I'd recommend spending some time doing volunteer work for the poor and needy. Give yourself to others, instead of wanting others for yourself, and I think you'll find a little peace.
Sorry I can't be more helpful. To me it's always been a bit different, people get close, and I become friends with them, but at the end of the day I find myself thinking of my Patron's words: "Be friends with all men, but in your mind remain alone." -- St. Isaac the Syrian. To me, this is easy, and natural, and apparently to you it is much different... you have the need to share a part of yourself with others and have that deep connection, while I'm the type who needs to continually know himself and spend time in thought and silence, alone. That said, take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt, because I don't really know what it's like to walk in your shoes.
I think that you are trying to fill a "God-shaped hole" inside of you with externals, such as friendship. I also think you are painting a picture of what you want God to be, while not taking steps to become who God would have you be. You are allowing yourself to be a victim of circumstance, and I'm tired of seeing you get beat down day in and day out because you won't grow a bit of backbone and stand up and take what is yours to have, for Christ freely gives. What you should focus on is creating that relationship you are looking for in Him, and according to His standards, and not your own. It is not a Valentines day picnic, it is not a physical fantasy of hugs and smiles, it is a spiritual reality, where God comes and dwells within men who seek Him with all their heart.
The Church has shown man the way since Pentecost. You have been a catechumen long enough to know the prayers, read a couple books, some lives of the Saints, build a prayer corner, etc. Rather than saying woe is me at every opportunity that arises, ask for the ability to thank God for these circumstances, for salvation is impossible without trials and temptations. We are made in the image of God, we are one, and we are three: mind, body, and spirit. Subject your mind to the teachings of the Church, bend your body in prostrations and labors for your fellow man, considering yourself the least of them, and strive to purify your heart. Every day. Expecting nothing. Do this because you love God, and desire a close relationship with Him, not because you expect Him to meet you for dinner and a movie. Ask yourself how often you stand in front of your prayer corner attentively, and ask yourself how attentive you are to television. Ask yourself how often you give to others, and ask yourself how often you overeat. Ask yourself how often you think of God, and ask yourself how often you think of yourself. May God grant that it shakes you to your very core -- and indeed, all of us.
Your posts have a common theme: Me, me, me -- my, my, my -- now, now, now. Stop that. Let these be the meditation of your heart: "As Your love allows, Lord." "Glory to God for all things." This isn't sunshine Christianity, and as Father Seraphim Rose said, Christianity promises nothing but the cross. It can be very hard, because we are very sinful, but with the grace of God and our cooperation with Him on the path, we see how light is the path, how easy is the burden, how liberating is this cross... we may begin to bear it with gladness, knowing that even if death is our destination, even as the Son of Man had to die, our promise is the Resurrection -- and that is worth more than a close relationship.
Allow Jesus to be who you share all with. Form a closeness and lifelong bond with your spiritual father. That is more important, because, honestly Justin, what good is some kind of close friend if you are currently your worst enemy?
I desire you to have that relationship with the Lord Jesus more than you know. I, along with many others here and on DC pray for you always, but you have to bear one thing in mind, that St Anthony the Great once said to a despondent brother to rouse him from his spiritual slumber: "No, I will not pray for you, it does no good if you are not also praying for yourself." (quoted from memory)
God is God. He does not change. He is not simply who you want Him to be. You have potential because He is near to the broken-hearted, but you rob yourself of it if you do not turn to Him and endlessly seek external things. God dwells within the heart of man, and I assure you He is our Comforter, you just need to do your part. Ask yourself what you will say at the Judgment, "I was never close to you because you wouldn't give me a hug?" "You are not as meaningful as a close friendship would have been to me?" How foolish. None other could have taken your sins and nailed them to a cross forever. No other can restore your humanity and make you whole. No other promises you an eternal life, without pain, sorrow, or sighing, in exchange for giving Him your heart while in this quickly-passing and fleeting world.
You need to start trying.
