I'm from the US. 20 year old male here. Been feeling for also about 2 years since I was 18. I can't say forsure any of us are damned and without hope but I do have an idea now of w hats going on. And plainly stated only few are chosen for heaven, many are called but few are chosen. There is a reason why the road to heaven is called the narrow one and it's not meant for everybody. God only shows his mercy and patience to those whom he truly loves. He does not love everybody as shown from the passages shown in revelation about the seven churches and how the people were "shown" how much God loved "his" people. I have felt empty and not caring now too. I have no emotion, my own mother is in this aswell. She has been dealing with this now for 7 years. She was the most God fearing holy woman I have ever met, her fall is when the enemy told her she had commited it (a demon or devil) kept making her think she did, and out of despair she cried out to God and God left her with silence. I'm angry everyday at God for throwing away such a godly woman who deeply loved him. My fall was sexual sin. Inlet the church when I was only 13 and never came back. Apparently I had just barely enough knowledge to be considered responsible for this "sin" of apostasy but my heart wasn't hardened until shortly after I graduated highschool, still just a young dumb teenager that thought I could "just be a Christian" later in life after I had my fun. I read about how "merciful" and "loving" and "patient" God is and I read story's of backslidders who have strayed farther and linger than me and I question why I couldn't be restored but they could and it dawned on me that sadly, yes God does have favorites. He may call many to his kingdom but he didn't CHOOSE all that he calls. I am constantly angry at God now for killing my soul off so early in life. Barely an adult. No real life experience and the only knowledge I had of the bible was my 2 short years of being a Christian as a child. I was going to kill myself a few days ago but couldn't muster the courage to do so. I will never be able to love a woman because I'm not capable of love. I'll never be able to just go outside and enjoy the fresh air and sunlight because I am without peace. I'll never be able to love my family. I am the definition of useless. I am constantly thinking evil thoughts that I can't control for the life of me. The only peace I get is when I sleep and the only thing I can look forward to is death so it all just goes away. All of this happened to me so fast. I wish I could go back and change myself but my appetite for sexual desires at such a young age has blinded me and hardened me. I don't know if God is even capable of softening my heart and that's why he isn't. Maybe he wants to but is unable because there isn't even a heart there to soften. Or he is just outright angry at me for caving in to my fleshy human needs. I guess I'll have to ask him when I meet him. But the though of him throwing my mother whom loved him deeply and was a godly woman into a ever burning fire creates the deepest anger I can even manage at God. Maybe his patience with us has just grown short because his son is returning soon and he knew we wouldn't make it even if we had soft hearts. In the end it doesn't matter. Now I just thank God that hell isn't eternal and it is literally just a second death we will experience after our first which will then just be a black abyss of nothing. I wish the best for both of you. I'm sorry we had to be born in this world so set up against us. I feel as if I have been apart of a big setup by God. How can he tell us to forgive others an infinite amount of times but he won't do the same for us. What ever happened to "lord forgive the sins of my youth" I see so many promises in the bible but I don't see them in this world. Best wishes -jake
Hi Jake, Julien, and Galnaros,
Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 11:3,4 But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the
simplicity that is in Christ. For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him.
It seems that the legalistic teaching that you have been under is really causing all your problems. Paul tells us that there is simplicity in Christ. He gives us
the gospel in 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 How that Christ died for our sins, was buried and rose again. In verse 2 he tells us that if we believe that we are saved.
You guys seem to be adding all kinds of works for your salvation when Paul clearly teaches it is not of works. In Ephesians 1:7 he tells us
we have redemption through Christ's blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.
Some verses that prove that it's
not by our works but only by trusting in Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection that we are saved:
Romans 4:5 But to him that
worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly,
his faith is counted for righteousness.
Ephesians 2:4-9 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace are ye saved) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that
not of yourselves: it is the
gift of God:
Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Titus 3:5
Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but
according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
God is not mad at us. It just seems that way because we think he is mad at us because of our sin. Study Colossians 1:21 closely and you will see he is not mad at you.
Col 1:21 And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies
in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled (22) In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreprovable in his sight: (23) If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister;
Col 1:21 says "enemies in your mind". God says he's already reconciled, but because of sin (wicked works), in our minds we think we're alienated and enemies. That's not what God thinks. He doesn't consider us alienated and enemies. Notice that it's already done, past tense:
yet now hath he reconciled.
Run away from legalistic preaching. Don't listen to it at all. The false prophets that preach that message don't know how to rightly divide the word of truth so they preach a message that was delivered to Israel when they were under the law. That message was never to us, and our Apostle Paul tells us salvation is not by our works of righteousness. It's only by trusting what Christ has done for us.
