Hello, well I converted from scientific militant atheist to all-in Christian this year. After a lifetime of atheism,..a little song got me. We have a pop station at work playing, and somehow a "goofy" Jesus song snuck through all the inane "chick music" noise,..I heard it about 3 or 4 times and then I couldn't get it out of my mind, like my atheist soul was begging my mind to shut up for just a minute and listen. It was this weirdly compelling song called I Can Only Imagine, by MercyMe. The singer was so sincere! I've always thought that "Jesus People" have to be faking it, or something,..yet this guy was so authentic that the lyrics just pulled me into a kind of deeply beautiful mystery. I was almost embarrassed to be listening to it, given the fact I was a total Richard Dawkins disciple. Well, I ended up buying the song (secretly, of course!) along with some other "best of" songs from that group. I started listening sincerely to their songs in my man cave, secretly, until it became a kind of revelation, something I couldn't wait to hear when I got home from work, a kind of really embarrassing secret I was carrying that...yep, this grumpy atheist finally admitted to himself that he really really really wanted Jesus to come into his starving, desiccated, disconsolate heart. I wanted Jesus, but my mind wouldn't shut up and stop debating with itself. My heart would say "this just might be the Truth I've been searching for all my life"..and my mind would instantly go "Yeah, but...." and "this is ridiculous, let's re-think this! what will everyone say!"
A couple months later I was up in the hills with my dog, just looking at some distant mountains, listening to songs on my headphones,..I think it was about half way thru this gorgeous, heart-felt MercyMe song called Word of God Speak that I just gave up the struggle, the defenses,..and the love of Jesus rushed in to the depths of my dark cave and Found me. I spent hours there, just weeping for Joy, and telling Jesus how thankful I was that He came and rescued me, and how good He was for not giving up on this pitiful, scornful, arrogant, selfish atheist that was my previous self before that moment. I spent 3 hours up there, and came down a brand new man. My long-patient Christian wife of 20 years couldn't believe her ears when I told her what had happened to me, she was crying so much, so happy for me, and for us. I could say a lot more, but that's a good start for now! We are planning to get baptized together, and I have to say our marriage has taken on a whole new and deeper dimension.
A couple months later I was up in the hills with my dog, just looking at some distant mountains, listening to songs on my headphones,..I think it was about half way thru this gorgeous, heart-felt MercyMe song called Word of God Speak that I just gave up the struggle, the defenses,..and the love of Jesus rushed in to the depths of my dark cave and Found me. I spent hours there, just weeping for Joy, and telling Jesus how thankful I was that He came and rescued me, and how good He was for not giving up on this pitiful, scornful, arrogant, selfish atheist that was my previous self before that moment. I spent 3 hours up there, and came down a brand new man. My long-patient Christian wife of 20 years couldn't believe her ears when I told her what had happened to me, she was crying so much, so happy for me, and for us. I could say a lot more, but that's a good start for now! We are planning to get baptized together, and I have to say our marriage has taken on a whole new and deeper dimension.
