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Communication is not just us broadcasting something into the void. Effective communication requires both an accurate transmission of what needs to be said, and that the receiver accurately hears and UNDERSTANDS what is being said.
1 Corinthians 7:14 - For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband
Seek God and remain faithful. When home, do what you can to serve him silently. Things like, ironing his clothes without him asking or making him coffee in the morning or some sort of lunch before you go to work. Service is how you get a man's attention. You may not necessarily serve his body but do serve him in regards to regular living. Figure out ways to make his life a bit more...easier.
If he's a drinker of beer?..Try bringing home a case of the beer he likes and just put it in the fridge. The silent servant is the technique I'd like to call this. You have to win him with silent sanctified service from on High. If he smokes?...buy him a pack of cigarettes. You being a woman after God's heart don't agree with such a habit, however, he's your husband...soooooo...serve him with LOVE.
Being a man, my heart gets softened when a woman does things for me without me asking. She doesn't have to say much but when she takes the initiative to make my life easier it makes me want to do for her the same in return.
He misses your attention?...Well give it to him the best way you can, starting with silent service catering to his every day life. He married you for a reason, and I believe one of the big reasons is that he finds you to be BEAUTIFUL. Soooooo, when able, simply wear things that would..have him to look at you but wouldn't be derogatory towards the roommate. You as his wife knows what he likes OUTSIDE of sexual encounters. It's the things you do OUTSIDE of SEX...that draws a man in.
I'm sure you have a phone as well. Text him. Sext him. Those nights when he's...OUT ALL NIGHT....and you're at home...put on something erotic and take some selfies that would have him drop his jaw when he looks at his phone. Remind him that he's a married man...that has something good at home.
All the while, you're still seeking God cause in doing these things...your husband possibly may not even respond in the way that you'd like?...but ultimately your life is to please God, not him. So in pleasing your husband even when he's not pleasing you...PLEASES GOD.
Matthew 5:43-48 - " You have heard that it was said, " You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Not saying that your husband is your enemy but this does apply to the popular situation that many married couples go through in regards to feeling like you're being a wife to your husband but he's not being a husband to you. Remain faithful in your God given role as a wife, be the wife regardless if he's being the husband he should be or not.
Not too long ago I was having some issues in my marriage and took on the responsibility of being the LOVE that LOVES regardless. In serving my wife and catering to her, regardless of how I feel in reference to where I think she should be in her walk in Christ, I still cater to her and have shown her LOVE in spite of the things that she enjoys that I don't necessarily agree with.
As an end result?....Marriage is freakin' amazing right now. And she's slowly showing the change that I been looking for. Surely, this formula can work for you as well, cause it's biblical.
I am going to be the love that loves regardless... Thank you!
1 Corinthians 7:14 - For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband
Seek God and remain faithful. When home, do what you can to serve him silently. Things like, ironing his clothes without him asking or making him coffee in the morning or some sort of lunch before you go to work. Service is how you get a man's attention. You may not necessarily serve his body but do serve him in regards to regular living. Figure out ways to make his life a bit more...easier.
If he's a drinker of beer?..Try bringing home a case of the beer he likes and just put it in the fridge. The silent servant is the technique I'd like to call this. You have to win him with silent sanctified service from on High. If he smokes?...buy him a pack of cigarettes. You being a woman after God's heart don't agree with such a habit, however, he's your husband...soooooo...serve him with LOVE.
Being a man, my heart gets softened when a woman does things for me without me asking. She doesn't have to say much but when she takes the initiative to make my life easier it makes me want to do for her the same in return.
He misses your attention?...Well give it to him the best way you can, starting with silent service catering to his every day life. He married you for a reason, and I believe one of the big reasons is that he finds you to be BEAUTIFUL. Soooooo, when able, simply wear things that would..have him to look at you but wouldn't be derogatory towards the roommate. You as his wife knows what he likes OUTSIDE of sexual encounters. It's the things you do OUTSIDE of SEX...that draws a man in.
I'm sure you have a phone as well. Text him. Sext him. Those nights when he's...OUT ALL NIGHT....and you're at home...put on something erotic and take some selfies that would have him drop his jaw when he looks at his phone. Remind him that he's a married man...that has something good at home.
All the while, you're still seeking God cause in doing these things...your husband possibly may not even respond in the way that you'd like?...but ultimately your life is to please God, not him. So in pleasing your husband even when he's not pleasing you...PLEASES GOD.
Matthew 5:43-48 - " You have heard that it was said, " You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Not saying that your husband is your enemy but this does apply to the popular situation that many married couples go through in regards to feeling like you're being a wife to your husband but he's not being a husband to you. Remain faithful in your God given role as a wife, be the wife regardless if he's being the husband he should be or not.
Not too long ago I was having some issues in my marriage and took on the responsibility of being the LOVE that LOVES regardless. In serving my wife and catering to her, regardless of how I feel in reference to where I think she should be in her walk in Christ, I still cater to her and have shown her LOVE in spite of the things that she enjoys that I don't necessarily agree with.
As an end result?....Marriage is freakin' amazing right now. And she's slowly showing the change that I been looking for. Surely, this formula can work for you as well, cause it's biblical.
YAY...I think it's going to be okay. I stll have all my hope, no matter what he thinks or says. I think, I hope, the marriage counseling will help us. I still have hope!
This is a really common issue---where people want to RUN from their conflicts (and escape through outlets like drinking...etc). I hope you two have found a counselor that will help him face his conflicts--and even better--work WITH you through them.
