Deconversion?

[the.Sheepdog]

Criada, Sarah, Please know that you are never alone whatever you are going thru. Every staff member here and many members love you and pray for you and care about you. We cant help it as you loved us first.

I cannot count how many times I have caught you listening to someone hurting. I cannot count the times I have found your posts saying just the right thing to comfort someone. How many threads are you the first person to answer ?

You dont learn those things from happiness and comfort. People know you mean what you say as you have gone thru them first. Bad times and doubts really do bring compassion and wisdom. You have both in spades.

While you may not understand why the doubts and pain is brought you, please do know that you have blessed all of our lives tremendously Christian, or not.

Everyone in this thread understands your value to us and would be devastated if we were ever to lose you. It would be worse if you were to lose you.

But never ever ever ever will God ever lose you. convert, deconvert, revert, or introvert; nothing you could ever do will cause Him to ever lose faith in you, or desire for you. The same goes for a lot of us here dear.

Were family. You can chose your friends, but us you are stuck with!

 

[Jo1]

Dear sarah((((((((((hugs)))))))) im so sorry your struggling with this
I just want you to know that you are such a dear, faithful chrisitian friend, that I could have ever asked for. I think we will always be friends.I wodnt be in the race if it wasnt for you, i think i wod b in hospital or dead by now if it wasnt for your support over the last 2 years.. U really are a very special person, im so blessed to know you. God is using u, mightily, hes still there, (((((((((hugs))))))))) u know where i am. Praying for uhon, love u friend.Take care love Joxxxx

 

[Hisbygrace]

Hi Criada, when I read the story a page back posted by ANewDawn I couldn't help but cry and think how many of our lives could have been the basis for the story. I'm so sorry that you're going through this season dear sister in Christ, but you are certainly not alone and I forever believe that if God brings you to it (any situation) He will bring you through it. Love ya lil sis 's

 

[Jo1]

dont give up sis

 

[pdudgeon]

Thank you to everyone who has tried to help, I am a little overwhelmed by the response...
I am trying to think about all that has been said, and work out where I really am. It's hard, mainly because I am afraid of where it will lead. But I do appreciate the prayers and advice you have offered. I can't talk to anyone in 'real life' about it, so it does help to be able to talk here.

I'm wondering if a guided mini retreat would help? I realize that this is a busy time of year, but have you thought of just typing the word 'retreat' in a search engine and see what comes up? it would basically be just you and God and a director, and lots of quiet time to pray and write.

something to think about.....it won't be a big, grand solution, but it could be a start.

 

[hikersong]

It totally depends of the predicament one is in... If by saying being kind we mean to rationalize our present condition and to look no further for answers...but to just "appease" our questions and "relax" in our state of mind set and being I disagree....

As children of God we are told to seek and we shalll find. We are to question we are to struggle and fall and then get up again....and again and again... We are following a circle sometimes and seems exhausting and tiresome.... But if we remain in a state of doubt is defenately not a positive thing all together IMHO.

The OP asked in this tiny non-christian section for the experience of those who had "deconverted". I told her a little of my experience and gave the advice to be kind to herself because that is what I would have liked to be told at times when I was trying to find a way forward in my own life.

I am well aware that life involves suffering. However, giving your own opinion on what a correct christian view of suffering is, was not the subject of this thread.

I repeat. Be kind to yourself Criada.

 

[hikersong]

It totally depends of the predicament one is in... If by saying being kind we mean to rationalize our present condition and to look no further for answers...but to just "appease" our questions and "relax" in our state of mind set and being I disagree....

As children of God we are told to seek and we shalll find. We are to question we are to struggle and fall and then get up again....and again and again... We are following a circle sometimes and seems exhausting and tiresome.... But if we remain in a state of doubt is defenately not a positive thing all together IMHO.

The OP asked in this tiny non-christian section for the experience of those who had "deconverted". I told her a little of my experience and gave the advice to be kind to herself because that is what I would have liked to be told at times when I was trying to find a way forward in my own life.

I am well aware that life involves suffering. However, giving your own opinion on what a correct christian view of suffering is, was not the subject of this thread.

I repeat. Be kind to yourself Criada.

edit: sorry about the double post

 

[Catherineanne]

You are anglican?
I thought they believed in hell.. certainly used to when I was in the CofE.

Not any longer. Can't remember who the bishops were, but some bishops got together, had a discussion and threw it out as irreconcilable with a loving God.

The more evangelical Anglicans will still hang on to their belief in eternal punishment, but they are not the mainstream. Mainstream Anglicans do not believe in eternal punishment for finite sin.

 

[Catherineanne]

I'm wondering if a guided mini retreat would help? I realize that this is a busy time of year, but have you thought of just typing the word 'retreat' in a search engine and see what comes up? it would basically be just you and God and a director, and lots of quiet time to pray and write.

something to think about.....it won't be a big, grand solution, but it could be a start.

Superb advice.

 

[Criada]

I'm wondering if a guided mini retreat would help? I realize that this is a busy time of year, but have you thought of just typing the word 'retreat' in a search engine and see what comes up? it would basically be just you and God and a director, and lots of quiet time to pray and write.

something to think about.....it won't be a big, grand solution, but it could be a start.

Would be a nice idea... but with four kids a month before Christmas, I really can't take the time out.
But maybe at some point.
Thanks for the suggestion

 

[Catherineanne]

Would be a nice idea... but with four kids a month before Christmas, I really can't take the time out.
But maybe at some point.
Thanks for the suggestion

Any chance of half an hour to yourself once a day?

Probably not, but worth a try.

 

[Criada]

I normally manage that in the bath!
And I am trying to read the bible and to pray... but when there is no one there to listen, it seems very empty.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

Honey God hears you whether you think so or not. He's there. The enemy wants you to think he's not, but he's there. I'm still praying for you. May God reveal Himself to you in a way that you'll never guess.

 

[Criada]

Honey God hears you whether you think so or not. He's there. The enemy wants you to think he's not, but he's there. I'm still praying for you. May God reveal Himself to you in a way that you'll never guess.

You know, I've said that to so many people, and sincerely believed it. But, I've been trying for so long, and it just doesn't work for me any more.
I don't want to argue, I am very glad that you and so many others can find peace and comfort. I wish i could find a way to do so again, but I'm not sure that going backwards is possible.. certainly not at the moment.
But, I am grateful for your prayers.

 

[b&wpac4]

You know, I've said that to so many people, and sincerely believed it. But, I've been trying for so long, and it just doesn't work for me any more.
I don't want to argue, I am very glad that you and so many others can find peace and comfort. I wish i could find a way to do so again, but I'm not sure that going backwards is possible.. certainly not at the moment.
But, I am grateful for your prayers.

Dare I say you are looking too hard for an emotional connection? You aren't "feeling" anything, so it is empty. Emotions are unreliable and I would suggest avoiding following simply your emotions when making these decisions.

 

[SmileAndAHandshake]

I just wanted to let people like Catherineanne and a couple of other people who were kind and prayed for me, know that I've decided to reconsider my diversion from the Christian faith and take my concerns back to my church, that I am more equipped to deal with the issues I face in the Church than outside of it.

I go to an Anglican church and my Priest has been on vacation for 6 weeks, my agoraphobia really keeps me steering clear of "change" (the substitute priest is nice and kind but I just couldn't make myself go still for 5 of the 6 weeks).. but my priest comes back TOMORROW and I've already emailed him what I've been going through.

So yeah. I appreciate the prayers from a few people around here, and wanted to let you know.

 

[Criada]

Glad you found your way back, sweetie... I hope it works out for you.

 

[FaithfulWife]

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

My dearest sister-in-love~

As you know, I do know of all the issues involved and if you *ever* want to let it all out with someone I'm only a PM away or an email too. As you also know, I am in the USA but tend to be a late-nighter so that we are sometimes online together. I would be happy to talk with you although I will say that I do try to limit my chat time a little otherwise I get carried away .

Love, I deconverted and went completely Conservative Jewish for several years. I'll be blunt. I was angry with G*d for the years of physical abuse--what did I do to deserve that? I was a defenseless child...where was He? How could He condemn me to that kind of life when I didn't do anything? Etc. You understand, right? I think in a way I *had* to fight with Him to get it out of my system, and it's not like I don't, on the occasion, fight with Him NOW about things because life hurts! But I needed to do that struggle and do it for real because it meant being "open and honest" with G*d with my doubts and anger, and not just being fake and acting like I believed when I didn't.

Criada, a lot of people have said stuff like "you need more faith" and kind of argued about "faith." Dearest one, faith is in general the persuasion of the mind that a certain statement is true. It is the belief and the assent of the mind to the truth of what is declared by another, based on his or her authority and truthfulness. Faith involves your MIND. It's when you look over all the facts and inside your mind you make the decision, "This is the truth and I believe it." Until you get to that point, you aren't necessarily deconverting--but you are looking, evaluating, and doing your best to discern the truth and to get past the fluff to the deep down, real truth. It's not necessarily a feeling.

I know for a dead fact that you care about me--might even say that on many levels you love me--but I don't always "feel" your love. In fact sometimes I feel very lonely. That does not make your love or care for me any less TRUE. Does that make sense? That love and care just *is* and I can assent in my mind even without always feeling it. It is very much the same with G*d's love for you. You might know for a fact that He does love you because He said so--but you don't always "feel" it, and He doesn't always make life easy for us. In fact, sometimes He does put painful things in our lives to teach us things. That does not make His Love any less TRUE. And yep--G*d may love you, but I sure do too and I *am* here.

So I hope this helps a little. If you'd like to just unburden your heart to a friend who loves you, you know how to PM me and to be honest we could probably both cry in a beer together (that's an American phrase for sharing a few tears). Love you Sarah.


~FW

 

[Criada]

Thanks, I'll watch those when I get a moment.

 

[Gwenyfur]

You already know my story sweetie...
But if you want to know more...you can always find me

Whatever you choose, I loves ya