I want to be able to be so happy again that I write textbooks full with words like: God is great, God is love etc. I still have a notebook which I kept save that shows that I was totally in love with God back then.
I am sure that he is my Lord and Saviour and I have told him before. During my 'spiritual experience', let's call it that, I made promises to God and I haven't kept them, not even close. I have found an Evangelic Christian community which welcomed me with open arms. I will meet the head of the community coming sunday. He told me that it was God who brought us together and that everything will be fine after all. Our meeting via e-mail so far, has managed to give me some hope, so I'm not 100% hopeless..for now.
[EDIT] I can't even get around the fact that He ís my Lord and Saviour, but it doesn't come from actual faith anymore. It's because I have experienced the power of the Holy Spirit. The way it transformed me was wonderful to say the least. All my friends told me aswell.