Does CAsh Matter?

[chanis]

I am sorry to say this, but these kinds of standards will likely set you up to completely miss the perfect man that God has for you--either because you will fail to look at someone who isn't successful or because your material wants will repel the man. I am not some kind of a fortuneteller, but when you make non-essentials like this, especially those of a material nature, criteria for a husband, you always tread on dangerous ground.

You say that you aren't using your head if you go "blindly" into a relationship without looking at anything but love. Well, let me turn that around on you and ask... would you refuse to "blindly" trust God and everything He might have or not have in store for you?


Chanis, if I really have "gotten it twisted", then why do you leave open that the situation could "lead there" at all? I thought that when saved people who are on fire for God get married that divorce isn't even considered a remote possibility... if you already are resigning yourself to divorce as a possible final outcome to financial stress, are you not dooming the marriage before it starts?


Do you really need me to give you all the verses dealing with the love of money? I would be more than happy to provide you with an exhaustive list, but shouldn't some teachings be obvious?


Limiting how? Are you trying to say that I should only look for girls with the bucks? Why would God only want me to marry someone successful (in the worldly sense)?


Scripture for this?

If indeed you are conceding that my original characterization of your views was correct, then why the need to argue with me throughout this post?

What your priorities are is between you and God. You appear to have bought into the "name it/claim it" philosophy and the gospel of wealth. If you have checked the Scriptures and your own heart and truly believe that that is sound and biblical, go right ahead. I can't tell you how to think. I hope that you do find that man who meets your exacting financial standards, but the odds of finding someone who does AND has a right heart with God AND is totally interested in you have to be fairly slim.

dude it's apparent you have this warped idea of who I am and that's obviously not gonna change so I refuse to get into any type of argument with you...

 

[enelya_taralom]

I am sorry to say this, but these kinds of standards will likely set you up to completely miss the perfect man that God has for you--.

no such thing...

 

[Tuffguy]

Women always say it doesn't matter. But of course it does. And it SHOULD!!! A guy that gets up at 5am and works till 5pm says alot about his character and integrity. Sure there are guys that work 2 jobs and still just make ends meet,, they deserve just as much respect.
Most women ask right off the bat, What do you do? Some of that is to strike up conversation the rest is to size your bank account up.
I can't really fault women for this since i always ask what they do to! But then again, i think education and vocation are a big part of life. Not because of the money, but rather i like educated and hard working girls.

 

[awashinlove]

When it comes to considering a potential partner(who is a christian), does it matter if they have a lot cream(dough, money, cash, wealth)?

A lot of dough? Absolutely not. However, that is not to say money doesn't matter to me. When I consider a potential partner financial security or at least the mature, strong pursuit of financial security are indeed important. To put it simply, productivity is what counts. In my mind, financial security has nothing to do with wealth, but responsibility. One could easily be living in a small shack with a shabby car, as long as they faithfully release to the Lord His tenth, and live wisely within their means.

Frankly, I'd find myself much more impressed by an impecunious man who could live a higher lifestyle but chooses to give instead, over a man who lives comfortably.

 

[mina]

No plan of God's can be thwarted, even by our own selves. He is soverign so if someone is seeking His will, I doubt He would let them miss out on "the perfect person". If they are the "perfect person" they will agree with you about finacial matters; perfect means perfect.

 

[indra_fanatic]

Indra, if you feel its perfectly all right for you to get married and raise a family with poor finances, then by all means go ahead. Quit your job, sell your possessions and get hitched.

Tigress, I would never suggest somebody marry a bum. You are speaking in extremes now in order to set up a strawman with which to debate me. What I was challenging Chanis, and by extension everyone else, with, was whether a person is justified in rejecting as a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife a person who is of modest means (but is responsible with that modest income). I say no.

 

[indra_fanatic]

A lot of dough? Absolutely not. However, that is not to say money doesn't matter to me. When I consider a potential partner financial security or at least the mature, strong pursuit of financial security are indeed important. To put it simply, productivity is what counts. In my mind, financial security has nothing to do with wealth, but responsibility. One could easily be living in a small shack with a shabby car, as long as they faithfully release to the Lord His tenth, and live wisely within their means.

Frankly, I'd find myself much more impressed by an impecunious man who could live a higher lifestyle but chooses to give instead, over a man who lives comfortably.

That was the kind of response I was hoping to see. I never said money or work ethic shouldn't matter at all. What I do not advocate is specifically aiming to marry a man (or woman) who is well-off. In addition to the obvious Biblical commandments about wealth, what about your practical considerations? That sugar daddy or Paris Hiltonite could lose all of his or her money in a stock crash and wind up a pauper. He or she could be morally corrupted by all those riches and leave you for a trophy wife/boytoy half your age. Remember what Jesus said about the rich man and the eye of the needle...

 

[indra_fanatic]

Women always say it doesn't matter. But of course it does. And it SHOULD!!! A guy that gets up at 5am and works till 5pm says alot about his character and integrity. Sure there are guys that work 2 jobs and still just make ends meet,, they deserve just as much respect.
Most women ask right off the bat, What do you do? Some of that is to strike up conversation the rest is to size your bank account up.
I can't really fault women for this since i always ask what they do to! But then again, i think education and vocation are a big part of life. Not because of the money, but rather i like educated and hard working girls.

There is a certain amount of wisdom to that. You are saying it is industriousness and education that matters. That is fair, and it is a lot different than saying income matters. Remember, there are billionaires with inherited wealth who do nothing but sit back and collect the interest from the bank accounts they own, and then there are Ph.D.s who never rise above the lower middle class their entire lives in some lecture room, laboratory, or social work office.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

That was the kind of response I was hoping to see. I never said money or work ethic shouldn't matter at all. What I do not advocate is specifically aiming to marry a man (or woman) who is well-off. In addition to the obvious Biblical commandments about wealth, what about your practical considerations? That sugar daddy or Paris Hiltonite could lose all of his or her money in a stock crash and wind up a pauper. He or she could be morally corrupted by all those riches and leave you for a trophy wife/boytoy half your age. Remember what Jesus said about the rich man and the eye of the needle...

Not to be argumentative, but I didn't see where anyone "seriously" posted that they were looking specifically for a rich man that could offer them a Paris Hilton lifestyle? . I know some ladies joked about having a sugar daddy, but their serious replies were very similiar to awashinlove's.

Every woman that is seeking a husband will look at his finances, because regardless if he is low, middle or upper income level, he HAS to be a good steward with what he has. He has to be responsible with his money. Rich or poor, if a guy is blowing his cash left and right, a woman should look at that and take it into consideration. Especially if she has aspirations to be a stay at home mom if they should marry (on which he will have the sole responsibility of taking care of the family - of which he is the head and should be setting the example).

I don't think you should assume that just because a a woman says "money does matter" that automatically means that she is looking for a rich man.

That's all I'm saying, FWIW

 

[chanis]

Not to be argumentative, but I didn't see where anyone "seriously" posted that they were looking specifically for a rich man that could offer them a Paris Hilton lifestyle? . I know some ladies joked about having a sugar daddy, but their serious replies were very similiar to awashinlove's.

Every woman that is seeking a husband will look at his finances, because regardless if he is low, middle or upper income level, he HAS to be a good steward with what he has. He has to be responsible with his money. Rich or poor, if a guy is blowing his cash left and right, a woman should look at that and take it into consideration. Especially if she has aspirations to be a stay at home mom if they should marry (on which he will have the sole responsibility of taking care of the family - of which he is the head and should be setting the example).

I don't think you should assume that just because a a woman says "money does matter" that automatically means that she is looking for a rich man.

That's all I'm saying, FWIW

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

.

 

[intricatic]

http://www.christianforums.com/t1993562-this-is-my-life.html

I think this poem is pertinent, but maybe that's my own eccentric POV.

EDIT: Link fixed

EDIT: Okay, the post at the top. LOL

 

[BeautyForAshes]

http://http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?p=21563022&postcount=21

I think this poem is pertinent, but maybe that's my own eccentric POV.

Your link isn't working

 

[intricatic]

Your link isn't working

Eeeep I was busy making ethernet cable in class

Try it now

 

[Blank123]

Tigress, I would never suggest somebody marry a bum. You are speaking in extremes now in order to set up a strawman with which to debate me. What I was challenging Chanis, and by extension everyone else, with, was whether a person is justified in rejecting as a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife a person who is of modest means (but is responsible with that modest income). I say no.

I didn't actually see anyone here say that they needed to have someone who is rich and has a lot of good things. I did see people say they wanted to end up with someone who was capable of supporting a family and who was a good steward with the money and resources that God has blessed them with.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

in a way yes cuz if they have none and I always have to spend my money on them I'd be annoyed

 

[scraparcs]

There is a certain amount of wisdom to that. You are saying it is industriousness and education that matters. That is fair, and it is a lot different than saying income matters. Remember, there are billionaires with inherited wealth who do nothing but sit back and collect the interest from the bank accounts they own, and then there are Ph.D.s who never rise above the lower middle class their entire lives in some lecture room, laboratory, or social work office.

That's more my take on this. I don't care so much how much a man makes as the fact that he works an honest job and does it to the best of his ability. I couldn't stand being with a billionaire who lives on investments and does nothing but play golf. He has to do something worthwhile 40 hours a week as long as he is able.

Actually, I'm more uncomfortable with a man who makes much more than I do. I don't want a possible partner to be making a 6 figure income. It would make my salary a mere pittance and I'd feel as if I were a mere sideline to the relationship and not holding my own weight.

 

[indra_fanatic]

Not to be argumentative, but I didn't see where anyone "seriously" posted that they were looking specifically for a rich man that could offer them a Paris Hilton lifestyle? . I know some ladies joked about having a sugar daddy, but their serious replies were very similiar to awashinlove's.

Every woman that is seeking a husband will look at his finances, because regardless if he is low, middle or upper income level, he HAS to be a good steward with what he has. He has to be responsible with his money. Rich or poor, if a guy is blowing his cash left and right, a woman should look at that and take it into consideration. Especially if she has aspirations to be a stay at home mom if they should marry (on which he will have the sole responsibility of taking care of the family - of which he is the head and should be setting the example).

I don't think you should assume that just because a a woman says "money does matter" that automatically means that she is looking for a rich man.

That's all I'm saying, FWIW

Beauty, for the sixth or seventh time, I agree with all of that and never didn't. What makes you think I do not? No one wants to marry an irresponsible profligate. I know I sure don't. All that I meant, from the get-go, was that a person of modest means who nonetheless works hard and has ambition should not be discriminated against (James 2:1).

I voiced concern about Chamis' original post in this thread. She later validated those concerns and then some when she said "God wants me to be successful/happy/enjoy the finer things in life". At that point, I think I said that her doctrines are her business and I stopped engaging in what would only be a futile dialogue, and instead focused my comments on other posts that were more in agreement with what I have felt all along.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Beauty, for the sixth or seventh time, I agree with all of that and never didn't. What makes you think I do not? No one wants to marry an irresponsible profligate. I know I sure don't. All that I meant, from the get-go, was that a person of modest means who nonetheless works hard and has ambition should not be discriminated against (James 2:1).

I voiced concern about Chamis' original post in this thread. She later validated those concerns and then some when she said "God wants me to be successful/happy/enjoy the finer things in life". At that point, I think I said that her doctrines are her business and I stopped engaging in what would only be a futile dialogue, and instead focused my comments on other posts that were more in agreement with what I have felt all along.

In the interest of letting it die and keeping the peace in here (because I don't want to upset anyone).... you win. I would hate for you to have to explain it for an 8th time.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I'm not attracted to money much at all. God bless my wife who wasn't looking for money either.
But I can say this, it would be nice to be able to offer her more than my charming smile.
When the romanticized "all you need is love" wears off, at least for me as a male, it's hard emotionally knowing that you have nothing to offer the woman you married. I'm not saying the love disappears, just the romanticized idea of not having anything and being ok with that. After a couple of years of living in junky apartments and eating rice, the weight begins to bear down and you realize this woman gave herself to you and she's worse off for it.