Hook me in 20 words or less

[Radagast]

Not again. If I caught my roommate hanging the heads of her victims outside my window again, she would suffer.

 

[Inkachu]

(Proud, your lines are hysterical! They all seem to revolve around violence or weapons, though...is that your subject of choice?)

 

[Inkachu]

"Nobody knew the stress of imagining a world into existence. I mean, good grief, if your mind wandered, entire nations were wiped out."

(23 words)

 

[SpitfireOverThames]

Hanging by mere fingertips from the cliff ledge, Jedidah sneered as he considered the hand held out to save him.

20 WORDS

As a published writer (with a lot to learn!), I want to give some tips that I believe will help others. The thing you want to do in this exercise is to raise as many questions as possible which, when done right, will cause the reader to want to read on. Consider my sentence above: questions arise. Who is Jedidah? What has happened to bring him to this point where he's hanging by mere fingertips? Who is it reaching out to save him? Why is he sneering at the one who has reached out to save him? And then, will he take the hand? Or would he rather die then to take the hand?

Since I love writing, I want to encourage other writers. As I said, I want to learn more, as well. I am now reading Lloyd C. Douglas's THE BIG FISHERMAN, and previous to that, his novel, THE ROBE. Wow! This guy was a master at storytelling, use of language, and creating memorable scenes--as well as creating great characters. I am just in awe of his writing! The neat thing about the above books is that THE ROBE came first, and THE BIG FISHERMAN is intimately connected, to the point that characters from the former book are mentioned in the latter. You know you miss characters when you hear their name and enjoy the mention (and want to know more about them).

Happy writing!
~Sean

 

[Proud Christian 2]

"If I had wings," He began, "I could fly. But we have Military Jets instead, so get into it and be happy?!"

 

[Proud Christian 2]

Inkabink, I do whatever I feel like, but yes, violence is funny if you want it to be

 

[Proud Christian 2]

The bombs were going off. I was running, the shopping bag on my arm, and the gun in my hand. IF only I hadn't robbed that store...

 

[Proud Christian 2]

I was running. He was faster. I jumped. He jumped. I shot a bullet, he shot a bullet. But, what could I expect, he was my shadow.

 

[Avatar]

The day I died started out like any other.

 

[Proud Christian 2]

When he looked at the window, he screamed. Looking at him, from the window, was the man from the dream.

 

[Proud Christian 2]

I love the sound when zombies heads pop off. SAdly, they can always put them back on. THat's why we have guns, though.

 

[Proud Christian 2]

"Die!" He shouted, shooting bullets at me.
"Food!" I shouted, throwing my half eaten hot dog at him.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

Something was behind her, she could almost feel, almost smell its heavy, fetid breath.

 

[tansy]

The sky pulsated with luminescent vermillion, mauve and orange light as spheres of flame hurtled down, killing the earth.

 

[Proud Christian 2]

She said she understood, but I know she didn't. Nobody understands what it's like to have to kill a person a day to live...

 

[Radagast]

Something was behind her, she could almost feel, almost smell its heavy, fetid breath.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

Thanks.

 

[tansy]

This was the spot where I'd stumbled upon her - a little girl, eyes stretched wide with terror, clutching a baby.

 

[SpitfireOverThames]

This was the spot where I'd stumbled upon her - a little girl, eyes stretched wide with terror, clutching a baby.

Wow... So nice! I wanna keep reading!

~Sean

 

[tansy]

Wow... So nice! I wanna keep reading!

~Sean

Thank you