- Jul 22, 2017
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Today I am finally going to church. I have social anxiety. And I get vertigo when I am outside. I have an extreme fear of wide open spaces. I do well when I am inside a building; but when I step outside, I get extremely dizzy.
I was able to buy myself a mobile scooter with a canopy, which closes me in when I use it. It works. In fact, I was able to go to McDonalds with that scooter; and I was even able to cross the street. The canopy makes me feel safe because it closes me inside the scooter. I don't know if you are able to understand what I mean. For example, when I am outside, I feel like I will fly into outer space. There is an open area where I feel exposed, and there is nothing to protect me from flying out into space. That is how it feels when I am outside. But the canopy has a top and I can close it because the door zips up. I had to take out loans in order for me to buy this scooter. And a family friend put it all together for me. Now, I can leave the house. I did leave the house with the help of other people, for I am a full time college student, but I couldn't do it myself. They would pick up at the door, and I could walk short distances with a walker to the bus. Then they would drop me off in front of the door. But now I am able to travel with my scooter with the canopy.
I am extremely nervous about going to church. It is extremely easy to notice me when I show up at places with my scooter. I feel that everyone is judging me. I don't make connections or friends easily because people find me weird because of my disability. I don't even make good connections in church, so I am not expecting to make any friends when I go to church. I just want to go there to listen to a sermon, and be encouraged, and then leave as quickly as possible. I hate the attention that I get when I show up in my scooter.
Could you pray for me?
I was able to buy myself a mobile scooter with a canopy, which closes me in when I use it. It works. In fact, I was able to go to McDonalds with that scooter; and I was even able to cross the street. The canopy makes me feel safe because it closes me inside the scooter. I don't know if you are able to understand what I mean. For example, when I am outside, I feel like I will fly into outer space. There is an open area where I feel exposed, and there is nothing to protect me from flying out into space. That is how it feels when I am outside. But the canopy has a top and I can close it because the door zips up. I had to take out loans in order for me to buy this scooter. And a family friend put it all together for me. Now, I can leave the house. I did leave the house with the help of other people, for I am a full time college student, but I couldn't do it myself. They would pick up at the door, and I could walk short distances with a walker to the bus. Then they would drop me off in front of the door. But now I am able to travel with my scooter with the canopy.
I am extremely nervous about going to church. It is extremely easy to notice me when I show up at places with my scooter. I feel that everyone is judging me. I don't make connections or friends easily because people find me weird because of my disability. I don't even make good connections in church, so I am not expecting to make any friends when I go to church. I just want to go there to listen to a sermon, and be encouraged, and then leave as quickly as possible. I hate the attention that I get when I show up in my scooter.
Could you pray for me?