- Aug 9, 2018
- 114
- 231
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Private
Hi everyone,
Having just returned from a deeply impactful mission trip, I got the opportunity to stay with a host family for the first time. While still with them, I wrote a short "letter" of advice and honesty going out to every family to ever host a missionary, intern, or student. Thought I'd share here ~ just in case someone needs it.
Dear host family,
At the start, we’re almost always going to be wary of you. We might be shy. We’ll likely be very polite and buttoned up. Yet, as time passes, our real personalities will slowly come to light. As you get more comfortable with us, we’ll also be getting more comfortable with you. One of two things tend to happen at this point: either we’ll remain emotionally unaffected, eventually moving on — or we’ll become emotionally attached. Bear in mind, if you treat us like family, that we may eventually begin seeing you that way. I recall an occasion upon which I felt deeply alone in a crowd of acquaintances until I caught sight of a member of my host family (who had become very much like a parent to me). Immediately, my eyes lit up and I rushed over to talk to them, inwardly rejoicing that I wouldn’t have to ride home with anyone who felt like a stranger.
Recall: those who come under your roof are likely thousands of miles away from everyone they’ve ever been attached to. They likely feel very, very alone. We’re unlikely to reveal our feelings of loneliness to you, but if we start looking at you as a child looks at their parent or as a teenager looks at their close sibling, it means you’re one of the few people who makes the loneliness subside. It means we feel safe with you. That is no small thing.
Also, we are very hesitant to ask for anything. Speaking from my own experience, I didn’t dare ask for an extra blanket, even if I was cold. I didn’t like to request food before it was offered me, even if I was hungry. I hid many of my needs because I felt burdensome enough as it was, existing constantly under their roof and using up their resources. I absolutely loathed feeling like a burden. God thus gave me a good host “mum” who was clever enough to see through my passivity and compassionate enough to give me blankets and food, even when I pretended I didn’t need them. All this is to drive one point home: when we insist we don’t need anything, we’re probably lying. If we seem cold, please leave a blanket by our door. If we seem hungry, please offer us a snack or a small meal. Don’t immediately trust us when we tell you we're “fine”.
Also, it might feel awkward at first, but invite us to watch television with you. Please let us come with you on walks. Maybe, show us around your city. Introduce us to your favorite household meals. We may spend a lot of time in our rooms. This isn’t because we dislike you, but because we’re trying not to get in your way. Again, we don’t want to feel like burdens. So, if you have to lure us out of our tortoise shells over and over again with offers of warm drinks and living room fellowship, do so persistently. Being as shy as I was, I didn’t want to do things with my host family until they personally invited me to join them. I minded the boundaries they set for me. Yet, because they treated me like a member of their own family, I was able to bond with them tremendously over a very short time period.
We might just be another intern, missionary, or exchange student. However, you may be the closest thing we have to family for an unsure amount of time. You may be a place of safety for us in an environment of unpredictability. You may be significantly dearer to us than we feel strong enough to admit. We’re thankful for all you give us. Everything you do for us is remembered. We may not readily confess how we feel (this is largely dependent on personality), but never doubt the value of what you’re doing. You’re giving us the roof over our heads, but you’re also giving us warmth, love, laughter, and family in a place where we have no such things.
If you are or have ever been a host family, thank you. Always remember that your sacrifices are invaluable to the people you’ve taken into your care.
Love,
a grateful missionary
Having just returned from a deeply impactful mission trip, I got the opportunity to stay with a host family for the first time. While still with them, I wrote a short "letter" of advice and honesty going out to every family to ever host a missionary, intern, or student. Thought I'd share here ~ just in case someone needs it.
Dear host family,
At the start, we’re almost always going to be wary of you. We might be shy. We’ll likely be very polite and buttoned up. Yet, as time passes, our real personalities will slowly come to light. As you get more comfortable with us, we’ll also be getting more comfortable with you. One of two things tend to happen at this point: either we’ll remain emotionally unaffected, eventually moving on — or we’ll become emotionally attached. Bear in mind, if you treat us like family, that we may eventually begin seeing you that way. I recall an occasion upon which I felt deeply alone in a crowd of acquaintances until I caught sight of a member of my host family (who had become very much like a parent to me). Immediately, my eyes lit up and I rushed over to talk to them, inwardly rejoicing that I wouldn’t have to ride home with anyone who felt like a stranger.
Recall: those who come under your roof are likely thousands of miles away from everyone they’ve ever been attached to. They likely feel very, very alone. We’re unlikely to reveal our feelings of loneliness to you, but if we start looking at you as a child looks at their parent or as a teenager looks at their close sibling, it means you’re one of the few people who makes the loneliness subside. It means we feel safe with you. That is no small thing.
Also, we are very hesitant to ask for anything. Speaking from my own experience, I didn’t dare ask for an extra blanket, even if I was cold. I didn’t like to request food before it was offered me, even if I was hungry. I hid many of my needs because I felt burdensome enough as it was, existing constantly under their roof and using up their resources. I absolutely loathed feeling like a burden. God thus gave me a good host “mum” who was clever enough to see through my passivity and compassionate enough to give me blankets and food, even when I pretended I didn’t need them. All this is to drive one point home: when we insist we don’t need anything, we’re probably lying. If we seem cold, please leave a blanket by our door. If we seem hungry, please offer us a snack or a small meal. Don’t immediately trust us when we tell you we're “fine”.
Also, it might feel awkward at first, but invite us to watch television with you. Please let us come with you on walks. Maybe, show us around your city. Introduce us to your favorite household meals. We may spend a lot of time in our rooms. This isn’t because we dislike you, but because we’re trying not to get in your way. Again, we don’t want to feel like burdens. So, if you have to lure us out of our tortoise shells over and over again with offers of warm drinks and living room fellowship, do so persistently. Being as shy as I was, I didn’t want to do things with my host family until they personally invited me to join them. I minded the boundaries they set for me. Yet, because they treated me like a member of their own family, I was able to bond with them tremendously over a very short time period.
We might just be another intern, missionary, or exchange student. However, you may be the closest thing we have to family for an unsure amount of time. You may be a place of safety for us in an environment of unpredictability. You may be significantly dearer to us than we feel strong enough to admit. We’re thankful for all you give us. Everything you do for us is remembered. We may not readily confess how we feel (this is largely dependent on personality), but never doubt the value of what you’re doing. You’re giving us the roof over our heads, but you’re also giving us warmth, love, laughter, and family in a place where we have no such things.
If you are or have ever been a host family, thank you. Always remember that your sacrifices are invaluable to the people you’ve taken into your care.
Love,
a grateful missionary
