Cuckolds??

[erin74]

Hosea was told, by God, to marry a prostitute to demonstrate what Israel had done as a nation when it worshipped other gods and intermarried with other nations. Basically Hosea's marriage was a symbol of what God felt like -that he was married to a prostitute (Israel).

that's the very rough short version.

 

[lin1235]

For the language purists, it's cuckold, not cockold...

And I always thought the term referred to a man who didn't know his wife was cheating on him - her cheating behind his back would be the "cuckolding".

As for why a man would stay, I think it depends on the guy. Willingness to forgive, true repentance from the wife, a God-given ability to focus on the future, etc. could all come into play.

 

[GQ Chris]

I can forgive a cheating woman, but I don't have to stay with her.

 

[InTheFlame]

I can forgive a cheating woman, but I don't have to stay with her.

You seem rather hung-up on this theme. Have people been telling you that you should've stayed with your ex who cheated on you?

 

[GQ Chris]

No. Just venting on this matter that I feel passionately about.

 

[InTheFlame]

No. Just venting on this matter that I feel passionately about.

It just seems to be a given - that breaking up with someone who cheats on you before you even get married is generally the smart thing to do.

Have you talked with people about how you felt - and feel now - about the whole horrible situation? I'm wondering if that might do you more good than simply asserting that you did the right thing. Know what I mean?

 

[4jacks]

what's the point?

if you've already made up your mind on the subject, why bother posting multiple threads about how someone could do the opposite?

it just comes across as belittling to those who's marriages have survived adultery...

 

[agyevesam]

I don't think that it matters which partner cheats, it is a a clear sign that there are problems in the marriage. No spouse has the right to cheat on the other, man or woman!!

It shouldn't be a question of if the man should stay, it should be if the spouse would stay. GQ Chris, I don't know if you meant it to sound sexist, but thats how it comes across.......

Maybe the question should read, would anyone stay if there spouse was cheating?????

 

[GQ Chris]

Not trying to sound sexist at all. But just wanted to see cuckoldry from a different perspective; and I am sorry if you're offended by this by me just posting something about cuckoldry, but if those people who say their marriages have survived affairs, than why is a thread like this a problem for someone? I am not belittling, or insulting anyone. If you're offended, that's your own issue.

 

[Leanna]

I call this beating a dead horse. Get over it already.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

A "cuckold" is a man who has been cheated on. So he's asking how a husband can stay in the marriage after his wife has cheated.

Cuckold: see this man. In Andrew's case it is called "laying your wife on the line for your country's sake". Also, Andrew is a Roman Catholic, and the Vatican frowns upon divorce.

I don't know that it's only a old-time word. There are some communities where men WANT their wives to cheat and be openly promiscuous. Those husbands are cuckolded, and proud.

True, see above for an example.

DIANE

 

[Southern Cross]

Yup, scripturally speaking, the Bible does allow for divorce in cases of infidelity (how cuckoled fits into this, I have no idea). If your spouse has an affair, you could ask them to leave and file for divorce, but it's far better to try to work things out and save the marriage. Any guy - or girl - who asks for a divorce without trying to at least forgive each other and make the marriage what it was meant to be in the first place might be losing out on a very strong, blessed marriage in the future. It's far easier to walk away than it is to stay and work through the issues. But the long term blessings are very evident a few years down the road if you are willing to put the time and effort into each other and make things work. Trust can be rebuilt and restored.

A cheater hurts their partner tremendously. But the "innocent" spouse should also take a look at themselves, too. There are usually problems in a marriage that influences one spouse or the other to begin an affair or do the one night stand thing.

 

[lin1235]

I don't think there is a cut and dried "this is the best thing to do if your spouse cheats" answer. There are cases where the best thing would be to end it, and others where it's better to try and work things out - so I honestly think endlessly debating the issue won't bring us anywhere. Every person has to work things through with their own relationship and with God.

 

[GQ Chris]

I call this beating a dead horse. Get over it already.

You don't have to respond to this thread if it bothers you that much; in fact you don't even have to read it, but the simple fact that you do shows that you're curious as to what everyone's responses are.

 

[GQ Chris]

what's the point?

if you've already made up your mind on the subject, why bother posting multiple threads about how someone could do the opposite?

it just comes across as belittling to those who's marriages have survived adultery...

Again, I am not belittling anyone; but if you take it as coming across that way, then you really have to ask yourself why this thread continues to irritate you so much. You don't have to respond to this threead if you don't want to, in fact, you don't even have to read the responses to this thread, but since you do, it shows that you are interested in what other people's responses are but there is some underlying reason as to why this thread really rubs you the wrong way.

 

[4jacks]

but there is some underlying reason as to why this thread really rubs you the wrong way.

Here is what rubs me the wrong way
Various People have asked you NOT to use the word cuckold becuase they find it offensive...
Your response:

..................cuckoldry ......cuckoldry........................ If you're offended, that's your own issue.

That is what rubs me the wrong way...
But hey I guess that's my issue right?

 

[Leanna]

You don't have to respond to this thread if it bothers you that much; in fact you don't even have to read it, but the simple fact that you do shows that you're curious as to what everyone's responses are.

Yeah, we had another good thread about this, remember? But this is the second thread on this subject.... many people answered your question before... So yeah its getting to the beating the dead horse stage, and yeah I open most of the threads most of the time. I am always curious but that doesn't make it any less dead-horse-beating

 

[FaithfulServant]

I agree that you are beating a dead horse.

I agree that you are coming across sexist.

Above all, I think you have a horrible attitude toward most people on this thread. Just because you are hiding behind a computer screen doesn't mean you should treat your Christian brothers and sisters any differently than you would in real life. (and if you would have this attitude in real life, then that's a whole different thread.....)

If you ever get married and your wife cheats on you then you can divorce her. And in your own words: "Thats your issue." But making threads like this are not doing anything to further your understanding of cheating in marriage. How about you go explore some of the threads of the men AND WOMEN who have been through this? That would be a much more productive use of your time.

 

[GQ Chris]

Let's see, I am beating a dead horse, and in the opinion of "some" coming across as sexist... but I don't think I blatantly violated any forum rules here..

It turns out the last two people that were really bothered with this thread either perpetrated affairs or were victimes of, and thus, understandably are bothered by this thread. But like I said you don't have to be on this thread or respond, to each his own. You know what really irritates me? Atheists, and that's why I never go on those threads with Atheists because I get heated, its a little too intense for me to get into and I get angry, so what do I do? Easy, I avoid those threads.

So then let me ask you "FaithfulServant"...

..was there a time while married, that you weren't "faithful"??

 

[FaithfulServant]

Let's see, I am beating a dead horse, and in the opinion of "some" coming across as sexist... but I don't think I blatantly violated any forum rules here..

It turns out the last two people that were really bothered with this thread either perpetrated affairs or were victimes of, and thus, understandably are bothered by this thread. But like I said you don't have to be on this thread or respond, to each his own. You know what really irritates me? Atheists, and that's why I never go on those threads with Atheists because I get heated, its a little too intense for me to get into and I get angry, so what do I do? Easy, I avoid those threads.

So then let me ask you "FaithfulServant"...

..was there a time while married, that you weren't "faithful"??

I am engaged to be married, have never been married before, I have never cheated and as far as I know I have never been cheated on. So I don't fit your mold