Dating is a sin- just be friends till your married, no need to complicate...

[createdtoworship]

Are you talking about young people---teens-- or adults? You have a right to interfere with a child, not with an adult. They must draw their own limits. If they put God first, there will be no problem. Unless they live under you roof, you have no right to dictate to adults, and if they live under your roof---there are boundaries for they are adults and responsible for their own actions.

I think you can dictate anything you want to anyone under your roof. Adult or child. As long as it's biblical.

 

[createdtoworship]

Here is a nice quote for friendship deniers.....

"they reach puberty at age 13, and many of them don't get married till after 30, that's two decades of coupling uncoupling, hooking up, relationships, shopping around." David brooks of the new york times in an article called social frontiers facing the young modern single.

How far is too far? 1 Timothy 5:2 says to treat older women as mothers and younger women as sisters with absolute purity. I guess you don't french kiss your sister right? I guess you don't have grabby hands at your sisters behind right? No that is not absolute purity. Again friendship draws a perfect line for you. Dating as it is defined currently is a sin.

if you are more interested in where I got my views on dating, well for one it was from years of prayer, but secondly I got some of my views (not all of them) from this conference (start at 20 minutes):
Dating: HOW pt. 1

 

[Dave-W]

Friends also go out meet each other and share each others company.

As a group. If it is just a couple, that is a date.

When i was in college, a friend I knew from highschool came up to see the campus so i invited her to the church I attended. She counted that as a date.

Has American secular culture became so bad that it has redefined the meaning of words?

I am 65 and have seen words change meanings 2 or 3 times over. That is part of how language works.

 

[lsume]

thank you for the nice post. I too am married, I believe this is my 16th year. But I was engaged 3 times before God provided my wife. So I am woefully aware of the inadequacies of modern dating tactics. I am so thankful for unanswered prayers in retrospect and I am very thankful for who he gave me. I just wish I waited more, and was a virgin when I married. All that would have been avoided if I just stopped dating all together and just believed in friendship till marriage.

What professing Christian doesn’t wish he never sinned? Thank God For Jesus The Christ.

 

[createdtoworship]

What professing Christian doesn’t wish he never sinned? Thank God For Jesus The Christ.

yes and there are promises of scripture even for those who have messed up. It says He will restore "the years that the locust have eaten" Joel 2:25

 

[Strong in Him]

yes that is my viewpoint.

Yes, but it's not logical or Scriptural.

 

[createdtoworship]

Yes, but it's not logical or Scriptural.

sir what is not scriptural is kissing someone your not married to.

 

[A Realist]

....

 

[Isilwen]

sir what is not scriptural is kissing someone your not married to.

In your opinion, of course.

 

[A Realist]

In your opinion, of course.

And Paul's too. Unfortunately, many look on Paul's opinion as being a command from God.

 

[JacksBratt]

You could have an arranged marriage. I prefer to pay my own way. That way, I owe nothing. If I don't want to be touched, I say so.

Why would paying for yourself... or having someone take you out and pay for you.. have anything to do with whether you want to be touched or not?

You don't want to be touched... say "don't touch"... Surf and turf or hamburger and fries... "No Touchy"

 

[mmksparbud]

I think you can dictate anything you want to anyone under your roof. Adult or child. As long as it's biblical.

There should, by this time, have some respect for each others views. Key word is being biblical, with love. Dictatorships get nobody anywhere. If you can't have respect for a grown childs' views, you'll end up dying alone. And if they have no respect for yours, they need to move out.

 

[Strong in Him]

sir what is not scriptural is kissing someone your not married to.

If the two people who kiss are both single, there's no problem.

And I'm female.

 

[HatGuy]

well lets analyze this, I asked people what are the reasons to date someone. Most say "to get to know someone." Well you can do that in a friendship, probably more accurately than you can in a dating relationship. so say a boy opens a door for a girl, how do you know he isn't just doing it so he can "score later." A friend on the other hand, you know that he has pure motive for opening a door for a woman, there is no possibility of a score or any physical interaction. Instead of "getting to know someone" while dating, what people are really trying to say is that they want a warm body to cuddle with, and instead of "knowing them" they desire to really "know them romantically." That is why people date. The third reason people date is "be claimed." I mean we are lonely, adam was lonely and he wanted eve. He saw all the animals that they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?" So people desire to be with someone. Well again the Bible does not validate "claiming someone" who is not your spouse. God does not see the dating aspect of relationships. There are very little if any verses on dating, however there are many verses on marriage. And I know why, it's because there are not physical benefits, no claim-ability or anything to dating someone. So there is no point. Why date someone you can't kiss? Why say ....this is my boyfriend, this is my fiance, this is my date......when God only sees marriage. According to God you are single still. It is wiser to avoid temptation all together and just stay friends, at least you know where the lines are. But as soon as you kiss, you have to start drawing boundaries, what types of kisses and where can I kiss and get away with it? Is making out, but not having sex sinful? And all these compromises come up. But again I ask you the question. Imagine you are being physical with someone elses spouse. That should scare you. Because you don't know if that is your spouse till you are married. That could be someone elses spouse. So I will finish this with one quote "they reach puberty at age 13, and many of them don't get married till after 30, thats two decades of coupling uncoupling, hooking up, relationships, shopping around." David brooks of the new york times in an article called social frontiers facing the young modern single.

How far is too far? 1 Timothy 5:2 says to treat older women as mothers and younger women as sisters with absolute purity. I guess you don't french kiss your sister right? I guess you don't have grabby hands at your sisters behind right? No that is not absolute purity. Again friendship draws a perfect line for you. Dating as it is defined currently is a sin.

I (and basically my whole church, and partnering churches) tried this like 20 years ago when "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" was a thing.

Let me tell you, it was definitely NOT simpler and in various cases a LOT more complicated.

I eventually realised the Bible was much less prescriptive about it. When I and a whole lot of friends realised the same, boom, most of us were married within four years.

Unfortunately, it's an ideal that doesn't necessarily work.

 

[Johan_1988]

yeah like I have said, dating as it's currently defined.....having a claim on someone, and/or being physical are both not found in scripture. God only sees marriage and only honors marriage, God doesn't even honor engagements. Just because you are engaged that does not mean you have a green light for fornication.

Ok ,cool now I understand what you're saying. Where I come from Christian men and women are expected just behave themselves if they go out together ,even if they call it a date. I see that where you are from the stigma attached to the word concerning bad behavior is just too great. Engaged is another story for us, but thats not a can of worms I would like to open. Talking about dating was bad enough.

 

[Johan_1988]

As a group. If it is just a couple, that is a date.

When i was in college, a friend I knew from highschool came up to see the campus so i invited her to the church I attended. She counted that as a date.

I am 65 and have seen words change meanings 2 or 3 times over. That is part of how language works.

I agree about your take on dating.

Yeah I can believe you, you've probably seen all of the variations in meanings by now. That's why I love elderly people. They can give me a straight answer about questions concerning life since they have so much accumulated life experience and wisdom.

 

[Dave-W]

sir what is not scriptural is kissing someone your not married to.

Song of Solomon starts off with "let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth." (cha 1 v 2)

Many commentators and Hebrew scholars believe that the wedding takes place later in the book.

 

[eleos1954]

well lets analyze this, I asked people what are the reasons to date someone. Most say "to get to know someone." Well you can do that in a friendship, probably more accurately than you can in a dating relationship. so say a boy opens a door for a girl, how do you know he isn't just doing it so he can "score later." A friend on the other hand, you know that he has pure motive for opening a door for a woman, there is no possibility of a score or any physical interaction. Instead of "getting to know someone" while dating, what people are really trying to say is that they want a warm body to cuddle with, and instead of "knowing them" they desire to really "know them romantically." That is why people date. The third reason people date is "be claimed." I mean we are lonely, adam was lonely and he wanted eve. He saw all the animals that they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?" So people desire to be with someone. Well again the Bible does not validate "claiming someone" who is not your spouse. God does not see the dating aspect of relationships. There are very little if any verses on dating, however there are many verses on marriage. And I know why, it's because there are not physical benefits, no claim-ability or anything to dating someone. So there is no point. Why date someone you can't kiss? Why say ....this is my boyfriend, this is my fiance, this is my date......when God only sees marriage. According to God you are single still. It is wiser to avoid temptation all together and just stay friends, at least you know where the lines are. But as soon as you kiss, you have to start drawing boundaries, what types of kisses and where can I kiss and get away with it? Is making out, but not having sex sinful? And all these compromises come up. But again I ask you the question. Imagine you are being physical with someone elses spouse. That should scare you. Because you don't know if that is your spouse till you are married. That could be someone elses spouse. So I will finish this with one quote "they reach puberty at age 13, and many of them don't get married till after 30, thats two decades of coupling uncoupling, hooking up, relationships, shopping around." David brooks of the new york times in an article called social frontiers facing the young modern single.

How far is too far? 1 Timothy 5:2 says to treat older women as mothers and younger women as sisters with absolute purity. I guess you don't french kiss your sister right? I guess you don't have grabby hands at your sisters behind right? No that is not absolute purity. Again friendship draws a perfect line for you. Dating as it is defined currently is a sin.

... and get away with it

This is a very wrong attitude (mind set). What's in the person's heart? The Lord looks at the heart. Is there lust in your (hearts)?

Matthew 5:28
New International Version
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Psalm 44:21
Would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart.

Proverbs 21:2
Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.

 

[Credos4Christ]

Some folks just love making up sins to complicate other's lives. I call bullcrap.

Agreed.

In fact, the great irony of this thread is that the OP, in attempting to uncomplicate things, accomplishes precisely the opposite.

Marriage doesn't come about one day. It's a slow culmination of friendship, romance, intimacy and love. The sacrament is then officiating that through God. Dating isn't a sin, it's in fact a significant part of finding love and working towards having a family.

 

[Blade]

Lol..sorry are looking at some Jewish customs 2000 years and 4000+ years ago and applying them to today? And we know "dating" is not a sin. I didn't "date" my wife to have some "body" to keep warm with or just wanted sex. I wanted to know her. There are some that pray together and never even kiss. Others don't always pray together and kiss. YES! to all.

Some can't stop thinking about the other sex. (believers) they need to look for someone. TO KNOW! Not to just stop the thoughts lol.

As one said and it is true. This could be a sin for YOU. God does not hold us accountable to what and how some other believer reads His word.