Dating is a sin- just be friends till your married, no need to complicate...

[createdtoworship]

well lets analyze this, I asked people what are the reasons to date someone. Most say "to get to know someone." Well you can do that in a friendship, probably more accurately than you can in a dating relationship. so say a boy opens a door for a girl, how do you know he isn't just doing it so he can "score later." A friend on the other hand, you know that he has pure motive for opening a door for a woman, there is no possibility of a score or any physical interaction. Instead of "getting to know someone" while dating, what people are really trying to say is that they want a warm body to cuddle with, and instead of "knowing them" they desire to really "know them romantically." That is why people date. The third reason people date is "be claimed." I mean we are lonely, adam was lonely and he wanted eve. He saw all the animals that they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?" So people desire to be with someone. Well again the Bible does not validate "claiming someone" who is not your spouse. God does not see the dating aspect of relationships. There are very little if any verses on dating, however there are many verses on marriage. And I know why, it's because there are not physical benefits, no claim-ability or anything to dating someone. So there is no point. Why date someone you can't kiss? Why say ....this is my boyfriend, this is my fiance, this is my date......when God only sees marriage. According to God you are single still. It is wiser to avoid temptation all together and just stay friends, at least you know where the lines are. But as soon as you kiss, you have to start drawing boundaries, what types of kisses and where can I kiss and get away with it? Is making out, but not having sex sinful? And all these compromises come up. But again I ask you the question. Imagine you are being physical with someone elses spouse. That should scare you. Because you don't know if that is your spouse till you are married. That could be someone elses spouse. So I will finish this with one quote "they reach puberty at age 13, and many of them don't get married till after 30, thats two decades of coupling uncoupling, hooking up, relationships, shopping around." David brooks of the new york times in an article called social frontiers facing the young modern single.

How far is too far? 1 Timothy 5:2 says to treat older women as mothers and younger women as sisters with absolute purity. I guess you don't french kiss your sister right? I guess you don't have grabby hands at your sisters behind right? No that is not absolute purity. Again friendship draws a perfect line for you. Dating as it is defined currently is a sin.

 

[Dave-W]

There are very little if any verses on dating,

that is because dating was invented almost 1800 years after the NT was written.

 

[Dave-W]

adam was lonely and he wanted eve. He saw all the animals that they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?"

You are writing stuff into the Scriptural text now? Adam never said that; nor is there any evidence from the text that he even asked God about it. It was God who determined that he needed a mate.

 

[createdtoworship]

that is because dating was invented almost 1800 years after the NT was written.

yes sir, you are correct. But we have prophecies greater than that in length in the Bible. If God wanted it in there, it would be in there.

You are writing stuff into the Scriptural text now? Adam never said that; nor is there any evidence from the text that he even asked God about it. It was God who determined that he needed a mate.

I was simply saying adam was in the process of naming the animals if I am not mistaken when he realized he was lonely. He may have seen that the animals were all male and female, but he was alone, that is one theory. I hope that helps.

 

[Dave-W]

I was simply saying adam was in the process of naming the animals if I am not mistaken when he realized he was lonely. He may have seen that the animals were all male and female, but he was alone, that is one theory. I hope that helps.

It does not help. There is absolutely NO INDICATION whatsoever that Adam was lonely, or that he even would have understood what lonliness was.

After All, God was there with him in the garden. One is never lonely with God's presence that close.

 

[Dave-W]

Look - I understand what you are saying (at least I think i do) since I attended a congregation which absolutely forbade dating, bf/gf relationships and even male female platonic friendships.

But calling something a "sin" that is not specifically listed in scripture as sinful to me is a very dangerous game, spiritually speaking. As you said, there were prophecies that covered things thousands of years before hand.

Our Lord rightly criticized the Pharisees for making up sins. For the most part they were well meaning in doing it. they called it "putting a fence around the Law."
If the scripture says "Don't do A," and you think that if you do B it will lead to doing A, then you make a fence that says "Don't do B." And say it with the same force as "Don't do A."

But what about C? If you do that, you might do B, which is forbidden, because it leads to A. What about D? E? F?

You are saying that dating is a sin; i assume you are saying it because dating often leads to fornication. Fornication (A) is forbidden in scripture, but dating (B) is NOT forbidden. You are building your own fence around the Law. Our Lord told the Pharisees they were wrong for doing that.

 

[createdtoworship]

I don't think there is anything wrong with a kiss goodnight. By that point in time you should be courting not dating. If you call him your 'boyfriend' you are also not dating, you are courting.

what if God tells you to break it off courting that guy and you both marry other people, then in God's eyes you kissed another persons spouse, because God sees the end from the beginning.

Of course there are few verses on dating, they didn't date, they had arranged marriages or a man saw a woman and asked her father for her hand in marriage and that was that.
This is not how it is now. These days it can be very difficult finding suitable men to even date let alone court, and if your answers are anything to go by, no wonder.

inappropriate contentography is not in the Bible does that mean it's not wrong?

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Dating is a sin- just be friends till your married, not need to complicate...

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Now that I'm 69 years old
sure sounds good on paper
try telling that to my wife and I
when we were in our late teens
or 16 years old.

I had a big crush on a little girl
in the third grade
a whole lot of kissing going on
we planned on getting married.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Would have been best
to follow God's plan
sin taste good for a while
but, usually a price to pay later.
M-Bob

 

[createdtoworship]

It does not help. There is absolutely NO INDICATION whatsoever that Adam was lonely, or that he even would have understood what lonliness was.

After All, God was there with him in the garden. One is never lonely with God's presence that close.

so adam was alone according to genesis 2:18 but he really didn't need the extra baggage of a woman? I am not sure where you are going with this?

 

[createdtoworship]

Dating is a sin- just be friends till your married, not need to complicate...

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Now that I'm 69 years old
sure sounds good on paper
try telling that to my wife and I
when we were in our late teens.
M-Bob

well I have had my share of relational screw ups, I wish someone shared the wisdom of this thread with me. I tried it all, i tried not kissing until marriage, not doing side hugs and not frontal hugs because those were too scandalous, I tried all the various pure ways to date. And I still lost my virginity. I am not saying that I am a prime example, I am sure I was weaker than many others out there. But for me personally not entertaining dating would have saved alot of heartache and baggage on my wife (later).

 

[Dave-W]

so adam was alone according to genesis 2:18 but he really didn't need the extra baggage of a woman? I am not sure where you are going with this?

The only place i am going with that one is to tell you to not make things up that are not clearly stated in scripture.

I said nothing about "baggage." He probably had no idea what that even meant. He certainly did not know what a woman was. She had not been invented yet.

 

[createdtoworship]

Look - I understand what you are saying (at least I think i do) since I attended a congregation which absolutely forbade dating, bf/gf relationships and even male female platonic friendships.

But calling something a "sin" that is not specifically listed in scripture as sinful to me is a very dangerous game, spiritually speaking. As you said, there were prophecies that covered things thousands of years before hand.

Our Lord rightly criticized the Pharisees for making up sins. For the most part they were well meaning in doing it. they called it "putting a fence around the Law."
If the scripture says "Don't do A," and you think that if you do B it will lead to doing A, then you make a fence that says "Don't do B." And say it with the same force as "Don't do A."

But what about C? If you do that, you might do B, which is forbidden, because it leads to A. What about D? E? F?

You are saying that dating is a sin; i assume you are saying it because dating often leads to fornication. Fornication (A) is forbidden in scripture, but dating (B) is NOT forbidden. You are building your own fence around the Law. Our Lord told the Pharisees they were wrong for doing that.

read the OP sir, I lay it out plainly. Being physical with someone not your spouse is a sin, it does not matter if it's just a kiss on the cheek. Well, make a kiss on the cheek is ok. But you get where I am going. Being physical with someone not your spouse is not ok. What if God tells you to break off that relationship, you want to leave it as purely as you entered it. With no baggage. If you have a physical history with someone, you have given part of your heart away, then when you break up part of your heart is gone. And that part will be needed by your spouse some day. I still don't buy flowers for my wife because I got flowers every day for one girl I dated for months and months, and she ultimately broke my heart. But my wife is way too frugal anway for a 5 dollar rose or a 30 dollar bouquet. She would be very mad if I bought one by surprise. But you see what I mean, relationships leave baggage. Baggage that your spouse should not have to carry.

 

[createdtoworship]

The only place i am going with that one is to tell you to not make things up that are not clearly stated in scripture.

I said nothing about "baggage." He probably had no idea what that even meant. He certainly did not know what a woman was. She had not been invented yet.

I thought that was where you were going. Well sir this is a fallacy of poisoning the well. I already refuted your refutation but say I was absolutely 100% wrong in 9 out of 10 statements, that does not mean the 10th one is in error. That is what poisoning the well means. And it's a fallacy in debate.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

There is absolutely NO INDICATION whatsoever that Adam was lonely, or that he even would have understood what lonliness was.





After All, God was there with him in the garden. One is never lonely with God's presence that close.

Ok maybe we might believe that
but, only until Adam saw Eve
then he probably had some very deep desires.

M-Bob

 

[Dave-W]

I am not saying that I am a prime example, I am sure I was weaker than many others out there. But for me personally not entertaining dating would have saved my virginity for my wife.

Yes I get that. But there is a difference between what is applicable to you personally, and what is applicable to everyone at all times.

 

[createdtoworship]

Yes I get that. But there is a difference between what is applicable to you personally, and what is applicable to everyone at all times.

the point is it's a sin. As adressed in other posts.

 

[Jonathan Walkerin]

that is because dating was invented almost 1800 years after the NT was written.

Yes, there totally was not unmarried interaction going for the last 2000 years ...no , sir....everyone was totally celibate until they were properly wed and this dating thing is totally new owing to our corrupt generation since sex drives did not exist past 2000 years.....

 

[Dave-W]

. If you have a physical history with someone, you have given part of your heart away, then when you break up part of your heart is gone.

That is part of the "Purity Culture" thing Joshua Harris started, and later repudiated. If you do a google search on "Purity Culture Fail" you will find story after story after story of how that mentality permanently scarred people. Our Lord said "You shall know them by their fruits," and that is NOT GOOD FRUIT.

As to "giving part of your heart away," that can be done with no physical contact or even friendship. I know. BTDT at least 3 times.

 

[splish- splash]

well lets analyze this, I asked people what are the reasons to date someone. Most say "to get to know someone." Well you can do that in a friendship, probably more accurately than you can in a dating relationship. so say a boy opens a door for a girl, how do you know he isn't just doing it so he can "score later." A friend on the other hand, you know that he has pure motive for opening a door for a woman, there is no possibility of a score or any physical interaction. Instead of "getting to know someone" while dating, what people are really trying to say is that they want a warm body to cuddle with, and instead of "knowing them" they desire to really "know them romantically." That is why people date. The third reason people date is "be claimed." I mean we are lonely, adam was lonely and he wanted eve. He saw all the animals that they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?" So people desire to be with someone. Well again the Bible does not validate "claiming someone" who is not your spouse. God does not see the dating aspect of relationships. There are very little if any verses on dating, however there are many verses on marriage. And I know why, it's because there are not physical benefits, no claim-ability or anything to dating someone. So there is no point. Why date someone you can't kiss? Why say ....this is my boyfriend, this is my fiance, this is my date......when God only sees marriage. According to God you are single still. It is wiser to avoid temptation all together and just stay friends, at least you know where the lines are. But as soon as you kiss, you have to start drawing boundaries, what types of kisses and where can I kiss and get away with it? Is making out, but not having sex sinful? And all these compromises come up. But again I ask you the question. Imagine you are being physical with someone elses spouse. That should scare you. Because you don't know if that is your spouse till you are married. That could be someone elses spouse.

Picture this: If God brings someone into your life for marriage, what's the point in trying to study their character by having a lengthy courtship? What is it that you think you'll find out about their character next year, that God did not already know during creation? Food for thought right there! I for 1 used to be big on long dating seasons by the way.

 

[Dave-W]

the point is it's a sin. As adressed in other posts.

It may be a sin for you if God told YOU SPECIFICALLY not to do that.

But that does not mean it is a sin for anyone else. God deals with us as individuals. He is not a "once size fits all" person at all.