Feeling unwanted

HarborOrange said:

So basically, you're in the opposite situation that I'm in. I was like that last year, went to a rather large private school, I started freshman year, and went there until sophomore year ended. It was like a prison for me. Everyone there had gone to middle school with each other, except for me. I had moved to Colorado, where I live now, in 8th grade, and had only made one friend, who is still going to a totally different high school. He's still my closest friend, besides my little brother.
I was so alone in my old school. And I mean so so alone... I ended up just sitting at some table, wherever I could find room. Lunch was always awful because I felt so alone... I didn't resort to eating in the bathroom stall though haha, I couldn't do that... It's really sad that you're feeling that down that you eat in there, I'm not gonna lie, it's probably nice just being away from the kids though. I'd of done that, but I figured I might as well just eat alone, since I was always alone anyway.
Considering I went to a heavily indoctrinated Lutheran school, and I changed from being a Christian to a Messianic in my freshman and sophomore years, I felt even more out of place. Every once in awhile, usually once a week, I'd be called a Jew, or people'd make fun of me for it.
I'd try to talk to people, and then it'd always come out that I didn't have any friends, and they'd instinctively say "Ah, I'm your friend!" then they'd wander off down the halls, and not acknowledge my existence for the rest of the day, or week. I always had to force them to talk to me. And since I was the only kid in my school that enjoyed stuff besides sports, I didn't fit in with anyone, since it was basically a school filled with jocks.
In the presence of others, people are most alone. I mean, like you go sit in the bathroom, because you don't feel so alone there, I'd frequently sit in the back of the room, because the further I could get from people, the better I felt... So I totally know where you're coming from. This year (my Junior year.) I went back to homeschooling, I go to a school two days a week though, where I can meet people and get extracurricular activities and stuff. And it's so much better. I've met kids that like me, that are actually friends, that talk to me on their own accord, they don't just ignore me, and hardly anyone there is a poser.

If I have any advice for you, it's to stick to who you are, if people don't like you for who you are, it's their loss. Of course, I don't know you at all, but I'm assuming you're a good girl, and probably worth knowing... Don't change just to "fit in" it's only high school anyways... But, don't assume you're worthless, because you're not. G-d has an immense purpose in your life, one greater than anyone knows. We all have meaning, so you are, by no means, meaningless.
And also, what I've learned, is that the people that are seen as down and out, who are outcasts in the school... The nerds, the loners, they're usually some of the nicest people you'll ever meet.
Get to know them if you haven't already, they'll most likely appreciate some company. The people who are seen as "popular" are all just faking, and most of them will get out of high school, not knowing what to do with their lives, they'll end up being rather unsuccessful. Nerds usually progress and get more likeable and successful as time goes on. I mean, I know it seems looked down upon to talk to kids who are seen as nerds, but who cares what other people think? It's more worth it to have a good, decent, and trustworthy friend than be surrounded by people who are not themselves...

And, if things don't improve, just know that it's just high school, it's the point in life when almost everyone is their most immature, it will get better. There is nothing that is forever except for G-d himself, and what he deems to last forever. Keep your head up and just look at every day as a new day, with new opportunities, and new people to meet. If your friends aren't there for you, they aren't friends, which means there's nothing wrong with hanging out with new people, getting to know new people... Of course, this is sorta hard if you're shy. I was pretty shy, and still am, but if you build up enough strength to go talk to some people, you won't regret it.

I know I'm not the best advice-giver... But, hopefully that helped somewhat. And hey, if all else fails, look for different schools, but avoid private Christian schools. They're awful, worse than publice schools... I know this because I went to one. My friend that I mentioned earlier loves his public school, and he and I think alike, so I'd like it too. But the kids in private Chrisitian schools mostly seem to be hypocrites, and it's a bummer... But after all this time, I still think homeschooling's the way to go. If it doesn't work for you, remember, there are always other schools and options out there for you.

G-d bless, I hope everything works out for you.
Oh, and sorry for it being so long lol.

My advice to you, i

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