Feel like giving up......

[trinityisunity]

In a few hours the pastor and the other elders are meeting to discuss the discipline of the 'evil elder'. I pray they make the right decision. If this man stays on as elder or is still allowed to preach or worship lead or still be in charge of a ministry, we have decided to cease our membership at this church and go elsewhere. If the correct discipline is handed down we feel comfortable to stay and know it is going to be a 'safe' place for my wife. I will post tomorrow the outcome if I hear what it is.

 

[DeaconDean]

In a few hours the pastor and the other elders are meeting to discuss the discipline of the 'evil elder'. I pray they make the right decision. If this man stays on as elder or is still allowed to preach or worship lead or still be in charge of a ministry, we have decided to cease our membership at this church and go elsewhere. If the correct discipline is handed down we feel comfortable to stay and know it is going to be a 'safe' place for my wife. I will post tomorrow the outcome if I hear what it is.

Please do.

This concerns me very much.

And, I do agree with your decision to cease membership with this church if the right thing isn't done.

God Bless

Till all are one.

 

[trinityisunity]

Sorry, but I need to vent!!!

Have not heard anything yet! It is not a hard decision to work out what should be done in this situation. They all met to discuss the situation and we have heard nothing. My wife is getting very distressed and anxious feeling like they are going to let this guy get away with it. She is normally such a positive person but this waiting is making her think negative thoughts and just is not her. I even feel my blood-pressure rising. Very stressful!

I am hoping the guy and his wife will leave the church if we stay because otherwise everytime my wife sees him or his wife it will remind her again afresh of what happened.

This has been going on for too long now - we just want closure and a proper outcome with appropriate church discipline!!!

 

[DeaconDean]

Sorry, but I need to vent!!!

Have not heard anything yet! It is not a hard decision to work out what should be done in this situation. They all met to discuss the situation and we have heard nothing. My wife is getting very distressed and anxious feeling like they are going to let this guy get away with it. She is normally such a positive person but this waiting is making her think negative thoughts and just is not her. I even feel my blood-pressure rising. Very stressful!

I am hoping the guy and his wife will leave the church if we stay because otherwise everytime my wife sees him or his wife it will remind her again afresh of what happened.

This has been going on for too long now - we just want closure and a proper outcome with appropriate church discipline!!!

Friend, have you considered visiting other churches?

It may be time to "throw in the towel" and start visiting other churches.

It never hurts to be prepared.

There is an old proverb that goes:

Expect the best, prepare for the worst

God Bless

Till all are one.

 

[PrincetonGuy]

Sorry, but I need to vent!!!

Have not heard anything yet! It is not a hard decision to work out what should be done in this situation. They all met to discuss the situation and we have heard nothing. My wife is getting very distressed and anxious feeling like they are going to let this guy get away with it. She is normally such a positive person but this waiting is making her think negative thoughts and just is not her. I even feel my blood-pressure rising. Very stressful!

I am hoping the guy and his wife will leave the church if we stay because otherwise everytime my wife sees him or his wife it will remind her again afresh of what happened.

This has been going on for too long now - we just want closure and a proper outcome with appropriate church discipline!!!

Thank you for this update. I am continuing to pray for you and your wife, and for the situation to be quickly and completely resolved in such a manner that God will be glorified and that this manifestation of evil in your church will be brought to naught.

 

[trinityisunity]

I have just been imformed that the 'evil elder' did resign from eldership and all ministry!

He will be told hands off ALL women and teenage girls!

He will have to undergo counselling outside of our church and have an accountibility partner to help him in this area of sin he struggles with. The church has even offered to pay for counselling for my wife and myself!!!

I saw my wife smile like she has not in a very long time as we heard the outcome! The healing process can now move ahead.

All I can do is praise God for His working in this situation. It has drawn my wife and I closer together and strengthened us even more.

A huge thankyou to those of you for your prayers, it has meant alot to me that people, even strangers (although we are family! brothers & sisters) would pray for this issue. God bless you greatly!!! Huge hugs for all of you

We will stay at the church for another 12 months, then I finish my studies and I will wait to see where God sends me!

Thankyou God!

 

[zergkiller007]

I really dont think I am a Christian anymore, someone please help.

 

[DeaconDean]

I have just been imformed that the 'evil elder' did resign from eldership and all ministry!

He will be told hands off ALL women and teenage girls!

He will have to undergo counselling outside of our church and have an accountibility partner to help him in this area of sin he struggles with. The church has even offered to pay for counselling for my wife and myself!!!

I saw my wife smile like she has not in a very long time as we heard the outcome! The healing process can now move ahead.

All I can do is praise God for His working in this situation. It has drawn my wife and I closer together and strengthened us even more.

A huge thankyou to those of you for your prayers, it has meant alot to me that people, even strangers (although we are family! brothers & sisters) would pray for this issue. God bless you greatly!!! Huge hugs for all of you

We will stay at the church for another 12 months, then I finish my studies and I will wait to see where God sends me!

Thankyou God!

Praise God!

He is still "in business" for His saints.

God Bless

Till all are one.

 

[ByWayofLight]

I really dont think I am a Christian anymore, someone please help.

Why do you say that?

Once saved always saved !

 

[Radagast]

I have just been imformed that the 'evil elder' did resign from eldership and all ministry!

He will be told hands off ALL women and teenage girls! ...

I saw my wife smile like she has not in a very long time as we heard the outcome! The healing process can now move ahead. ...

We will stay at the church for another 12 months, then I finish my studies and I will wait to see where God sends me! ...

I'm very glad to hear it!

Praying that you and you wife can heal quickly from all this, and for your studies.

 

[Radagast]

I really dont think I am a Christian anymore, someone please help.

Very sorry to hear that... this thread isn't really the best place to talk about it, but can you please start a new thread and tell us more? Perhaps here?

 

[PrincetonGuy]

I have just been imformed that the 'evil elder' did resign from eldership and all ministry!

He will be told hands off ALL women and teenage girls!

He will have to undergo counselling outside of our church and have an accountibility partner to help him in this area of sin he struggles with. The church has even offered to pay for counselling for my wife and myself!!!

I saw my wife smile like she has not in a very long time as we heard the outcome! The healing process can now move ahead.

All I can do is praise God for His working in this situation. It has drawn my wife and I closer together and strengthened us even more.

A huge thankyou to those of you for your prayers, it has meant alot to me that people, even strangers (although we are family! brothers & sisters) would pray for this issue. God bless you greatly!!! Huge hugs for all of you

We will stay at the church for another 12 months, then I finish my studies and I will wait to see where God sends me!

Thankyou God!

Thank you for this report of the glorious working of God on behalf of you and your wife. I will be continuing to pray for the two of you, that God will heal both of you from the injuries inflicted upon you, and that God will work all of this to your good and the good of your church.

 

[trinityisunity]

I am very sorry to bring this up again.

You would think after being told to lay hands off the ladies and losing your eldership and all other ministries that would make a point!!!

Sunday morning at church my dad saw the 'evil elder' with his hand on a 16/17 year old girls bottom- highly inappropriate! The girl's dad is another elder, however he is of high integrity and would die if he knew this had happened! I think I had better tell him!

This all happened after earlier this week I felt God really impressing on my heart that I had to forgive this man for what he did to my wife. I wrestled with God for a few days and then made the decision to go up to this guy and tell him that I forgive him. I thought I had forgiven him but I had not fully- if that makes sense?

I had to cease my studies last week as I cannot focus on them at all, after all that has been happening in our church over the last few months. The college has been compassionate and granted me some time to heal, grieve and get over all of it.

I went up to the guy and said what I had to say and he was a mess of tears and stuttering words. People had been going up to him all morning knowing that he had resigned from eldership due to a breach of trust and behaviour unbecoming of an elder. He gets all the attention (which he loves because it feeds his ego) but my wife who he hurt is anonymous in all of this with no real support from the pastor or other elders. :o I think now people should know who he hurt so he does not continue to have his ego fed!

My wife and I have decided to take a holiday from this church for a few
weeks to clear our heads and try to move on through all of this. It is hard when we live next door but we will do our best.

Your continued prayers would be appreciated!!!Thankyou

 

[ByWayofLight]

I think he is a good actor one minute repentant and the next he has got his hands on another women. This tells me he is not repentant at all. His heart is on the pleasures of this world not on God. His actions reveals his true nature. It's time to leave the "church" and find one that knows the difference between wolves and the sheep. Let it all go and place your faith in the God who fights the battles for you. Your new home awaits you.

 

[Radagast]

I am very sorry to bring this up again.

You would think after being told to lay hands off the ladies and losing your eldership and all other ministries that would make a point!!!

I'm very sorry to hear this man is still causing problems. I'm very sorry to hear that you're still being hurt by this, and I would urge you to look for another church. I hope you can get back to study soon.

Praying for you and your wife.

 

[PrincetonGuy]

I am very sorry to bring this up again.

You would think after being told to lay hands off the ladies and losing your eldership and all other ministries that would make a point!!!

Sunday morning at church my dad saw the 'evil elder' with his hand on a 16/17 year old girls bottom- highly inappropriate! The girl's dad is another elder, however he is of high integrity and would die if he knew this had happened! I think I had better tell him!

This all happened after earlier this week I felt God really impressing on my heart that I had to forgive this man for what he did to my wife. I wrestled with God for a few days and then made the decision to go up to this guy and tell him that I forgive him. I thought I had forgiven him but I had not fully- if that makes sense?

I had to cease my studies last week as I cannot focus on them at all, after all that has been happening in our church over the last few months. The college has been compassionate and granted me some time to heal, grieve and get over all of it.

I went up to the guy and said what I had to say and he was a mess of tears and stuttering words. People had been going up to him all morning knowing that he had resigned from eldership due to a breach of trust and behaviour unbecoming of an elder. He gets all the attention (which he loves because it feeds his ego) but my wife who he hurt is anomynous in all of this with no real support from the pastor or other elders. :o I think now people should know who he hurt so he does not continue to have his ego fed!

My wife and I have decided to take a holiday from this church for a few
weeks to clear our heads and try to move on through all of this. It is hard when we live next door but we will do our best.

Your continued prayers would be appreciated!!!Thankyou

I believe that it is very clear that the 'evil elder' has some deeply rooted psychological problems, and I believe that it would be helpful for you and your wife to accept that this is the case and compassionately pray for God to heal the man’s mind. The other people in the church are probably confused and do not know precisely how they should react to the situation, especially if they see in the 'evil elder' a different man than you do.

How you deal with the situation will probably be very much more important in your lives than what the elder did to your wife, and the congregation’s response to the elder losing his position. When we are deeply hurt by another person, it is all too easy for us to fixate upon that injury and the person who caused it resulting in an unhealthy obsession that can become much more serious than the original injury. That is one of the reasons why genuine forgiveness by the injured party is so important, and forgiveness becomes much easier as we earnestly and honestly pray for the person who injured us—not praying for God’s retribution, but praying for God’s healing grace.

In any church where we make a commitment to the church as our church home, we are going to find people with problems in their lives that are going to adversely affect us. We can get up and leave, or we can stand firm in our commitment to the church and everyone comprising it. If the time should come about that it is God’s will for us to leave the church, He will graciously show us His will. Satan, on the other hand, takes great pleasure in uprooting Christians from their church home knowing that doing so makes them more vulnerable to subsequent attacks, and he typically uproots them by pointing out problems and shortcomings in our church, and causing those problems and shortcomings to cause us distress. Our faith must be in God rather than men, and we must not allow men to dictate the course of our lives. Instead, our lives and our steadfast faith in God should be such that God can use them to shape the course of the lives of the people around us.

Stand firm, brother; we are praying for you!

 

[Doer]

I see that the man lost his position. Seems he was not ready to be there in the first place. I really feel like we should be praying for him instead of justice. God will have his revenge, no need to pray for that.