Feel Like Giving Up

[GrayAngel]

My life feels empty. I've been struggling with depression now for longer than I can remember, and I think it might be clinical. A big part of it is because I don't have any close friends. I have some friends from church, but we're not that close.

The only person I've ever felt comfortable enough to open up to was my girlfriend, but she was psychotic, and she turned on me. I've been without a girlfriend (and by extension, a close friend) for about a year and two months now.

I have a spiritual mentor from church, and I thank God for him. Without him in my life, I don't know where I'd be. After the breakup, especially, I was a wreck. But there are still many things I am afraid to tell him, even though I believe he is trustworthy.

I also have a health problem that I've been suffering since I was a teenager. I keep praying for God to heal me, but it hasn't happened. Maybe He's trying to tell me something, but if so, I don't like what I'm hearing.

Even my prayer life is suffering. I used to pray pretty often, but now I have trouble saying a single word to Him. I know He's there and He's listening, but something is different.

Sometimes, I feel like giving up. But, honestly, I don't even know what that means. I can't kill myself, and don't think I would ever consider that, though I do sometimes wish I were dead. I also can't give up on God, or else I lose the only glimmer of hope I have for my life.

I just feel like I'm suffering, and I'm suffering alone. I want it to end, but it doesn't seem like it ever will. I'm living to stay alive, following happiness like a carrot on a stick that is always out of my reach, until that last miserable moment before I'm taken away.

Sorry for the rant. I don't mean to throw a pity party for myself, but this is how I feel, and I don't know what to do. Any prayers or advice are welcome.

 

[elenore]

Dude, when the only way is down - the only way is up.

Hang in there.

God bless

 

[miamited]

Hi grayangel,

I find that many times people don't make friends because they're unwilling or hesitant to do the work required to be a friend. Tomorrow when you go to worship service I want you to pick one person that you think you could be friends with. Hopefully this person will be a strong and committed follower of the Lord, if you are. Then after service walk over and strike up a conversation and ask them if you might call them during the week.

When you call go through all the pleasantries and tell them (briefly) of your struggle. Something like, "you know I've been feeling friendless lately and I'm hoping and praying that God would introduce me to godly people who might be a friend." Then ask if they also struggle with finding valuable believing friends. Then pull back from the subject and try to find something else of interest between the two of you that might carry the conversation a bit longer (no gossip). As you close the conversation simply ask if it might be alright to call them again and follow through. If you sense hesitancy then next week begin lookingh for another person, but I would encourage you to wait a bit (3-4 weeks) before you make a contact with that person, although it would be find to begin striking up conversations with them at services. However, even with some hesitancy it may well be fruitful to call again another couple of times the first person. After all, you've just begun to know each other and one can hardly make a determination or establish a true friendship in a short telephone conversation. If things move along, then after the first couple of calls and you've found out some of the things the other person enjoys, suggest that the two of you do something together. If the other person is involved in some christian ministry or group it would be perfectly appropriate to ask if you might attend with them. If, however, after 3 or 4 telephone contacts you still sense the hesitancy, then start over. Go to the next person you have selected as a good prospect. I say that you should allow a few weeks and a few conversations to make any final determination because you don't want develop of reputation as 'that lady that's always looking for a friend'. By the way, I don't think it amiss if you were to request some confidentiality when you express your desire to find a friend. Something like, "Can I share something with you in confidence? I really feel funny saying this and so I hope it can just be between you and me." Then mention your trouble in finding a friend.

Building true friendships takes a little bit of time and some effort. First, you need to have enough knowledge about the other person to make sure that their friendship is what you seek. For instance, you probably wouldn't want to make your true friend someone who is a prostitute or compulsive gambler or involved in some other such activities. Most true friends share similar hobbies and interests and I'm firmly convicted that any true friend of a believer must also be a believer. Psalm 1.

God bless you.
In Christ, Ted

 

[miamited]

Oh, and of course, in all things make your requests known to God in prayer.

 

[GrayAngel]

Hi grayangel,

I find that many times people don't make friends because they're unwilling or hesitant to do the work required to be a friend. Tomorrow when you go to worship service I want you to pick one person that you think you could be friends with. Hopefully this person will be a strong and committed follower of the Lord, if you are. Then after service walk over and strike up a conversation and ask them if you might call them during the week.

When you call go through all the pleasantries and tell them (briefly) of your struggle. Something like, "you know I've been feeling friendless lately and I'm hoping and praying that God would introduce me to godly people who might be a friend." Then ask if they also struggle with finding valuable believing friends. Then pull back from the subject and try to find something else of interest between the two of you that might carry the conversation a bit longer (no gossip). As you close the conversation simply ask if it might be alright to call them again and follow through. If you sense hesitancy then next week begin lookingh for another person, but I would encourage you to wait a bit (3-4 weeks) before you make a contact with that person, although it would be find to begin striking up conversations with them at services. However, even with some hesitancy it may well be fruitful to call again another couple of times the first person. After all, you've just begun to know each other and one can hardly make a determination or establish a true friendship in a short telephone conversation. If things move along, then after the first couple of calls and you've found out some of the things the other person enjoys, suggest that the two of you do something together. If the other person is involved in some christian ministry or group it would be perfectly appropriate to ask if you might attend with them. If, however, after 3 or 4 telephone contacts you still sense the hesitancy, then start over. Go to the next person you have selected as a good prospect. I say that you should allow a few weeks and a few conversations to make any final determination because you don't want develop of reputation as 'that lady that's always looking for a friend'. By the way, I don't think it amiss if you were to request some confidentiality when you express your desire to find a friend. Something like, "Can I share something with you in confidence? I really feel funny saying this and so I hope it can just be between you and me." Then mention your trouble in finding a friend.

Building true friendships takes a little bit of time and some effort. First, you need to have enough knowledge about the other person to make sure that their friendship is what you seek. For instance, you probably wouldn't want to make your true friend someone who is a prostitute or compulsive gambler or involved in some other such activities. Most true friends share similar hobbies and interests and I'm firmly convicted that any true friend of a believer must also be a believer. Psalm 1.

God bless you.
In Christ, Ted

I'm a pretty friendly guy, despite being quiet, but this sounds kind of odd to me. I'm just supposed to ask if I can call them during the week? And then I outright tell them I don't have any friends? I would think that would creep people out, and make me seem desperate.

Getting involved in ministries and activities, though, I do that whenever I'm able (though school often gets in the way). But it's hard to find some valuable one-on-one time with people.

You don't have worry about the types of people I would consider a friend. I try to be friendly to everyone, but I can only be close with other Christians.

 

[lutherangerman]

I would recommend not staking all your hope on christians. We're the family of Christ but we're not exactly a herd of sheep with the whitest and most pure wool. Do something crazy like hitchhiking through the country. Throw yourself into the arms of God, He will be with you, you will see. It's the only thing that really works if you're in a rut. And I can really feel you about the girlfriend. It takes time. You must be a strong man to gain the love of some kind of women. Others are more merciful, but then you won't feel the same attraction perhaps. Trust in God and do something. Don't let your life imprison you - hate your life instead, like Jesus said, and ask Him for resurrection life. Maybe you've been hanging out in crucifixion life too much. Remember that Christ only endured this for a day. You don't have to suffer like this forever. Take initiative. I would also recommend learning an art. I do poetry, for example, and it helps me a lot. I will put you on my prayer list. God bless you!

 

[rockytopva]

My life feels empty. I've been struggling with depression now for longer than I can remember, and I think it might be clinical. A big part of it is because I don't have any close friends. I have some friends from church, but we're not that close.

The only person I've ever felt comfortable enough to open up to was my girlfriend, but she was psychotic, and she turned on me. I've been without a girlfriend (and by extension, a close friend) for about a year and two months now.

I have a spiritual mentor from church, and I thank God for him. Without him in my life, I don't know where I'd be. After the breakup, especially, I was a wreck. But there are still many things I am afraid to tell him, even though I believe he is trustworthy.

I also have a health problem that I've been suffering since I was a teenager. I keep praying for God to heal me, but it hasn't happened. Maybe He's trying to tell me something, but if so, I don't like what I'm hearing.

Even my prayer life is suffering. I used to pray pretty often, but now I have trouble saying a single word to Him. I know He's there and He's listening, but something is different.

Sometimes, I feel like giving up. But, honestly, I don't even know what that means. I can't kill myself, and don't think I would ever consider that, though I do sometimes wish I were dead. I also can't give up on God, or else I lose the only glimmer of hope I have for my life.

I just feel like I'm suffering, and I'm suffering alone. I want it to end, but it doesn't seem like it ever will. I'm living to stay alive, following happiness like a carrot on a stick that is always out of my reach, until that last miserable moment before I'm taken away.

Sorry for the rant. I don't mean to throw a pity party for myself, but this is how I feel, and I don't know what to do. Any prayers or advice are welcome.

Will pray! Here is a video I did. There is a spiritual variety of light...

E/c2 - Faith, hope, charity, joy, motivation, warmth, love...

And its opposite z/d (absolute zero / darkness)

z/d - Fear, despair, greed, sorrow, apathy, coldness, hate...

Take a look at the sun oh man! If God has that much natural energy so he has equal amounts of spiritual energy... Ask God to fill you with his spiritual E/c2 today!

E = mc2... The power of light and energy - YouTube

 

[Sadiegrl]

Hi Gray,

I can totally relate, although i cant say i have the best advice for changing things. Maybe its just a funk that we go through in this age...or walk with God, i dont know. But I do know that God has been calling me to get more involved with people, i'm pretty busy with my home life but i also fit in anywhere i go...but have not one close friend who understands me, on a Christian level. Plus the motivation to study God's word has significantly dropped, i feel like im bored with this life and need something more. But i understand what miamited was saying, about the unwillingness to do the work for a friendship. Sometimes i just dont feel like calling people, or talking or telling them whats going on in my life...let alone meet a whole new group and start the process all over again...ehh so i guess it goes both ways.

Online interaction is only so satisfying...plus once i've written how i feel i dont always want to post it lol so it can be frustrating.

 

[GrayAngel]

I would recommend not staking all your hope on christians. We're the family of Christ but we're not exactly a herd of sheep with the whitest and most pure wool. Do something crazy like hitchhiking through the country. Throw yourself into the arms of God, He will be with you, you will see. It's the only thing that really works if you're in a rut. And I can really feel you about the girlfriend. It takes time. You must be a strong man to gain the love of some kind of women. Others are more merciful, but then you won't feel the same attraction perhaps. Trust in God and do something. Don't let your life imprison you - hate your life instead, like Jesus said, and ask Him for resurrection life. Maybe you've been hanging out in crucifixion life too much. Remember that Christ only endured this for a day. You don't have to suffer like this forever. Take initiative. I would also recommend learning an art. I do poetry, for example, and it helps me a lot. I will put you on my prayer list. God bless you!

Actually, doing "something crazy" sounds pretty good. I'll have to find something that I could do. Maybe the upcoming camping trip with the church will suffice for a little while.

Haha. I know I can't always count on Christians. As a matter of fact, some of them can be worse than unbelievers when it comes to friendship, but they're family. There's no other group that I'd rather be around.

I do like to write fiction and, on occasion, draw. I haven't done either in a while, unless you count role playing.

I'm not sure what you mean by "crucifixion life."

Thank you for your prayers.

Will pray! Here is a video I did. There is a spiritual variety of light...

E/c2 - Faith, hope, charity, joy, motivation, warmth, love...

And its opposite z/d (absolute zero / darkness)

z/d - Fear, despair, greed, sorrow, apathy, coldness, hate...

Take a look at the sun oh man! If God has that much natural energy so he has equal amounts of spiritual energy... Ask God to fill you with his spiritual E/c2 today!

E = mc2... The power of light and energy - YouTube

My Internet is being really slow, so I might view that video later.

(I giggled a little. The video stopped to load for with this on the screen: "Albert Einstein was the most famous scientist of the last century. His greatest accomplishment was the disco")

Hi Gray,

I can totally relate, although i cant say i have the best advice for changing things. Maybe its just a funk that we go through in this age...or walk with God, i dont know. But I do know that God has been calling me to get more involved with people, i'm pretty busy with my home life but i also fit in anywhere i go...but have not one close friend who understands me, on a Christian level. Plus the motivation to study God's word has significantly dropped, i feel like im bored with this life and need something more. But i understand what miamited was saying, about the unwillingness to do the work for a friendship. Sometimes i just dont feel like calling people, or talking or telling them whats going on in my life...let alone meet a whole new group and start the process all over again...ehh so i guess it goes both ways.

Online interaction is only so satisfying...plus once i've written how i feel i dont always want to post it lol so it can be frustrating.

Funny you should say that, because by the time I had finished my post, I didn't feel like posting it anymore. But, I did it anyway. I almost posted a similar thread a few months earlier, but decided against it.

 

[saved24]

GrayAngel,
I feel for you, and what you are going through. I know how hard it can be to have no real friends you can share everything. When I felt pretty friendless and even rejected by the youth (many years ago) my mother gave me some good advice. She told me to keep saying "Jesus is enough". I had to learn that even if I had no friends or I was rejected to really come to totally depend on Jesus and know that He is enough. I pray this for you, but I also will pray that the Lord will fill you with Himself and that one day you will have a close Christian friend you can share with. God bless and keep on with Him no matter what, because we may not always feel His presence but He always is there and He promises He will never leave us or forsake us.