Dating is a sin- just be friends till your married, no need to complicate...

[Maria Billingsley]

well lets analyze this, I asked people what are the reasons to date someone. Most say "to get to know someone." Well you can do that in a friendship, probably more accurately than you can in a dating relationship. so say a boy opens a door for a girl, how do you know he isn't just doing it so he can "score later." A friend on the other hand, you know that he has pure motive for opening a door for a woman, there is no possibility of a score or any physical interaction. Instead of "getting to know someone" while dating, what people are really trying to say is that they want a warm body to cuddle with, and instead of "knowing them" they desire to really "know them romantically." That is why people date. The third reason people date is "be claimed." I mean we are lonely, adam was lonely and he wanted eve. He saw all the animals that they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?" So people desire to be with someone. Well again the Bible does not validate "claiming someone" who is not your spouse. God does not see the dating aspect of relationships. There are very little if any verses on dating, however there are many verses on marriage. And I know why, it's because there are not physical benefits, no claim-ability or anything to dating someone. So there is no point. Why date someone you can't kiss? Why say ....this is my boyfriend, this is my fiance, this is my date......when God only sees marriage. According to God you are single still. It is wiser to avoid temptation all together and just stay friends, at least you know where the lines are. But as soon as you kiss, you have to start drawing boundaries, what types of kisses and where can I kiss and get away with it? Is making out, but not having sex sinful? And all these compromises come up. But again I ask you the question. Imagine you are being physical with someone elses spouse. That should scare you. Because you don't know if that is your spouse till you are married. That could be someone elses spouse.

Interesting however, highly not probable to avoid sexual desire after all, God gave men and women that desire. The concept of just "staying friends" is not the same as developing a relationship romantically which is required in all marriages. I fear you have distorted scripture in order to justify the lack of will power to remain celibate during the courting stage of a relationship.
I hope you find a balance.
Blessings

 

[Sparagmos]

well I have had my share of relational screw ups, I wish someone shared the wisdom of this thread with me. I tried it all, i tried not kissing until marriage, not doing side hugs and not frontal hugs because those were too scandalous, I tried all the various pure ways to date. And I still lost my virginity. I am not saying that I am a prime example, I am sure I was weaker than many others out there. But for me personally not entertaining dating would have saved alot of heartache and baggage on my wife (later).

People are not going to stop dating, or kissing, or hugging. We were created with strong desire to do all of these things, and romantic feelings cannot be ignored.

 

[lsume]

When Paul said it was better to marry than to burn it was in the context of the return of Jesus was expected momentarily.

The mystery that few receive is that being born again is mandatory. Christ came to me as a thief in the night almost exactly 30 years ago. That story is long and ongoing. One of the realities of being born again is that we need to be broken to a great extent. However, this might be lessened for those who have walked properly in Christ. I had professed being born again for probably 15 or 16 previous years. When Christ came to me and revealed Himself, it was easily the most exciting day of my life. That was just the beginning. As I’ve been blessed to grow, I’ve also been allowed to repent over past sin. My question to you assuming you believe my testimony is; Was Christ coming to me and opening my eyes and ears to hear The Word and understand the Truths in the mystery of The Fellowship what the disciples were referring to at times? There is a time that only God The Father knows when Christ will rule. That is the second coming of Christ. On a sidebar to this, the Iranians believe that when the world is on the brink of self destruction, their Mahdi will appear along with Christ to promote Sharia Law and bow to Allah and possibly Muhammad. There is a fair amount written about this and I needed to include it. I believe this is very timely information. The only way anyone can even approach living according to The Word is by being born again.

 

[Dave-W]

I think this whole line of discussion is going WAY off from the OP statement about dating being sinful.

 

[JacksBratt]

well lets analyze this, I asked people what are the reasons to date someone. Most say "to get to know someone." Well you can do that in a friendship, probably more accurately than you can in a dating relationship. so say a boy opens a door for a girl, how do you know he isn't just doing it so he can "score later." A friend on the other hand, you know that he has pure motive for opening a door for a woman, there is no possibility of a score or any physical interaction. Instead of "getting to know someone" while dating, what people are really trying to say is that they want a warm body to cuddle with, and instead of "knowing them" they desire to really "know them romantically." That is why people date. The third reason people date is "be claimed." I mean we are lonely, adam was lonely and he wanted eve. He saw all the animals that they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?" So people desire to be with someone. Well again the Bible does not validate "claiming someone" who is not your spouse. God does not see the dating aspect of relationships. There are very little if any verses on dating, however there are many verses on marriage. And I know why, it's because there are not physical benefits, no claim-ability or anything to dating someone. So there is no point. Why date someone you can't kiss? Why say ....this is my boyfriend, this is my fiance, this is my date......when God only sees marriage. According to God you are single still. It is wiser to avoid temptation all together and just stay friends, at least you know where the lines are. But as soon as you kiss, you have to start drawing boundaries, what types of kisses and where can I kiss and get away with it? Is making out, but not having sex sinful? And all these compromises come up. But again I ask you the question. Imagine you are being physical with someone elses spouse. That should scare you. Because you don't know if that is your spouse till you are married. That could be someone elses spouse.

Dating is not a sin... What you do while dating would indicate as being sinful or not....

Eating is not a sin... eating too much is.

Playing a sport is not a sin.. Playing so much, let's say golf, so that you don't keep up with your work, or duties as a father and husband... is a sin.

Talking.... not a sin.... what you say... could be sinful.

Wanting a car... not a sin.. you need it for getting around... buying a car that costs almost as much as your house.. or with money you cannot afford to spend on a car... is a sin.

Working out in a gym.. not a sin.. doing it so much that you neglect other responsibilities.. or to fuel your vanity.... yep... a sin..

I could go on.. but.... dating is not a sin.

 

[Dave-W]

The concept of just "staying friends" is not the same as developing a relationship romantically which is required in all marriages.

Agree that Friends and Romantic relationships are very different.

Whether romantic feelings are "REQUIRED in all marriages" is another thing altogether. I am not sure they are required since the cultures that have arranged marriages including where the first time the couple meet is at the wedding seem to have have a significantly greater success rate of marriages than the US and western Europe where romance reigns.

 

[summerville]

The mystery that few receive is that being born again is mandatory. Christ came to me as a thief in the night almost exactly 30 years ago. That story is long and ongoing. One of the realities of being born again is that we need to be broken to a great extent. However, this might be lessened for those who have walked properly in Christ. I had professed being born again for probably 15 or 16 previous years. When Christ came to me and revealed Himself, it was easily the most exciting day of my life. That was just the beginning. As I’ve been blessed to grow, I’ve also been allowed to repent over past sin. My question to you assuming you believe my testimony is; Was Christ coming to me and opening my eyes and ears to hear The Word and understand the Truths in the mystery of The Fellowship what the disciples were referring to at times? There is a time that only God The Father knows when Christ will rule. That is the second coming of Christ. On a sidebar to this, the Iranians believe that when the world is on the brink of self destruction, their Mahdi will appear along with Christ to promote Sharia Law and bow to Allah and possibly Muhammad. There is a fair amount written about this and I needed to include it. I believe this is very timely information. The only way anyone can even approach living according to The Word is by being born again.

Most Iranians don't take that literally.

 

[summerville]

Agree that Friends and Romantic relationships are very different.

Whether romantic feelings are "REQUIRED in all marriages" is another thing altogether. I am not sure they are required since the cultures that have arranged marriages including where the first time the couple meet is at the wedding seem to have have a significantly greater success rate of marriages than the US and western Europe where romance reigns.

The Saudis have a 50% divorce rate.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Agree that Friends and Romantic relationships are very different.

Whether romantic feelings are "REQUIRED in all marriages" is another thing altogether. I am not sure they are required since the cultures that have arranged marriages including where the first time the couple meet is at the wedding seem to have have a significantly greater success rate of marriages than the US and western Europe where romance reigns.

Well since infidelity is the number one reason for divorce it would be safe to say that romance in a marriage is pretty important.

 

[splish- splash]

People are not going to stop dating, or kissing, or hugging. We were created with strong desire to do all of these things, and romantic feelings cannot be ignored.

I do know the Lord has told us that in Him, it is achievable. So yeh, I do believe people can actually date without getting sexually involved.

 

[lsume]

Most Iranians don't take that literally.

Could be that your right. However I think that their supreme leader, their ayatollah, isn’t one of those.

 

[splish- splash]

when I was compomising in my walk before I dated my wife, girls would break up with me because I was too physical. See sometimes girls think that making out takes away from marriage and simulates a marriage. And they would feel empty inside and repent. But I would always be wondering what I did wrong? Well my relationship was based on lust not love. Thats why you should "kiss dating goodbye." Just as the book says.

Ok let's get God's word out on dating. Why do you classify it as a sin? If people avoid using the titles boyfriend/girlfriend and use 'friends' instead yet they've opened up about their feelings towards each other, go for lunch or dinner together, go & watch a rugby tournament, call each other everyday and go places together. What's the difference coz they are literally dating??

 

[Salvadore]

well lets analyze this, I asked people what are the reasons to date someone. Most say "to get to know someone." Well you can do that in a friendship, probably more accurately than you can in a dating relationship. so say a boy opens a door for a girl, how do you know he isn't just doing it so he can "score later." A friend on the other hand, you know that he has pure motive for opening a door for a woman, there is no possibility of a score or any physical interaction. Instead of "getting to know someone" while dating, what people are really trying to say is that they want a warm body to cuddle with, and instead of "knowing them" they desire to really "know them romantically." That is why people date. The third reason people date is "be claimed." I mean we are lonely, adam was lonely and he wanted eve. He saw all the animals that they were paired off male and female, and he is like ...."where is my female?" So people desire to be with someone. Well again the Bible does not validate "claiming someone" who is not your spouse. God does not see the dating aspect of relationships. There are very little if any verses on dating, however there are many verses on marriage. And I know why, it's because there are not physical benefits, no claim-ability or anything to dating someone. So there is no point. Why date someone you can't kiss? Why say ....this is my boyfriend, this is my fiance, this is my date......when God only sees marriage. According to God you are single still. It is wiser to avoid temptation all together and just stay friends, at least you know where the lines are. But as soon as you kiss, you have to start drawing boundaries, what types of kisses and where can I kiss and get away with it? Is making out, but not having sex sinful? And all these compromises come up. But again I ask you the question. Imagine you are being physical with someone elses spouse. That should scare you. Because you don't know if that is your spouse till you are married. That could be someone elses spouse.

 

[lsume]

I think this whole line of discussion is going WAY off from the OP statement about dating being sinful.

You might be right Dave but I have to put down what The Good Lord gives me. The issue pertaining to the beliefs of typical Iranians is heavily weighted in favor of their supreme leader. However, please forgive me for getting off topic.

 

[Salvadore]

You could have an arranged marriage. I prefer to pay my own way. That way, I owe nothing. If I don't want to be touched, I say so.

 

[nonaeroterraqueous]

So...what kind of feelings do you think separate 'friend' from 'potential spouse'?

Not as much as most people seem to assume. All of the attributes that contribute to a healthy marriage are relevant to a friendship, also. What tangles it up are matters of lust, idealism, fantasy and that sort of thing, which have no place in a sane friendship. All of these things are temporary and leave us stuck with someone we don't respect or like.

In my case, my wife was my best friend. I used marriage to keep her in my life.

 

[Ricky M]

Were Adam and Eve married?

 

[Andrewn]

Ok let's get God's word out on dating. Why do you classify it as a sin? If people avoid using the titles boyfriend/girlfriend and use 'friends' instead yet they've opened up about their feelings towards each other, go for lunch or dinner together, go & watch a rugby tournament, call each other everyday and go places together. What's the difference coz they are literally dating??

Whether dating is a sin or not depends on how dating is defined and practiced. The OP assumes that making out distinguishes dating from friendship.

 

[Miles]

We're talking about two things here:
Sin and Dating

Sin is wrong, regardless of whether you're dating or not.

Dating is as old as humanity, and means different things to different people. For some, it's more like being friends. For others, it's more like marriage. And everything in-between, including courtship (which just another form of dating). This can be a challenge for single folks. Finding somebody who sees things similarly enough to how they do.

Is dating sinful in and of itself? No.
Is sin sinful in and of itself? Yes.

 

[lsume]

Agree that Friends and Romantic relationships are very different.

Whether romantic feelings are "REQUIRED in all marriages" is another thing altogether. I am not sure they are required since the cultures that have arranged marriages including where the first time the couple meet is at the wedding seem to have have a significantly greater success rate of marriages than the US and western Europe where romance reigns.

I think it’s because they take marriage as the sacrament it’s supposed to be right?