Give "Bad" Advice (2)

[jsimms615]

Dip your head in black paint and just hold it in the paint can for a couple of hours. Problem solved.

I got a library book from the library, but it really isn't that good, but I don't want to take it back. What should I do?

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

Give it away to a street person; they have so little educational material.


The next door neighbor lets his dog bark while he's away at work which according to city ordinances, to a point, is fine until 10p.m. or even 11p.m. How can I get the dog to take a break if not

???

 

[lucypevensie]

Offer to adopt the dog. Dog won't be lonely anymore, and you will have a new companion!

How do you know when it's time to call the vet?

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

At the first sign of stiff legs and bloody drool: Vets are busy with emergencies!:o

My best friend's 2-year-old daughter has hair already half-way down her back and took scissors to it (said 'hot'), she really cut it here, there, everywhere. Mom doesn't want to cut it 'even' and short so what should she do?
:o

 

[lucypevensie]

Contact some of the moms on the TV show Toddlers and Tiaras. They often have experience with ruined hairdos. They would probably also be generous with other makeup and clothing tips for you. Not only get her hair fixed, but get her dolled up pretty!

Ugh! Both my dog and my cat have a health concern. I'm worried my vet will think we are mistreating our animals and I'm afraid to talk to him. What would you do in this situation?

 

[jsimms615]

Randomly give the animals your medication until they are well



I really wish my library was open 24 hours a day. the library hours are so limited in this town. What should I do?

 

[lucypevensie]

Stay till closing some night and conveniently get locked inside. Darken the windows with black paper so no one will see the lights on. Doesn't this sound fun?

My kids want to do something fun today, but they're only interested in doing things that cost a lot of money or are a long drive away. Don't think we'll be able to do something fun today unless someone can give us some advice...

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

Bake dessert from scratch using whatever ingredients you have in the kitchen--under the sink (Borax instead of sugar), next to the faucet like liquid soap, shaved scented candles:

Tell them 'we are making this special treat for cockroaches--don't worry, they'll come to us!--and we're doing this out of respect; cockroaches have been around longer than anything we know of; they'll eat just about anything including children who sit or lie down in one place too long!

Your kids will entertain themselves FAR away from you for the rest of the day, so enjoy yourself (take a long drive, go somewhere expensive for dinner, whatever you like because you earned it!).

My left eye keeps itching, I am out of allergy meds; will some other kind work, if so, what exactly; if not, got any alternative ideas for me to try?

 

[jsimms615]

try rubbing some preparation H on your eye. That should help.


I like my pastor, but I'm not crazy about the worship music. Should I try a different church or how should I let them know I don't care for the music?

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

Don't wait to be asked even the first time, LEAD, brother, LEAD. Just walk right up front, microphone in hand (a hair brush works just as well as an ink pen to project your praise song) and pick an appropriate one like right before the collection plates go round:

Paying Your Tithe - YouTube

A neighbor has a terrible toe nail fungus and as this is San Diego, warm most year round, and now fall when I start to take frequent daily walks, I run into this dude a lot, and frankly, he's making me sick: If I don't look down he draws my attention to his feet by groaning and stopping suddenly to inspect them... No matter which path I take on the complex grounds, it seems I'm always running into him: Please someone take pity on me and tell me how to get the picture of this man's feet out of my mind?!?

 

[Woman of Faith]

Bring a hatchet with you next time you go for a walk. When you see him, chase him with the hatchet and call out, "I'll fix those toes for you!" Not only will he avoid you in the future, but you'll have the entertaining picture of him running and screaming in your mind rather than the picture of his feet.

It's unusually cold here this morning and I have no heat! The a/c works just fine, but no heat. What can I do?

 

[jsimms615]

you could start a fire in your living room, never mind if you don't have a fireplace, they are overrated.


I have a paper due this week, but don't really feel like writing it. What should I do?

 

[lucypevensie]

Instead of writing, just talk to the teacher. Say you had some kind of trouble this weekend and were unable to write the paper. Then hand Teacher a piece of paper and pen and tell him to handwrite your dictation. If he wants your opinion so bad he'll have no choice but to comply.

When my daughter goes to youth group, they always play sports at the end, and my daughter hates playing sports. What should she do?

 

[jsimms615]

She should stage a sit in on at the church and chain herself to the altar in protest.


I would really like it if I was good at video games, but I really am horrible. What can I do?

 

[lucypevensie]

You can learn to improve your scores if you only spend a lot of time at it. I'd say you should spend at least 3 hours per day for about a year. Instead of playing at home, go play at an actual arcade. By feeding quarters to the games you will feel greater pressure to try harder to succeed.

We only have one bathroom in our house, and sometimes the morning shower rush leaves someone running behind in their personal schedule. Showering together is not an option. What would you do?

 

[ICOCguy]

Grab a face cloth and head to the toilet bowl..


I`m out of toothpaste. whats the best substitute?

 

[lucypevensie]

haha - grab your toothbrush and head to the toilet bowl. But seriously, sand is pretty abrasive just like toothpaste. Get your toothbrush wet and dip it into some playground sand. A whole bag will last you a lifetime.

Oops, my debit card expired and caused one of my automatic payments to not go through. What if these people get mad at me for not getting their money? What if they won't accept my cash payment instead?

 

[ICOCguy]

Than teach them Zumba and they will be satified.


What talent should i do for a talent show contest?

 

[lucypevensie]

Do your very best Barrack Obama impression. Pretend you are him giving a stand up comedy monologue.

I'm having bit of a hard time figuring out my new cell phone. Who should I ask for help?

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

Me. I don't have, nor have I ever had, a cell phone, therefore I don't have my head jam-packed with preconceived notions regarding how cell phones work. I know, for starters, they work on D-batteries, so call me?

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The middle of my back keeps itching, and I can't reach it with my arm behind my back; what should I use to relieve the itch?