Feel like giving up......

[trinityisunity]

Gave up!

 

[TwistTim]

Have you considered why you were passed over?
Have you gone to the search committee and submitted an application?
Not everybody in the church knows what the pastor knows about a member....
Then again....
Have you considered that maybe God has another office for you and is keeping you from this office for his Sovereign Reasons?

 

[Emmy]

Dear trinityisunity. ( My Great Redeemer`s servant) If you give up, you will cut off your nose, to spite your face. You will be the loser, and you will be a poor servant. Remember when our Lord said hanging on the Cross: " Father forgive them, they do not know what they are doing." We could say the same, trinityisunity, because in the last 2000 years, we have not changed much. The world is an imperfect world, and our Lord told us to be the Salt and the Light of the world. And if things are getting too tough, Jesus will help us carry our burdens, and they will never be too heave for our backs. Love is our greatest weapon, and Love will always bring its own rewards. I say this humbly and with love, and send greetings. Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[the.Sheepdog]

I dont know the situation here brother, but I have one thing to say and am led to say it:

Never never never neverNever never never neverNever never never neverNever never never neverNever never never neverNever never never neverNever never never neverNever never never never ever give up if you feel God wants you to do something! Conversly, giving up and letting GOD is sometimes the fastest way to obey his will!

 

[Rhamiel]

i will say a prayer for you

 

[iamjcs]

ck-out YouTube song @ http://arminiantoday.wordpress.com/category/music/

 

[Hagios17]

Not the end of the world brother. Take it easy. Take a chill pill, so to speak. Go on a holiday or something. Collect yourself a bit. Will pray.

 

[trinityisunity]

Hi all,
Thanks for the prayers, encouragement and the kick in the pants I well deserved. Alot has happened in the past couple of weeks and it has been a tough time for my wife and myself in our church.

A while ago, some of you may remember, I posted about what an elder at our church did to my wife in his office - he forced himself on her and kissed her! Well it took some time and I finally reached a point with this guy that I had to speak to him about this. My wife as a victim in this felt dirty, guilty and just plain horrible that this even happened and why she was singled out!

I am 36 and he is 64 yrs old. I went outside after church and basically spoke my mind and told him how much he has hurt my wife and me in his poor choice of actions. This guy was an AoG pastor and lost his ministry due to many affairs. I dont know why or how he is now an elder in our church. He said he loves me and my wife and I said if you really do you must tell the pastor asap what you did. He did thankfully, otherwise my wife and I were booked in to see the pastor this week, and then it might have ended up a he said, she said situation. God worked wonderfully on Sunday and after much prayer and counsel with some wise Christians we feel a little better that it is out there now and not something we are hanging onto.

The pastor saw us today and asked for all the details of what happened and all the other things that led up to this event and also the continual stuff that continued after the event.

I did not enjoy rebuking an older man let alone an elder, but God gave me the strength to do it. My pastor asked us what we would like to see happen. My wife said the hugging and kissing to stop and I said that this man is not fit to be an elder re 1 Timothy 3. The pastor is meeting with the other elders this week and I pray (and please be praying) that this man will no longer be an elder at our church.

This elder is always in our pastor's ear and pocket and I do think it is one of the main reasons I was not even spoken to about the position that is vacant at our church. He would not wont me in a position as an associate pastor after what he had done to us.

Thanks again for the prayers.

 

[toolite]

Gave up!

Its common to want to give up during our trials because thats what we have trials and tribulations. They must get harder because as we pass them we grow stronger. See for the Lord to get us anywhere near we are suppose to be we must have trials... We proclaim a certain level and we must then be tested of that level. Don't ever worry about not passing a level because we receive another opportunity. When we know that our Lord will provide in all situations then we are strong enough to speak against the enemy and we are strong enough to remind the enemy no matter how things look we will have victory. Sometimes God moves things and/or people out of life and we think we needed them but, certain levels those things or people are not needed. Don't give up - instead stand and declare that you don't know how the Lord is going to work things out but, he will work them out. You don't know when but, you will faint during your trial. You are blessed but, you must know you are blessed!

All The Glory Belongs To God!

 

[TwistTim]

Trinity I beg your forgiveness, I had forgotten that you were the one who had undergone that horrid ordeal with your wife, I had in fact forgotten about that incident and thought you were just someone whining because things didn't go his way....

please forgive me sir, had I recalled everything, I would never have been so cold as to post the sarcasm....

In your shoes, I would fight for the removal from office of this guy, and it may be a good thing you don't get the office of Associate Pastor yet.... until this fight is over, then if he is gone, you can seek it,

But, if he stays, then I wouldn't force my wife to keep being in his presence as I'm sure she'll be living with the pain of that encounter for a time to come yet.... and it may be God's way of keeping the two of you from greater pains right now....

just trust our Sovereign God that He knows best, for He is Omniscient after all...

 

[trinityisunity]

Trinity I beg your forgiveness, I had forgotten that you were the one who had undergone that horrid ordeal with your wife, I had in fact forgotten about that incident and thought you were just someone whining because things didn't go his way....

please forgive me sir, had I recalled everything, I would never have been so cold as to post the sarcasm....

In your shoes, I would fight for the removal from office of this guy, and it may be a good thing you don't get the office of Associate Pastor yet.... until this fight is over, then if he is gone, you can seek it,

But, if he stays, then I wouldn't force my wife to keep being in his presence as I'm sure she'll be living with the pain of that encounter for a time to come yet.... and it may be God's way of keeping the two of you from greater pains right now....

just trust our Sovereign God that He knows best, for He is Omniscient after all...

That's fine. No hard feelings! This has been the toughest 2-3 weeks ever in my life and I probably did sound whingey!

Just please pray that this guy is removed from his position- or better still be praying that he stands down on his own accord, that would at least show some remorse and a repentant heart for what happened.

The pastor and the other elders are meeting tonight to discuss the matter. I do still have a bad feeling that he will not lose his position. If he does not I cannot and will not stay at this church as it will cause my wife even more pain to see him still and especially in a leadership position.

I pray God will, in His sovereign power cause the right outcome.

I have also come to the conclusion in prayer and seeking God's direction not to apply for the associate pastor vacancy at our church. I am ok with that decision considering all that has happened.

 

[PrincetonGuy]

That's fine. No hard feelings! This has been the toughest 2-3 weeks ever in my life and I probably did sound whingey!

Just please pray that this guy is removed from his position- or better still be praying that he stands down on his own accord, that would at least show some remorse and a repentant heart for what happened.

The pastor and the other elders are meeting tonight to discuss the matter. I do still have a bad feeling that he will not lose his position. If he does not I cannot and will not stay at this church as it will cause my wife even more pain to see him still and especially in a leadership position.

I pray God will, in His sovereign power cause the right outcome.

I have also come to the conclusion in prayer and seeking God's direction not to apply for the associate pastor vacancy at our church. I am ok with that decision considering all that has happened.

Wow! I will be praying for you and that the evil elder will not only lose his position, but be required to leave the church altogether.

Just a side note: You have been a very important blessing to me and undoubtedly to others. Satan is not happy with you, and he is causing you grief, but God will prevail if you stand firm. Please don't let us down!

 

[trinityisunity]

The elder's meeting did not take place last week but will be this Wed night. Apparently the 'evil elder' will be addressing the other elders. I am praying this will be where he stands down and does not try to justify what he did. The 'evil elder' did not talk to me on Sunday morning or even at my youngest girl's baptism at the beach. He has not even gone near my wife at all - that is a great thing. This is hard because he,his wife and us were close friends but now things have changed that. If he is not standing down or is not told to at this meeting I will be airing my feelings to the pastor and he will then see a different side to meek and mild me.

PLEASE be praying for the outcome of this meeting on Wed. night. We need all the prayer support possible. To make sure that this never happens again!! Thanks

 

[PrincetonGuy]

The elder's meeting did not take place last week but will be this Wed night. Apparently the 'evil elder' will be addressing the other elders. I am praying this will be where he stands down and does not try to justify what he did. The 'evil elder' did not talk to me on Sunday morning or even at my youngest girl's baptism at the beach. He has not even gone near my wife at all - that is a great thing. This is hard because he,his wife and us were close friends but now things have changed that. If he is not standing down or is not told to at this meeting I will be airing my feelings to the pastor and he will then see a different side to meek and mild me.

PLEASE be praying for the outcome of this meeting on Wed. night. We need all the prayer support possible. To make sure that this never happens again!! Thanks

Thank you for this update. I will be continuing to pray for you as you have requested, not only because you have requested it, but because I feel the need to do so.

 

[VT_Boy]

Praying for you bro! Hang in there.

 

[ByWayofLight]

Surely this Elder is full of evil works. To impose himself on your wife was and is sinful. He not only sinned against his wife but your wife and to his God. Since you mentioned he has done this in the past and repeated it again likely he will continue to do so. He still thinks he can do it and get away with it. I would vote to remove him from his position until and if he repents and gets counseling. He should never again to be allowed in a position where is is alone with a woman. Trinity you were very brave to share this with us but because you did there are many who will read this and pray for you. If he is not removed then seek another Church. There maybe at the new church just the opportunity where you both and your wife can serve without fear. Peace be with you.

 

[trinityisunity]

AN UPDATE..........The pastor came and saw my wife and I yesterday morning to talk about the upcoming elder's meeting last night. He said that the elder involved would 'fess up' at the meeting and more than likely stand down on his own accord. This made me a little more optimistic as I had been a little anxious as to what might occur. The pastor proposed 3 possible outcomes (they all had the elder standing down - it should happen by the sounds of that!) and asked us separately what we wanted to see happen to the elder - not promising that what we wanted would happen but so we could have a say or a voice in the situation. My wife said he should not be able to preach or worship lead anymore and hands and lips off of all women and girls!!! I said no eldership, no ministry at all as what happened was a breach of ethics in a ministry situation. He has a history of no self-control where women are concerned!

From what the pastor tells me today is that he has given the other elders a few days to process the details and he is awaiting their thoughts on this (as to how far the discipline will go and what ministries will be stripped from the guy). He did not tell me if the 'evil elder' stood down or not! I guess we will find out soon enough.

Please continue your prayers on this issue as it is not over yet. I appreciate greatly your prayers and thank those of you who are bringing this before God. Bless you!

 

[PrincetonGuy]

AN UPDATE..........The pastor came and saw my wife and I yesterday morning to talk about the upcoming elder's meeting last night. He said that the elder involved would 'fess up' at the meeting and more than likely stand down on his own accord. This made me a little more optimistic as I had been a little anxious as to what might occur. The pastor proposed 3 possible outcomes (they all had the elder standing down - it should happen by the sounds of that!) and asked us separately what we wanted to see happen to the elder - not promising that what we wanted would happen but so we could have a say or a voice in the situation. My wife said he should not be able to preach or worship lead anymore and hands and lips off of all women and girls!!! I said no eldership, no ministry at all as what happened was a breach of ethics in a ministry situation. He has a history of no self-control where women are concerned!

From what the pastor tells me today is that he has given the other elders a few days to process the details and he is awaiting their thoughts on this (as to how far the discipline will go and what ministries will be stripped from the guy). He did not tell me if the 'evil elder' stood down or not! I guess we will find out soon enough.

Please continue your prayers on this issue as it is not over yet. I appreciate greatly your prayers and thank those of you who are bringing this before God. Bless you!

Thank you for this update. I am continuing to pray for you and your wife, and for the situation to be quickly and completely resolved in such a manner that God will be glorified and that this manifestation of evil in your church will be brought to naught.

 

[trinityisunity]

Still struggling a bit through this ordeal. I have forgiven the guy but does that mean I have to be his friend. Forgiveness does not mean friendship? or does it. I am currently looking at this for a reasoning of what forgiveness is........

You can wish them well, be happy for them when things go well for them. When things are not going well you do not say to yourself, 'Sucked in, you deserved that!' Does this sound ok???

 

[ByWayofLight]

Forgiving someone is releasing them from the pain/hurt which they caused you. In that you will not hold that against them anymore. It's harder to do depending on the depth of hurt and usually takes time after the event to get your heart back in order. I agree you don't have to be best friends with them. If your still struggling with it just give yourself more time.