Deconversion?

[Criada]

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

 

[Criada]

That doesn't really help a great deal, does it?
If I'm not saved anyway, I guess it makes the decision for me, though...

 

[SmileAndAHandshake]

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

I too am at a cross-roads And that cross-road involves de-conversion.

Why? As I explained in another thread, while I love God with all my heart, I do not believe Christian scripture or teachings when it comes to the nature of Jesus.

I almost de-converted about 6 months ago. I came back to Christianity because I felt the only reason I was de-converting was because I was being persecuted for holding more liberal beliefs by other moderate to conservative Christians (which was true at the time). So I decided it was only fair to give it one more chance without those influences being a factor. So I pushed those people away from me who were being problematic, and I gave the situation a fresh look over the last half a year.

Upon re-examining the situation with a new outlook, I still find myself with the exact same problems... so I'm now standing at the same cross-road again where I just can't accept a lot of Christian scripture nor it's teachings. Now I'm at this "almost de-converted" stage again. I basically have had to admit to myself that I can't go on calling myself a Christian though, so I have done so.

I've commenced studying in-depth of other religions to find a new place, if that's what God wants of me.

I am strictly doing God's work and I believe that fully, though Christians (and atheists) would probably bawk at me for saying that. Regardless, whether there are lessons I need to learn before I can return to my previous religion, or whether I am destined to be in a different religion, or no religion at all... no matter what it is, this is what God wants of me (to study and self-examine and make changes, whatever those changes may be). So I'm doing it.

Hmm.. that's my story and where I'm at

 

[Dark_Lite]

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

I "deconverted" a long time ago when I realized that philosophical proofs for God's existence don't work. I was agnostic for quite awhile. Only came back several years later after what could best be described as an itch in my brain.

 

[Pwnzerfaust]

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

I "deconverted" because belief in a deity is simply illogical. There's no evidence, so no more reason to believe in any gods than there is to believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. Now, that's not to say I believe there are no gods. I just don't believe there are. There is a difference.

 

[JesusFreak4L]

Criada!

Hey you!

I recently have had a time where I felt that deconversion was the best decision for me and my current state I was in. I was into drinking, sex, drugs, and struggling to even find good strong Christian friends. My life was horrible and I had no where to go to find a place to find some relief or answers.

Starting this fall, I started talking to my sister who threw some verses at me and started praying for me in my life with Christ. She reminded me that no matter what I do when it comes to sin, He will NEVER EVER desert or leave me. Christ is our best friend who wants us to be relieved and happy. Continue to search after Him Sarah! Christ WILL bless you, just remember that He is your father! I will be praying for you whole-heartedly and thinking of you!

You are such a blessing to SO many people here and I will never forget all the great things that you taught me!

Please PM me if you have any questions or wanna talk!

-Cameron

 

[leftrightleftrightleft]

i was deconverted then i came back. the main reason why i was turned off christianity was because i was raised catholic. i got sick of the rituals, the rules, the obligations. i also got caught up in the literalism of it all, i read a bunch of books about falsities, misinterpretations and myths in the bible. i got turned off by the history of the church, by the politicization of religion, and most of all, by the ignorance, disrespect and hypocrisy that so many christians exhibit. (and this forum is a perfect example of that).

i did not see god in religion. so i found god in my own personal experiences, little things, my own little rituals and self-reflection.

one thing that made me come back was that i realized that christianity should not be a religion. jesus did not want christianity to be a religion. he wanted love and respect and a world without sin or guilt or regret. "religion" divides. its tribal. faith restores. what brought me back to christianity was the simplicity of the message yet the profoundness at the same time. God = love. Love your neighbor as yourself. Live with compassion, respect. Do not envy or be prideful. All these simple, and somewhat universal, truths appear in the gospels many times. i see christianity as a way of life: bringing God into the everyday and the mundane and spreading love and joy. the amazing thing about christianity which makes it different than every other religion is that it has these things that you should do but it clearly states that you WILL fail. you will die with many failures, shortcomings, fears, and mistakes. you will hurt people, lie, be envious and self-righteous. but God will forgive you.

i think the biggest thing out of all this that pulled me back to christianity is that no one has it all figured out. no one understands everything. christianity is a religion of interpretation. it is broad and deep. if you find some christians who aren't ignorant and close-minded like i did, you may find God, love and peace in the "religion" once again.

I suggest two books: Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and More Ready Than You Realize by Brian McLaren. And maybe read Luke while you're at it, but try reading only the words that Jesus speaks and nothing else.

 

[leftrightleftrightleft]

sorry...long post

 

[Catherineanne]

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

I am sorry you are in a difficult place, Criada. It is very possible that you are experiencing what John of the Cross called the Dark Night of the Soul; in effect losing one version of God and finding a more authentic one. This is not an easy journey, and some people do end up getting lost.

I will pray for you.

http://www.karmel.at/ics/john/dn_11.html

2. If there is no one to understand these persons, they either turn back and abandon the road or lose courage, or at least they hinder their own progress because of their excessive diligence in treading the path of discursive meditation. They fatigue and overwork themselves, thinking that they are failing because of their negligence or sins. Meditation is now useless for them because God is conducting them along another road, which is contemplation and is very different from the first, for the one road belongs to discursive meditation and the other is beyond the range of the imagination and discursive reflection. 3. Those who are in this situation should feel comforted; they ought to persevere patiently and not be afflicted. Let them trust in God who does not fail those who seek him with a simple and righteous heart; nor will he fail to impart what is needful for the way until getting them to the clear and pure light of love. God will give them this light by means of that other night, the night of spirit, if they merit that he place them in it. 4. The attitude necessary in the night of sense is to pay no attention to discursive meditation since this is not the time for it. They should allow the soul to remain in rest and quietude even though it may seem obvious to them that they are doing nothing and wasting time, and even though they think this disinclination to think about anything is due to their laxity. Through patience and perseverance in prayer, they will be doing a great deal without activity on their part. All that is required of them here is freedom of soul, that they liberate themselves from the impediment and fatigue of ideas and thoughts, and care not about thinking and meditating. They must be content simply with a loving and peaceful attentiveness to God, and live without the concern, without the effort, and without the desire to taste or feel him. All these desires disquiet the soul and distract it from the peaceful, quiet, and sweet idleness of the contemplation that is being communicated to it.

http://en.hilarion.orthodoxia.org/6_6_3

In this sense abandonment is the highest stage of ‘crisis’, judgment, whereby the faithful are separated from the unfaithful. The experience of abandonment has only two possible outcomes for every Christian - either growth of faith and drawing nearer to God, or a ‘shipwreck’ in faith and a loss of God. Thus Isaac cautions against cursing God during the periods of abandonment and temptation, which may lead to a loss of faith. When one is deprived of grace, Isaac says, trust in God and a right way of thinking about God’s providence are abandoned; a person can come to the ‘conclusion that God no longer exists for him’. But instead of being angry at God, it is better for a person to remind himself of God’s good providence, and to calm himself down: ‘Draw near a little to God in your trials, O fellow human being, by means of your mental disposition. Are you really aware against whom you are thundering away? You would immediately find relief if you have the wisdom to remember the hidden providence of this very same God’.

 

[Catherineanne]

That doesn't really help a great deal, does it?
If I'm not saved anyway, I guess it makes the decision for me, though...

It is the other way round. You can have whatever doubts come your way, but you cannot erase your name from the Book of Life. When the Lord writes something, it stays written.

Meanwhile, here is your anchor:

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

Keep trusting, even when belief has gone, faith has gone, connection with God has gone. Throw away everything that you do not need any longer, but hold on to that trust.

The Lord will not abandon you.

 

[Catherineanne]

Upon re-examining the situation with a new outlook, I still find myself with the exact same problems... so I'm now standing at the same cross-road again where I just can't accept a lot of Christian scripture nor it's teachings. Now I'm at this "almost de-converted" stage again. I basically have had to admit to myself that I can't go on calling myself a Christian though, so I have done so.

I've commenced studying in-depth of other religions to find a new place, if that's what God wants of me.

I think it is important for good people such as yourself and Criada to try to remember that our faith is not a destination but a journey.

This journey takes us to lots of different places, and to meet lots of different people. Some of them will agree with us, some of them will disagree, and some will cause us to doubt our own beliefs.

All that matters in the end is whether you want to make this journey with Christ beside you, or without. It is not about believing the same as anyone else on earth, it is not about pure orthodoxy of faith with any denomination, it is not about believing the Scriptures as if they were God himself. It is about Christ.

The Lord will not abandon you, whatever you decide. You can decide to turn away from the Christian journey for 20 or 30 or 40 years, and then one day realise that there he is, just where he has always been. But you can make a choice about knowing he is there, or trying to go it alone.

Whatever you decide, I wish you peace of mind, and may God be with you.

 

[ChavaK]

I do not believe Christian scripture or teachings when it comes to the nature of Jesus.

Since the only teachings and scripture on the nature of Jesus is the Chrisitian NT, what is there not to believe?
In other words, why do you differ on the nature of Jesus from what the NT says,
and from what do you draw this belief?

Just curious...

 

[SmileAndAHandshake]

Since the only teachings and scripture on the nature of Jesus is the Chrisitian NT, what is there not to believe?
In other words, why do you differ on the nature of Jesus from what the NT says,
and from what do you draw this belief?

Just curious...

See below.

All that matters in the end is whether you want to make this journey with Christ beside you, or without. (snip) It is about Christ.

That's what the problem is for me.

I don't believe Christ is divine, or the son of God. Nor do I believe he was "nothing" ... I think he was a great teacher, and I believe he received valid messages from God to teach others, but that humanity really screwed up those messages over time and deified him (made him God) incorrectly. I also believe the Bible (all of it) is full of human error.

So I have no interest in doing my journey with Christ at my side.

I do my journey with God at my side.



No offense, I mean.

 

[ChavaK]

I don't believe Christ is divine, or the son of God.

Does Jesus in the NT claim that he is the son of G-d and
that he is divine?

I think he was a great teacher, and I believe he received valid messages from God to teach others, but that humanity really screwed up those messages over time and deified him (made him God) incorrectly.

I partially agree with you. I think he was an average Jew, but his
followers were devestated upon his death and over time came up
with him being G-d, the son of G-d, and the messiah.

I do my journey with God at my side.

 

[Catherineanne]

I don't believe Christ is divine, or the son of God.

Fair enough.

Nor do I believe he was "nothing" ... I think he was a great teacher, and I believe he received valid messages from God to teach others, but that humanity really screwed up those messages over time and deified him (made him God) incorrectly. I also believe the Bible (all of it) is full of human error.

Again, fair enough. Certainly there is human error in the Bible. Are you sure it is not the Bible you are rejecting as God, rather than Christ? It is not the same thing at all.

So I have no interest in doing my journey with Christ at my side.

I do my journey with God at my side.



No offense, I mean.

None taken. Call him God, call him Christ, call him the Holy Spirit. If he is beside you on your journey, that is enough.

What matters is to be true to yourself, and to find God through that integrity.

 

[Catherineanne]

Does Jesus in the NT claim that he is the son of G-d and
that he is divine?

The short answer is yes. I think I will stick to the short answer because this thread is about supporting those who are struggling, not about debating the nature of God; that can happen elsewhere.

I would ask you to respect that someone who is struggling needs help and encouragement, not further burdens to bear. If I found a Jew struggling with his faith, I personally would not add to his burdens, but try to help him to find his way back home to his own God.

I partially agree with you. I think he was an average Jew, but his
followers were devestated upon his death and over time came up
with him being G-d, the son of G-d, and the messiah.

A Jew, I grant you, but I don't think anyone who read his teachings, let alone their impact on the world, would call him average. That is rather mean spirited, I think.

 

[ChavaK]

The short answer is yes. I think I will stick to the short answer because this thread is about supporting those who are struggling, not about debating the nature of God; that can happen elsewhere.

You have totally misinterpreted my post; I am sorry for not making it clearer.

I am not debating the nature of G-d; I am trying to understand
the source of his struggle.

I would ask you to respect that someone who is struggling needs help and encouragement, not further burdens to bear. If I found a Jew struggling with his faith, I personally would not add to his burdens, but try to help him to find his way back home to his own God.

I am trying to understand why he is having difficulties with his
faith, and I don't think trying to understand is creating a "burden".

A Jew, I grant you, but I don't think anyone who read his teachings, let alone their impact on the world, would call him average. That is rather mean spirited, I think.

It is not being "mean spirited"; it is simply stating the position that many
Jews have of Jesus. I do not consider it "mean spirited" if you believe
that Jesus is divine, is the messiah, and is the son of G-d.

 

[Criada]

Thanks for the input.
To be honest, whether or not Jesus is divine is the least of my issues at the moment! I don't think I'll be converting to Judaism, whatever.

Catherineanne, I read the dark night of the soul last year and found it very helpful... now, it doesn't seem as profound somehow. But, that may be depression talking, rather than faith, or lack thereof.
I just don't feel I can do it any longer....

 

[Hentenza]

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

Sweety, most of us have gone through dry spells. I was an agnostic for many years simply because there were many things that I did not understand and my brain and feelings were my worst enemy. You are one of the most kind hearted people that I have ever met. The fruits of your faith are inspiring. You might not realize it but God does work through you. I have seen it and will witness to it anytime. Give it time sweety. I know you have other things in your life that make the journey that much harder and am here for you should you need me.

 

[Jane_the_Bane]

I gradually discarded (or at the very least expanded and/or modified) my childhood beliefs as I grew up. Thus, I never really experienced my deconversion from Christianity as a major, traumatic rift. It was more like realizing that the moon is just reflecting sunlight rather than emitting its own radiance: the realization changed my perceptions quite profoundly, but it was more exciting than frightening - an experience of expanding horizons rather than collapsing towers.