I am not defining love as it is defined in our day, or as you are. nor am I neglecting His wrath properly defined.
as for your second point, Scripture says God doesn't change, Scripture says God is love, Scripture says love is kind. therefore, if God is being kind, God is showing love. the fact that you bring this point up shows you don't get what love is as defined in the ancient Church.
which means that while you reject the warm fuzzies definition of love (rightly so), you are still defining it through very modern means.
Well, I don't know the main consensus of the ancient church's definition of love was, but I do know this: Scripture was written in the ancient Greek vernacular, it may have not been high or classical in form, it was nonetheless the tongue of the pagan, understood by the pagan, utilized by the pagan. The divinely inspired word of God, particularly the NT document, was written in the "watered-down" version of that form of Greek spoken beyond the borders of Greece in other
hellenized nations not originally native to it. Before the early church was established (officially), the meaning of what would be used to convey truth in Scripture was consistent with what was understood by pagans.
Greek not only has nuances, but there is even technicality as to particular words for particular uses, and "love" is one of them. As you know, and
I am assuming know better than me, love has at least four kinds. The one used often when talking about God's love is "agape," and in meaning and contexual understanding in other places where it is imported in Scripture, it is always understood to be an
active form of benefiting another at the expense or effort of one party to another for their good as its end. Christ suffered on behalf of sinners in order to redeem them from that divine wrath, that's a realized form of agape. It isn't just some passive feeling, it is an active doing good toward another for their greatest benefit. We do not see God actively doing all for the good of all with the same result. On the contrary we read thus:
"What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory..." (Rom. 9:22-23).
In this text, we see that the wicked were not only created to serve God's justice, leading to his glory in that, but ultimately to show how grand his love and mercy is toward those whom he has eternally set his affections on, vessels of mercy, the very objects of his love in salvation in Christ.
This is a hard verse to swallow, but we find such verses scattered all over Holy Writ, that God created the wicked to bless the righteous, whom he elected in love, from eternity.