How are you feeling? **Trigger**

[shazabella]

Actually, I feel like I want to cry at the moment!

surviving

you will get through this

Psalm 121 "where does my help come from ..."God is there for us when we have no idea how we are making it through.

- Shaz

 

[shazabella]

everyone,

I just got back from the physio and the doctor last night said i might need an operation to find out what is going on with my knee ... its triggering memories of the worst abuse when dad put me on crutches for 2 weeks over 1/2 a glass of milk and i honestly hate it - crutches aren't a negotiable option , i have serious cartlige damage and limited range of movement. Sorry for venting like this

everyone is doing ok

- Shaz

 

[Surviving]

everyone,

I just got back from the physio and the doctor last night said i might need an operation to find out what is going on with my knee ... its triggering memories of the worst abuse when dad put me on crutches for 2 weeks over 1/2 a glass of milk and i honestly hate it - crutches aren't a negotiable option , i have serious cartlige damage and limited range of movement. Sorry for venting like this

everyone is doing ok

- Shaz

I am so sorry to hear that your knee is not great. Can you try thinking of something good when using your crutches so that it doesn't give you bad memories? Don't worry about venting either...that's what this site is for...support! I hope that you are not in too much pain.

 

[FallingWaters]

... its triggering memories of the worst abuse when dad put me on crutches for 2 weeks over 1/2 a glass of milk

I am so very sorry. I know what you mean about triggers. What your Dad did to you was wrong, excessive and abusive.

I did the wrong thing when something triggered the worst memory of my abuse. I stewed on it. I thought about it. I justified to myself that it was no wonder I hated his guts, I had a right to be angry! I had a right to be resentful!

You know what that did? It stole away every bit of spiritual life I had inside me. After a year of feeling justified for my anger, bitterness and resentment, I was completely carnal. I had no spiritual life left in me. It wasn't worth it.

I counseled with my pastor and he told me to go home and read and meditate on Matthew 18:23-35. I did, and God convicted me that I needed to forgive my abuser. I had to grieve my losses first, but it was worth it. After I forgave my abuser, I felt so free, I felt like I was flying on clouds for a week!

I really hope and pray you can forgive. It will set you free.

 

[shazabella]

How is everyone going ?

- Shaz

 

[Surviving]

I'm feeling yucky today and feel like crying still. I think that's because I'm not well though.

 

[FallingWaters]

I'm feeling yucky today and feel like crying still. I think that's because I'm not well though.

 

[Surviving]

Thank you FallingWaters...I need a hug!

 

[shazabella]

I'm feeling yucky today and feel like crying still. I think that's because I'm not well though.

for you



- Shaz

 

[shazabella]

On friday I finally did my huge law assignment and mailed that then I went back to youth for the first time since perp was there, it was really hard ... I kept wanting to run out of the building but i endured it. A very good friend came with me (the reason why i went in the first place) and it was just awesome to see the way God was working in that place on friday night.

Saturday i was still really nervy and today I'm ok ... just very tired

- Shaz

 

[Surviving]

Thanks Shaz for the prayers.

Well done on making the move in going to the youth on Friday night. That must have been really hard and you took alot of courage in doing this. I'm also glad that you had a friend there to support you. this does make it a little easier for you.

You were probably a little nervy on Saturday because of Friday night. Take care of yourself.

 

[shazabella]

Thanks Shaz for the prayers.

Well done on making the move in going to the youth on Friday night. That must have been really hard and you took alot of courage in doing this. I'm also glad that you had a friend there to support you. this does make it a little easier for you.

You were probably a little nervy on Saturday because of Friday night. Take care of yourself.

thanks surviving

I'm now just on my way to therapy ... my T just told me she is leaving and they are cutting the number of counsellors ... she is my third since march ... . I'm going to see if i can book in and see a counsellor through our church.

- Shaz

 

[Surviving]

I'm sorry to hear about your therapist. That must be really hard for you having to get to know a new therapist each time. You have to learn to build up the trust again. I hope that it goes well for you.

I have my 3rd councelling session tonight.

 

[shazabella]

I'm sorry to hear about your therapist. That must be really hard for you having to get to know a new therapist each time. You have to learn to build up the trust again. I hope that it goes well for you.

I have my 3rd councelling session tonight.

it goes well surviving

I am taking the day off work tommorow - can't handle another day with this one kid ... good thing my boss ( mum) has said i can have a mental health day .

- Shaz

 

[FallingWaters]

I'm sorry to hear about your therapist. That must be really hard for you having to get to know a new therapist each time. You have to learn to build up the trust again. I hope that it goes well for you.

I have my 3rd councelling session tonight.

I hope and pray that it goes well and is fruitful.

 

[Surviving]

I like the sound of this mental health day.

I felt that the session helped me tonight. I am very angry and upset at the moment. What my mum said to me 5 weeks ago has really affected me and I am really down at the moment. I really bottled up my feelings tonight though. I was so close to crying. I did once I got in the car. I have cried so much today!

 

[shazabella]

I like the sound of this mental health day.

I felt that the session helped me tonight. I am very angry and upset at the moment. What my mum said to me 5 weeks ago has really affected me and I am really down at the moment. I really bottled up my feelings tonight though. I was so close to crying. I did once I got in the car. I have cried so much today!

surviving

- Shaz

 

[FallingWaters]

Lonely.
Hopeful.
I am really isolated in my life right now.. and this place seems authentic.. practical.. caring..
It would be really wonderful to have some sisters in Christ to share with as the Lord heals the wounds of our past abuse..

Welcome, Luv. I hope and pray that you will find the support you are looking for, and the healing that you are looking for.

(How old are you?)

 

[Surviving]

Lonely.
Hopeful.
I am really isolated in my life right now.. and this place seems authentic.. practical.. caring..
It would be really wonderful to have some sisters in Christ to share with as the Lord heals the wounds of our past abuse..

I'm sorry that you are feeling lonely. You will find plenty of people around here that will be your friend and also a listening ear. I'm pleased though that you have hope...this is great when you are trying to heal over the wounds from the past. Take care.

 

[shazabella]

Lonely.
Hopeful.
I am really isolated in my life right now.. and this place seems authentic.. practical.. caring..
It would be really wonderful to have some sisters in Christ to share with as the Lord heals the wounds of our past abuse..

for you littlelambchild

- Shaz