For the last 25 years I have been a christian (christ follower) and in my lifetime I grew up in a christian home, but with a mother who had borderline personality disorder (undiagnosed, but apparently low functioning). And a couple of years ago I got married to someone in a foreign country who eventually I found out had BPD and was high functioning.
I grew up with an abusive mother who emotionally and mentally abused me, while at times she also physically abused me. Shoving food down my throat etc. The woman I married turns out tried making false accusations to police and called 911 on me one week into marriage.
Over time I grew afraid and now she filed for divorce and got it March 2005. I am now living in a foreign country and after trying to intern on a Christian television show and after being expected to work 18 hours per day 7 days per week (literally), I am literally fed up with Christianity. I gave up my reasonably paying job at a mainstream TV station to go work with Christians only to be paid $400 per month and to be worked to death as slave labor. Now I have no job and my old job won't hire me back because I left.
I can't seem to find anyone who cares about anyone else but themselves. No one believed the abuse I went through as a kid, and now I'm 32, really quite angry now, and tired of the hypocrisy that is in the body of believers.
I am at a point where I'd prefer the company of non-christian friends because at least they aren't going to speak in plattitudes and they're going to be real with me as to where they are at.
I am at a point where I would rather be married to a non-christian because then I'd at least be equally yoked in every area apart from spiritually.
I am really venting right now and I am really frustrated. I'm tired of the mental games my mother plays, I'm tired of getting no real support from christians, while getting more support and understanding from my non-christian friends. I'm also tired of Christians deferring stuff to a 'counsellor' instead of doing what God has called us to do and that is to help carry one another's burdens. Counsellors only care about getting paid, and I haven't found any counsellor who is anywhere near as good as my old friends in a missions agency who actually point everything back to God.
Why is it that we as christians pretend the world to be one way when we're really lying to ourselves? Why can't we be real, and honest with where we're at? Why is it that my christian roommate compromises all the time and watches unhealthy movies and plays unhealthy video games? Why do so many Christians look like the world? Why is there no integrity in the body of Christ anymore? Why is it that I can get more love and support from non-christians than I do from Christians, especially on hard issues?

I grew up with an abusive mother who emotionally and mentally abused me, while at times she also physically abused me. Shoving food down my throat etc. The woman I married turns out tried making false accusations to police and called 911 on me one week into marriage.
Over time I grew afraid and now she filed for divorce and got it March 2005. I am now living in a foreign country and after trying to intern on a Christian television show and after being expected to work 18 hours per day 7 days per week (literally), I am literally fed up with Christianity. I gave up my reasonably paying job at a mainstream TV station to go work with Christians only to be paid $400 per month and to be worked to death as slave labor. Now I have no job and my old job won't hire me back because I left.
I can't seem to find anyone who cares about anyone else but themselves. No one believed the abuse I went through as a kid, and now I'm 32, really quite angry now, and tired of the hypocrisy that is in the body of believers.
I am at a point where I'd prefer the company of non-christian friends because at least they aren't going to speak in plattitudes and they're going to be real with me as to where they are at.
I am at a point where I would rather be married to a non-christian because then I'd at least be equally yoked in every area apart from spiritually.
I am really venting right now and I am really frustrated. I'm tired of the mental games my mother plays, I'm tired of getting no real support from christians, while getting more support and understanding from my non-christian friends. I'm also tired of Christians deferring stuff to a 'counsellor' instead of doing what God has called us to do and that is to help carry one another's burdens. Counsellors only care about getting paid, and I haven't found any counsellor who is anywhere near as good as my old friends in a missions agency who actually point everything back to God.
Why is it that we as christians pretend the world to be one way when we're really lying to ourselves? Why can't we be real, and honest with where we're at? Why is it that my christian roommate compromises all the time and watches unhealthy movies and plays unhealthy video games? Why do so many Christians look like the world? Why is there no integrity in the body of Christ anymore? Why is it that I can get more love and support from non-christians than I do from Christians, especially on hard issues?