choosing abstinence??

[Luther073082]

I will say I'm 24 and still a virgin and its probably the hardest thing I've ever done. My parents who are agnostics pretty much endorsed me being sexually active when I turned 18 and before I went to college my dad bought me a box of condoms. It was easy in college cause all my friends where waiting. But now that I'm out and no one is I feel kind of left behind. Especially when all those friends of mine from college are now all married.

And I have to admit that I'm afraid of dying a virgin and I'm afraid that I'll never be married.

Its also tough for me to admit but in the interests of being real I'll tell you that on a couple of different occasions I've came very close to contacting a prostitute over the internet but I thought better of it at the end. And the funny thing is though is its almost like it wasn't really the lust or the want for sex that was causing it so much as it was me just being tired of carrying around the title of virgin.

Its much easier in our culture for a woman to be a virgin then a man. I've had other Christians make fun of me for being a virgin.

I've also had moments where I said to God "I quit" because being abstintent is too hard. But then I sleep on it and I realize that I would feel bad about having pre-marital sex for my whole life and I wasn't quite ready to deal with that guilt.

Its weird cause I honestly can deal with the lust, its not easy but its do-able. But I have difficulty dealing with the social stigma, cause honestly even I feel like a loser when I say I'm a virgin. . . even here. Any encouragement you can give I would apprechiate.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

Wow that is a very unfortunate turn of events. I do have to ask though (playing the devils advocate) what do you mean when you say "sex adict", as a man I can say 90% of men could be clasified as "sex adicts" in some way shape or form, was this just what you determined or did you talk with a wide bredth of people to find out what normal peoples sexual experences are like. If you stop sleeping with your husband or if sex is only here or there you put yourself at a greater chance he will leave you (cheating is never ok), or if there are certian sex acts you dont like and he cant live without. I dont know the situation, but when a woman calls a man a "sex adict" I really have to wonder because making that statement is not cut and dry. I pray that you find a man you are compatable with and are happy.

He was the one who told me he is a sex addict. I gave him almost all the sex he wanted because we were married I felt I should be pleasing my husband sexually. the only times I ever refused was when my muscle disorder was causing me too much pain to be physical (which I felt he should understand because he knew about my muscle disorder before we got married). He takes a lot of pride in the amount of women he's been with and has used prostitutes and such in the past. He likes the idea of cheating and bewing with many women at the same time without them knowing he's dating other women. I was even willing to stick by him while he got help but he swears he dosen't need help, and then when he's caught he says he can't stop and that he tried.

 

[rppearso]

I will say I'm 24 and still a virgin and its probably the hardest thing I've ever done. My parents who are agnostics pretty much endorsed me being sexually active when I turned 18 and before I went to college my dad bought me a box of condoms. It was easy in college cause all my friends where waiting. But now that I'm out and no one is I feel kind of left behind. Especially when all those friends of mine from college are now all married.

And I have to admit that I'm afraid of dying a virgin and I'm afraid that I'll never be married.

Its also tough for me to admit but in the interests of being real I'll tell you that on a couple of different occasions I've came very close to contacting a prostitute over the internet but I thought better of it at the end. And the funny thing is though is its almost like it wasn't really the lust or the want for sex that was causing it so much as it was me just being tired of carrying around the title of virgin.

Its much easier in our culture for a woman to be a virgin then a man. I've had other Christians make fun of me for being a virgin.

I've also had moments where I said to God "I quit" because being abstintent is too hard. But then I sleep on it and I realize that I would feel bad about having pre-marital sex for my whole life and I wasn't quite ready to deal with that guilt.

Its weird cause I honestly can deal with the lust, its not easy but its do-able. But I have difficulty dealing with the social stigma, cause honestly even I feel like a loser when I say I'm a virgin. . . even here. Any encouragement you can give I would apprechiate.

1 Corinthians 7:9 however you were saying you dont really burn with lust, although I find that hard to believe, sex drive is far more powerful than peer pressure in my opinion. Pre-marital sex is wrong but abstinance is also unnatural for long periods of time, God ment for man to marry and have sex. Also maybe you should not advertise the fact that you are a virgin. So get out there and start dating, there are several christian online dating sites, I met my wife online. Just make sure if you get serious with someone to discuss sex in explicit detail as to what each of you are willing to do (ie oral sex, etc), you dont want to get caught in a marriage where one of you are unhappy sexually, sex can ruin a relationship quicker than finances, inlaws or anything else I can think of. I dont think its any easier socially for a man or a woman to not be in a relationship for a long time, although I would say in general it is easier for a woman to abstain from sex.

 

[rppearso]

He was the one who told me he is a sex addict. I gave him almost all the sex he wanted because we were married I felt I should be pleasing my husband sexually. the only times I ever refused was when my muscle disorder was causing me too much pain to be physical (which I felt he should understand because he knew about my muscle disorder before we got married). He takes a lot of pride in the amount of women he's been with and has used prostitutes and such in the past. He likes the idea of cheating and bewing with many women at the same time without them knowing he's dating other women. I was even willing to stick by him while he got help but he swears he dosen't need help, and then when he's caught he says he can't stop and that he tried.

Oh wow, thats pretty bad. Im sorry that happened, he sounds like a slime. He must be pretty attractive (physically only) to be able to pull that off. You should not give up on dating there are lots of good men out there that will be faithfull to you and will build there life with you.

 

[Luther073082]

1 Corinthians 7:9 however you were saying you dont really burn with lust, although I find that hard to believe, sex drive is far more powerful than peer pressure in my opinion. Pre-marital sex is wrong but abstinance is also unnatural for long periods of time, God ment for man to marry and have sex. Also maybe you should not advertise the fact that you are a virgin. So get out there and start dating, there are several christian online dating sites, I met my wife online. Just make sure if you get serious with someone to discuss sex in explicit detail as to what each of you are willing to do (ie oral sex, etc), you dont want to get caught in a marriage where one of you are unhappy sexually, sex can ruin a relationship quicker than finances, inlaws or anything else I can think of. I dont think its any easier socially for a man or a woman to not be in a relationship for a long time, although I would say in general it is easier for a woman to abstain from sex.

I do burn with lust per say but thats is nothing compaired to other issues.

My parents are dissappointed in me because I am abstient. I mean that really hurts. My father feels the need to try and talk a big talk for me that is just using a few facts and trying to make other people think I'm some kind of player. For example my father will tell other guys that I have ten girls in my cell phone and that I do ballroom dance and a lot of girls do that. Well I do ballroom dance but I don't do it anymore to meet women. And the girls that where in my cell phone where just friends and nothing more. Often they where in there because I was on E-board with them or in a group in one of my college classes with them and we had to be able to reach eachother.

My parents hate the fact that I'm abstent and have pretty much told me I'm wrong for being this way. My own mother has suggested that I hire a prostitute in the past.

I don't really advertise that I'm a virgin per se but I've made it clear within my family that I intend on waiting otherwise my dad will just do things like buy me condoms and things like that. And when I tell him that I don't want them because I don't need them he makes me feel like a loser even though I doubt he intends it.

Look I don't know where you are with your family or something but for most of the people here it seems like they grew up in the church and their parents where supportive. My parents are agnostic, they don't go to church and they are not supportive of my beliefs or my lifestyle. In fact at one point they where upset with me with the amount of money that I was donating to to church even though it was short of the full 10% tithe. (I can't afford that)

My parents just wanted a normal child and they got me instead and that dissappoints them even though they will never say it I can tell. I graduated from college, I never made any real big mistakes worth mentioning but none of that matters. In a lot of ways I'm jealous of my brother. He's 7 years younger then me, he barely graduated from high school, he had unprotected sex with his girlfriend when he was 16 and in 3 years of driving he's been pulled over multiple times (While in my 8 years of driving I've never been pulled over) Sometimes I just wish I'd made more mistakes so my parents would have a normal child like they want. As crazy as that sounds.

But anymore I have to choose between my parent's love and God and that isn't an easy choice.

But this is the thing, I want to be respected, I want to be liked, and I want to be loved. And though I want to have sex, I want to be respected and loved more then that. And that is where the difficulty comes in, I don't like to lie and it doesn't make me feel that great that I'm hiding the fact that I'm a virgin from everyone. And it makes me feel worse that if that was said infront of some people even certain members of my church would think it was funny and that I was a loser.

My parents would probably respect me more if I went out and hired a prostitue then they do now.

Why do you think it was easier in college when the people around me where waiting? I come back and have more contact with my parents again and suddenly abstience went from something that was reveared to something that was despised. And now I'm afraid that any girl that I do date would eventually find out about this and suddenly change her mind about me and think that I'm a loser. I mean what girl wants to date a 24 year old virgin? Certainly not many! Even further on that who else out there has actually made the same sacrifice that would make it all seem worth it in the end. Close to none! My parents remind me of that all the time and pretty much make sure that I'm just about the only person in the world doing so. Everywhere I go I'm reminded of this fact someone or something is there to remind me. The woman who has 6 different kids with 6 different men or the man who has 6 kids with 6 different woman and doesn't pay an child support is still respected more then the 24 year old virgin. A person can have 12 different STD's and still get more respect from people then the 24 year old virgin. And hell maybe their parents are more proud of them too.

Maybe the guilt wouldn't be as bad as feeling like a dissappointment to my parents.

 

[rppearso]

I do burn with lust per say but thats is nothing compaired to other issues.

My parents are dissappointed in me because I am abstient. I mean that really hurts. My father feels the need to try and talk a big talk for me that is just using a few facts and trying to make other people think I'm some kind of player. For example my father will tell other guys that I have ten girls in my cell phone and that I do ballroom dance and a lot of girls do that. Well I do ballroom dance but I don't do it anymore to meet women. And the girls that where in my cell phone where just friends and nothing more. Often they where in there because I was on E-board with them or in a group in one of my college classes with them and we had to be able to reach eachother.

My parents hate the fact that I'm abstent and have pretty much told me I'm wrong for being this way. My own mother has suggested that I hire a prostitute in the past.

I don't really advertise that I'm a virgin per se but I've made it clear within my family that I intend on waiting otherwise my dad will just do things like buy me condoms and things like that. And when I tell him that I don't want them because I don't need them he makes me feel like a loser even though I doubt he intends it.

Look I don't know where you are with your family or something but for most of the people here it seems like they grew up in the church and their parents where supportive. My parents are agnostic, they don't go to church and they are not supportive of my beliefs or my lifestyle. In fact at one point they where upset with me with the amount of money that I was donating to to church even though it was short of the full 10% tithe. (I can't afford that)

My parents just wanted a normal child and they got me instead and that dissappoints them even though they will never say it I can tell. I graduated from college, I never made any real big mistakes worth mentioning but none of that matters. In a lot of ways I'm jealous of my brother. He's 7 years younger then me, he barely graduated from high school, he had unprotected sex with his girlfriend when he was 16 and in 3 years of driving he's been pulled over multiple times (While in my 8 years of driving I've never been pulled over) Sometimes I just wish I'd made more mistakes so my parents would have a normal child like they want. As crazy as that sounds.

But anymore I have to choose between my parent's love and God and that isn't an easy choice.

But this is the thing, I want to be respected, I want to be liked, and I want to be loved. And though I want to have sex, I want to be respected and loved more then that. And that is where the difficulty comes in, I don't like to lie and it doesn't make me feel that great that I'm hiding the fact that I'm a virgin from everyone. And it makes me feel worse that if that was said infront of some people even certain members of my church would think it was funny and that I was a loser.

My parents would probably respect me more if I went out and hired a prostitue then they do now.

Why do you think it was easier in college when the people around me where waiting? I come back and have more contact with my parents again and suddenly abstience went from something that was reveared to something that was despised. And now I'm afraid that any girl that I do date would eventually find out about this and suddenly change her mind about me and think that I'm a loser. I mean what girl wants to date a 24 year old virgin? Certainly not many! Even further on that who else out there has actually made the same sacrifice that would make it all seem worth it in the end. Close to none! My parents remind me of that all the time and pretty much make sure that I'm just about the only person in the world doing so. Everywhere I go I'm reminded of this fact someone or something is there to remind me. The woman who has 6 different kids with 6 different men or the man who has 6 kids with 6 different woman and doesn't pay an child support is still respected more then the 24 year old virgin. A person can have 12 different STD's and still get more respect from people then the 24 year old virgin. And hell maybe their parents are more proud of them too.

Maybe the guilt wouldn't be as bad as feeling like a dissappointment to my parents.

I dont know what to say about the parents issue, do they bring up the issue insesantly? I would just not talk about the sex issue when you are around your parents. I would respect you way more than the attractive woman you see in the grocery store and think wow she is cute and then you see the 2 kids in the cart with no ring. You are correct that there are few women who abstain (hey maybe they have an internet dating site for virgins, I acctually would not doubt it). I think if you dont get married or have sex soon you will have missed out on your most sex charged years, just something to think about. You have to live life and make mistakes to find your way, some will get lucky and both marry as virgins, but if you dont get so lucky you could end up waiting for someone and miss having sex during the best time of your life. Even if a woman you meet is not a virgin and you really like her and she likes you what does it matter (so long as she doesnt have STD's, or kids if you dont want kids). Go out date find a woman you like and have fun, bring up the tough questions have a short engagement and get married. You may end up falling into lust with someone and have premarital sex and get married anyways or not, life happens just roll with it.

 

[VictoriasImage77]

I do burn with lust per say but thats is nothing compaired to other issues.

My parents are dissappointed in me because I am abstient. I mean that really hurts. My father feels the need to try and talk a big talk for me that is just using a few facts and trying to make other people think I'm some kind of player. For example my father will tell other guys that I have ten girls in my cell phone and that I do ballroom dance and a lot of girls do that. Well I do ballroom dance but I don't do it anymore to meet women. And the girls that where in my cell phone where just friends and nothing more. Often they where in there because I was on E-board with them or in a group in one of my college classes with them and we had to be able to reach eachother.

My parents hate the fact that I'm abstent and have pretty much told me I'm wrong for being this way. My own mother has suggested that I hire a prostitute in the past.

I don't really advertise that I'm a virgin per se but I've made it clear within my family that I intend on waiting otherwise my dad will just do things like buy me condoms and things like that. And when I tell him that I don't want them because I don't need them he makes me feel like a loser even though I doubt he intends it.

Look I don't know where you are with your family or something but for most of the people here it seems like they grew up in the church and their parents where supportive. My parents are agnostic, they don't go to church and they are not supportive of my beliefs or my lifestyle. In fact at one point they where upset with me with the amount of money that I was donating to to church even though it was short of the full 10% tithe. (I can't afford that)

My parents just wanted a normal child and they got me instead and that dissappoints them even though they will never say it I can tell. I graduated from college, I never made any real big mistakes worth mentioning but none of that matters. In a lot of ways I'm jealous of my brother. He's 7 years younger then me, he barely graduated from high school, he had unprotected sex with his girlfriend when he was 16 and in 3 years of driving he's been pulled over multiple times (While in my 8 years of driving I've never been pulled over) Sometimes I just wish I'd made more mistakes so my parents would have a normal child like they want. As crazy as that sounds.

But anymore I have to choose between my parent's love and God and that isn't an easy choice.

But this is the thing, I want to be respected, I want to be liked, and I want to be loved. And though I want to have sex, I want to be respected and loved more then that. And that is where the difficulty comes in, I don't like to lie and it doesn't make me feel that great that I'm hiding the fact that I'm a virgin from everyone. And it makes me feel worse that if that was said infront of some people even certain members of my church would think it was funny and that I was a loser.

My parents would probably respect me more if I went out and hired a prostitue then they do now.

Why do you think it was easier in college when the people around me where waiting? I come back and have more contact with my parents again and suddenly abstience went from something that was reveared to something that was despised. And now I'm afraid that any girl that I do date would eventually find out about this and suddenly change her mind about me and think that I'm a loser. I mean what girl wants to date a 24 year old virgin? Certainly not many! Even further on that who else out there has actually made the same sacrifice that would make it all seem worth it in the end. Close to none! My parents remind me of that all the time and pretty much make sure that I'm just about the only person in the world doing so. Everywhere I go I'm reminded of this fact someone or something is there to remind me. The woman who has 6 different kids with 6 different men or the man who has 6 kids with 6 different woman and doesn't pay an child support is still respected more then the 24 year old virgin. A person can have 12 different STD's and still get more respect from people then the 24 year old virgin. And hell maybe their parents are more proud of them too.

Maybe the guilt wouldn't be as bad as feeling like a dissappointment to my parents.

I would love be be a 24 year old virgin. I wish I was. I think that's something to be very proud of.

 

[Luther073082]

I dont know what to say about the parents issue, do they bring up the issue insesantly? I would just not talk about the sex issue when you are around your parents. I would respect you way more than the attractive woman you see in the grocery store and think wow she is cute and then you see the 2 kids in the cart with no ring. You are correct that there are few women who abstain (hey maybe they have an internet dating site for virgins, I acctually would not doubt it). I think if you dont get married or have sex soon you will have missed out on your most sex charged years, just something to think about. You have to live life and make mistakes to find your way, some will get lucky and both marry as virgins, but if you dont get so lucky you could end up waiting for someone and miss having sex during the best time of your life. Even if a woman you meet is not a virgin and you really like her and she likes you what does it matter (so long as she doesnt have STD's, or kids if you dont want kids). Go out date find a woman you like and have fun, bring up the tough questions have a short engagement and get married. You may end up falling into lust with someone and have premarital sex and get married anyways or not, life happens just roll with it.

I don't bring up sex with my parents that often but if it ever does come up then this is what happens. And sometimes they bring it up just to try to talk me out of it again. I know I need to get married, the biggest mistake I ever did make was not finding a wife while I was in college. I want to be married and trust me I want to be having sex. But I don't have a person to marry as yet and sometimes people just have to live with that. Or find themselves a mail order bride (Which by the way I have considered although not really seriously) Your lucky you managed to find your wife when you where young.

My parents love me and I know that but I have to deal with the fact that I'm a dissappointment to them and the rest of the family and that my dad feels the need to make me out to be a player which is definatly not who I am just so I won't embarrass him with who I really am.

But now I think you understand what I mean about dropping the title virgin feeling more important then the lust. Hell man the lust is there but its nothing compaired to choosing between what God wants and what your parents want.

My extended family is almost as bad. They are mostly Sunday morning Christians. Sure they make it to mass every Sunday but its pretty clear that they don't actually care about serving God or making their faith important on any other day of the week. Doing this has always been very tempting for me. That way I could be saved and have my family at least somewhat proud of me.

I'd be very happy to be married and I wouldn't have any of these problems. But in the absence of that I'd certainly be happy if my family would just be proud of who I am.

 

[Kol]

Who cares what anyone but you thinks? Your life is your own, man, live it! And if you live it, then live it for God.

You have a very good chance here to not only show your loyalty to our Lord, but your patience, sacrifice, and love for him as well. Not everybody gets that chance. Show God that you love Him, by obeying Him.

I think at times I'm going to go crazy from this self-imposed abstinence. I know I could very easily take the chance to finish it. I've done *everything* I can to make it easier to abstain, from cutting what I watch to exercising to staying at home or away from friends on nights I need to. (Like when they're going out.)

I'm older than you and I'm still a virgin. (Somewhat). When I was 18, I was going to have sex with this girl. She was on my lap, and (however you want to say it) I started to enter her. At the time I wasn't a Christian, I was into New Age. As I began to do what I was doing, I had a psychic "flash". I felt an eye on my forehead closing, and something that felt like a covering over my own eyes, melting away. I pulled away from the girl and refused to have sex with her. I did this because I felt that sleeping with her would ruin my spirituality. My point is, if a pagan new-ager can make the choice to abstain, then you can too.

I plan on getting married - and no matter how old I am, I will not bow down to any desire to have sex before then. I am in control of this body. I am its master. And I am not here to please it, I am here to please myself and God. I do this by living for an Eternal God in an uncorruptable heaven.

There are plenty of Catholic men who never have sex, in order to serve God with all their hearts. Of course many default on this agreement, but there are still some very good, God-loving priests who stay true to their vows.

What about Augustus, what about Paul? These are my heroes, men I look up to. How could I imagine myself facing them in heaven if I cowered to my carnal desires? I wouldn't be fit to.

I *will* be able to tell my son one day that I never slept with anyone before his mother. By being able to say this, I can encourage him to do the same, and there will be two more God-fearing men in this world. My granddad (the man who raised me) taught me this way, and I'll teach my son the same way.

Live for God, and know that you are not alone.

 

[underthesouthercross]

all i would say is god has given the strength for my to get over sexual desires it hard but keep on trusting in god and by your faith and trust in god it will happen...
but at the same time you have to give it to him...
all your hurts and your past pleasures of your oldself...
let it go and fully commit to god...
body soul and spirit...
god bless

 

[MarkEvan]

Brief background on my situation:

I was raised in church all of my life, but I began to stray once I got to undergrad - mostly just because I started sleeping in on Sundays and it eventually became habit. Over the past 7 years of so, I have occasionally felt an almost tangible pull on my life. Each time, I have resisted and instead chose to live the way I wanted to. In just the past month or so, I've decided to stop running. I can't say for sure exactly what brought it on, but I am ready to really give in and work on becoming the woman I know God wants me to be. I have prayed with my pastor and with my mother, and I can honestly say that I don't even feel like the same person lately. I have a JOY that I've never had before, and I am really ready to make some necessary changes in my life.

That said, I am 24 and single. Sex is probably my greatest temptation, but I would really love to STOP and abstain until marriage. Has anyone else made the decision to STOP having sex? If so, how have you been doing so far? How do potential partners react to this? I find that people are far more receptive to the idea of virgins wanting to wait until marriage than they are to the idea of someone who has been sexually active suddenly deciding to abstain. Any thoughts / suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

God is faithful and just, if you desire this then God will give you the strength to stand, sure temptations will come...to say they wont is to say that satan is inactive.....but Paul tells us that "there is no temptation that is not common to all men, and that you will not be tested beyond what you are able to withstand, God is faithful and He will provide the way out," that way out is always our leaning on Him and His strength, because in our own strength we cannot do this.......but God is faithful.....the question is, will you remain faithful.

Mark

 

[Kol]

Psalms 16.2: I have said to the Lord, "You are my lord; apart from you, I will accept no good thing..."

This makes me think of something.

...

Luther, my friend, hang in there!

Sex outside of marriage is *never* okay. It's not okay to give in because it's difficult to abstain. It's not okay to give in because you're 30 or 40. It's not okay to give in because of any reason! It is never okay.

Jesus is not just a religion to me. This is something I want to believe in. This dream that God has of a heaven where people love Him and each other is something I want to believe in. I will go through any amount of pain or ridicule to get to that dream.

Here is the Code of Conduct for the US military. See if you can draw a parallel between being a prisoner of war and being a Christian in this world:

Articles of the Code of Conduct:

Article I
I am an American, fighting in the forces which guard my country and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defense.

Article II
I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist.

Article III
If I am captured I will continue to resist by all means available. I will make every effort to escape and aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy.

Article IV
Should I become a prisoner of war, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will give no information nor take part in any action which might be harmful to my comrades. If I am senior, I will take command. If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me and will back them up in every way.

Article V
When questioned, should I become a prisoner of war, I am required to give name, rank, service number, and date of birth. I will evade answering further questions to the utmost of my ability. I will make no oral or written statements disloyal to my country and its allies or harmful to their cause.

Article VI
I will never forget that I am an American fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free. I will trust in my God and in the United States of America.

Godbless.

 

[Luther073082]

Who cares what anyone but you thinks? Your life is your own, man, live it! And if you live it, then live it for God.

You have a very good chance here to not only show your loyalty to our Lord, but your patience, sacrifice, and love for him as well. Not everybody gets that chance. Show God that you love Him, by obeying Him.

I think at times I'm going to go crazy from this self-imposed abstinence. I know I could very easily take the chance to finish it. I've done *everything* I can to make it easier to abstain, from cutting what I watch to exercising to staying at home or away from friends on nights I need to. (Like when they're going out.)

I'm older than you and I'm still a virgin. (Somewhat). When I was 18, I was going to have sex with this girl. She was on my lap, and (however you want to say it) I started to enter her. At the time I wasn't a Christian, I was into New Age. As I began to do what I was doing, I had a psychic "flash". I felt an eye on my forehead closing, and something that felt like a covering over my own eyes, melting away. I pulled away from the girl and refused to have sex with her. I did this because I felt that sleeping with her would ruin my spirituality. My point is, if a pagan new-ager can make the choice to abstain, then you can too.

I plan on getting married - and no matter how old I am, I will not bow down to any desire to have sex before then. I am in control of this body. I am its master. And I am not here to please it, I am here to please myself and God. I do this by living for an Eternal God in an uncorruptable heaven.

There are plenty of Catholic men who never have sex, in order to serve God with all their hearts. Of course many default on this agreement, but there are still some very good, God-loving priests who stay true to their vows.

What about Augustus, what about Paul? These are my heroes, men I look up to. How could I imagine myself facing them in heaven if I cowered to my carnal desires? I wouldn't be fit to.

I *will* be able to tell my son one day that I never slept with anyone before his mother. By being able to say this, I can encourage him to do the same, and there will be two more God-fearing men in this world. My granddad (the man who raised me) taught me this way, and I'll teach my son the same way.

Live for God, and know that you are not alone.

Thanks and I try to remind myself of that when my lust comes back to me that others don't have sex at all.

But like I said I think the greatest difficulty comes with disappointing my parents in what I'm doing. I almost feel like if I had made more mistakes or that I did something to drop this title then maybe my parents might be more proud of me.

If I had their support I think this would be a lot easier. Thanks for your encouragement.

 

[rppearso]

Thanks and I try to remind myself of that when my lust comes back to me that others don't have sex at all.

But like I said I think the greatest difficulty comes with disappointing my parents in what I'm doing. I almost feel like if I had made more mistakes or that I did something to drop this title then maybe my parents might be more proud of me.

If I had their support I think this would be a lot easier. Thanks for your encouragement.

I think catholics have some skewed views of christianity but that is just my opinion (the whole worshiping marry and priests "abstaining from sex" which leads to child rape in alot of cases). I dont think melodramatizing the situation helps. You just need to seek a wife and get married, get on to bigchurch.com or match.com or yahoo. There is not much you can do about your parents other than to set boundries the next time they bring it up OR you could ask your mom to set you up with someone nice instead of calling you a hooker try to make there ambitions positive. Im a problem solver, I dont find gradious statements particularly helpfull without some sort of action plan nor do I see any reason why you would have to stay a virgin until you are 30 or 40. God is good and God will provide but you have to do some leg work on your end, God does not nessicarily want you to abstain (he created sex drive) he wants you to get married and be happy. All I was saying with the premarital sex thing is that life happens people make mistakes and life goes on (I never said it was ok) but you dont want to be so paranoid of sin (where you sit in your house and alienate your friends) that you jip yourself out of a life God intended for you. Non of us are without sin sexual or otherwise (and all sin is equal) so if you slipped up and had sex its equivalent to flipping someone off on the highway. The most important thing is you repent from your sin and learn from your mistakes, and not be so paranoid about making the mistake in the first place to the point that you do nothing (or even limit your happieness)

 

[Kol]

Mistakes are not acceptable; failure is not an option.

Perhaps what the above poster is saying is right in some regards. But I'm here saying that "people make mistakes" is not okay for me. I don't fail. If I want something, I take it. In this case, I want obedience to God. I will have it.

Sex drive is simply something else for me to dominate.

 

[rppearso]

Mistakes are not acceptable; failure is not an option.

Perhaps what the above poster is saying is right in some regards. But I'm here saying that "people make mistakes" is not okay for me. I don't fail. If I want something, I take it. In this case, I want obedience to God. I will have it.

Sex drive is simply something else for me to dominate.

To each there own, but I dont think that is particularly useful advice for most people especially for someone like the OP who does want to get married and does want to have sex and just needs usefull suggestions to move forward.

I would be careful with that type of attitude because even in the absence of percieved sin you are skirting the edge of the sin of pride, no one is making it to heaven on there own power only through the power of christ. I think it is unfortunate that you put yourself in the situations that you do because you are only cheating yourself with the excuse that it is to serve God. Sex should not rule your life, just like food or anything else, but at the same time you should not fight a natural tendency put in you by God and enjoy something that God ment for you to enjoy.

 

[CroCop]

I think catholics have some skewed views of christianity but that is just my opinion (the whole worshiping marry and priests "abstaining from sex" which leads to child rape in alot of cases).

Don't you think its a shame though that your opinion absolutley has no basis or truth to it whatsoever? I believe it is, and I feel sorry for you.

 

[rppearso]

Don't you think its a shame though that your opinion absolutley has no basis or truth to it whatsoever? I believe it is, and I feel sorry for you.

oy, how did I know someone would isolate this statement and make a comment that totally disregards the entire discussion. There is always one in a crowd.

 

[CroCop]

oy, how did I know someone would isolate this statement and make a comment that totally disregards the entire discussion. There is always one in a crowd.

Why did you make the comment then? It's straight forward to me what you said. You said it, and I quoted you. So what now?

 

[rppearso]

Why did you make the comment then? It's straight forward to me what you said. You said it, and I quoted you. So what now?

Nothing now, I just think its irritating when people try to diverge the discusion where there is no discussion. Its my opinion and its the reason I dont agree with pastors/priests not being able to marry, who knows what is going through someones mind when they have been deprived of sex for years and years, regardless of whatever they signed. Can we get back on subject.