Give "Bad" Advice (2)

[Matthew-59]

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[seeking Christ]

Tips for driving in a snowstorm? Those are plentiful and easy. First of all its very important to press very hard on the gas pedal because you need to push harder to get through the snow. Get that much right and it really helps because you need enough speed to keep going, just like if you were on skis. Next, you don't have to worry about clearing your windows or windshield because our heater will melt all that soon enough, and besides you won't be able to see anything in a snowstorm anyway.

Now what can you do for electric car windows that are all the way down and stuck?

 

[Matthew-59]

Steal some new ones from an auto parts store.

What can I use to clean my computer's monitor screen?

 

[MoneyGuy]

What can I use to clean my computer's monitor screen?

A sandblaster is guaranteed to get rid of the dirt on your monitor.

What are some good indoor activities for a cold winter afternoon? (It's not cold today but for the next cold snap.)

 

[.Iona.]

Javelin.. it's become very popular as an indoor sport recently.. try throwing it really hard.

I'm out of toothpaste.. what should I do?

 

[Matthew-59]

You could substitute by using hemorrhoid cream. They're basically made of the same ingredients anyway.

What should I eat for breakfast today?

 

[captainkate]

Twinkies and potato chips! Yum

What's the best way to get kool-aid out of the carpet?

 

[Matthew-59]

Grab a straw and start sucking the kool-aid out of the carpet. You can sprinkle a little sugar on it first if it's gone stale. Please be aware that this entire procedure may take a while, but you should have it completely clean before you'll need to go to the bathroom. However, depending on how much kool-aid was spilled, it may be handy to have a port-a-potty nearby just in case.

What should I do with all of the snow that's falling down outside?

 

[MoneyGuy]

What should I do with all of the snow that's falling down outside?

Nothing. Don't shovel again this winter. Mother Nature will take care of it, so why bother.

What should I put onto my home-made pizza?

 

[captainkate]

Try some GAK! Its a Klingon delicacy.

How do we get the kids to stop whining!?

 

[MissRowy]

good ol duct tape will fix that....otherwise send them to the neighbours

what should I do tomorrow?

 

[lucypevensie]

Turn on the Tv first thing in the morning. Watch soap operas in the morning, game shows ij the afternoon, reality shows in the evening, and infomercials late night. Remember to eat meals. I recommend pizza delivery.

What's a nice way to ask a favor of someone?

 

[MoneyGuy]

What's a nice way to ask a favor of someone?

Say, "hey, idiot, I needs ya to do me a kindness. By the way, you smell bad and yer ugly, too." That will butter the person up.

Should I drive my car or motorcycle tomorrow? We have lots of snow.

 

[lucypevensie]

Stick your motorcycle in the trunk of your car. That will give your car some weight and keep you from slip-sliding away.

I left my boots in the car. How will I get them out since I want them now for walking out to the car?

 

[Habakk]

Stick your motorcycle in the trunk of your car. That will give your car some weight and keep you from slip-sliding away.

I left my boots in the car. How will I get them out since I want them now for walking out to the car?

Go on the internet and order some new boots a size too big. Use them to walk to the car and get your old boots. Then return the new boots because they are the wrong size.

What should I have to eat for my dinner?

 

[lucypevensie]

Apple pie, chocolate cake, peanut butter cookies, coconut bonbons, blueberry cheesecake, and a diet soda to drink.

How can I keep my hair from getting messy in this wind?

 

[captainkate]

LOL Yes, diet soda! You have to cut down somewhere u know.

Shave off all your hair and viola! No fuss. No mess

How do I get rid of Texas fire ants?!

 

[MoneyGuy]

How do I get rid of Texas fire ants?!

Are they in your house? Burn it down. Fire ants deserve fire. If they're not in your house, torch them anyway.

It's 0 degrees C here. What should I wear tomorrow?

 

[Matthew-59]

Wear a bikini and flip-flops.

I've lost a few pounds and my pants are getting too loose. What should I do about that?

 

[MissRowy]

get some barbed wire and make a belt for yourself

I need to buy some things..what should I buy?