Feel like I am beyond God's reach

[JesusisLord7]

Hi, I have been a born-again Holy Spirit filled Christian all my life, since I was a child.

In 2018, I had been getting some thoughts I did not want and suppose I did not understand they were already forgiven, so I did not need to let it affect me. I had a spiritual attack where I thought I lost salvation. I found out I hadn't lost it and God brought me through that time and showed His incredible love for me. I got so close to God that year and He helped me to overcome, even though my mind had been affected.

Holy Spirit cleared up my mind in 2019 from intrusive thoughts. It was a miracle.
By the end of 2019, a few things happened which made my mind feel weak again and the same thoughts affected me. I did not know how to overcome it.

I started 2020 feeling quite overwhelmed but held on to Jesus.
He gave me an amazing victory in February and I felt wave after wave of His love and grace and power wash over me.
In March, we were warned at church not to doubt God. How I felt at the time made me still have some doubts and I even feared losing Him. I don't why this was an issue for me but I think it was because of the spiritual attacks that happened from getting so many thoughts.

So many attacks keep happened and I felt very isolated and trapped. I felt like I could not escape the attacks happening with the slightest doubt or fear.
God gave me rainbows a sign with coronavirus, a sign of His promise being true.

I am absolutely desperate for restoration and hope of Heaven. Life is so hard right now and I can bearly cope thinking I will be condemned to hell. I just can't bear it.

Every day I am trying to come to terms with what has happened to me.

I don't feel like doing any work, everything seems pointless now.

Eternity only matters and I need to know I am saved.
I want Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me again. I am absolutely desperate. I need another chance.

 

[BrotherD]

Hi, I have been a born-again Holy Spirit filled Christian all my life, since I was a child.

In 2018, I had been getting some thoughts I did not want and suppose I did not understand they were already forgiven, so I did not need to let it affect me. I had a spiritual attack where I thought I lost salvation. I found out I hadn't lost it and God brought me through that time and showed His incredible love for me. I got so close to God that year and He helped me to overcome, even though my mind had been affected.

Holy Spirit cleared up my mind in 2019 from intrusive thoughts. It was a miracle.
By the end of 2019, a few things happened which made my mind feel weak again and the same thoughts affected me. I did not know how to overcome it.

I started 2020 feeling quite overwhelmed but held on to Jesus.
He gave me an amazing victory in February and I felt wave after wave of His love and grace and power wash over me.
In March, we were warned at church not to doubt God. How I felt at the time made me still have some doubts and I even feared losing Him. I don't why this was an issue for me but I think it was because of the spiritual attacks that happened from getting so many thoughts.

So many attacks keep happened and I felt very isolated and trapped. I felt like I could not escape the attacks happening with the slightest doubt or fear.
God gave me rainbows a sign with coronavirus, a sign of His promise being true.

I am absolutely desperate for restoration and hope of Heaven. Life is so hard right now and I can bearly cope thinking I will be condemned to hell. I just can't bear it.

Every day I am trying to come to terms with what has happened to me.

I don't feel like doing any work, everything seems pointless now.

Eternity only matters and I need to know I am saved.
I want Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me again. I am absolutely desperate. I need another chance.

You have confessed your sins, and in heart put them away. You have resolved to give yourself to God. Now go to Him, and ask that He will wash away your sins and give you a new heart. Then believe that He does this because He has promised. [CSA 29.4]

Let us turn to the story of the paralytic at Bethesda. The poor sufferer was helpless; he had not used his limbs for thirty-eight years. Yet Jesus bade him, “Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.” The sick man might have said, “Lord, if Thou wilt make me whole, I will obey Thy word.” But, no, he believed Christ's word, believed that he was made whole, and he made the effort at once; he willed to walk, and he did walk. He acted on the word of Christ, and God gave the power. He was made whole. [CSA 30.2]

In like manner you are a sinner. You cannot atone for your past sins; you cannot change your heart and make yourself holy. But God promises to do all this for you through Christ. You believe that promise. You confess your sins and give yourself to God. You will to serve Him. Just as surely as you do this, God will fulfill His word to you. If you believe the promise,—believe that you are forgiven and cleansed,—God supplies the fact; you are made whole, just as Christ gave the paralytic power to walk when the man believed that he was healed. It is so if you believe it. [CSA 30.3]

Do not wait to feel that you are made whole, but say, “I believe it; it is so, not because I feel it, but because God has promised.” ... [CSA 30.4]

Ellen G White

 

[Phronema]

You're not beyond God's reach. Nothing/nowhere/no one is beyond His reach. He is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. The only unforgivable sin is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, and you've clearly not done that because you're here asking this question, and you're concerned about it.

Don't lose hope though. We all sin everyday, and we have to pick ourselves up with His help, and keep having faith in Christ.

I'd just add that being "saved" isn't a one time event. It's a life long process that we should be working toward on a daily basis. Constantly striving for the Kingdom in thought, word, and deed. Just don't give up.

 

[JesusisLord7]

You have confessed your sins, and in heart put them away. You have resolved to give yourself to God. Now go to Him, and ask that He will wash away your sins and give you a new heart. Then believe that He does this because He has promised. [CSA 29.4]

Let us turn to the story of the paralytic at Bethesda. The poor sufferer was helpless; he had not used his limbs for thirty-eight years. Yet Jesus bade him, “Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.” The sick man might have said, “Lord, if Thou wilt make me whole, I will obey Thy word.” But, no, he believed Christ's word, believed that he was made whole, and he made the effort at once; he willed to walk, and he did walk. He acted on the word of Christ, and God gave the power. He was made whole. [CSA 30.2]

In like manner you are a sinner. You cannot atone for your past sins; you cannot change your heart and make yourself holy. But God promises to do all this for you through Christ. You believe that promise. You confess your sins and give yourself to God. You will to serve Him. Just as surely as you do this, God will fulfill His word to you. If you believe the promise,—believe that you are forgiven and cleansed,—God supplies the fact; you are made whole, just as Christ gave the paralytic power to walk when the man believed that he was healed. It is so if you believe it. [CSA 30.3]

Do not wait to feel that you are made whole, but say, “I believe it; it is so, not because I feel it, but because God has promised.” ... [CSA 30.4]

Ellen G White

You have confessed your sins, and in heart put them away. You have resolved to give yourself to God. Now go to Him, and ask that He will wash away your sins and give you a new heart. Then believe that He does this because He has promised. [CSA 29.4]

Let us turn to the story of the paralytic at Bethesda. The poor sufferer was helpless; he had not used his limbs for thirty-eight years. Yet Jesus bade him, “Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.” The sick man might have said, “Lord, if Thou wilt make me whole, I will obey Thy word.” But, no, he believed Christ's word, believed that he was made whole, and he made the effort at once; he willed to walk, and he did walk. He acted on the word of Christ, and God gave the power. He was made whole. [CSA 30.2]

In like manner you are a sinner. You cannot atone for your past sins; you cannot change your heart and make yourself holy. But God promises to do all this for you through Christ. You believe that promise. You confess your sins and give yourself to God. You will to serve Him. Just as surely as you do this, God will fulfill His word to you. If you believe the promise,—believe that you are forgiven and cleansed,—God supplies the fact; you are made whole, just as Christ gave the paralytic power to walk when the man believed that he was healed. It is so if you believe it. [CSA 30.3]

Do not wait to feel that you are made whole, but say, “I believe it; it is so, not because I feel it, but because God has promised.” ... [CSA 30.4]

Ellen G White

Thanks but I already asked Him to be born-again when I was young. He forgave my sin and I knew I was saved.

The attacks in the spirit were so extreme that I felt lots of power come out of me.
One night the whole of the inside of me came out, a horrible strange drink which I could not see, was poured in to my soul by this evil force. All against my will. I cried out to Jesus but He did not seem to rescue me.
My head got shots in the spirit and I felt parts of my head inside it come out. I felt dramatic changes happening, sort of like the spirit man was being destroyed. I feel like my voice and my stature completely changed, like it is now only me. I felt like I was 'downgraded'. It was absolutely awful. I just feel unable to connect with God now. How can I be forgiven twice? Jesus died only once.

Coronavirus seemed to coincide with my attack. People were in panic because of the virus, while I was panicking fearing hell. God warned me so many times.
I can chose to believe now with my heart that I am saved and have hope but the inner witness does not seem to be there. In Jesus name I am saved and God you will get me home, yes I can be confident and believe it but the feelings are so dramatically different. I am heartbroken.

I feel like I've lost my best friend. Holy Spirit is my best friend.

 

[JesusisLord7]

You're not beyond God's reach. Nothing/nowhere/no one is beyond His reach. He is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. The only unforgivable sin is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, and you've clearly not done that because you're here asking this question, and you're concerned about it.

Don't lose hope though. We all sin everyday, and we have to pick ourselves up with His help, and keep having faith in Christ.

I'd just add that being "saved" isn't a one time event. It's a life long process that we should be working toward on a daily basis. Constantly striving for the Kingdom in thought, word, and deed. Just don't give up.

No, you can only be saved once and God seals you.
This is His gift. You can't earn it.

You either received His gift and are saved and sealed or you are under the law and condemned.

 

[Tempura]

Dear brother or sister, you said you need another chance. This is my faith: it's not about a number. It's not about X amount of chances. It's about Jesus Christ, who told us, imperfect sin-tainted poor creatures to forgive 77x7 times, meaning "every time". He does not ask more from us than what God is able or willing to do. Peter wasn't special in himself. He committed an awful sin, and was brought back with love and power that was not his own. We struggle with that simple notion towards our fellow man, but God doesn't struggle with His forgiveness towards His creation. He gave you His beloved Son in an ultimate act of love so that even you, and people who are a thousand times worse than you, could have everlasting hope.

The way we look at things when we despair like this, it's all wrong. Up is down. It's so hard for us to climb into Heaven (and then we tend to forget that God already came down here, for us). We see our failures, we see our filth, we feel our fear and doubt. We're trying so hard, our spiritual legs are crippled and we can't seem to get anywhere. Whatever is wrong with us, whatever is our weakness, we put in on a pedestal. It belongs into the trash instead, but for us it can be a sight to behold, something so powerful that even God couldn't (or wouldn't) want to touch it. Our feelings will get the center stage. Our feelings are like the wind, they go wherever they want and we can't control them, and they rely so much on circumstances. We are absolutely consumed by self-occupation. Even in our faith; it stops being about looking to God and starts being about looking at our own faith, how weak it seems for us. We're not focused on the One whom we are grasping with our faith, we're focused on how strong our grasp supposedly is. We're focusing on our own strength, instead of His. His strength is the only strength that matters. Our feelings are entirely irrelevant, so often they're our enemies.

I believe it is a blessed thing to come to the end of ourselves. To really know how weak we are. To get to the point where we can't just go on like this. Something will break in us, something that needs to be broken. This will pave way for trust. When we can't trust anything in ourselves anymore, we will begin to trust in God, as He is the only one who can do it. So many times we think we already trust in Him, and we really don't, and whatever turmoil happens to us, be in within us or through circumstances, our first instinct is to be alarmed, worried, panicking, surrendering to fear. Many of these situations come for people who have already been in the faith for a long time. The famous "long dark night" or whatever people used to call it, it can come in various ways.

This trust we are to place in God fully, at first, can defy our reasoning, inner being and instinct. Eventually it will grow into something beautiful, something so strong that cannot be ever broken. It doesn't matter how many trials, how many strong winds we have to endure. It is His strength, His power, His love that builds the strongest foundations while many of our own foundations will fall. He fully knows we can't do any of this by ourselves. Our faith is molded over time, and it may feel like something awful is happening, like the ground is swept away under us, but God knows what He is doing. If we are to get comfort from even His rod, we must simply put our trust in Him, no matter how weak are in ourselves. It will become a deep-seated attitude, this trust in God. Not just trust in His word, but trust in His heart and goodness over ours.

You were brought to Jesus Christ, which is God's work, you didn't do it yourself. He will keep you and never drive you away, which is also His work. You will be guided through this and you will be a blessing for many.

My battle with my own feelings has lasted as long as I can remember. Whatever victories I've gotten, I didn't get them with any of my own strength. They're His victories. I don't look to my feelings as a sign of God's approval. My approval lies in Jesus Christ anyway, who does not change. I tell my feelings to take a hike and drag those kicking and screaming monsters into the proverbial trash they belong. They don't get to be God. I can have faith through my own weakness of faith. No matter how many long dark nights I'd have to endure.

Hang on in there. Said a prayer for you.

 

[paul1149]

If you've signed on the dotted line, and you haven't renounced your salvation, then it is up to God's faithfulness and power to deliver, not up to how strong you are or how you feel. No matter how powerful the attacks, or how they make you feel, you are secure in Christ. Period.

The devil would love to convince you otherwise, so he can turn you against yourself. Paul says in 2Cor 2 that we are not ignorant of his schemes.

Return to simple faith in the Father, and lend these attacks no more credence than they deserve. Let the peace of God guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

 

[packermann]

Hi, I have been a born-again Holy Spirit filled Christian all my life, since I was a child.

In 2018, I had been getting some thoughts I did not want and suppose I did not understand they were already forgiven, so I did not need to let it affect me. I had a spiritual attack where I thought I lost salvation. I found out I hadn't lost it and God brought me through that time and showed His incredible love for me. I got so close to God that year and He helped me to overcome, even though my mind had been affected.

Holy Spirit cleared up my mind in 2019 from intrusive thoughts. It was a miracle.
By the end of 2019, a few things happened which made my mind feel weak again and the same thoughts affected me. I did not know how to overcome it.

I started 2020 feeling quite overwhelmed but held on to Jesus.
He gave me an amazing victory in February and I felt wave after wave of His love and grace and power wash over me.
In March, we were warned at church not to doubt God. How I felt at the time made me still have some doubts and I even feared losing Him. I don't why this was an issue for me but I think it was because of the spiritual attacks that happened from getting so many thoughts.

So many attacks keep happened and I felt very isolated and trapped. I felt like I could not escape the attacks happening with the slightest doubt or fear.
God gave me rainbows a sign with coronavirus, a sign of His promise being true.

I am absolutely desperate for restoration and hope of Heaven. Life is so hard right now and I can bearly cope thinking I will be condemned to hell. I just can't bear it.

Every day I am trying to come to terms with what has happened to me.

I don't feel like doing any work, everything seems pointless now.

Eternity only matters and I need to know I am saved.
I want Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me again. I am absolutely desperate. I need another chance.

I was raised Catholic, became a Protestant evangelical in college, went to a Protestant seminary, and became a Baptist minister. Then everything went bad. My church kicked me out and my fiancee broke up with me. I had to go back and live my parents, and to the change careers. God seemed distant to me back then. I tried to pray, but I felt that no one was ,listening.

But I found that the premise of Protestant evangelicalism was dangerously wrong. We were never intended to be absolutely certain of our salvation! We can have doubts and still be saved! I realized that having an absolute certainty is not having faith in God but faith in my faith, which is the worst form of legalism. Being absolutely certain is a feeling you have. But our feeling can go up and down. Many factors can influence one's feeling of certainty. It is like a roller coaster. When you are up you feel absolutely certain. When you are down you have feelings of doubt.

Jesus Himself had feelings of doubt when He hung on the cross. He cried out "My God, my God! Why have your forsaken Me?" He experienced the ugliness of atheism on the cross. And yet as an act of the will He still trusted in His Father and said "Father, into Thy hands I commend my Spirit". He calls us all to follow Him to the cross.

I found that the only church that consistently warned us to not trust our feelings is the Catholic Church. They even have a name for feelings of doubt - it is called the Dark Night of the Soul. I found this to be liberating! It is OK to have doubts. In fact, God is pleased when I obey Him even when I have feelings of doubt. So when I doubt, I no longer despair. I take my doubts of evidence that God loves me and wants me to grow.

The problem with Protestantism is that it puts all their eggs in one basket - faith. That puts a lot of pressure on your feeling of faith. But as a Catholic, I see that justification is not only by faith but also by obedience. So when I find it difficult to believe, I still obey. If I feel I am going through the Dark Night I still choose to obey Him. And the amazing thing is that my Dark periods are now shorter and less frequent.

 

[crossnote]

It's a matter of Christ who holds you, (His faithfulness), not a matter of you holding Him (your sporadic faithfulness).

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Hi, I have been a born-again Holy Spirit filled Christian all my life, since I was a child.

In 2018, I had been getting some thoughts I did not want and suppose I did not understand they were already forgiven, so I did not need to let it affect me. I had a spiritual attack where I thought I lost salvation. I found out I hadn't lost it and God brought me through that time and showed His incredible love for me. I got so close to God that year and He helped me to overcome, even though my mind had been affected.

Holy Spirit cleared up my mind in 2019 from intrusive thoughts. It was a miracle.
By the end of 2019, a few things happened which made my mind feel weak again and the same thoughts affected me. I did not know how to overcome it.

I started 2020 feeling quite overwhelmed but held on to Jesus.
He gave me an amazing victory in February and I felt wave after wave of His love and grace and power wash over me.
In March, we were warned at church not to doubt God. How I felt at the time made me still have some doubts and I even feared losing Him. I don't why this was an issue for me but I think it was because of the spiritual attacks that happened from getting so many thoughts.

So many attacks keep happened and I felt very isolated and trapped. I felt like I could not escape the attacks happening with the slightest doubt or fear.
God gave me rainbows a sign with coronavirus, a sign of His promise being true.

I am absolutely desperate for restoration and hope of Heaven. Life is so hard right now and I can bearly cope thinking I will be condemned to hell. I just can't bear it.

Every day I am trying to come to terms with what has happened to me.

I don't feel like doing any work, everything seems pointless now.

Eternity only matters and I need to know I am saved.
I want Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me again. I am absolutely desperate. I need another chance.

Sounds like you have not come to know the absolute truth of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I don't know what kind of attacks you are getting but what I do know is His Holy Spirit dwells in the believer unless He is being "quenched". Fear, isolation,desperation condemnation, trapped, overwhelmed, these are all things of this world and not the fruit of the Holy Spirit which is " love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. ... Walk in His Spirit so that you can begin to be free of the bondage of this world. It is more than an acknowledgment, it is a life long commitment to stay the course no matter your circumstance. Read the story of Job.
Be blessed.

 

[BrotherD]

Thanks but I already asked Him to be born-again when I was young. He forgave my sin and I knew I was saved.

The attacks in the spirit were so extreme that I felt lots of power come out of me.
One night the whole of the inside of me came out, a horrible strange drink which I could not see, was poured in to my soul by this evil force. All against my will. I cried out to Jesus but He did not seem to rescue me.
My head got shots in the spirit and I felt parts of my head inside it come out. I felt dramatic changes happening, sort of like the spirit man was being destroyed. I feel like my voice and my stature completely changed, like it is now only me. I felt like I was 'downgraded'. It was absolutely awful. I just feel unable to connect with God now. How can I be forgiven twice? Jesus died only once.

Coronavirus seemed to coincide with my attack. People were in panic because of the virus, while I was panicking fearing hell. God warned me so many times.
I can chose to believe now with my heart that I am saved and have hope but the inner witness does not seem to be there. In Jesus name I am saved and God you will get me home, yes I can be confident and believe it but the feelings are so dramatically different. I am heartbroken.

I feel like I've lost my best friend. Holy Spirit is my best friend.

Fast and pray and keep the faith. I am battling internally myself but i trust in Christ to deliver me. The apostles were with Christ foe 3.5 years and they still had issues on the day he was going to be arrested. We have to fully surrender and plead the promises of Jesus that he will never leave nor forsake us. He promised us this, remember this scripture:

Hebrews 12:2 KJV — Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

 

[Sketcher]

How can I be forgiven twice? Jesus died only once.

God forgives many Christians countless times. Because Jesus died once.

No, you can only be saved once and God seals you.
This is His gift. You can't earn it.

You either received His gift and are saved and sealed or you are under the law and condemned.

So, since you were saved, you were sealed. The devil can't break it, and neither did you.

 

[SkyWriting]

Eternity only matters and I need to know I am saved.
I want Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me again. I am absolutely desperate. I need another chance.

Consider yourself saved. Just enjoy being saved for
30 seconds. With practice, you can do it on demand.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hi, I have been a born-again Holy Spirit filled Christian all my life, since I was a child.

In 2018, I had been getting some thoughts I did not want and suppose I did not understand they were already forgiven, so I did not need to let it affect me. I had a spiritual attack where I thought I lost salvation. I found out I hadn't lost it and God brought me through that time and showed His incredible love for me. I got so close to God that year and He helped me to overcome, even though my mind had been affected.

Holy Spirit cleared up my mind in 2019 from intrusive thoughts. It was a miracle.
By the end of 2019, a few things happened which made my mind feel weak again and the same thoughts affected me. I did not know how to overcome it.

I started 2020 feeling quite overwhelmed but held on to Jesus.
He gave me an amazing victory in February and I felt wave after wave of His love and grace and power wash over me.
In March, we were warned at church not to doubt God. How I felt at the time made me still have some doubts and I even feared losing Him. I don't why this was an issue for me but I think it was because of the spiritual attacks that happened from getting so many thoughts.

So many attacks keep happened and I felt very isolated and trapped. I felt like I could not escape the attacks happening with the slightest doubt or fear.
God gave me rainbows a sign with coronavirus, a sign of His promise being true.

I am absolutely desperate for restoration and hope of Heaven. Life is so hard right now and I can bearly cope thinking I will be condemned to hell. I just can't bear it.

Every day I am trying to come to terms with what has happened to me.

I don't feel like doing any work, everything seems pointless now.

Eternity only matters and I need to know I am saved.
I want Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me again. I am absolutely desperate. I need another chance.

The bible says,

1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

God is faithful to us, He does not leave us. Especially in your situation, I know of many who have sinned far worse than you and have still made it back to Jesus. You want to know the truth I would suggest that I am in a sense unworthy to teach you, for your faithfulness is greater than mine. But I will open up the scriptures to you. You need to know how the cross works.

Heb 9:27-28 And inasmuch as it is appointed unto men once to die, and after this cometh judgment; so Christ also, having been once offered to bear the sins of many

When you read that scripture, it says as it is appointed for man to die once so Christ was offered once for sin. That is a whole life time of sins covered. A life given for a life. Any time you need forgiveness God is there.

You have not out sinned, or done anything that Jesus will not forgive.

Luke 17:4 And if he sin against thee seven times in the day, and seven times turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

 

[longwait]

Hi, I have been a born-again Holy Spirit filled Christian all my life, since I was a child.

In 2018, I had been getting some thoughts I did not want and suppose I did not understand they were already forgiven, so I did not need to let it affect me. I had a spiritual attack where I thought I lost salvation. I found out I hadn't lost it and God brought me through that time and showed His incredible love for me. I got so close to God that year and He helped me to overcome, even though my mind had been affected.

Holy Spirit cleared up my mind in 2019 from intrusive thoughts. It was a miracle.
By the end of 2019, a few things happened which made my mind feel weak again and the same thoughts affected me. I did not know how to overcome it.

I started 2020 feeling quite overwhelmed but held on to Jesus.
He gave me an amazing victory in February and I felt wave after wave of His love and grace and power wash over me.
In March, we were warned at church not to doubt God. How I felt at the time made me still have some doubts and I even feared losing Him. I don't why this was an issue for me but I think it was because of the spiritual attacks that happened from getting so many thoughts.

So many attacks keep happened and I felt very isolated and trapped. I felt like I could not escape the attacks happening with the slightest doubt or fear.
God gave me rainbows a sign with coronavirus, a sign of His promise being true.

I am absolutely desperate for restoration and hope of Heaven. Life is so hard right now and I can bearly cope thinking I will be condemned to hell. I just can't bear it.

Every day I am trying to come to terms with what has happened to me.

I don't feel like doing any work, everything seems pointless now.

Eternity only matters and I need to know I am saved.
I want Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me again. I am absolutely desperate. I need another chance.

Study the Word of God persistently. Only that can give you peace of mind and not some encouraging comment from any of us.

 

[bigo1984]

Hi, I have been a born-again Holy Spirit filled Christian all my life, since I was a child.

In 2018, I had been getting some thoughts I did not want and suppose I did not understand they were already forgiven, so I did not need to let it affect me. I had a spiritual attack where I thought I lost salvation. I found out I hadn't lost it and God brought me through that time and showed His incredible love for me. I got so close to God that year and He helped me to overcome, even though my mind had been affected.

Holy Spirit cleared up my mind in 2019 from intrusive thoughts. It was a miracle.
By the end of 2019, a few things happened which made my mind feel weak again and the same thoughts affected me. I did not know how to overcome it.

I started 2020 feeling quite overwhelmed but held on to Jesus.
He gave me an amazing victory in February and I felt wave after wave of His love and grace and power wash over me.
In March, we were warned at church not to doubt God. How I felt at the time made me still have some doubts and I even feared losing Him. I don't why this was an issue for me but I think it was because of the spiritual attacks that happened from getting so many thoughts.

So many attacks keep happened and I felt very isolated and trapped. I felt like I could not escape the attacks happening with the slightest doubt or fear.
God gave me rainbows a sign with coronavirus, a sign of His promise being true.

I am absolutely desperate for restoration and hope of Heaven. Life is so hard right now and I can bearly cope thinking I will be condemned to hell. I just can't bear it.

Every day I am trying to come to terms with what has happened to me.

I don't feel like doing any work, everything seems pointless now.

Eternity only matters and I need to know I am saved.
I want Holy Spirit to dwell inside of me again. I am absolutely desperate. I need another chance.

I used to struggle with those thoughts too. Keep in mind that your salvation is not based on anything you have done or haven't done but based on what Jesus Christ did for you on the cross. I can guarantee you the Lord is not condemning you. Rather than focus on your shortcomings and sin I believe he would want you to spend time with him. In doing so you will become more like him, but you are never going to be perfect God does not expect perfection he just wants our hearts and he wants to spend time with us.

 

[SANTOSO]

This is what we have heard:
VICTORY comes from ADONAI ( Lord or Master) ; may your blessing rest on your people. (Selah) -Psalm 3:8 CJB

Through whom do we receive victory, that we have heard and give thanks :

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. -1 Corinthians 15:57

So, if you are looking for victory from God, you need to come through the Lord Jesus Christ.

What would our Lord say to us that we may receive victory through Him?

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have TRIBULATION. But take heart; I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

What tribulation means ?
The dictionary define as a cause of great trouble or suffering.
Also, defines as a state of great trouble or suffering.

Now, why Jesus calls us to take heart that He has overcome the world ? What does it means ?

Apostle John told us this :
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the VICTORY that has overcome the world'our faith. -1 John 5:4

Jesus told us to take heart because everyone who have been borne of God, in union with Him, overcome the world or overcome tribulation.