Boyfriend/girlfriend stage not legit?

[peaceful-forest]

I saw this post on social media.

While the author is right that boyfriend/girlfriend is not in the Bible, she makes it seem like it's something wrong to do. She relates it to sexual sin.

What are your thoughts on it?


My thoughts, I don't see anything wrong with having a boyfriend or girlfriend. I consider that part of the relationship valid. I see it as a male and female have decided to be exclusive with each other and are in the process of finding out if they are compatible and right for each other for marriage.

 

[bèlla]

While I wouldn't say it's wrong per se. This is a subject where common sense and wisdom are required. Most people don't want to be alone. That's the first principle we must remember. But just because they don't want to be alone doesn't mean they want to spend the rest of their lives with you.

For the majority, dating is nothing more than meantime connections. Relationships they indulge until they meet the one they want. Many remain attached consciously aware there's no future for them. But it's familiar and comfortable.

Oftentimes it's the woman who's waiting. Spending their youth in dead end relationships that never amount to anything. It's profoundly foolish and they're usually devoid of sage advice. Relying on friends for input who are equally immature. And they stumble together.

Just because a person desires marriage doesn't mean they're marriage minded and many confuse this. Marriage minded people pair with that in mind and don't waste their time on connections that won't meet that end. You won't tie them up for years. They're not waiting on a proposal. They know where they stand and discuss their progression towards it.

I don't support the cart before the horse camp which is usually the result of partnering without intention. They give away too much of themselves to their detriment. That's why there's so much bitterness and jadedness. Opening your heart to this one and that one has consequences. The majority is the result of misplaced hopes and dreams that will never come to pass.

The number one quality you need to choose a life partner is an ability to see what's there. That's the number one reason people marry the wrong person. They don't see what's before them. They impose their wants and wishes on the other and call it them.

There's a practical answer to the question. What is your pattern?

Do you pick good suitors?
Do you choose good friends?
Do you pick good jobs?
Do you make good decisions?

All of the questions are related to your welfare. If you're not in the habit of making good choices in those areas why would dating be different? It's the same brain.

I believe less is more is best and courtship is ideal. Dating has become largely dehumanized and I don't believe that honors God. However, if dating appeals you must be willing to accept the good and bad. There's a difference between courtship and dating and the difference is God.

You'll be more discriminating about your conversations and interactions. You may have a couple that advises you or a process you're undertaking for greater clarity. There's an end in mind and you're not in the dark. You're moving ahead together.

If you have difficulty holding yourself now what will you do when you're sitting beside someone who tempts you? If you're easily influenced how will you resist the one you like? Most people would be bettered by courtship. They're inexperienced, immature, don't make good decisions, have difficulty controlling their flesh and don't have anyone to turn to.

God never intended us to be islands unto ourselves. This is the most important decision you'll make besides faith and the majority are going it alone. You're a Christian but no one's praying on your behalf. You're supposed to have someone who comes alongside and holds you in prayer during this period. Which means praying for you several times per week until its answered.

You're a Christian but no one's fasting on your behalf. When you say you can't meet anyone or you're not meeting the right people that's when you call a fast. That's when you commit to a period of denial to get the breakthrough you lack.

You're supposed to have a brother or sister walking beside you that's invested in your betterment. They encourage and support you and remember you before the Lord. Because love makes you pray. The more you love someone the more you pray on their behalf because you want God's best for them. Strangers do the same when the Lord gives them a burden about a person or circumstance.

You should have mature believers in your sphere. People who've walked the road you're traveling and excel where you're lacking. People who can tell you hard truths and point out the landmines ahead. Most people get advice from others in the same boat that's why they're stuck. It's the blind leading the blind.

You need wisdom to discern a person's character and intentions. You can't rely on your thoughts and feelings. It isn't difficult to tell a person what they want to hear. All they have to do is listen.

When you're contemplating lifelong connections you have to begin with God's standard. We have a host of biblical examples. Who do they bring to mind? If you can't see similarities in them and men and women of God there's a problem. It doesn't matter how many boxes they tick in the world. If they don't have the right foundation you're making a mistake.

Your spirits should bear witness to one another. If being in their presence doesn't draw you closer to the Lord. If hearing their hardships doesn't drive you to prayer and they don't foster a hunger for God in their discourse. Why are you there? It's unlikely to change.

Dating is the devil's answer to courtship. That's how he works. He creates a variation. Fornication is his answer to marriage. Don't expect God's results in the devil's playground because the rules are different.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

According to Genesis, the only "ritual" of marriage is a man and a woman leaving their parents and coming together to live together and sex consummates the marriage.

In fact, there is no ritual involved in marriage at the very beginning.

The marriage rituals we later read in the Bible, were purely man-made traditions not necessarily approved by God.

The Israelites kept doing things God doesn't want like having a man for a king, instead of having only God as king. To the Israelites, it wasn't enough because they kept on coveting/envying the customs and traditions of their neighbors who worshipped false gods.

Don't be mistaken that everything you read in the Bible is good to do. Polygamy is obviously not a good thing as an example. You got to go back from the very beginning, from the Book of Genesis to watch things unfold as men and women adopted traditions from unGodly men and women that God didn't like. Because the Bible is also essentially a story book or even 'historical documentation', it needs to write these things too, including things God didn't approved of to tell the whole story. Although the Bible sometimes explicitly mentions what things are good or evil, there are also many occasions it didn't.

No rituals at all. In fact, your first BF or GF may already be your husband/wife in the eyes of God. Be careful eh?

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

According to Genesis, the only "ritual" of marriage is a man and a woman leaving their parents and coming together to live together and sex consummates the marriage.

In fact, there is no ritual involved in marriage at the very beginning.

The marriage rituals we later read in the Bible, were purely man-made traditions not necessarily approved by God.

The Israelites kept doing things God doesn't want like having a man for a king, instead of having only God as king. To the Israelites, it wasn't enough because they kept on coveting/envying the customs and traditions of their neighbors who worshipped false gods.

Don't be mistaken that everything you read in the Bible is good to do. Polygamy is obviously not a good thing as an example. You got to go back from the very beginning, from the Book of Genesis to watch things unfold as men and women adopted traditions from unGodly men and women that God didn't like. Because the Bible is also essentially a story book or even 'historical documentation', it needs to write these things too, including things God didn't approved of to tell the whole story. Although the Bible sometimes explicitly mentions what things are good or evil, there are also many occasions it didn't.

No rituals at all. In fact, your first BF or GF may already be your husband/wife in the eyes of God. Be careful eh?

Right on. That is really all that makes a marriage, biblically speaking..at least from what I can tell, one man and one woman in agreement on it and consummation.

Wonder if that lady is married and had a wedding. Nothing wrong with that in and of itself. But many of the practices of modern weddings actually originated in druidic witchcraft, or ancient pagan fertility rites. Such as wedding rings for one example, and in fact, the placement of it is also symbolic, on the ‘ring’ finger..I won’t get into all the details here but it is in relation to divination/astrology, and yes, pagan sungod worship. The wedding bouquet, the garter belt tradition, the flower girl tradition and more originated from ancient pagan rituals. Maybe that is why so many marriages fail? There is nothing ‘Holy’ about these matrimony rites at all.

"Many of today's marriage customs have pagan origins. The shared wedding cake, tossed rice, and flowers are all old bits of fertility magick."
—Edain McCoy, Sabbats: A Witch's Approach to Living the Old Ways, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2002, p. 167, ISBN: 9781567186635

There is plenty more but don’t have time to get into all that. For those who speak always of ‘Christian liberty’ in regards to certain things they totally twist that way out of context. We don’t have liberty to partake in paganism.

“For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”
—Galatians 5:13

“Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.”
—Jeremiah 10:2

There’s nothing wrong with the wedding get-together itself at all, Jesus Himself went to one in Cana, John Ch. 2..why not just keep it as a get-together of friends and family and food, drink..just a simple celebration..eliminate all the pagan rituals and vanity like ‘rehearsals’. Even the vows exchange tradition is pagan, it originated from the druidic rite of hand fasting. In fact that is how the rockstar Jim Morrison, a very non-Christian man, was wed to one of his ladies, though it was never recognized by the govt, since there was no license. Which ironically, could make his marriage more biblical in that regard than most Christians, since I do not see the government being involved in marriages in the Bible but I am not 100% certain on that I haven’t looked into it much.

Romans ch. 13 does say we are to obey the law of the land (so long as it does not go against our Faith) but hey, ‘separation of church and state’ as the atheists and pagans always love to say in my country, haha.

I don’t believe your first boyfriend or girlfriend qualifies as your spouse though, whether or not there was ‘’relations’. I think this scripture backs that up, since it seems fornication and adultery are distinguished. From what I can tell anyway.

“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”
—1 Corinthians 7:2

So, yeah that lady, if she is married likely did a bunch of witchcraft and pagan fertility rites at her wedding but is complaining about what courting people call each other..take the beam out of your own eye Lady LOL. Funny thing is, I doubt she would be living up to her internet handle ‘Godly womanhood’ if I were to tell her this. She’d likely lash out in anger like many churchfolk do when their beloved traditions are exposed as spiritual wickedness. God is very forgiving of ignorance though. Just found it ironic is all, that lady talking this nonsense of what courting couples call one another, that is a non-issue.

 

[bèlla]

The woman in the OP has been married for 44 years and has been ministering on the subject for 13 years online with Titus 2:3-5 as her barometer. I am familiar with her work and while I don't agree with everything she says she's broaching the subject biblically, sharing her experiences and supporting women.

It's easy to share your opinions in the shadows. Because no one's listening. You're doing it under a pseudonym and don't have to account for your statements. You don't have to defend your beliefs or answer questions about your behavior.

But there are those the Lord calls from the shadows. They're not meant for the sidelines. He raises them up and provides a platform for the work He's called them to perform. I enjoy supporting the men and women who embrace their assignment and work tirelessly for the Kingdom.

With that in mind...

@GodBeMercifulToMeASinner,

It is interesting you mention the beam in your response when you're exhibiting the same. Your comments were tactless. There is no need to assault her character. You don't know her. You can disagree without getting personal.

~bella

 

[Citanul]

My thoughts, I don't see anything wrong with having a boyfriend or girlfriend. I consider that part of the relationship valid. I see it as a male and female have decided to be exclusive with each other and are in the process of finding out if they are compatible and right for each other for marriage.

I'm in complete agreement with you. To go straight from single to betrothed seems ridiculous. Surely there needs to be a transition period between those two states.

 

[LoveDivine]

I think the distinction should be that Christians date with marriage in mind as the end goal. I think it is okay to commit to someone to spend time with them exclusively to see if there is true compatibility prior to agreeing to an engagement. I do think the way many Christians treat dating is wrong though and it does often lead to sexual immorality and other issues. You really should be viewing all the time spent with someone ( i.e dates) as part of your assessment process for marriage. It's not about having a boyfriend/ girlfriend. I do agree with much of what @Bella posted earlier.

I also think it's very dangerous and silly to say that marriage is essentially taking a woman into your house and consummating. We have vows and a legal process for a reason. Marriage laws protect families and legitimize unions. These aren't pagan laws. God himself gave rules to Israel through the law of Moses to govern every aspect of their lives including marriage. The Jews had marriage contracts and wedding celebrations with rituals. I mean, by what is being posted in this thread by some, Joseph and Mary would be pagans too. Joseph was troubled because he was already betrothed to Mary. They already had a contract in place. He had to break that and put her away ( if he was going to end things). He was going to break the contract privately and send her away. A marriage is a contract between two people who vow to honor each other. They vow this in the presence of God. That is ordained by God and those vows are what make a relationship a marriage.

Otherwise, if anyone has ever lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend for even a short period of time, they would be married. They would have to be considered a divorcee then when the relationship dissolves. This is obviously not the case and the Bible makes a clear distinction between fornication and marriage. So let's not get silly here and condemn weddings. Being contrary to all law and order will end you up in all manner of foolishness

 

[timewerx]

I also think it's very dangerous and silly to say that marriage is essentially taking a woman into your house and consummating.

A "one night stand" is fornication.

Marriage in Genesis is more in the context of moving to live with someone you've chosen as your lifelong partner (in a mutual sense).

It almost sounds like the modern concept of marriage, except there are no rituals involved, no vows, no human witnesses (with only God as witness), no officiating person. Costing only 0 cents (if you exclude the moving together part).

The anti-spiritual nature of man have always sought for material alternatives. A human king instead of God as king, human witness/officiator for marriage instead of just God, and of course, it has to be expensive.

Otherwise, if anyone has ever lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend for even a short period of time, they would be married.

Not usually.

One of the basic requirement in the Bible is living together. A "marriageless" partnership could be considered marriage in Genesis, if the couple is living together and committed to each other for life.

Ironically, in some countries, couples living together who are not married in a traditional sense are treated in the same manner as married couples, both informally and legally.

So let's not get silly here and condemn weddings

Same way I don't condemn politics.

I'm just saying God would be happier if we only did it His way from the very begin. The Israelites coveting their neighbor's worldly traditions and worldly system did not please God. But out of their stubbornness, God allowed it but not to bless them but make things harder for them. Sure, they became rich but they were also miserable and horribly messed up like Kind David and King Solomon.

Most Christians don't even know Jesus don't want us to be making vows. But it's right there in the Bible.

Now to make myself clear, I don't mean to say the "Genesis Marriage" means you can just leave your wife or husband if you don't like them anymore. It would still be divorce if you did that (in the eyes of God).

 

[LoveDivine]

A "one night stand" is fornication.

Marriage in Genesis is more in the context of moving to live with someone you've chosen as your lifelong partner (in a mutual sense).

It almost sounds like the modern concept of marriage, except there are no rituals involved, no vows, no human witnesses (with only God as witness), no officiating person. Costing only 0 cents (if you exclude the moving together part).

The anti-spiritual nature of man have always sought for material alternatives. A human king instead of God as king, human witness/officiator for marriage instead of just God, and of course, it has to be expensive.



Not usually.

One of the basic requirement in the Bible is living together. A "marriageless" partnership could be considered marriage in Genesis, if the couple is living together and committed to each other for life.

Ironically, in some countries, couples living together who are not married in a traditional sense are treated in the same manner as married couples, both informally and legally.



Same way I don't condemn politics.

I'm just saying God would be happier if we only did it His way from the very begin. The Israelites coveting their neighbor's worldly traditions and worldly system did not please God. But out of their stubbornness, God allowed it but not to bless them but make things harder for them. Sure, they became rich but they were also miserable and horribly messed up like Kind David and King Solomon.

Most Christians don't even know Jesus don't want us to be making vows. But it's right there in the Bible.

Now to make myself clear, I don't mean to say the "Genesis Marriage" means you can just leave your wife or husband if you don't like them anymore. It would still be divorce if you did that (in the eyes of God).

I disagree, but I don't want to reply to all your points since the OP was about dating and whether the idea of a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship was legitimate.

If you don't think that marriage requires vows made in the presence of God and witnesses that is your perogative. Personally, I feel that every aspect of a Christian's life should be conducted decently and in order and above reproach. These anti-marriage posts start to sound like the attitude in Israel during the book of Judges. That every man did what seemed right in his own eyes. The Israelites didn't decide to make marriage vows, circumcise their sons, offer burnt sacrifices for sins, etc to copy their pagan counterparts. On the contrary, God gave them the ordinances through the Mosaic law to separate them from the laciviousness and fornication so prevalent within pagan societies. Christ even refers to the laws given to them by Moses concerning divorces, because of the hardness of their hearts. Which means, that humans need rules to guide them to do the right thing. Christ never abolished the laws, but rather appealed to them to have more compassion and go above and beyond the letter of the law. In other words, even if there was a loophole that allowed a man to legally put away his wife, forgive her instead. However, nowhere ever does he say stop making marriage contracts and vows. The vows he tells them not to make, are ones that involved invoking the name of God and heaven as surety for promises they flippantly made. Even Paul made vows. So what you are saying is not accurate Biblically


Marriage rules were instituted by God to actually protect humans from their own folly and sinfulness. You can't compare what was practiced pre-law of Moses to what came after. The law brought light and instruction to Israel and prepared them for greater light in Christ. It's just silly to say that marriage does not require vows. That is essentially what marriage is: a binding promise to remain forever with the other person. If any contract requires at least one or a few witnesses to validate it, why should marriage ( arguably one of the most important contracts in a person's life) be exempt.

 

[timewerx]

I disagree, but I don't want to reply to all your points since the OP was about dating and whether the idea of a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship was legitimate.

I'm not actually drifting off topic on this one.

The OP is indeed about the validity of BF and GF stage as it pertains to the Bible.

You won't find the words "BF" and "GF" in the Bible. Yet, if you act in a certain way in a bf/gf relationship like deciding to move in and live together indefinitely, you might in fact be marrying that person already according to the book of Genesis.

Personally, I feel that every aspect of a Christian's life should be conducted decently and in order and above reproach.

We try our best to look as blameless to other people and not become their stumbling block.

However, at some point, we can't compromise our values too much or we end doing exactly the same things as unbelievers.

Luke 6:26
Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.

God gave them the ordinances through the Mosaic law to separate them from the laciviousness and fornication so prevalent within pagan societies. Christ even refers to the laws given to them by Moses concerning divorces, because of the hardness of their hearts. Which means, that humans need rules to guide them to do the right thing. Christ never abolished the laws, but rather appealed to them to have more compassion and go above and beyond the letter of the law.

Ironically, the traditional wedding traditions most Christians know originated from pagan rituals.

How is traditional marriage rituals more compassionate when people are throwing obscene amounts of money into these rituals and have nothing to give to the poor?

Jesus did talked about who are those who will be saved and one of their qualities is they help the poor. I'm not saying that helping the poor will get you saved. But if you are truly saved, you will possess the desire the help the poor.

These anti-marriage posts start to sound like the attitude in Israel during the book of Judges

I never wrote anything about avoiding marriage. I simply wrote the bare basics of what it takes to get married according to the Book of Genesis.

In fact, I'm going to say this now, if you are strongly compelled to get married, then pray to God about it and I hope you find the best partner for you who truly loves you.

Are you sure it's my post you meant to quote?

 

[timewerx]

There’s nothing wrong with the wedding get-together itself at all, Jesus Himself went to one in Cana, John Ch. 2..why not just keep it as a get-together of friends and family and food, drink..just a simple celebration..eliminate all the pagan rituals and vanity like ‘rehearsals’.

Pay attention very carefully to those verses. When Mary asked Jesus to solve the wine shortage problem, His response strongly suggested he didn't want to help.

Although Jesus did helped with the wine problem anyway, he didn't sound happy doing it.

If I'm going to speculate, Jesus avoided doing anything at the wedding:

- He didn't want to become famous as unlimited wine maker
- He didn't like attending weddings (The Genesis marriage did not include gatherings)
- He foresaw the miracle at Cana would confuse so many Christians in the future. Of whether Jesus promoted consumption of alcoholic beverage or liked wedding rituals that were adopted from pagans.

The wedding bouquet, the garter belt tradition, the flower girl tradition and more originated from ancient pagan rituals. Maybe that is why so many marriages fail? There is nothing ‘Holy’ about these matrimony rites at all.

"Many of today's marriage customs have pagan origins. The shared wedding cake, tossed rice, and flowers are all old bits of fertility magick."
—Edain McCoy, Sabbats: A Witch's Approach to Living the Old Ways, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2002, p. 167, ISBN: 9781567186635

There is plenty more but don’t have time to get into all that. For those who speak always of ‘Christian liberty’ in regards to certain things they totally twist that way out of context. We don’t have liberty to partake in paganism.

Exactly.

It's definitely not me with unstable mind distorting Paul's scriptures, turning God's grace into license for immorality (we are free to do all we want).

What's worse today are people trying to make it as expensive as they can afford. While having all the money to spend on unGodly rituals, they have no money to spend on things Jesus wants us to spend our money on.

 

[bèlla]

The OP is pertaining to the validity of boyfriend/girlfriend pairings not pagan rituals or wedding expenses. If you want to address that please start another thread.

~bella

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I saw this post on social media.


View attachment 344676


While the author is right that boyfriend/girlfriend is not in the Bible, she makes it seem like it's something wrong to do. She relates it to sexual sin.

What are your thoughts on it?


My thoughts, I don't see anything wrong with having a boyfriend or girlfriend. I consider that part of the relationship valid. I see it as a male and female have decided to be exclusive with each other and are in the process of finding out if they are compatible and right for each other for marriage.

It was more of a cultural thing back then...what is stated in the quote. Shoot, women were treated almost like slaves in a sense as they were arranged marriages, they were used as a form of barter. Like if a man would trade his oxen or whatever and the father would hand over the daughter to him as is wife.

Basically, women didn't have much of a choice in the matter, when it comes to who they were paired up with.

 

[Saucy]

Just because something isn't in the Bible doesn't mean it's wrong. There are lots of things in the Bible that would be wrong, like polygamy. God didn't condone polygamy, but some people do it because it's in the Bible, so it must be good and ordained by God! Arranged marriages were a cultural norm and nowhere is it commanded in scripture. The only thing commanded of us is sexual purity until marriage. And dating doesn't automatically lead to sex before marriage. It takes both people in a relationship to decide up front that they will save themselves for marriage and help each other keep that promise before God.

 

[bèlla]

Basically, women didn't have much of a choice in the matter, when it comes to who they were paired up with.

As you can see there's pros and cons to everything. When arranged marriages were the norm you didn't have relational imbalances because the parents were involved and usually made the agreements. Now that's no longer the case. There's a small minority of Christians who do the same or have some measure of parental input. The question is are you better off?

My daughter's in that minority. I won't choose him. But she's received instruction over a lengthy period on the subject. Both in what constitutes a gentleman, the characteristics to look for in a potential suitor, what marriage entails, her responsibilities, familial concerns, children, etc.

Christian principles accompanied the other later on. But she knew what to bring home. That's how were girls were taught. While attraction is a factor you're operating within parameters beyond the norm. It isn't one-sided. You're considering their makeup in your criteria.

Oftentimes when that's the case they move in the same circles. You know the parents or meet them through shared interests and an acquaintance develops. You're looking for people who share your values and want insight on the family composition. You're bringing two units together and you're looking for harmony.

Marriage is a merger. You're tying bloodlines together and forging a future. You'd better know who you're pledging to.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

The OP is pertaining to the validity of boyfriend/girlfriend pairings not pagan rituals or wedding expenses. If you want to address that please start another thread.

~bella

I am on topic.

I keep saying at some point, a BF/GF relationships turns into marriage when it meets the requirements of what constitutes a husband and wife relationship according to Genesis.

- Both left their parents and move in together at the same house to live together.
- They become one flesh. I think this is interpreted as loving each other as their own flesh, not just sexually but in everything.
- There are no rituals involved and there is no newer Biblical process that replaced it.

There are many bf/gf relationships in such arrangement.

That makes certain arrangements of bf/gf relationships valid, although in that case, they're no longer just bf/gf but are married to each other.

The point I'm trying to make is we can't just dismiss any bf/gf relationship as invalid or nothing.

This is probably significant factor to the high divorce rates. We don't take bf/gf relationships seriously enough. Many married couples are probably divorcees already before their first "ritualized" or legal wedding.

 

[timewerx]

Just because something isn't in the Bible doesn't mean it's wrong.

I know you're not replying to my post but I find this interesting.

Just to clarify my points so far about "ritualized weddings".

Even if ritualized weddings is not a sin. But even if it is, you can always run towards God and repent. No big deal as long as you don't abuse God's grace and mercy, you'll still end up great.

So we can assume even if you had ritualized wedding, it won't make you any less of a Christian.

But here's a problem. If you assume that marriage only applies to those who underwent ritualized or legal weddings is making a dangerous assumption. If any of your past bf/gf relationship met the Genesis requirement for marriage then you are married already. If you did a ritualized wedding with the only BF or GF you ever had, then no harm done I suppose.

But if you did a ritualized wedding with a different person than your first serious BF/GF where the relationship met Genesis requirements for marriage, it makes you a divorcee marrying another person. Which becomes a sin of adultery.

Even if pagan wedding rituals isn't a sin, it misleads/deceives you into thinking that it's the first ever valid marriage you ever did.

Probably why divorce rates are so high. People unknowingly/out of ignorance have entered relationships that already constituted marriage according to Genesis and they never knew. And since they don't know, they don't take the relationship seriously. And when they get into their first ritualized/legal wedding, they treat it the same way, that's why divorce is so rampant.

 

[bèlla]

How is traditional marriage rituals more compassionate when people are throwing obscene amounts of money into these rituals and have nothing to give to the poor?

Jesus did talked about who are those who will be saved and one of their qualities is they help the poor. I'm not saying that helping the poor will get you saved. But if you are truly saved, you will possess the desire the help the poor.

This is not on topic and the suggestion is unkind.

Having a nice wedding doesn't mean you're neglecting the poor.
Having experiences others don't doesn't mean you're neglecting the poor.

And being poor doesn't give you carte blanche to berate Christian spending habits. There's no way you could make that statement without intimate knowledge of their resources which you don't possess.

The spirit of accusation is prevalent and inspires judging, criticism and faultfinding. Which doesn't embody the qualities we're meant to have as followers of Christ and demonstrate during our fellowship.

The finger-pointing needs to stop. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory. No heart is blameless.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

This is not on topic and the suggestion is unkind.

Having a nice wedding doesn't mean you're neglecting the poor.
Having experiences others don't doesn't mean you're neglecting the poor.

And being poor doesn't give you carte blanche to berate Christian spending habits. There's no way you could make that statement without intimate knowledge of their resources which you don't possess.

The spirit of accusation is prevalent and inspires judging, criticism and faultfinding. Which doesn't embody the qualities we're meant to have as followers of Christ and demonstrate during our fellowship.

The finger-pointing needs to stop. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory. No heart is blameless.

~bella

It's usually what they say. They can't be saying so passionately about one thing and actually do the opposite or acting against it. Doesn't make sense.

I have been a huge sinner and still a sinner. But some things has to be said because the church never preaches about these things from the Bible. Luke 19:40.

They don't know the bare essentials of marriage. Else they would have issued more severe warnings about BF/GF relationships. The warning is not make people avoid such relationship but to treat these relationships with extreme care and caution because they may end up getting married to the person without knowing it. At least setup boundaries within that relationship like avoiding living together unless your 110% sure they're the person you want marry and live with the rest of your life.

 

[bèlla]

I have been a huge sinner and still a sinner. But some things has to be said because the church never preaches about these things from the Bible. Luke 19:40.

This isn't a church and you are neither judge nor jury.

Nor have you championed the poor and needy in the past. Most especially, when your circumstances were in better straits. You lived your life according to Christian principles. Much like those you accuse.

It was only when you joined the downtrodden that enlightenment arrived. Not in your travels or far flung assignments. You discovered the truth when your circumstances presented needs that your loved ones were unwilling to meet.

While it's unfortunate you can't blame the church because your relatives were unwilling to help. You can't blame the church because the people in your environment wouldn't lend a hand. And with all your allegations I've yet to hear how the poor have been bettered; how you've improved your environment and so on.

That's the difference between burdens and gripes. Holy burdens always proceed a work. You're given a mission and people to serve and the Lord funds it.

That's why there's no platform: No blog, podcast, eBooks, or YouTube channel. That's what follows when you have a message. He provides the forum and brings the audience.

That's why there's no partners. When you have a God-breathed mission He draws people to you. Some offer advice, resources, or volunteer to help. Some provide instruction or donate their services.

But that isn't possible until you move beyond the hurt. You don't get the mission until it happens.

~bella