Cohabitation Question

[Benedicta00]

Yes I do. And doubtful.



She was in her early 20s - just out of collage so 21 or 22 I'd guess. Like I said, she has no regrets about it - it was such a good arrangement for her that I doubt she would discourage our daughter from doing the same.

Check back in a few years and we'll see.

and in no way would I ever condone a 20 /21 year old women room mating with a 45 year old man even if the man was gay, it is just not appropriate.

She doesn't have any regrets but that's not my question, ask her if this would be her first choice for her own daughter?

can we agree that a living arrangement such as this is not what is the best optimal situation, that there are better living situations than two guys and a girl or 1 girl and a 45 year old man??

You know you would not choose this for your daughter. You may go along with it, but you would not choose it.

 

[Cecilia]

My mind is not made up because a lot of things can change in a year. I was just seeing if this option would be workable. Asking my parents is out of the question, they don't care where I go as long as I'm out.

Perhaps the Lord will provide in a way that makes something else plausible.

 

[Miss Shelby]

My mind is not made up because a lot of things can change in a year. I was just seeing if this option would be workable.

Well then what did you mean when you said this? :

Thank you everyone for your opinions on the matter. I am pleased with the decision I have arrived at. It should be a fun adventure!

 

[Cecilia]

I meant exactly what I said in my last post. I believe that this option could in fact work and be beneficial to all involved. It should be a fun adventure to find out. Does that help make it clear?

 

[Miss Shelby]

Your mind is not made up but you're pleased with the decision you've arrived at. Even though you're not sure you've arrived at it? But when you do, it will be a fun adventure.

I think you're more confused about this then you're willing to admit.

 

[Cecilia]

Alright, let's try this again...

My mind is not made up, as nothing is for certain at this point. I am pleased that I have arrived at the decision that this option could in fact work and be beneficial. (The purpose of this thread was to discover that, and I did with the options of others who have had similar situations where they were not sexually involved with their housemates). The decision over what to do exactly is not made. And the process of making the decision should be a fun adventure. I think that covers the bases of your confusion, does it not?

 

[Miss Shelby]

Oh, so when you said a couple of pages ago that it should be a fun adventure, you were referring to the ongoing decision process --that was the decision you arrived at-- and not the moving in with your friend/s?

Yeah. Clear as a bell.

 

[Globalnomad]

well, I sure wouldn't take the advice of a bunch of fart knockers

Am I the only one who feels offended by this comment?

And Miss Shelby and Benedicta, forget your pious advice about going to a priest or to her parents. She's just told you they couldn't care less what she does as long as she gets out. I am horrified if this is true....

As for a priest, he is NOT likely to be able to give unbiased advice on this. His only expertise, and duty, is to warn against the possible moral dangers. And that is something that even we f-ks are able to do, and have done it. What do you want more than that?

 

[Miss Shelby]

fart isn't a naughty word Global. You don't have to write it out as though it is. That's rather pious of you.

Continue to give her all of the affirmation that she wants to hear. I am sure that's what's best for her.

 

[Globalnomad]

If the word means what I know it means, it IS an ugly word if applied to a human being. I am not being pious, I just know English, Miss Shelby.

And I am not affirming Cecilia, I am giving my honest opinion that she should feel free to use her own judgement in this matter.

 

[Miss Shelby]

I am not being pious, I just know English, Miss Shelby.

You don't like pious? How about arrogant? It's sheer arrogance that one would suggest that a bunch of nameless faceless people on the web (I won't use fart knockers since you took offense)--are much better at dispensing advice which could impact a young girl's spiritual life-- moreso than a priest could. But you did not just stop there did you? No, you said that a priest HAS NO BUSINESS at all giving such advice. So, you're right. Arrogant fits much better.

 

[Benedicta00]

My mind is not made up because a lot of things can change in a year. I was just seeing if this option would be workable. Asking my parents is out of the question, they don't care where I go as long as I'm out.

Perhaps the Lord will provide in a way that makes something else plausible.

the Lord will but don't be so deceived to think if he doesn't provide another way, that He must want you to do this.

You asked for advice, some believe there is noting wrong with this, I don;t say there is sin in this but just that it is not a good idea for a number of reasons, that the bad out weighs the benefit.

Let me also mention, it is best not to rely on others even in a room mate situation, these ppl may lose their job, end up being dead beats and not pay their share, what ever, you would be in the same boat of not being able to support yourself.

I'm sorry you don't have the support from your parents, I really am. Please try to look into other options before you settle into this.

i do not recommend young ppl staring out splitting the cost down the middle, gender issue aside becuase unless if you can afford the rent on your own, you will always be depending on the others and 9 times out of 10, someone, somewhere ends up not being able to meet their end of the obligation.

Just beware of all that can go wrong. I seriously hope all works out for you and trust me, becuase you have to start out like this, you will be a better person becuase of it. I know that is often a cliche, but it's true.

 

[Benedicta00]

You don't like pious? How about arrogant? It's sheer arrogance that one would suggest that a bunch of nameless faceless people on the web (I won't use fart knockers since you took offense)--are much better at dispensing advice which could impact a young girl's spiritual life-- moreso than a priest could. But you did not just stop there did you? No, you said that a priest HAS NO BUSINESS at all giving such advice. So, you're right. Arrogant fits much better.

The priest has no business??

 

[Benedicta00]

Am I the only one who feels offended by this comment?

And Miss Shelby and Benedicta, forget your pious advice about going to a priest or to her parents. She's just told you they couldn't care less what she does as long as she gets out. I am horrified if this is true....

As for a priest, he is NOT likely to be able to give unbiased advice on this. His only expertise, and duty, is to warn against the possible moral dangers. And that is something that even we f-ks are able to do, and have done it. What do you want more than that?

I want this girl to not be in this situation in the first place.

I want what is BEST for this girl.

i want for ppl who are old enough to know, to tell this girl that she is worth more than having to settle for this.

that's what more I want.

 

[Miss Shelby]

The priest has no business??

As for a priest, he is NOT likely to be able to give unbiased advice on this. His only expertise, and duty, is to warn against the possible moral dangers. And that is something that even we f-ks are able to do, and have done it. What do you want more than that?

.

 

[Globalnomad]

No, you said that a priest HAS NO BUSINESS at all giving such advice. So, you're right. Arrogant fits much better.

Ehmmm... shall we mind our English again, Miss Shelby? I did not say he has no business giving advice. I said "he is not likely to be able to give unbiased advice, since his only expertise, and duty, is to warn against the possible moral dangers." Do you want me to explain the difference?

But I think Benedicta made an important additional point there. I double-checked on my daughter about that, when she was making her own arragements, and I should not have forgotten it now. Cecilia, make very sure you are not left "holding the bag" if the others drop out suddenly because they can't, or won't, pay the rent. Be VERY careful what you sign, small print and all. Get independent legal advice, even if it costs you money you don't think you can afford.

 

[Benedicta00]

.

Well lets hope he gives bias advice, I mean that's what we hope our priest will be, bias towards the Church teachings.

becuase unless some ppl have forgotten, we are to form or conscious to the Church's moral teachings and not "today's culture."

 

[Miss Shelby]

Well lets hope he gives bias advice, I mean that's what we hope our priest will be, bias towards the Church teachings.

becuase unless some ppl have forgotten, we are to form or conscious to the Church's moral teachings and not "today's culture."

Well exactly. Which is why GN would say this advice is worthless. Hence, she's saying these celibate, know nothing about life, closed up secluded men have no bizwax giving advice with the big guns. Like her.

She may able to randomly apply the rules of the English language, but I am very good at reading between the lines.

 

[Benedicta00]

Ehmmm... shall we mind our English again, Miss Shelby? I did not say he has no business giving advice. I said "he is not likely to be able to give unbiased advice, since his only expertise, and duty, is to warn against the possible moral dangers." Do you want me to explain the difference?

But I think Benedicta made an important additional point there. I double-checked on my daughter about that, when she was making her own arragements, and I should not have forgotten it now. Cecilia, make very sure you are not left "holding the bag" if the others drop out suddenly because they can't, or won't, pay the rent. Be VERY careful what you sign, small print and all. Get independent legal advice, even if it costs you money you don't think you can afford.

It is the priest job to care for our souls and the soul, I'm sorry, but it does come first becuase after all, what does it profit a man to gain the world and lose His soul? Not a whole lot.

legal advice won't help her if she can't pay the next month's rent. yeah, she can sue, whoopee, that won't replace the roommate and she'll still be in that same situation she is in now. Looking for a place to live.

It is best she finds a situation where she doesn't have that level of risk involved.

And generally speaking young men are not that responsible, girls have a much greater sense of responsibility at that age then boys do.

 

[MikeK]

i want for ppl who are old enough to know, to tell this girl that she is worth more than having to settle for this.

Because having an opposite sex roomate living under the same roof is somehow indicative of a low self-worth? Garbage.