ever felt like the prodigal's son's brother?

[candid_chick007]

(err sry kinda long, i guess if u dont wanna read all of it u can still get the general idea by reading the bold sentences and down )

I always feel uncomfortable praying or talking about God around my family. esp. like deep discussions about faith n stuff.
My family r all Christians, and have been working in the ministry a long time, but its just awkward for me for some reason. i feel like im not good enough or righteous enough. but i know God has cleansed me of my sins and i should feel no condemnation (anyways its not like i've done anything super bad. like i know God doesnt really distinguish levels of sins, sin is sin. but the worst i've done is have a bad attitude or mouth off , messy room or things kinda common to life for a teen whos stuck around the house. when u live at home of course ur gonna bump heads with someone once inawhile.) so since i dont have a horrible past life i never had a miraculous turn around. I kinda always been the "good girl"Christian, i have gradually realized theres more to it than that. but once my older sibs became Christians and had huge turn arounds in their lives than i've kinda seemed like the shrub to the rest of my fam.

so although i've learned alot and i want to live every breath servin God and doing His will, when i do the tiniest mess up than it seems like my fam comes crashing down on me like im a witch or somethin. and im thinking woah, man, so i didnt clean my room when u told me to , i know thats wrong, but when my older sis was smoking pot and punched and swore at u, she was prayed for and everyone felt sry for her cuz she didn't know God. I know i really sound critical and selfish, but dont get me wrong, im sooooooo glad she did become a Christian and is now such a strong woman of God now. i had prayed for her sooo long. but i just feel empty at home now.


anyways mabe im just feeling like i cant live up to my older siblings great works and faith. mabe feeling like the prodigal's son's brother, ya know?

and then also i think i might just feel like Jesus did in his home town. how they rejected him cuz they knew him since he was a lil boy. How his brothers and fam had the toughest time accepting him because they were like " this can't be the messiah hes just our big bro."

basically i feel like a thorny shrub at home and then a beautiful flowering tree at church and among my friends.
its not that im being a hypocrite at church, but im thinking mabe im being a hypocrite at home by not sharing with everyone how much im in love with God and His plans. and i dont feel like i can just suddenly tell them either, cuz i know they know how i feel about God already, its just i need some help disolving these feelings. i just need peace with this. its all bottled up inside. i feel kinda selfish for asking u guys for help for such a minor problem compared to all the greater ones out there. but right now this seems kinda big and dominating in my life.
ty for reading this, it helps alot just to make this known and off my chest even if its strangers reading it. any prayer,advice, verses, or words of wisdom, or sharing if u have ever felt this way too would be greatly appreciated.
be blessed all~

 

[Jenster]

Yes, I do sometimes feel like the prodigal son's brother! I hear you!

Um, I wanted to say that Jesus totally loves you, just as you are. He knows you inside and out and is pleased with you.

"The Lord Your God is with you
He is mighty to save.
He takes great delight in you.
He rejoices over you with singing.
He quiets you with His love."
-- Zephaniah 3:17

Being a Christian is about loving the Lord Your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, and loving others as yourself. It's not about being "perfect." IT's not about whehter you never mess up.

While I don't want to go against your family or anything, some of the things you mention sound like they've become too "works" oriented. "For faith we have been saved, and that is a gift of grace -- NOT by works, lest anyone should boast."

I'm sure God is pleased with how your life is turning out. You love Him! I encourage you to seek friends and even older mentors outside of your family, so that your family's opinion doesn't weigh you down quite so much. You are on your way to becoming a young woman, so stick to what you believe and seek wise counsel to guide you. You may find things are a bit rocky with your family as a teenager, but be humble and respectful while also making up your mind to follow God's unique path for you.

God bless.

 

[wayfaring man]

Hi candid ,

Again it comes to mind that so much is about balance .

While it's true we are saved by grace and not works . It is also true that where much is given , much is required .

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Not of works, lest any man should boast. <-----> Ephesians 2:8+9

And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more. <-----> Luke 12:47+48

Concerning those feelings akin to the prodigal's son's brother .

These verses come to mind -

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. <-----> 2nd Corinthians 10:12

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.
But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
For every man shall bear his own burden. <-----> Galatians 6:2-5

If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,
Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. <-----> Philippians 2:1-4

Peace and Joy In Christ .

wm

 

[janny108]

Hi candid ,

Concerning those feelings akin to the prodigal's son's brother .

These verses come to mind -

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. <-----> 2nd Corinthians 10:12



Good verse about making comparisons.
Jan

 

[millihelen]

Hi Candid,

I know exactly how you feel about some of this stuff. I was always the good christian girl and never had a big turnaround either. I thank God that i've never had to go through the rubbish that so many have had to go through before they became christians. However sometimes I find it really hard not to get jealous of others and how they seem to be doing great things because of how much they've been forgiven and it can be really difficult to stop myself from feeling really useless in comparison to others. I know it seems hard but well lately God has been teaching me a lot about perserverance and how things may not seem great and how you may feel down or whatever about situations but you just got to keep going through them and well just pray to God knowing that in the end it will all be ok. It's not deeds or works that matter it's the state of the heart. So keep your heart in God's and you'll be fine.

God bless

millihelen

 

[candid_chick007]

Jenster, Wayfaring man, Janny108, and millihelen:

Thanks sooooooooo much for your responses. You guys have given me some really good advice and some wonderful scriptures to dwell on. so true i shouldn't compare myself with other peoples works but only compare myself against myself. TY again!
be exceedingly abundantly, above all u can ask or think blessed~

 

[Johnnz]

Sadly parents are not always even handed with their children. And, for reasons I don't fully understand, I have noticed that it is often the 'good' and 'responsible' child that cops the most flak. Just don't allow the unfairness and different treatments get under yoru skin and begin to eat you away with resentment.

Bless you

John
NZ

 

[lovesong]

I can honestly say I've been where you are .. brought up in a Christian home, parents involved in ministry, etc. I had an older brother who seemed like he was always getting into trouble, while I was the 'do gooder', obeying my parents and living by the rules of the house. No, I wasn't perfect by all means either, but nothing I did compared to the stuff my brother did. And for some reason, it seemed that tho he was forgiven more when he'd get caught doing something. I thought it was a bit unfair too.

I had a really hard time talking to my parents about the Lord too, at that age. I don't know what it was, except that it just made me uncomfortable. (Now that I think of it, I really didn't talk about anything much with my parents, it seems.) I guess the difference between you and I would be that I never felt like the 'shrub' .. I just did my thing. The one thing that I did know, was that my parents prayed for all of us .. every night in their prayer time.

As a parent now, I can sort of understand the 'parent' side of the coin. I have 3 older teenagers, all of them different. But there's always one who seems to have more trouble than the others. And it seems like the focus is spent mainly on THAT one. What blew me away, was when my youngest, ( who also doesn't seem to get into much trouble) started saying like he felt like he was 'the back page', (feeling a bit ignored ). It took me a while to figure it out, but basically he was saying the same thing as your post. And that hit home.

I'm grateful that he brought that to my attention .. (which is something you might want to consider). Was it something that I did intentionally? No. But I realized that I had to be honest with myself, and admit that knowing that he was a really good kid, when he would do something wrong, I would clamp down hard on him. Why? Because I didn't want him following him the 'other's' footsteps ... making the same mistakes. Pretty unfair, isn't it?

John's right .. unfortunately, I think a lot of parents make that mistake. Not intentionally, mind you. It's like trying to make sure we as a parent don't make the same mistake with letting the 'younger' one get away with as much as the 'older' one ( who gets into trouble ) did. So if there's resentment, it's a natural response.

But unless my son hadn't brought it up, I might not have come to that realization. I'm grateful for the open communication we have between us. I have no doubt that your parents love you no less than your older siblings, Candid.

I hope this helps to make you feel better about things. You brought up a very important topic.

God bless you.