abt why he doesnt need to put gas in.
Yet when I find a guy who I think would be a good partner and try to move in with him to leave my parents. God gives me warnings ...so thats not his will either.
Does God really want me to stay with toxic people that disrespect me on the daily bases? Why doesnt God want me to leave? Why doesnt he help me ( I do all i can to help myself such as working ect.. Then my parents sabatoge my job or something crazy like my car getting wrecked in an accident happens. I have no friends to room with..)
It just makes it hard to trust God when it seems like he wants me to suffer and not be happy at all. Ive never got the desires of my heart even when serving God. I never got friends that stick closer than a brother. Someone that isnt messed up or as toxic as my parents to love and be loved by. Im not asking for a million dollars just simple things and now I just want to get away from my parents.
Im working and trying to save but it seems fruitless.