Daughter wants to wear crop top to family Thanksgiving

[*Jesus Freak*]

Humility also.

But you have to own a good piece of that as well. When you are the parent of teens you will understand that. As a parent, you can do all the right things and give all the right info; but if the child does not apply it, it does little good. It takes both sides.

I did take the knowledge they gave me and I am happy I did.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I would never tell a young women who wants a belly button ring that they shouldn't get one to experience it

No, you're right; you shouldn't say that. Because experiencing it is a coming of age thing. Especially if like you they own a two piece swimsuit - you mentioned this earlier - for which having one is really all part of the expected etiquette.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Seems a bit of a stretch to imply it defies etiquette to wear a 2-piece swimsuit without a belly button ring.

 

[RDKirk]

Our family is frantically packing for Thanksgiving travel to my in-laws. Last-minute, as always. I'm trying to coordinate outfits for the family photo and, lo and behold, DD15 has paired a crochet skirt with a crop top. The skirt does not reach the sweater and leaves a couple inches of her tummy exposed.

We allowed DD to get her belly button pierced back in April as a reward for her induction into the National Honor Society. Her school has a uniform policy so DH and I have been rather lenient about letting her "show off" the belly ring on her own time.

Family gatherings, I'm not so sure about. Relatives have made known to me their opinions regarding our girls' belly piercings. DD18 has already agreed to remove her nose hoop and conceal her tattoos until she goes back to school next week.

DH and I are socially progressive within our family and community which has rubbed off on our kids. And I am all about picking my battles as a parent.

When I talked to DD15 about her visible belly ring, she rolled her eyes with a coy grin and said with snark, "That's the style, Mom!" She is a fantastic kid; straight-A student, involved with a bunch of extracurriculars, volunteers, and is the sweetest, most loving and considerate daughter I ever could ask for from God. She never gives us an ounce of any real trouble.

Is this issue worth putting my foot down? Belly rings have become a standard form of self-expression for teenage girls. DD knows better than to wear one of her gaudy, obnoxiously long, dangly rings like she does to the beach. She's currently wearing the same simple, jeweled barbell as when she goes to the mall with her friends.

Is that tasteful enough to be memorialized forever in our family photo albums?

Thanks for your perspectives!

As a portrait photographer, I find it always best to avoid anything that can be labeled "faddish" or "trendy" or identifiable to a particular decade.

What happens is that the things that seem particularly stylish today becomes twenty years later one of those "family photo fails."

The person who was oh-so-proud to be edgy will be the very one forbidding everyone from showing the photo two decades from now.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Seems a bit of a stretch to imply it defies etiquette to wear a 2-piece swimsuit without a belly button ring.

Fair enough if this is your view; it's just that the OP already mentioned the beach in connection and @*Jesus Freak* already mentioned linkage with her bikini; but okay.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Seems a bit of a stretch...

In any case it's probably true to say that they are probably symbiotically linked with the prevalence of crop tops and two piece swimsuits. Just as young men getting single earrings 30-40 years ago was probably linked with their sisters (and their moms) getting double earrings put in.

 

[Dave-W]

Can't say it changed me immediately, but it did over time.

That is usually the way it goes.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I did take the knowledge they gave me and I am happy I did.

Fairly benign to do and rather widespread at that stage of life, anyway.