Friendship problem

[iceqube]

Hi everyone,

I am currently in a friendship problem with a girl. Last year I admitted to the girl I liked her and it went downhill from there. I was also quite clingy and texted her a lot. Our friendship ended over the summer. Before that we were really close friends and would always help each other. She wanted to re-enter the friendship a month ago and has placed many restrictions to just be classmates and talk only about school stuff. We ignore each other outside of classes and say nothing to each other. She said she put limitation on the friendship to protect her happiness. I am not sure how to proceed from here. Is there any way to ask her for forgiveness and forget the past? I am unsure what to do.

 

[Goodbook]

maybe just write her a note or short letter saying you sorry and hope she will forgive you.
Don't text her and just wait until she responds before starting again. Am sorry to hear about this but girls really don't like being hassled by boys all the time and if its just one boy whos always close it kinda ruins friendships with everyone else not just other boys but other girls.

 

[rob_aston]

I am unsure what to do.

i understand, relationships can drive u crazy.God (there are 4 lines in this post-two are in bold font, another in grey and blue font and another in grey font...the blue word is a link to my blog, where by the rules of this forum, i place prophetic words)

 

[rickster]

She wants to use you for answers for homework/class work/tests. She won't hang out with you outside of class because you bring too much drama to her (clingy).

You should proceed by going no contact with her and finding friends who will treat you better.

 

[Goodbook]

I wouldnt assume she wants to 'use you' but its good to find other friends who are ok with you and you can hang out with them without them feeling like they being smothered.
its ok to like someone but that doesn't mean you own them and they can be your ONLY friend.

 

[mojoboy31]

Hi everyone,

I am currently in a friendship problem with a girl. Last year I admitted to the girl I liked her and it went downhill from there. I was also quite clingy and texted her a lot. Our friendship ended over the summer. Before that we were really close friends and would always help each other. She wanted to re-enter the friendship a month ago and has placed many restrictions to just be classmates and talk only about school stuff. We ignore each other outside of classes and say nothing to each other. She said she put limitation on the friendship to protect her happiness. I am not sure how to proceed from here. Is there any way to ask her for forgiveness and forget the past? I am unsure what to do.

Dude... She has to limit your friendship to protect her happiness? Like your some kiND of drain oN her life?... Bro, she's treating you like a doormat. Run. Run and escape. Find someone who actually appreciates you, amd doesn't treat you like you have to shelter them from yourself.

 

[iceqube]

she seems pretty stern on the limitations. At first she didnt even want to associate with me then she said she can't live with that decision and only want to be schoolmates and nothing else.

 

[Jack of Spades]

If you confess feelings to a friend, there is a risk that the friendship goes south, and it sounds like that's what happened to you two.

If you ever end up in the same situation again with somebody else, just know the next time that telling a friend that you like her, and if she doesn't feel the same way, it makes the girl feel for a moment very paranoid about not giving you any signs of interest, and you gotta respect that by giving her space, until things are back to normal.

With some people, it can turn out well. I have once done it with a close friend, she rejected me so gently that it was almost a pleasant experience (lol), it was never brought up again, and we remained good friends afterwards for years.

 

[Swan7]

Is there any way to ask her for forgiveness and forget the past? I am unsure what to do.

This really stuck out to me. Why are you asking for forgiveness? You haven't done anything wrong from where I sit (part of the audience reading a post). All you did was tell her you liked her. Her reaction is just her reaction and I'm sorry to see it ended a good friendship. I'd say just let her be and let her figure it out for herself, she could be confused. Don't let this bother you too much, people come and go (speaking from experience).

 

[iceqube]

This really stuck out to me. Why are you asking for forgiveness? You haven't done anything wrong from where I sit (part of the audience reading a post). All you did was tell her you liked her. Her reaction is just her reaction and I'm sorry to see it ended a good friendship. I'd say just let her be and let her figure it out for herself, she could be confused. Don't let this bother you too much, people come and go (speaking from experience).

I am assuming she didn't like me texting her all the time and being around her all the time. I am thinking of asking her for forgiveness for that and giving her more space

 

[Goodbook]

nobody likes people texting them all the time its really annoying. Plus if she responded she would use up all her data.

I think the way she reacted was something a lot of girls would do to keep themselves sane. I don't think she's treating you like a doormat just setting boundaries. Please respect them. If you done something wrong or crossed the line then yes, apologize.

 

[Swan7]

I am assuming she didn't like me texting her all the time and being around her all the time. I am thinking of asking her for forgiveness for that and giving her more space

Ahh, I see. Sorry about that! I hope the rest of what I said helped even a little bit.

 

[ReesePiece23]

The people who don't mind, matter. But the people who mind, don't matter.

Basically, find a better friend. Because friendships come without restrictions.

 

[Swan7]

Because friendships come without restrictions.

That is exactly what I was trying to say!

 

[Sketcher]

Did she tell you that you said or did something inappropriate?

If so, apologize for that.

If not, you need your space from her.

 

[iceqube]

Did she tell you that you said or did something inappropriate?

If so, apologize for that.

If not, you need your space from her.

She said she wasn't happy last year. So I am guessing she was annoyed by me texting her too much and being around her a lot. I wish she told me last year.

 

[Sketcher]

She said she wasn't happy last year. So I am guessing she was annoyed by me texting her too much and being around her a lot. I wish she told me last year.

Well, that's ambiguous. That's not exactly doing her wrong.

 

[Jack of Spades]

Because friendships come without restrictions.

Is that even possible? I think the opposite way, that it's a healthy relationship where people are allowed to set limits and both respect each others limits.

I think if you think about it, all friendships actually have restrictions, whether those are said out loud or not. Like, for the most classic examples, if my female friend is in a relationship, I wouldn't ask to stay overnight in her place. Or, with guys, I don't flirt with my friends crush if I know about it.

And yeah, I do agree that in the OP's case the limits sound excessive, but generally speaking about limits I mean.

 

[iceqube]

is there any way I could ask her to reconsider the limitations or should I not even bother?

 

[Goodbook]

I think you a bit cut up by this...asking her would just be annoying her again.
I think its better to be around friends who are I suppose more tolerant and like you back but also let that teach you that that kind of behaviour annoys most people it won't be just her.