Hey People :)

[HoosierCanuck]

Yes, some won't. But that's not for us to decide most of the time. If we only post once in reply to someone, and they don't like it, we can't conclude that they will never be satisfied =)

Some people reply several times and still can't seem to get the message across to someone. That's when I figure the person(s) won't be satisfied.

we should try to make amends. If someone takes offense because something I said came across the wrong way, am I not responsible for apologizing for how I said something? I would sure think it'd be a nice thing to do. I'd do it to my friend in real life.

I try to apologize to someone if I think they didn't get what I meant. Usually though instead of 'okay, I understand...moving on' I get another argument about something else I said...then I have to apologize again. Finally, on some subjects I just give up and don't post there anymore. I think that happens to alot of them, honestly.

Not pointing at you, but you'd actually be surprised at the amount of people that think they can do whatever they want online. Sorta like how people act in a car. People don't generally cut people off in grocery stores with their shopping carts, but my goodness, on the road it's a different story. Something about the anonymity and feeling of power.

Oh, I know. When I first got online in the late 90's and wasn't into getting on Christian message boards I have to confess I was guilty. My problem is that I am a smartaleck and it sometimes shows. I try not to do it here when there is a 'serious' conversation going on. Actually....I try to avoid 'serious' because I hate to be serious. I think it's depressing and I've dealt with depression enough as it is.

It's called DIVERSITY. I think it's been mentioned many times here.
Diversity is great. But if your diverse views come off as offensive because of the way you said it, it doesn't matter that the opinion is diverse or different, does it? =)

Again, I TRY not to come across offensive...when I do offend someone I try to apologize and 're-explain' where I was coming from. Again, if they still try to argue with me and seem to be like they are being contrary to everything I say then I just move on. I'm sure it probably comes across like I'm being mean but are you familiar with the saying "you can't help those who won't help themselves." (not "can't" help themselves but "won't" help themselves)

I'm waiting for some people to call for my ban....only because I CARE.
Pardon me for saying so... but since you did post it publically If you know some people have that much animosity towards you, can't you at least pm them and try to "make it up" or something like that? (you might've tried or whatever, but I'm just suggesting. )

I just figure everyone has animosity towards me because I am blunt sometimes. They are open to PM me anytime. Some have and the situation has been cleared up at various times in the past. It's like this.....I'm not liked in the real world so I don't expect to be liked here but that being said...i don't intentionally TRY to make myself unlikeable. It just happens.

 

[mina]

I think we just need to respond in kindness when we don't agree with something. I'm on the discontented "side" I suppose, but I hope no one is mad at me for admitting that. I'm also sorry if I've offended anyone with any of my posts. I see good sides of being single, but not so much so that I want to remain this way forever. That's just my perspective. But I don't think my persective keeps me from fellow shiping with other singles. At least I hope not.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Now we all need to take control of our thoughts and lives. I think we need to try and not be threatened when someone says something different than our own mindset. The devil is haveing a hayday because he is getting the Lord's children to turn on eachother useing this issue. Lets come together and bind satan and throw him out. Together we can do it.

Great advice for everyone (content, not content, could care less, LOL, etc.).

I'm sorry if any of my post has ever hurt anyone. That is NEVER my intention, so if it has I'm sorry. And going forward, if you're EVER unclear about something I've posted, I'm only a PM away (sometimes the mind thinks faster than the fingers can type ).

I'd rather clear up the confusion than to cause a person unnecessary pain

 

[paulewog]

Uh oh, someone who took up my bolding-method of replying hehe.

Some people reply several times and still can't seem to get the message across to someone. That's when I figure the person(s) won't be satisfied.
Sure. Then, if someone replies multiple times and can't seem to get the message across... I'd suggest the person should just stop posting, hehe. Or just post a simple "Well, the discussion isn't getting anywhere. I'll pray for you " (if its truthful anyways, hehe)

I try to apologize to someone if I think they didn't get what I meant. Usually though instead of 'okay, I understand...moving on' I get another argument about something else I said...then I have to apologize again. Finally, on some subjects I just give up and don't post there anymore. I think that happens to alot of them, honestly.
Giving up and not posting anymore is often a very tactful thing to do, heh. Sorta like biting one's tongue in real life. In the figurative sense, not in the sense that you got hit in the mouth and your tongue starts bleeding. (that happened two days ago, hehe)

My problem is that I am a smartaleck and it sometimes shows.
Oh, that doesn't describe me at all *blushes again* hehe.

I try not to do it here when there is a 'serious' conversation going on.
/me blushes again =D

I'm sure it probably comes across like I'm being mean but are you familiar with the saying "you can't help those who won't help themselves." (not "can't" help themselves but "won't" help themselves)
Yes, I am familiar, and to a certain extent, I agree. And I would think that if I felt that way about someone, I may as well simply post something in an attempt to encourage them, and hten just not post anymore. My opinion was expressed, I gave my supportive arguments, I tried to be encouraging and loving... nothing else I can do. The problem is when people get more interested in the debate as opposed to helping the person.

I just figure everyone has animosity towards me because I am blunt sometimes. They are open to PM me anytime. Some have and the situation has been cleared up at various times in the past.
Yay. I wish more people were "open" and pm'd people. The petty grudges that we see among members can be really frustrating (again, not commenting on anyone in here).

*rather different topic*

I wonder where a thread on "contentment" would go, hehe.

 

[joeman1]

Also I want to make a correction the idea to have a celibate partition was not mine. I mean I did mention it here but the credit belongs to Erwin. So if you agree you are agreeing with him I should have made it more clear in my post. I just thought it was a great idea and worth pursueing

 

[Niels]

I think everyone should just realize where other people are and be more compassionate- from both sides.

I agree. And we're not all called to live exactly the same lives as each other. We're a 'body' of believers, made up of various 'body parts', which have different, yet perfectly valid, callings. An ear with hearing problems, seeking a fellow ear to commiserate with, doesn't need a rebuke from an eye for not seeing. We're parts of the same body, so we should try our best to get along without becoming overly divided. Compassion should be extended to those who may have different callings than our own.

 

[Eagle_Wings]

I agree. And we're not all called to live exactly the same lives as each other. We're a 'body' of believers, made up of various 'body parts', which have different, yet perfectly valid, callings. An ear with hearing problems, seeking a fellow ear to commiserate with, doesn't need a rebuke from an eye for not seeing. We're parts of the same body, so we should try our best to get along without becoming overly divided. Compassion should be extended to those who may have different callings than our own.

Beautifully said!

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

If the biggest problem you have to deal with is non-content singles and content singles having a bit of a tiff war, I'd say you're in good shape

Such a small issue compared to some of the major stuff that goes down over here in Life Stages in general. There are some REAL "wars" happening in threads around here at times about major issues that get really heated sometimes and peoples feelings get majorly hurt.

This? This is nothing.. this is the responsibility of individuals not to be so sensitive (involving non-content people lashing back at content people for stating how happy they are or how happy you should be as a single) or to be MORE sensitive (involving content people telling non-content people to be happy with their lives). Divinding doesn't solve problems.

Dividing forums should be for positive purposes around here (the debate forums are different, but here? positive! positive stuff..). If you do it for negative reasons, its called segregation in my book. Lets put these people over here cause these people over there don't wanna hear from them. yeesh, next we'll have the CF washrooms here set up for "contents" and "non-contents"

If we segregate forums I think it should be for debate purposes only, because in that manner you usually want to keep debaters to a specific forum so that the forums stay less confusing. But in fellowship forums like these? Its limitedly necessary (for instance, adding Engagement to the Courting Couples section, this was a positive useful addition)

~ ~

Blue Impulse. Smartest person on the internet!

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Blue Impulse again.

 

[paulewog]

If the biggest problem you have to deal with is non-content singles and content singles having a bit of a tiff war, I'd say you're in good shape
Hehe. Well, if you see another issue, my pm box is open... or you're welcome to even discuss the issue like I started in this thread. This issue, however, was brought to our attention, so we're trying to deal with it... one step at a time

Divinding doesn't solve problems.
I agree, it surpesses them, and that's aobut it.

Lets put these people over here cause these people over there don't wanna hear from them. yeesh, next we'll have the CF washrooms here set up for "contents" and "non-contents"
Or separate drinking fountains

But I agree, which is why I'm very against dividing to get rid of this problem. That does nothing but supress it... pretend it's not there. If that's the best we can do, I can't see how we can all say we have fellowship in the Holy Spirit

 

[silentpoet]

I had a long day yesterday so I could not respond. Though I did think about posting something in this board expressing my opinions and apologies on the matter.

It is hard to understand somebody on a basic level who is called in the same area of your life to the opposite direction. When you hear God's voice saying to you to do this or that, it is overpowering and I at least tend to forget that others are told by God to do different things. For we are members of a Body. Some serve as say a nose, some serve as say a spleen. Different parts and different functions.

I have never set out to attack anybody. At least not with intent, I will admit some of my words were attacking. I offer the excuse that I was trying to stand up for myself and others who were hurt(specifically Raven comes to mind). My actions may have been wrong, but I was trying to do what I felt God would have me do. I will also admit I am not always that good at following God's will. I am a man with human limitations.

I try to offer up what comfort and encouragement I know. And some of that knowledge and insight was bought at a pretty high price. I have gone through a lot of pain. And when somebody tries to tell me it is not pain, it does make me angry. When I am told I don't really hurt then I tend to think less of the other person. I realize this is a mistake, but it is how I feel. So when somebody says something that is the opposite of what God has shown me through my life, I make mistakes of anger. But my mistakes are honestly well intentioned.

I think the verses in matthew 19 bear reading.(I thought it was john in the other thread) Matthew 19:11 "But he(Jesus) said unto them, Not all men can receive this saying, but they to whom it is given." Also verse twelve expands on it. This passage basically answers both sides of the debate. I apologize for any actions/words that did not lead you to feel love, yet also realize that I did not see love through your words either. I am sorry.

 

[joeman1]

I have something to propose to all you singles. I have been thinking and I don't know if this is a good idea or not but I have talked with some of the other staffers and we want to ask you to see what you think. Anyway my thought is this what if we create a thread-not a seperat folder or divide the singles forum-devoted only to lonelyness. I mean then we would not have the multiple threads on the issue and well maybe before a person posts they will see a word of encouragement and will not have to make a new thread concerning this. Anyway just a though what do you fellow single guys and gals think about this?

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I don't see how that's going to make a difference. We've got plenty of threads in here where people post about loneliness. The "problem" comes when people who are content post in those threads. I don't see how making *one* thread averts the "problem" unless you make some criteria for who's allowed to post in there.

 

[joeman1]

Well we were just tossing around the idea and thought if you guys and gals had any suggestions to come on out with them. I think makeing some criteria would be a very good thing.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Well we were just tossing around the idea and thought if you guys and gals had any suggestions to come on out with them. I think makeing some criteria would be a very good thing.

You're toeing the line of segregation there, but it's not a huge deal. Men not posting in the women's forum (and flip flop) is understandable, there's reasons for it.

I don't see a justifiable reason for a lonelyness thread unless it's more of a "Loneliness Support Thread" similar to the Pornography addiction threads.

Looking at it that way I see more validity to your idea.

Moejan, I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscibe to your newsletter.

Then I could be like "Man, those peoples are cray-zee, ain't no way I'm posting in that thread..." <----joke

 

[joeman1]

You're toeing the line of segregation there, but it's not a huge deal. Men not posting in the women's forum (and flip flop) is understandable, there's reasons for it.

I don't see a justifiable reason for a lonelyness thread unless it's more of a "Loneliness Support Thread" similar to the Pornography addiction threads.

Looking at it that way I see more validity to your idea.

Moejan, I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscibe to your newsletter.

Yeah thats what I was thinking the same about it being like a support thread. I guess I didn't word that very clearly but that was my intention. Anyway thats exactly what I was thinking Thanks iklepac13 for making that clear.

 

[JPPT1974]

What matters is an person's heart and character and nothing else at all. God wouldn't want us to have it any other way!

 

[Eagle_Wings]

I think the support thread would be a really good idea.

 

[winglovesall]

Yep, I agree.