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hi, am deconstructing from toxic religion , looking to find some "nonreligious" christians on here

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by WrappedUpinHisLove3, May 25, 2020.

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  1. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    Hi, am deconstructing from a very toxic background. strict evangelical fundie parents who were abusive. i have come nback to God and been saved since meeeting a Jesus who simply required me to put my trust in Him not my works or anything else for salvation.

    i now go to an easy going small church which is vry spirit filled- people being saved and set free and healed- i enjoy it very much and finding out God is not the angry wrath filled ogre but a good goood father who loves His born again children and holds them secure in His love and patiently allows them to work out tjhe salvation He has given them.

    i do take communion at church when i can, and am reading Acts of the apostles at the moment. been saved since 2006 and set free from leglalism, fear of hell etc

    i battle mental health issues (OCD/scrupulsoity type, BPD, CPTSD eating issues) and physical disabilities and health conditions. i find actual religion hard- i want the kidn of faith which flows from my postion of security in Jesus. i beleive evry strongly in identity teachings (being the righteousness of Christ and holy in Him) and i find most mainstream religion difficult because they seem to condemn me for not being spiritual enough

    i have hobbies i practice psychology and psychotherapy. i believe in emotional wellbeing. i dont cover my hair, eat kosher, i dont really keep any rules on anything and i have no interest in politics, "truther" theories, or anything. a lot of christians think am not spiritual enough or that am lukewarm. i dont tithe but i give money new teastament style, and share what i have when i can. i do speak in tongues and do evangelise. i definitely am born again my testimony proves it, but i just want to a faith which isn't exhausting, draining or makes me feel fukll of fear or trapped.

    are there any other christians out there who hate all the trappings and just want a simple gospel with no plastic on it??

    i dont believe that only 2% christins go to heaven or that we meant tp be sinless before we die. i think we are meant to sin less, as we walk with Jesus. but perfect? nah. we do our best but only jESUS ever met that standard. i fo go dowrks because Jesus saved me. i dont do them to be saved. i dont believe msot modern preachers who say that most christians today aren't saved or loved God enough. that is negative things and i want to concentrate on how Jesus love can empower me to meet the needs of those around me

    i sometimes feel i am on a journey which few understand. i dont want ot go round exhausting myself by naming and claiming it, anointing evrything with oil to drive demons away. i just want to rest in Jesus and Him shpow me what to do.

    i dont believe in guilt, regrets etc the past is the past. i harmed a lot of people in my past, innocent ones, but i know i have been forgiven as Bible says if we confess our sins to God we can be forgiven.... i have just moved on, made new friends, cut ties with the past.

    i have very modern christian ideas eg i dont believe our hearts are wicked, once we born again, we have Jesus in our hearts, He gives us dreams, we can follow them as long sas we are discerning... our hearts arent perfect but we are good.

    i think christian life is just about loving Jesus, serving Jeuss, preaching the gospel, healing the sick, driving out demons etc the rest i have not much time for.

    oh and yes i listen to any Christian music that ministers to my soul, read anything Christian or not that helps me, i love nay good music really, secualr or christian. i think it is pointless givng things up unless they really are sinful or unhelpful.

    i am quite feminist- i believe women can speak in church etc i am very modern and liberal in my views which offend some christians but i expect Jesus had very similar views only He so much better at disagreeing kindly with others (am not there yet, but the Holy Spriit is working in me on that)

    Is there anyone out ther elike me or am i in this alone somehow??? i do feel it sometimes. am ok as long as i in my church, where my views are mostly accepted. but if i fellowship with christians outside of my church, i feel very aalone and start to doubtmy faith as i am not considered holy enough or "conservative enough" to be truly saved.

    it really hurts sometimes oh and i also read Joyce Meyer, Graham Cooke, Henri Nouwen. a lot of whom are regded as heretics or new age or whatever. whoich doesnt bother me in the slightest. God is bigger than all those things. i wil say that i dont believe in things like yoga, tarot cards, ouija or any witchraft. i just dont think psychology, motivational speakers etc are in that caetgory and i like my faith to be practical "how do i apply thi sto my life" not a long lsit of rules or restrcitions.

    anyone out there like me? at all?
     
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  2. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

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    Do you mean legalistic Christians?
     
  3. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    yes. i can't "do" a lot for Jesus because of disability. so am not ready for amore "hardcore" christian life. i think i men christians who dont lay burdens on me. like i dont believe in keeping anything other than the basic commandments and i believe when we love God, neighbour, self etc we fulflt all God's laws. tha ti snot to sy i dont keep the 10 (well, i keep 9 because Jesus fulfilled the Sabbath) and i do keep Jesus words and the other New Testament ones as best i can but some i struggle with. like having to stay in aan abusive marriage because of dying to self and we need to suffer for God;s kingdom, i find that hard because my backgground is mental health and wellbeing related. i beleive very much in the secualr psychologiusts who say self care and self respect are important.
     
  4. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    sorry for typos. my hands shake a bit due to my neuro isssues
     
  5. Goodhuman

    Goodhuman Active Member

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    Matthew 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
     
  6. Franki(ncense)

    Franki(ncense) Relax! Oluwa's running the show... Supporter

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    Sorry, by "Give money new testament style." You mean?
     
  7. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    i like to keep it simple. no conspiracy theories (except maybe Elvis ones!) or " God is mad at the world do we all need to be extra holy" stuff. i just want to carry on in the simple faith i alredy have been given and the revelations of God'S LOVE etc until Jesus comes. sure, i will watch and pray and God canshow me end times stuff but i dont like eatching the news so i dont. i am very laid back and lazy but i do believe in serving and praying for others in need. my friends always phone if they need prayer, which is awesome
     
  8. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    yeah like just giving what i have to givem what i can afford to give, as and when i see a need. not worrying whther it is a lot or a little, because am ona fluctuating income
     
  9. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    amen He has perfected us in His love and made us righteous.
     
  10. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    i do give- i give after bills. i dont believe in debt, so if i gave a huge maount every time i'd go into debt
     
  11. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

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    A lot of Christians are not very merciful. They take Christ’s teachings and use them to bash others over the head with.

    Then there are people that use Christianity as a cafeteria, to twist Christ’s teaching to their sinful desires. Wolves.

    Since you come from such a toxic, legalistic background, I think it is good that you decompress. Spend time alone with God. Do some Scripture reading and let Him guide you during this time.

    I do believe in guilt, we have a conscience for a reason but we must repent and move on as difficult as it is as times.
     
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  12. hedrick

    hedrick Senior Veteran Supporter

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    Yes, there are a number of people like you. There's no one place you'll find them. You might want to check "Egalitarian Christians." That seems to be where the ones I know of hang out most.
     
  13. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    thank you, that is where i will go
     
  14. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

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  15. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    I do believe in guilt up until we repent. so if we confess our sins to Jesus and try stop doing them, we have no reason to feel guilt.... i dont believe in living in guilt forever. i also dont weant to go back to people in my past- i want to cut ties.....forget my sins as it were.....i dont believe in th ebible we have to go back unless we want to reconcile with them and i am ok with not doing that. i dont think my dad will live much longer anyway, so seems pointless to try make amends when we both would rather forget.

    i thionk people who wallow in guilt and are very "woe is me" types with low sefl esteem are probably people who have neevr done really evil things so for them it is easy for them to face themselves


    i will be honest i think i come into the wolf category, someone hwo twauts the Bible to serve my desires..... i left a relationship where i was being ill treated and have refused the call to get married ever since. i also dont want kids, so i have used the bible to justify being on BC and everything. but i il neve go back to him and be reconciled. i was unhappy in that relationship and i dont want another one. this way i am my own woman.
     
  16. Tempura

    Tempura Noob Supporter

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    I do embrace simplicity, and I root my faith in love, Christ's righteousness over mine, and hope against all feeling and circumstances. I've struggled with fear, anxiety and depression my whole adult life. When that gets translated into spiritual matters, it's torment. It's the worst thing. I don't know how many people understand what it can be like. Probably many, but many of them are silent, and I don't blame them.

    I'm not here to judge other servants of Christ even if I disagreed with many of them with all my heart, nor am I here to claim that I am better than them, I am not. I know many of my sins, I cannot afford to judge others or to pretend that I can somehow teach them what to believe or how to live. But I had to let go of obeying fear. Fear, shame and guilt can be useful, it can be corrective and still all be rooted in God's love and care. But for me, most of the time it just goes overboard, it ceases to be useful, it ceases to be corrective, and it just eats away my insides like nothing else, and it becomes about despair at the flick of a switch.

    I embrace simplicity. In these matters, I want to be a child, and I want to be rooted in love and hope. When I believe Christ came down, instead of me having to climb up to meet Him with my own power or righteousness, then there is security, there is hope, there is humility, and loving my neighbor ceases to be a burden, and it becomes an opportunity.

    edit: I don't claim to be non-religious though. I value many things that are inherently religious, and I owe a lot to religion. I value the sacraments. But also, many things that I have severe problems with, are also religious.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2020
  17. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

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    No disagreement here. Not all are called to be married, etc.
     
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  18. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    Tempura, you sound very like me. i have an oversensitive conscience and feel am in torment if i think about any deep religion beyond Jesus Loves Me This I Know. the tears are pouring down my face now as i read this because i jsut have had enough....enough tof trying to be good enough.... to satisy some arbitrary standard.
     
  19. Tigger45

    Tigger45 Apostle John Supporter

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    Sounds like we have a lot in common although I’m in the liturgical & sacramental crowd but I think our current political situation here in the U.S. anyway has exasperated the extremes in perspectives.

    Here are a couple of my favorite relevant scriptures that help mold my paradigm.

    Ephesians 4:15 speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

    John 4:24 “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.”
     
  20. WrappedUpinHisLove3

    WrappedUpinHisLove3 Well-Known Member

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    My mum married an abusive man. think Dave Pelzer;s mother kind of thing. and she was not allowed to leave him because the church forbids leaving due to mental or physical abuse. i wont marry because if the guy turns abusive acording to Jesus i can never leave. this is wht makes me feel that giving up on God for ever. that an dthe constant guilt and torment of my thoughts for never being holy enough
     
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