how do i save my marriage and love if my husband thinks he's turned gay?

[andy1982]

Hello everyone,

not sure if this is the right section to be posting this, i hope so, if not, apologies.

Me and my husband met about 6 years ago and fell in love while being best friends. It was a special kind of love, we were soulmates and told each others daily how blessed we were to have found each others.

My husband had sexual attraction to boys when he was younger, he even once fell in love with a boy in his teenage years, hasn't really lived his sexual fantasies though. Then I came along and he fell for me, we were together for 2 years and then got married. Been married for 2,5 years by now. We moved in and were happy. But something changed and he recently told me he felt strong attraction to men, at the same time he said he loves me more than anything and doesn't want to lose me.

Then he started to search for gay men online, since he needed someone to talk to. Then it was over with our sex life.....I spoke to him about 4 weeks ago and he cried a lot and said that he's can't live like this. He loves me but right now he just can't be with me because it feels "wrong". So I decided to give him his space (it was the only way he said) and moved out about 2 weeks ago.

I miss him terribly and I know he misses me, but he's just 100% sure that he's gay (has never had sexual intercourse with a man) and wants to try the new life. I know he's in search of friends, mostly gay friends, since he's completely alone. He has told his family that he's doing just fine, but I have hard time believing it.

He's unsaved, believes in nothing. Used to tell me that I was his angel sent to him, that we were meant to be. Now he seems to be ignoring all that and told me even that he tries to occupy himself ALL the time, so he doesn't face his fears and thoughts. He sleeps very little, sits at the computer mostly chatting or phoning with his new "friends", hates his job and has lost about 6 kg in 2 weeks. He has had an addiction to inappropriate content (gay and straight) since a quite early age and has never been able to give up on that, I also think that gay inappropriate content especially gave him the urge to "try it out".

I'm worried that he's falling and slipping away and I seem to be so helpless. All I do is pray to Lord Jesus Christ to open up my husband's eyes and send him some kind of sign to make him believe. It feels like the devil's got a hold of him and is slowly sucking him into a black hole. He is totally lost and alone, he just keeps telling himself that it's all "good".

My husband confessed himself about some time ago, that he knows the decision he made is not right, but he HAD to make it and had no choice.....

Has anyone had a similar situation? I would love to hear some suggestions....

Is there anything I can do for him but pray for his salvation?

I'm so scared that I will lose him, my true love and my soulmate....

Please mention us in your prayers.

God bless.

 

[Elijah2]

My dear sister, this is a spiritual battle, that began when your husband was young.

Many claim that you are born a homosexual and that is a lie from "father of lies".

This is a spiritual battle and not some genetic flaw.

You should speak to the many ministers who found our Lord Jesus Christ and were set free from homosexuality. There are such ministries on the Internet.

Blessings.

 

[alatir]

Perhaps you should try to talk about Christ and the Gospel with him. Taking time to sit down with him and go through the Scriptures and show how God sees this sin he is living in, inappropriate contentography and homosexuality (Rom. 1:18-32).

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God
1. Cor 6:9-11

Talk with him how Christ came to atone for his sins and also talk him how the power of God's Spirit can set him free from that sinful frame of mind. He really is a powerful God.

 

[andy1982]

thank you for comments.

I have tried to talk about God with him in the past. For about 2 weeks ago he had an awful hysterical cry (when we decided to split) and I asked him to let me read gospel to him, but he refused. He is a typical atheist who thinks human should act on his urges..... that's why I'm scared that he won't be able to find his way out on his own.

I just today spoke to him on the phone, he said he's doing really good and asked me not to visit our old apartment tomorrow, since he's having a friend over (some 20 year old guy he met online). All in all, he sounded very arrogant and sort of liking me being sad and crushed. As if his kindness and his love have just vanished. I believe that devil's taken over him and is having a ball.

Oh Lord, please help me.....

 

[alatir]

Well, there is another advice from the Scripture I can think of. I'm not sure how to do this in practice, I think the Lord has to show this you by Himself.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
1. Peter 3:1-4

 

[aldar]

Hello everyone,

not sure if this is the right section to be posting this, i hope so, if not, apologies.

Me and my husband met about 6 years ago and fell in love while being best friends. It was a special kind of love, we were soulmates and told each others daily how blessed we were to have found each others.

My husband had sexual attraction to boys when he was younger, he even once fell in love with a boy in his teenage years, hasn't really lived his sexual fantasies though. Then I came along and he fell for me, we were together for 2 years and then got married. Been married for 2,5 years by now. We moved in and were happy. But something changed and he recently told me he felt strong attraction to men, at the same time he said he loves me more than anything and doesn't want to lose me.

Then he started to search for gay men online, since he needed someone to talk to. Then it was over with our sex life.....I spoke to him about 4 weeks ago and he cried a lot and said that he's can't live like this. He loves me but right now he just can't be with me because it feels "wrong". So I decided to give him his space (it was the only way he said) and moved out about 2 weeks ago.

I miss him terribly and I know he misses me, but he's just 100% sure that he's gay (has never had sexual intercourse with a man) and wants to try the new life. I know he's in search of friends, mostly gay friends, since he's completely alone. He has told his family that he's doing just fine, but I have hard time believing it.

He's unsaved, believes in nothing. Used to tell me that I was his angel sent to him, that we were meant to be. Now he seems to be ignoring all that and told me even that he tries to occupy himself ALL the time, so he doesn't face his fears and thoughts. He sleeps very little, sits at the computer mostly chatting or phoning with his new "friends", hates his job and has lost about 6 kg in 2 weeks. He has had an addiction to inappropriate content (gay and straight) since a quite early age and has never been able to give up on that, I also think that gay inappropriate content especially gave him the urge to "try it out".

I'm worried that he's falling and slipping away and I seem to be so helpless. All I do is pray to Lord Jesus Christ to open up my husband's eyes and send him some kind of sign to make him believe. It feels like the devil's got a hold of him and is slowly sucking him into a black hole. He is totally lost and alone, he just keeps telling himself that it's all "good".

My husband confessed himself about some time ago, that he knows the decision he made is not right, but he HAD to make it and had no choice.....

Has anyone had a similar situation? I would love to hear some suggestions....

Is there anything I can do for him but pray for his salvation?

I'm so scared that I will lose him, my true love and my soulmate....

Please mention us in your prayers.

God bless.

.... this is truely sad. I do not believe there is anyway to make your husband come back to you, he may never and thats a fact. All you can really do is love him, you can't make him feel or want anything, what else can you do? He does love you, but he loves something else too...something that will probly abandone him one day and leave him broken and hating himself, he may want you and you alone again oneday but it may be too late, I don't believe you could wait on him forever either.
I wish you the best of luck... this is the saddest story I've heard in a long time, I personally don't believe in miracles that can just "fix" these sort of things, I only hope he does come back to you, I am so sorry for you.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Hello everyone,

not sure if this is the right section to be posting this, i hope so, if not, apologies.

Me and my husband met about 6 years ago and fell in love while being best friends. It was a special kind of love, we were soulmates and told each others daily how blessed we were to have found each others.

My husband had sexual attraction to boys when he was younger, he even once fell in love with a boy in his teenage years, hasn't really lived his sexual fantasies though. Then I came along and he fell for me, we were together for 2 years and then got married. Been married for 2,5 years by now. We moved in and were happy. But something changed and he recently told me he felt strong attraction to men, at the same time he said he loves me more than anything and doesn't want to lose me.

Then he started to search for gay men online, since he needed someone to talk to. Then it was over with our sex life.....I spoke to him about 4 weeks ago and he cried a lot and said that he's can't live like this. He loves me but right now he just can't be with me because it feels "wrong". So I decided to give him his space (it was the only way he said) and moved out about 2 weeks ago.

I miss him terribly and I know he misses me, but he's just 100% sure that he's gay (has never had sexual intercourse with a man) and wants to try the new life. I know he's in search of friends, mostly gay friends, since he's completely alone. He has told his family that he's doing just fine, but I have hard time believing it.

He's unsaved, believes in nothing. Used to tell me that I was his angel sent to him, that we were meant to be. Now he seems to be ignoring all that and told me even that he tries to occupy himself ALL the time, so he doesn't face his fears and thoughts. He sleeps very little, sits at the computer mostly chatting or phoning with his new "friends", hates his job and has lost about 6 kg in 2 weeks. He has had an addiction to inappropriate content (gay and straight) since a quite early age and has never been able to give up on that, I also think that gay inappropriate content especially gave him the urge to "try it out".

I'm worried that he's falling and slipping away and I seem to be so helpless. All I do is pray to Lord Jesus Christ to open up my husband's eyes and send him some kind of sign to make him believe. It feels like the devil's got a hold of him and is slowly sucking him into a black hole. He is totally lost and alone, he just keeps telling himself that it's all "good".

My husband confessed himself about some time ago, that he knows the decision he made is not right, but he HAD to make it and had no choice.....

Has anyone had a similar situation? I would love to hear some suggestions....

Is there anything I can do for him but pray for his salvation?

I'm so scared that I will lose him, my true love and my soulmate....

Please mention us in your prayers.

God bless.

Dear I can feel your sadness and I am so sorry for your loss. This loss is worse than losing them by death.




You are now having your faith tested. The only choices here are GOD or satan. You or I can do nothing for his SALVATION as GOD'S WORD says:




WE EACH SEEK OUR OWN SALVATION




Our GOD is a jealous GOD. HE has to have all of you or wants nothing. GOD will test you to know where you stand. You either continue up the path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD or you fall off the path. So it's you that I'm concerned about as I can do nothing for your husband.



Let's see just how GOD looks at what your husband is doing:



Romans
Chapter 1:



26 Therefore, God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural,



27 and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity.

Leviticus
Chapter 18
​

22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such a thing is an abomination.

Galatians
Chapter 5
​

19Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness,


20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions,



21occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.



Romans
Chapter 1




20Ever since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have been able to be understood and perceived in what he has made. As a result, they have no excuse;



21for although they knew God they did not accord him glory as God or give him thanks. Instead, they became vain in their reasoning, and their senseless minds were darkened.



22 While claiming to be wise, they became fools





23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for the likeness of an image of mortal man or of birds or of four-legged animals or of snakes.



24 Therefore, God handed them over to impurity through the lusts of their hearts for the mutual degradation of their bodies.




25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and revered and worshiped the creature rather than the creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.



26Therefore, God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural,



27and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity.



28And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God handed them over to their undiscerning mind to do what is improper.



29 They are filled with every form of wickedness, evil, greed, and malice; full of envy, murder, rivalry, treachery, and spite. They are gossips



30 and scandalmongers and they hate God. They are insolent, haughty, boastful, ingenious in their wickedness, and rebellious toward their parents.



31 They are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.



32 Although they know the just decree of God that all who practice such things deserve death, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.



We can see here that GOD will never accept this. So how does this effect you:




Ephesians
Chapter 5




6 Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient.



7 So do not be associated with them.


8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light,


9 for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth.



10 Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.



11 Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness; rather expose them,



12 for it is shameful even to mention the things done by them in secret; says: "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light."




13 but everything exposed by the light becomes visible,



14 for everything that becomes visible is light. Therefore, itsays: "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light."



You have done what the LORD told you do do by bringing this to the light. So the next thing for you to do is:




So do not be associated with them.




Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness;




So now with your eyes wide open if you care about your soul you know what you MUST do.







If you are going to be part of the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD you MUST GIVE IT ALL TO GOD.




GOD demands that you give HIM your WHOLE heart, mind, strength, and soul. That means you go in prayer and tell GOD that you will do this and from that moment on seek GOD in all your decisions. After this is complete GOD will know. For HE searches the heart. HE will then send HIS HOLY SPIRIT ( ANOINTED-BORN AGAIN- SAVED ). For it is then that you shall receive the MISSION GOD has for just you and supply all your needs, even what you have not the ability to have.




Pick up GOD'S ROAD MAP to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD ( BIBLE ) and start reading the NEW TESTIMENT till the next time you read it you will already know what IT'S going to say. For then it's locked in your heart to draw from for the rest of your life. You will NEVER be sorry you did.




Do yourself a BIG FAVOR and Start right now!!!



LOVE



steven

 

[Stephen Kendall]

Hello everyone,

not sure if this is the right section to be posting this, i hope so, if not, apologies.

Me and my husband met about 6 years ago and fell in love while being best friends. It was a special kind of love, we were soulmates and told each others daily how blessed we were to have found each others.

My husband had sexual attraction to boys when he was younger, he even once fell in love with a boy in his teenage years, hasn't really lived his sexual fantasies though. Then I came along and he fell for me, we were together for 2 years and then got married. Been married for 2,5 years by now. We moved in and were happy. But something changed and he recently told me he felt strong attraction to men, at the same time he said he loves me more than anything and doesn't want to lose me.

Then he started to search for gay men online, since he needed someone to talk to. Then it was over with our sex life.....I spoke to him about 4 weeks ago and he cried a lot and said that he's can't live like this. He loves me but right now he just can't be with me because it feels "wrong". So I decided to give him his space (it was the only way he said) and moved out about 2 weeks ago.

I miss him terribly and I know he misses me, but he's just 100% sure that he's gay (has never had sexual intercourse with a man) and wants to try the new life. I know he's in search of friends, mostly gay friends, since he's completely alone. He has told his family that he's doing just fine, but I have hard time believing it.

He's unsaved, believes in nothing. Used to tell me that I was his angel sent to him, that we were meant to be. Now he seems to be ignoring all that and told me even that he tries to occupy himself ALL the time, so he doesn't face his fears and thoughts. He sleeps very little, sits at the computer mostly chatting or phoning with his new "friends", hates his job and has lost about 6 kg in 2 weeks. He has had an addiction to inappropriate content (gay and straight) since a quite early age and has never been able to give up on that, I also think that gay inappropriate content especially gave him the urge to "try it out".

I'm worried that he's falling and slipping away and I seem to be so helpless. All I do is pray to Lord Jesus Christ to open up my husband's eyes and send him some kind of sign to make him believe. It feels like the devil's got a hold of him and is slowly sucking him into a black hole. He is totally lost and alone, he just keeps telling himself that it's all "good".

My husband confessed himself about some time ago, that he knows the decision he made is not right, but he HAD to make it and had no choice.....

Has anyone had a similar situation? I would love to hear some suggestions....

Is there anything I can do for him but pray for his salvation?

I'm so scared that I will lose him, my true love and my soulmate....

Please mention us in your prayers.

God bless.

If Satan has enough channels open to him, he can be taken over through brain washing. Cut the channels off (ask him to help himself some and cut the channels off). It will be harder for Satan, if he turns him off. Is all lost? Is it too late? If he takes action to clear up his head some, no it isn't, but if he is controlled by this world that he has help to build, the despair is his own creation. He isn't gay. There is our will and their is Satan's. We are brain washed to become Satan's will. Satan actually dwells within sin, the thought act as well as the actual physical one. I am surprised that Satan doesn't yet have him all the way. Your husband has shown resistance by hesitation, that is a good sign. Tell your husband that gay is just the tip of the iceberg away from God and anything that he thinks is moral. Why? Satisfaction is why. If you go away from God's morality for satisfaction, you most likely will not find it, but go on seeking it stubbornly till the end of your life (and where do you go from there).

Find God through Christ alone. His church is established through Christ alone. We are his who come to him and are his church (as he has told us). Read the Bible, speak what the Holy Spirit wants you to and follow Christ every moment of each day. Ignore the doctrines of men and instead listen to Jesus Christ alone. Be bold and brave. Take courage to have faith in Jesus Christ. His word is true. Don't substitute it with man's words (man's doctrine). Jesus is more than sufficient. Have a great day.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Praying for you and for him~ As others have told you, there is really little else you can do at this point except pray as you have been that his eyes be opened to the truth. I am praying that the Lord will also comfort you and give you clear guidance how to proceed in relating to him. Maybe the website ww.Exodusinternational.org might have some resources or information which might be helpfu to you. Click on the section which deals with "family and friends."

Also, we can give you some bits and pieces of counsel/advice online here, but do you have a pastor you could speak with in person? I think that would also be beneficial.

 

[aldar]

Praying for you and for him~ As others have told you, there is really little else you can do at this point except pray as you have been that his eyes be opened to the truth. I am praying that the Lord will also comfort you and give you clear guidance how to proceed in relating to him. Maybe the website ww.Exodusinternational.org might have some resources or information which might be helpfu to you. Click on the section which deals with "family and friends."

Also, we can give you some bits and pieces of counsel/advice online here, but do you have a pastor you could speak with in person? I think that would also be beneficial.

Yes! Get expert help, see a marriage counseler that is skilled in these areas if you can.

 

[AmeriLovesJesus]

Praying for you. <3

 

[andy1982]

thank you everyone for you messages and kind words and prayers.

unfortunately he didn't agree to see any psychologists or counsels. Only in the beginning where he confessed everything and as he was crying and said he was being tortured he agreed that he/we needed help (that night he even let me pray for him, for him to get better). But then the new day came and he was "fine" again.

He never ever has believed into anything, has no fear of God and has been raised to believe he can do whatever he wants. Every now and then he used to ask me to pray for him, whenever he was having trouble with something. But that's it. I doubt that he himself will find the way out of this.

Now we don't see each others, he hasn't come to my new place because he's "not ready" to see it yet. I saw him walking with some guy along the lake and he smiled at me as if i were just someone he once knew. I know he met this 20 year-old guy over the internet, that just is exactly his "type". The guy (or you could even call him boy) has already spent the night in our apartment, has slept in my sheets (on the couch, but still). And now as they are becoming "friends" my husband tries to spend every little time he has with him. Yesterday after work he went directly to the guy to spend the night and whole day today. So I'm guessing, it's just a matter of time, till he "practises" his new sexuality.

I guess you can all imagine how that might feel. If only he had left for some other woman, I would at least stand a chance.....

I don't have a minister I can go to, I saw some counsels on my own, but they didn't really help. You see, we live in Germany and these kinda problems aren't really problems here. His mother is even happy for him, at least that's what she claims.

And he's changed. He has become arrogant and cold, acts "cool", dresses differently and kind of tries to get back his teenage years, where "he should have experienced all those things".

I really think I've lost him, but then I think about the man that still somewhere lives deep inside him and it gives me a tiny little hope that he might come to his senses.....

Thanks again for your comments and please do keep them coming.

God bless.

 

[alatir]

The situation sounds almost impossible for you to bear, I have no idea how his wicked life style hurts you. Nothing but divine intervention can put some sense into him it seems, as it is with everyone who has been truly saved. He needs a new heart, he is so consumed by his lusts. I'll pray for you.

 

[Elijah2]

Heavenly Father, we come to You through our Lord Jesus Christ, and we thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, for ALL THINGS in and found in Andy1982’s life.

Lord Jesus Christ, we as You, Lord, to touch Andy’s husband’s eyes and help him to see, give him the ears to hear, and to clear his mind, carnal and spiritual minds, so that they will not be conformed to the world, but be transformed and renewed.

Lord Jesus Christ, we loose every strongman of old, wrong, ungodly pattern of thinking, attitude, idea, desire, belief, motivation, habit and behaviour from his life.

Lord Jesus Christ, we bind his mind and heart, to conformity of Your Will, mind and heart, so that every thought, feeling and purpose in his life will be conformed to You.

Lord Jesus Christ, we bind his feet to the path of righteousness, so that his steps will be steady and sure, as they walk that “narrow path” of holy marriage.

Lord Jesus Christ, we bind his body, soul, mind, emotions, will, heart, pride, and spirit with Your Will and Purposes in his life.

Lord Jesus Christ, we loose the power and effects of seduction, deception, lies and homosexuality from his life.

Lord Jesus Christ, we bind him to Your Truth, and to the covering of his “house” under the protection of his wife’s confession in You, Lord Jesus Christ, with Your Precious Blood.

Lord Jesus Christ, we loose all strongholds from him.

Lord Jesus Christ, we loose the power and effects of any spoken words or curses spoken by him against anyone and himself in the sin of homosexuality.

Lord Jesus Christ, we call forth every precious Word of Scripture that has ever entered into his mind and heart that it would rise up in power within him, even though he is an unbeliever.

Lord Jesus Christ, Teach his heart to see the Truth of YOUR WILL in his life. You are Andy’s Saviour, Lord, King, Master and Prince of Peace, and Andy’s faith the enemy will be overcomed and conquered.

Lord Jesus Christ, we tear down, crush, smash and destroy every stronghold in his life.

Lord Jesus Christ, we thank You, for Your Counsellor, the Holy Spirit that covering him now, and we thank You, Lord Jesus Christ for Your bloodline protection over Andy1982.

Lord Jesus Christ, we thank You, for the Truth of Your Word, because You are the Word for his healing: in his struggles; setting him free from captivity; and delivering him to freedom.

Lord Jesus Christ, we pray and ask all of this in Your Precious Name.

 

[Elijah2]

Here are some sites to view:

Free from the Bondage of Homosexuality:
http://www.exodusglobalalliance.org/freefromthebondageofhomosexualityp7.php

New Covenant Church of God:
http://www.nccg.org/deliverance/index.html

Probe Ministries:
http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/ex-gay.html

Francis Mac Nutt Books:
http://www.christianhealingmin.org/bookstore/macnuttbooks.htm

 

[aldar]

I am sorry, I think you should prepare to leave this man who no longer wants you to be his one and only... husbands don't play these sort of games and marriages don't work this way.
I think you need to leave him if this doesn't end... not get better, this crap needs to come to a screeching halt and stop forever and if he can't do that for you... if he can't commit to you, well then hes no husband and you need to get out for your own sake and find yourself a better life becuase he is destroying you.
He is commiting adultery everyday of his life, you aren't his true love and he simply isn't commited to you anymore. Marriage isn't the place for this sort experimentation, its about promises and eternal commitments and undying love that would never forsake one another. If those things no longer exist, it isn't a marriage anymore. We all have goofy thoughts and desires from time to time... but you don't leave your wife to go and seek them out when that means forsaking your marriage partner, giving another person your love and sexuality, those things belong to no one but you and once your married you forfeit the right to experiment anymore, its was a vow.
The crying and the begging is not a sign of commitment or regret, it means sorrow over the situation they are in. If he can't give you all he is anymore and be your husband I think you should leave him. He isn't trying and failing... he isn't trying at all. I wish I knew something to say to help you... but I don't. Ultamitly I think it comes to what he is willing to do for you and whether or not he really loves you (not just cares for you or "needs" you in his life) someone begging you not to leave doesn't mean they want you at all... it can easily mean they don't want to face the trouble of you leaving, a completely self centered desire.

if im out of line I am sorry... you certainly know the situation better than I. I hope something good eventually comes of this and that your life does get better.

 

[andy1982]

@Elijah - thank you and God bless you for that wonderful prayer! Amen!

@aldar - your thoughts seem logical to me as well, I just can't seem to let go of him, because of what I saw in him all these years. And now everytime he hurts me with his actions and cold behaviour, instead of despising him, I see his "true" face still and it breaks my heart.

I know I can't force him to do anything and I don't want to. I just know that before he met me he was acting just like he acts now and was very lonely. He said himself that I pulled him out of the dark hole he had fallen in and was grateful for that, but over the time the devil's got a hold of him again and now I see he won him over.

I also forgot to mention, that my husband got much closer to his family as we were brought together by our Lord, they accepted me as the member of their family and are now also quite broken-hearted (only his mother and uncle know the true reason of breaking the marriage btw, others are still in dark). In order not to feel guilt, now he avoids any conversations with his parents or grandparents. Also he's not really outing himself, as he doesn't want to be "labeled" he says.

As for me, personally, not have I only lost my husband, but also a dear friend and my only family here (i originate from an eastern european country and have been living in Germany for about 6 years now). He has told his mother that he feels bad to leave me alone, but he just has to think of himself right now. And as I might have mentioned, he told me that he doesn't have to cope with anything, since he doesn't allow himself to think about us and avoids being alone with himself.

It's really really hard to cope with and get confronted with the reality every single day, losing hope. I'm glad to have our Lord Jesus Christ in my life, without him I wouldn't have survived a day of this.

I really hope that Lord will hear our prayers and give him some kind of a sign.

God bless you all for your kindness and support. I appreciate that!

 

[BelindaP]

You are in a truly heartbreaking situation. It sounds to me like he was gay before he met you and that he thought the attraction and bond he felt for you would overcome that. I think you should seek professional counsel of your own. Even if he won't go, you need to be speaking to somebody and take care of yourself.

It seems to me that you have two choices. The first is to continue to pray about it and reach out to him, hoping that he will return to you. If you can get through it and he does come back, you need to decide whether you will be able to repair the damage that has been done to the relationship. I would wager that the odds are very low that he will come back, though.

The second option is to let him leave you. Paul said that if an unbelieving spouse wishes to depart, that you can let them go without guilt. I know this is heartbreaking and that you are lonely, but it may be the best thing for you. Work on moving on with your life. Make some friends so that you aren't alone. If God brings him back, that is great. If not, then you aren't left all on your own.

 

[aldar]

Andy1982,

I hope you make it thru this ok... it is a tragedy that sometimes things like this happen in life and that people who we love so much can do these things to us... I am so sorry. I hope prayer does work for you and that somehow he does come back and that you do not need to leave the man you love so much.

 

[wonderwaleye]

I saw him walking with some guy along the lake and he smiled at me as if i were just someone he once knew. I know he met this 20 year-old guy over the internet, that just is exactly his "type". The guy (or you could even call him boy) has already spent the night in our apartment, has slept in my sheets (on the couch, but still). And now as they are becoming "friends" my husband tries to spend every little time he has with him. Yesterday after work he went directly to the guy to spend the night and whole day today. So I'm guessing, it's just a matter of time, till he "practises" his new sexuality.

Dear you need not guess here, as he has defiled the marriage bed. The best thing to do is keep your eyes on JESUS and keep HIS WORD. Time will pass and if you walk up the path to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD you will know you did the right thing by divorcing him and making a new life for yourself. There may well be someone in the waiting that can give you all the love you deserve.


LOVE


steven