He’s not even interested in purging me except for the fact that whatever needs purging is everything that impedes my loving Him with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.
But love is not coercive. The only coercion that God has involved me in is my being “coerced” to pass through this world here and now. And hey, it does suck, but it’s also kinda cool. Sun, wind, flowers, puppies. And He is offering me two choices here: to love Him and live with Him forever, or not to love Him and thus turn from Him forever, in which case I still get to live, and I still get to love.
As Augustine said, “Two cities have been formed by two loves: the earthly by the love of self, even to the contempt of God; the heavenly by the love of God, even to the contempt of self.” So in hell, I will be loving myself and my own will and my own sinful ways, just the same as I can in this life.
To me, the worst depiction of hell in scripture is in the story of Lazarus, and even there, it seems that Lazarus is able to love. “He said, ‘Then I beg you, father, send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment” (Lk 16:27-8). And the answer just below that passage explains why hell lasts forever: “If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead” (Lk 16:31). If the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ doesn’t convince us to love Him, then apparently nothing ever will. In that case, we keep going our own way. Sucks, but not utterly merciless.